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  1. 71

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    “Too old for slip-n-slides, absolutely,” said Tony. “Old enough to risk your life on Avenger missions? Absolutely not.”

    Peter rolled his eyes and laughed. “You’re just jealous, Mr. Stark.”

    “Of what, exactly? Your voice cracks?”

    “My voice hasn’t cracked in a long time,” said Peter. Tony resisted the urge to tell it had just last week, that him and May were just pretending not to notice. “And no, you’re jealous that you’re actually too old to go on the slip-n-slide.”

    “Pete I saved this entire universe I think I can handle a wet piece of tarp.”

    OR

    Tony can't handle a wet piece of trap and throws his back out trying to go down Morgan's slip-n-slide.

    Febuwhump day 11: graceless

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,502
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    489
    Bookmarks:
    71
    Hits:
    4,346
  2. 67

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    Toddler Peter is obsessed with Bananas...

    And Dums.

    ---
    That's it. That's the Fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,028
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    562
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    5,794
  3. 77

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    Call it dramatic, but Peter swore he could hear his blood pumping in his ears as his shoes skidded against the well-worn floors, stopping in front of the looming posting on the cork board next to Mrs. Andersen’s door.

    “The Gay Little Mermaid (a Midtown Production)
    Flounder …… Cindy Moon
    King Triton …… Michelle Jones
    Prince Ariel …… Peter Parker
    Prince Eric …… ‘Flash’ Eugene Thompson
    Sebastian …… Abe Brown
    The Queen …… Betty Grant
    Ursula …… Ned Leeds…"

    Wait. Back up. Hold on.

    Prince Ariel …… Peter Parker…

    His life was officially, unequivocally, over.

    “You have GOT to be kidding me.”

    -------------------------------

    Alternatively, what happens when you let kids at a stem school put on a show with full creative control. There's no way you could possibly regret this, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,382
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    503
    Bookmarks:
    77
    Hits:
    3,618
  4. *

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    Summary

    Teenagers are teenagers, and teenagers get bored quite easily. Some teenagers combat this with extracurriculars, like Band or Debate Team or the School Newspaper or Academic Decathlon or Vigilantism. Unfortunately for the Midtown Academic Decathlon team, who were all in both AcaDec and at least one of the other options already listed, that wasn't enough. One of the most challenging science schools in the state plus two extracurriculars just wasn't doing it. They were bored. Life was boring.

    They could fix that.

    Betty could fix that.

    She knew exactly how.

    -=o0o=-

    AKA: 5 times that Peter goes along with the AcaDec team's official game of Truth or Dare, and 1 time that he can't.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,006
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    984
    Bookmarks:
    145
    Hits:
    6,619
  5. 59

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    Summary

    Peter retaliating against “baby monitor protocol” by changing the names of Tony’s Iron Man protocols.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,929
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    429
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    3,511
  6. *

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    Summary

    Tony doesn’t realize what kind of chaos he is bringing on himself and Stark Industries when he assigns an intern to Peter.

    OR

    Peter’s new personal intern likes chaos just as much as he does.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,395
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    207
    Kudos:
    5,980
    Bookmarks:
    820
    Hits:
    43,406
  7. 53

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    Summary

    “C’mon! How do you not know anything?!”

    “My three pHds would beg to differ.”

    “Then beg.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,153
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    484
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    3,956
  8. 58

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    Summary

    Peter and Tony find out that Steve's not a natural blond and it rocks their world.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,652
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    568
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    5,139
  9. *

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    Summary

    Tony closed his eyes, let out a long breath, and stood up from where he had been hunched over his bench. “What is your name?”

    “I’m not sure. I’ll have to get back to you on that.”

    Tony felt his body lock up. “FRIDAY-”

    “Yes, boss?”

    “Is there anyone in this lab?” He kept his voice calm.

    “Other than you? No.”

    ((Or ghost AND hydra Peter au with reg. updates. Also this fic is not nearly as dark as the tags make it seem.))

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,172
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    1,243
    Bookmarks:
    227
    Hits:
    11,779
  10. *

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    "Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor!"

    Mjöllnir has a consciousness. In one reality, the hammer took those words at face value. In another, he took it to be a direction, to find one of worth to be wielded by.

    Which is how Mjöllnir, hammer of the god Thor, ends up in an elementary school in Queens. Because Peter Benjamin Park, a geeky 9-year-old with a heart of gold, is nothing if not worthy.

    Thor's fall to Earth is guided by his trusty hammer. Lost and powerless in this strange land of York, Thor is taken in by two tiny mortals: Ned Leeds, son of Mr. Leeds, and Peter Parker, nephew of Ben. Though he has lived many of Midgard centuries, these children have much to teach him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,190
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    180
    Kudos:
    737
    Bookmarks:
    188
    Hits:
    13,299
  11. *

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    Summary

    When Ansari said, “Your father is Tony Stark,” Tony prepared himself for his son’s disappointment and anger but all he saw on Peter’s face was confusion.

    He opened and closed his mouth several times, inhaling through his nose then slowly releasing the breath through his mouth. His eyebrows were furrowed and his nose was scrunched in a facial expression that read “okay, what the fuck.”

    “Okay, what the fuck,” Peter said.

     

    aka my take on biodad au where peter is kidnapped as a child and they're reunited years later by chance. featuring peter breaking out of a police interrogation room to get iced coffee, tony stark's childhood trauma, and a healthy dose of found family

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,606
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    258
    Kudos:
    4,541
    Bookmarks:
    846
    Hits:
    101,355
  12. 20

    Tags
    Summary

    Steve, Tony, Peter, and Johnny grab a bite to eat. It doesn't go the way Peter thought it would.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,248
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    359
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    3,209
  13. *

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    Summary

    New York heroes The Human Torch and Spider-Man answer the web's most searched questions about each other. Who is Spider-Man? Who's Johnny Storm's favorite Avenger? Is Spider-Man really from the moon?

    or

    Spideytorch does the infamous WIRED interview. It ends in a small studio fire and lots of apologizing.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,795
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    1,813
    Bookmarks:
    207
    Hits:
    11,763
  14. *

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    Summary

    It starts as a helpful act on Spider Man’s part, because that’s what Spider Man does, doesn’t he?  He helps people.  It’s his whole MO, whether he’s helping a kid get his cat out of a tree, or helping a lost tourist, or helping someone whose car is getting broken into. So it's just another day on the job when a local restaurant owner asks for his help. It's not long before Peter's enjoying what he's doing though, and hoping Mr. Stark and the other Avengers don't find out about his side hustle.

    OR

    Spider Man accidentally gets a job as a pizza delivery spider.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,213
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    1,632
    Bookmarks:
    179
    Hits:
    10,459
  15. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Peter wasn't a crush-worthy dude! He was excitable, and didn't navigate social situations all too well, and he was an all-around disaster—May always said he most definitely got that from Ben's side of the family—and he was most definitely not at all someone that anyone should be having a crush on. He was, like, the dorkiest dork around! How could anyone have a crush on him?

    Harley. Harley could, apparently. Which was, obviously, so fucking surprising that Peter was on the verge of freaking out.

    It only got worse when Harley said, "MJ. I think I have a problem. A Peter Parker-specific problem, holy fuck."

    Holy fuck was right because holy fuck.

    or

    Peter hears something he wasn't meant to. Cue the awkward maybe-flirting.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,547
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    923
    Bookmarks:
    108
    Hits:
    5,772
  16. 19

    Tags
    Summary

    Now that Harley has been in the tower for a few months, Peter wants a refund on his brother. Tony is highly amused, but it's too early for it. Good thing Harley has it handled.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,224
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    276
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    4,086
  17. 39

    Tags
    Summary

    “My English sub is the worst," He moaned, his voice muffled slightly as he pressed his face against the soft cushion.

    “Oh. How can I help?”

    “Maybe replace her or something," He joked tiredly, shrugging. A ghost of a smile played on his lips as he leaned against her as Nat wrapped an arm around his shoulders, squeezing him comfortingly.

    “Well, I can try," She joked (or so he thought) back. He cuddled against her side, yawning.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,300
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    370
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    3,266
  18. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Tony has kept the fact that he has a son a secret from the avengers for a long time.

    Too bad Peter ruins it by bumping into all of them on a quest for some cereal at 3 am.

    Spoiler alert: the cereal does not survive :(

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,696
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    6,215
    Bookmarks:
    481
    Hits:
    55,407
  19. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Peter gets kidnapped.

    God Tony feels bad for them.

    Or

    Peter annoys the hell out of his kidnappers. They do not have a good time

    PURE CRACK AND COMPLETE NONSENSE!!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,689
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    3,776
    Bookmarks:
    232
    Hits:
    31,538
  20. *

    Tags
    Summary

    He doesn't remember when his dislike and fear of spiders changed to adoration and love, but he's pretty sure it was after the spider bite. Tony thinks it's because of his mutation, Bruce is frustrated at the lack of scientific evidence, and Peter is just happy to have so many little friends.

    Or: spiders really like Peter, and he really likes them back

    (Do not read if you cannot handle spidery details, this is not the fic for you!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,947
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    16
    Comments:
    112
    Kudos:
    5,014
    Bookmarks:
    799
    Hits:
    28,531

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