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    ”C’mon Al, it’s been too long since you’ve slept-“ Lucifer braces his hands on the arm rests of his chair, preparing to stand, when suddenly Alastor pushes him back down into the cushion.

    Lucifer sits with a thump, his brow raising in confusion. “Al?”

    Alastor doesn’t reply. Instead, he turns and swiftly seats himself on the floor at Lucifer’s feet, his back pressed against Lucifer’s legs, his head leaning back onto his knees.

     

     

    Well, this is new.

    Or: In which Alastor likes having his ears scratched

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    19 Apr 2026

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    After the final battle Harry learns some unsettling truths about himself and those who he trusts the most. Forced to come to terms with the revelations, Harry decides to get even with those who've wronged him and embrace who he his by going back to when it all started.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    323,753
    Chapters:
    52/52
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    19 Nov 2019

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    Harry and Tom are soulmates. Soulmates cannot live without each other and after Dumbledore tricks Harry into killing his own soulmate Harry decides that his final **** you to the old manipulator will be to time travel and not only save Tom but also utterly destroy Dumbles in the process.

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “So, Rosie.” Alastor straightened himself in his seat, taking his teacup and indulging in a sip. “Now that you’ve heard the tale, I come to you for advice on what to do with our little serpentine king. Please, enlighten me: why is Lucifer Morningstar acting so strangely around me?”

    Rosie took a deep breath and set her cup on its saucer. “How’s the tea, darling?” she asked, hands folded on her lap.

    Alastor blinked once, then twice. “Why, it’s lovely, as per usual.”

    Rosie smiled sweetly. “Good. Not too bitter?”

    “Not at all.”

    “And how’re the fingers, dear? They taste alright?”

    “They’re simply delightful.”

    “Is your chair nice and comfortable?”

    “The comfiest.”

    “You’re all relaxed?”

    “I’ve never felt so at home.”

    “Lucifer is in love with you.”

    Alastor spat out the tea he’d been drinking, which was quickly followed by a round of coughing so harsh you would think he was actively dying.

    Alastor has a chat with Rosie regarding Lucifer’s odd behavior.

    Rosie finds it all quite amusing.

    Alastor does not.

    Language:
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    4/4
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    09 Apr 2026

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    Lucifer knew what happened. He knew it the second he laid eyes on Alastor while stuck in that godawful fish-bowl trap that Vox had concocted.

    Language:
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    5,702
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    04 Apr 2026

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    Alastor can admit, in the silence of his own head as he walks away from the first official overlord meeting since the Extermination Day that Wasn’t, that Charlie MIGHT have been right. He probably should have stayed home.

    Not that he’d tell the girl that under pain of torture - that kind of hand-wringing and fretting wasn’t the sort of thing that should be encouraged in anyone, least of all the Princess of Hell.

    Series
    Language:
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    Words:
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    Chapters:
    40/40
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    03 Apr 2026

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    this is sides-aching wheezing-laughter level funny at regular intervals, an also occasionally really Really sad