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  1. *

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    Wade's laughing at something a pretty girl with long black hair and a tight dress is saying. His hand is curved around her hip, and her face is tucked against his ear. She’s whispering something that’s probably clever, funny, and sexy and is going to literally charm those tight pants right off him. Peter takes another burning sip of his drink, something strong that Wade had gotten him, and it’s gross, but it also burns in a way he needs because it dulls the twist in his stomach when he sees Wade with people who are actually capable of making a move on him.

    The girl is pressing a kiss against Wade’s cheek now, and he’s saying something that’s making her laugh. Peter takes another long drink. Of course, she’s laughing. Wade is immensely funny, not that Peter would ever tell him that. He’s also immensely arrogant and thinks he’s hot shit because he is and Peter wants him so, so bad. Too bad he’s not a hot girl, or a hot guy, just Wade’s weird nerdy college roommate whose been crushing on him for three years.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,386
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    100
    Kudos:
    1,648
    Bookmarks:
    225
    Hits:
    18,328
  2. 19

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    The phalloplasty tag doesn't have nearly enough content, and most of it is of fandoms I don't go to. Someone had to fix this and apparently it's going to be me.

    Here's some fluffy nonsense about post-phallo Peter Parker and trans-ally Wade Wilson getting together and (eventually) getting lucky.

    "Between relatively stable finances, his solid friendship with Deadpool, and a general lack of world ending crises in the last few months, it is high time for the Parker luck to pull the rug out from under Peter. And that’s why he’s not going to ask Deadpool out on a date. No matter how much he wants to. He’s not going to. Definitely not.

    Peter really sucks at doing what’s good for him sometimes."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,758
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    203
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    3,320
  3. 73

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    “You feel so deep,” Peter whines, and he usually tries to control his voice so that he’s not doing that, because he hates when he sounds that way, but he’s slipping. Wade feels too good, and he knows he’s safe; he can let loose.

    The grin that Wade gives him has Peter shaking slightly. Sinister in a playful way. Not too smug, but promising. “Oh yeah?”

    Peter’s breath leaves him when Wade thrusts in harder and circles his hips firmly against Peter’s own. And when he draws back, it's slower, but his hips move further before he’s shoving in again. Languid, with a bit more force and the added grind of their hips together gets the desired effect they’re both after.

    “Fucking God, Wade,”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,958
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    628
    Bookmarks:
    73
    Hits:
    11,159
  4. *

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    If he’s being honest, the second he decided he wasn’t going to go to the ER, he knew he’d be calling Wade. He’s done disgusting favors for Wade before, like collecting his scattered body parts and putting them back together. He’s reached his fingers into various cavities in Wade’s body to remove shrapnel and bullets and glass and all manner of things so that Wade wouldn’t have to heal around it.

    And, really, digging through your friend’s blood and guts is more disgusting than digging through their ass, right? If anything, Wade owes him this.

    Or: Peter gets a vibrator stuck in his ass. He calls Wade to help him get it out.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,631
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    173
    Kudos:
    5,481
    Bookmarks:
    414
    Hits:
    62,029
  5. *

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    "Adverse Possession is....legal doctrine that allows a person to claim ownership of land that belongs to someone else."

    Peter's curious about prostates. Wade offers his (and everything else) up for experimentation.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,518
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    830
    Bookmarks:
    133
    Hits:
    7,784
  6. *

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    “Like, when you….” Peter swallows. “…when you masturbate. How do you do it?”

    “Have you never jerked off before?”

    He’s definitely bright red. “I have! I’m just not, uh, good at it.”

    “You never come?”

    peter can't get off. wade helps with that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,949
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    1,607
    Bookmarks:
    230
    Hits:
    20,832
  7. *

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    Spiderman owes Deadpool a sleepover. They head back to Pool's place and Peter and Wade end up doing more than just playing Mario Kart.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,752
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    1,574
    Bookmarks:
    114
    Hits:
    21,429
  8. *

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    "Wanna see it?"

    Peter’s head snaps up. "... You'd let me look?"

    "Don't see why not. What've I got to lose? My dignity?"
    -

    Or, the phallo fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,593
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    1,757
    Bookmarks:
    235
    Hits:
    13,842
  9. *

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    Peter gets held at gunpoint on the subway and that's only the first time he runs into Deadpool

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,906
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    192
    Kudos:
    1,721
    Bookmarks:
    240
    Hits:
    21,057
  10. 87

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    Peter never meant to be an influencer. He likes to view content, not be the content.
    Is it any surprise that MJ is the reason he’s in this predicament?
    All it takes is one incident with his old bully, Flash, and Peter ends up all over the internet.
    Six years later, he’s tiktok’s darling as both Peter Parker and Spiderman and it leads to Deadpool stalking him a bit. Peter’s not sure if the mercenary is after him for nefarious reasons or if he’s just interested, but he tries his hand at flirting, just for fun

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,242
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    592
    Bookmarks:
    87
    Hits:
    5,571
  11. 45

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    A casual Halloween sleepover that Peter and Wade have been planning for weeks turns into a night of everyone worshipping their favorite person: Peter
    If you asked Peter, he wouldn't be able to tell you how he ended up here, in Wade's lap with his two best friends and ex-lovers on either side, teaching Wade all his secret pleasures
    He blames the horror movies

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,212
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    305
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    6,991
  12. *

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    “God, why did you have to see that? Ten minutes longer, that’s all I needed and none of this would’ve had to happen.” the man groaned into his hands and Peter couldn’t help his confusion as the man paced back and forth, seemingly arguing with himself before he was suddenly dropping his hands from his face and turning to face Peter, lowering into a crouch in front of him.

    “Okay, here’s how this is gonna go baby boy,” the man started, “You were not supposed to see that –”

    “- No shit!!” Peter interrupted and the man huffed.

    But, there's nothing we can do to change that now. Damage was done, you’re a witness now, a cute little one at that– that I can’t really let go because you’ve seen my face and I’m not about to chase your fine ass back to a police station.” the man told him.

    -

    After Peter witnesses a murder in the alleyway beside the coffee shop he works at one night, he gets dragged into Wade's criminal activities as a hostage that soon turns into more than attempting to escape at any given moment Peter gets, and some tricky feelings are developed on the way, creating more conflicts between the unlikely pair.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,491
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    1,092
    Bookmarks:
    209
    Hits:
    17,215
  13. 39

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    “Ugh, you are unfairly hot,” he grumbles, leaning up against Derek’s back and kissing his shoulder blade. “I just had to sit through an hour of calculus, I am not prepared for this.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,309
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    905
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    11,152
  14. 36

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    He almost desperately wants to say yes to Stiles’ offer of a date, but. “Do you really think you can handle dating a trans guy, though? You seemed pretty freaked out when I told you.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,640
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    904
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    7,843
  15. 70

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    He looks at the situation with Derek from every possible angle, gathers as much information as he can, and eventually realizes—nothing’s really changed. Finding out Derek is trans was a surprise, but it doesn’t actually change Stiles’ interest in him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,051
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    87
    Kudos:
    1,085
    Bookmarks:
    70
    Hits:
    8,784
  16. *

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    New York is in the middle of a major heatwave and crime has slowed to a crawl, leaving Peter with nothing to do but bake on a hot roof. Good thing Deadpool brought popsicles!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,634
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    3,718
    Bookmarks:
    369
    Hits:
    37,212
  17. *

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    Summary

    "Most times when somebody sees their husband in a fucking thong shop they assume he’s cheating on them.”

    Castiel blinks. “But… You’re not cheating on me…”

    “I know I’m not cheating on you.”

    “Which is why I assumed you were buying clothes for Eileen.”

    Dean swears under his breath and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Look- Let’s just- Let’s forget this even happened, okay?” Even though it’s phrased as a question, Castiel understands it as closer to the command that it actually is.

    But Castiel doesn’t want to forget this happened. Something is awkward and lingering in the air between them, in the way that Dean shifts from foot to foot and won’t meet Castiel’s eyes. And if Dean wasn’t shopping for Eileen, and he wasn’t shopping for another woman… The options for who was being shopped for are dwindling by the second.

    Dean’s face is still pink. Castiel’s heart squeezes tight and forces itself up into his sternum.

    “You were… shopping for yourself,” he says lowly.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,513
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    129
    Kudos:
    1,884
    Bookmarks:
    410
    Hits:
    29,066
  18. 24

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    Spencer's never been the best at letting people in, that's no secret, but maybe it's time for him to start trusting more and start fearing less.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,192
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    219
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    2,069
  19. 95

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    Derek Morgan likes to listen to Spencer Reid talk, even if he doesn’t care one bit about what he’s talking about.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,371
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    805
    Bookmarks:
    95
    Hits:
    10,316
  20. *

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    The worst thing about having the flu when you were essentially half spider was that the fever became like ten times worse.

    No, scratch that. The worst thing was looking out your window and seeing Deadpool sitting there like an oversized cat, eagerly asking if Peter could come out and play, and wanting nothing but to beg him to come inside and care for his sick friend-lover-vigilante partner. But how could Peter do that when they were supposed to be simply fucking for stress relief, not actually stick around for the truly intimate parts?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,219
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    2,226
    Bookmarks:
    250
    Hits:
    22,310

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