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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Bilbo Baggins doesn't fit in in the Shire. He's not a normal hobbit. That doesn't bother him.

    Having his warnings ignored? Trying to help those who will not help themselves?

    That bothers him.

     

    Updated 6/12/19 with post-Epilogue 'one-shot' chapter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    211,687
    Chapters:
    54/54
    Collections:
    18
    Comments:
    3,475
    Kudos:
    6,672
    Bookmarks:
    2,641
    Hits:
    201,317

    28 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Bilbo interrupts an argument between Bombur and Dwalin to explain the hobbit approach to ancestral weaponry, and the insanity of more or less the entire Took line.

    Or: why frying pans are a hobbit's weapon of choice.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    898
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    15
    Comments:
    216
    Kudos:
    7,825
    Bookmarks:
    2,001
    Hits:
    64,680

    28 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Bilbo Baggins, the newly appointed Master of Bag End, has just reached his majority. He lives alone in his fine house, managing his estate, and ignoring the people of Hobbiton as much as they avoid him. When a storm lands him with an unexpected (and unwelcome) little visitor, all Bilbo wants to do is find the baby Dwarf's missing family so he can get back to his own life.

    That's not what happens.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,489
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    12
    Comments:
    691
    Kudos:
    9,732
    Bookmarks:
    3,121
    Hits:
    85,343

    28 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 2

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    Summary

    Bilbo learns that even from a distance, Dwalin is always watching — and that care does not need to be loud to be steady.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    521
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    66

    26 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 99

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    Summary

    It was sheer chance when Bilbo thought back on it. What if he’d stayed home? What if someone else had run up the lane before him?

    But it was him. It was him and it was Kíli, and Bilbo wouldn’t change it for the world.

    *

    Long ago, a dwarf child was lost and found in a storm by Bilbo Baggins. He has no idea where his young ward came from; all attempts to find Kíli's family failed. Sticking together, they make do and it's a peaceful life.

    Until Gandalf arrives with talk of adventure. Until the Company of Thorin Oakenshield arrives on their doostep.

    Or: Kíli's a missing prince. Bilbo's not about to let his (son) ward face a dragon without him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,919
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    226
    Kudos:
    384
    Bookmarks:
    99
    Hits:
    3,432

    22 Feb 2026

  6. Public Bookmark 26

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    Summary

    bilbo's family visits him in erebor and they find out how the dwarfs treated him during the journey. they aren't happy

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,085
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    176
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    1,117

    22 Feb 2026

  7. Public Bookmark 51

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    Summary

    The golden lamps of the royal dining hall cast a warm, amber glow over the table, but the atmosphere in the corridors of Erebor was far from peaceful. For months, a low-level murmur of dissent had been brewing in the darker corners of the mountain. Most of the kingdom adored their Hobbit Consort, the "Luck-wearer" who had helped reclaim their home. But one particular nobleman, Lord Bruni, a traditionalist with a heart as cold as the stone he mined, could not stand the sight of a Halfling wearing a crown of Mithril. To him, Bilbo Baggins was a soft, power-hungry intruder who had bewitched the King.

    Bruni had decided that the "Hobbit problem" required a permanent solution. He hadn't just used a drop of poison; he had used enough to fell a dragon.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,373
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    375
    Bookmarks:
    51
    Hits:
    1,492

    22 Feb 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    During the Battle of the Five Armies, Bilbo dies. On the other side, he's met by the Essence of the Universe - and they are not pleased with this turn of events. Deciding to send Bilbo back, they give him two advantages: knowledge, and strength.

    Bilbo is born as a dragon of the First Age with all the memories of the hobbit Bilbo Baggins. First, he has to survive several thousand years as a dragon... and then, when he's finally a hobbit again, he has to deal with keeping his identity secret while traveling with the Company of thirteen dwarves. With guilt eating him up and worry of the future gnawing at his bones, Bilbo sets off for the March of Erebor. He can only hope he won't fall for a certain dwarven king on his way there... again.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,727
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    11
    Comments:
    261
    Kudos:
    3,575
    Bookmarks:
    866
    Hits:
    49,833

    20 Feb 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    When Bilbo puts himself between Thorin and Azog's blade, his mithril shirt protecting them both, it isn't long before some dwarves whisper that 'Oakenshield' might not be the best epithet for their king anymore. But for Bilbo, barred from Thorin's sight since the battle, this new epithet only adds to the sting. Spending his days caring for the recovering princes, Bilbo wonders how much more of this he can take, not suspecting his place at the center of a silent divide in the company.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,011
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    468
    Kudos:
    16,347
    Bookmarks:
    3,118
    Hits:
    195,329

    20 Feb 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Hobbits rub noses to greet each other - a fact the dwarves don't know until they arrive in Rivendell and Elrond greets a surprised Bilbo by rubbing their noses together. Some of the company find it quite amusing, but Thorin is less than pleased. Fluff! Fill for the Hobbit Kink Meme.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,424
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    105
    Kudos:
    8,224
    Bookmarks:
    1,209
    Hits:
    95,603

    19 Feb 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “What weapon do you prefer? Ax or sword?”

    “Accidents”, was Bilbo’s bland reply. “Preferably about a month after the initial confrontation if they haven’t apologized yet. It helps allay suspicion.”

    Tomatoes used to be considered both poisonous and an aphrodisiac. Idea- it is impossible to poison a hobbit with anything less than a morgul blade. Discuss the Company’s reaction to watching Bilbo eat ‘poisonous’ things. Extra credit if dwarves actually believe salad will kill them.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,028
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    253
    Kudos:
    8,803
    Bookmarks:
    1,490
    Hits:
    71,405

    18 Feb 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    After the last near "tragedy" (or so the dwarves are calling it, Bilbo's about done with them), Bilbo doesn't cut his hair and instead lets it go long. Except now, now he's almost home, his dwarves insisting on escorting him back, and he's got long hair he doesn't know what to do with.

    When Thorin offers to braid his hair, Bilbo reluctantly agrees, if just to have something to remember the dwarf by.

    Except it doesn't do Thorin any favors. Bilbo was already attractive enough, and now there are braids. In his hair.

    And if Fili and Kili don't stop snickering, Thorin's content to return to Erebor without his heirs.

    Prompt fic. One-shot. Sort of.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,102
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    174
    Kudos:
    9,210
    Bookmarks:
    1,490
    Hits:
    113,660

    18 Feb 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “It’s got such a presence to it, even from a distance,” Bilbo says softly, and there’s a general murmur of awed agreement from the others. “Why, in all my fifty years, I never thought I’d see such a thing, and we haven’t even arrived yet!”

    Thorin’s sword hits the ground with a clatter, and Balin chokes on his pipe.

    The hobbit doesn’t look at Thorin, too busy thumping Balin on the back. Once the dwarf seems able to breathe again, he looks up, to find thirteen wide pairs of eyes fixed on him.

    “What?” he says defensively, though he’s not sure what he’s defending.

    “You’re how old?” Kíli squeaks.

    Bilbo frowns at the young dwarf. “I’m fifty years old. Well, fifty-one, come springtime. Though it is not very polite to ask someone their age so bluntly,” he tells him primly.

    Fíli makes a choked sound, and Nori lets out a vicious string of swears in Khuzdul.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,683
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    13
    Comments:
    188
    Kudos:
    11,678
    Bookmarks:
    1,739
    Hits:
    103,327

    18 Feb 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    After a heavy dose of dwarvish medicine, Thorin falls for his intended all over again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,762
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    181
    Kudos:
    11,813
    Bookmarks:
    1,648
    Hits:
    87,535

    18 Feb 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “You have a tiny Hobbit,” Fíli said, sounding astonished. “Why do you have a tiny Hobbit?” Kíli asked, his voice suspicious. “Did you get married?” asked Fíli, now sounding worried. “This is not good,” Kíli muttered, with twice the worry as Fíli. “Uncle, why are they staring at you?” Frodo asked, his voice confused.
    Bilbo fled Erebor before his friends could be buried, before he had to see Thorin encased in stone. He returns to the Shire and settles into a life of unsociability and some amount of loneliness, but finds comfort in the figures of the children of Hobbiton.
    After twenty years, however, his luck is gone, and Bilbo has to flee the Shire with Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, and with four very young Hobbits, there is only one place he can turn to.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,598
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    13
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    12,127
    Bookmarks:
    1,577
    Hits:
    128,639

    18 Feb 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Written for the Hobbit kink meme.

    In a Middle Earth where dwarves dream of Heartsongs and hobbits carry the name of their fated partner as private Mark, Bilbo Baggins had never been able to properly translate the strange rows of runes inscribed on his wrist.

    And likewise, Thorin Oakenshield had never imagined he would hear the voice of his Heartsong from a fussy little gentlehobbit.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,751
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    576
    Kudos:
    14,137
    Bookmarks:
    3,213
    Hits:
    299,686

    18 Feb 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    There's a certain point where you can no longer ask someone what their name is. Thorin isn't sure exactly when that point is, but he knows that it's probably some time before the person in question saves your life. On the far side of the Misty Mountains, Thorin realizes that he never quite caught the first part of Mr. Baggins' name, and he finds that it's astonishingly harder to learn than he would have thought. Fili, Kili, and Dwalin are no help whatsoever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,756
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    17
    Comments:
    701
    Kudos:
    14,658
    Bookmarks:
    4,135
    Hits:
    110,985

    18 Feb 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "It's just a cold," Gandalf says the following morning when Bilbo wakes up feeling completely under the weather, "a few days rest in bed will do you good, dear fellow."

    Or, the one where Bilbo has a cold and everyone thinks he's dying.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,855
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    265
    Kudos:
    15,280
    Bookmarks:
    3,305
    Hits:
    162,764

    18 Feb 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Bilbo Baggins arrived home late one afternoon in the middle of the week and the entire west Farthing is still talking about it.

    Poor Mister Baggins. He was doomed to be a nine-days wonder no matter what and is it any wonder after a year-long adventure? Even the Tooks haven’t the influence to hush that up, but Mad Baggins seems to have managed to silence every tongue in the Shire on that subject which would be awe-inspiring ...if not for the way he decided to go about it.

    OR: That one where Middle Earth seems to be unclear about where baby Hobbits come from.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,721
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    29
    Comments:
    790
    Kudos:
    15,159
    Bookmarks:
    3,627
    Hits:
    310,538

    18 Feb 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The Company shows their affection for Bilbo in accordance with dwarvish tradition. Bilbo... has no idea why everyone keeps giving him gifts.

    (Dwarves give gifts of craft to start friendships or romance. Everybody lives AU, canon-compliant through the first movie.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,983
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    16
    Comments:
    466
    Kudos:
    20,975
    Bookmarks:
    6,243
    Hits:
    198,436

    18 Feb 2026

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