Procrazedfan
Fandoms
- Metalocalypse (Cartoon) (13)
- Original Work (2)
- Moral Orel (1)
- Dragon Ball (1)
- Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016) (1)
Recent works
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Prideklok (How Murderface Discovered the Meaning of Pride) by Procrazedfan
Fandoms: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
23 Jun 2025
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Summary
After an unfortunate candid photo circulates the press, William Murderface finds himself suddenly accepted by the gay community, and is asked to speak at their next Pride parade. The rest of the boys dabble in corporate capitalism. This year's pride is about to be brutal.
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Summary
What better way for Dethklok’s bastard children and relatives to spend a Merry Christmas than a visit with their grandparents.
A Winter Wonderklok series of stories for each Dethkid in Mourningstar/and Dethgrandparent.
(Post Valley, Pre Seeds)
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Summary
The Rebirth of the High Holy Priest Reaque Dannik
If you want a fic that can either exist as a standalone canon expansionist view of Salacia's origins, The Tribunal, and the Church of the Black Klok, or as one of the many threads of the interwoven pieces I am sticking into my current set of Fatherklok stories, you can enjoy it either way.
Series
- Part 1 of ValleyVerse Apocrypha
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Summary
In the late 2000- Early 2010s we had a little show that changed our lives with tons of unanswered questions regarding a zany world that worshipped a deathmetal band. In the era of screencaps and a professionally crazed fan, here are the relevant news articles, and paper scraps that tipped off the audience about the lore, worldbuilding, and ever growing power of the tribunal.
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William Murderface's second cousin comes to stay at Mordhaus. Chaos Ensues.
Recent series
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- Words:
- 52,504
- Works:
- 5
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- 5,263
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- 1
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- Words:
- 1,870
- Works:
- 1
Recent bookmarks
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How To Train Your Waterboy by GreatBigBuffoon (24bughours)
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)
16 Jan 2026
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Summary
Robert and Blonde Blazer give Flambae the most torturous, evil, malicious new assignment they could possibly conceive: They are forcing him to spend more time around Waterboy.
Or
Flambae becomes Waterboy’s personal trainer, and they are both completely normal about it.
Bookmarked by Procrazedfan
16 Jan 2026
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Summary
When a minor villain’s power goes catastrophically wrong, Waterboy is reduced to a very small, very wet baby. Somehow, the responsibility of taking care of him falls into Robert.
Along the way, Robert begins to uncover pieces of Herman’s life he's never known before. (And maybe fall in love at the end?)
Bookmarked by Procrazedfan
08 Jan 2026
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Summary
The Z-Team has been sent out on a mission that requires them to stay at a hotel for a night. After the mission goes successfully, they retire to the hotels bar to celebrate and relax. By happenstance, Waterboy meets and befriends an older woman there who gives him inspiring and kind words. The woman, one Doctor Sarala Devi, is already taken with Waterboy and wishes to be alone and intimate with him. But after risking her own safety to stand up for him against his abusive teammates, she’s all the more eager to pamper him with the love and affection he’d clearly been denied throughout his life.
Bookmarked by Procrazedfan
28 Dec 2025
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Summary
Invisigal accidentally outs Robert as Mechaman in what she thinks is a private conversation with Blonde Blazer, not realizing that Flambae is close enough to overhear her.
Struggling to control his horrible temper, Chad goes to the gym to blow off steam and think…where he finds Robert trapped under the weights.
*
Breathe. Count to ten. You’re not a villain anymore…you’re a good man, and you can do good things.
“Ask me to stop,” Chad breathed, the muscles of his arms quivering under the powerful desire to end Mechaman right there in the headquarters. He needed something else, someone else to step in, but they were completely alone. Even the janitors had gone home. “No, beg me to stop.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 109,206
- Chapters:
- 18/19
- Comments:
- 890
- Kudos:
- 3,569
- Bookmarks:
- 551
- Hits:
- 73,308
Bookmarked by Procrazedfan
12 Dec 2025
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Summary
Robert rubbed his temples. "Alright, polyamory. But how does that work, exactly?"
Malevola sighed, then leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Alright, dumbass. Basic breakdown. Communication. Honesty. Boundaries."
"But like. I don't get it. You just get to...date and fuck whoever?"
"You're thinking way too black and white, idiot."
Sonar sighed. "That'd be the dream though. Infinite puss."
Malevola ignored him. "It's a lot more complicated than monogamous relationships. It's all about needs, desires, insecurities."
"But people are different. What if it doesn't match up?"
"Then you talk it out. Figure out compromises. Decide if you can meet those needs—or if you aren't compatible."
Robert stared at his phone. His thumb brushed over the background; Visi holding Beef.
"So. Now that we've educated you, what are you gonna do?"
"...I don't know."
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Or, how the Z-Team became a kitchen table polycule.
Series
- Part 1 of Kitchen Table HR Violation
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 97,276
- Chapters:
- 29/?
- Comments:
- 894
- Kudos:
- 1,830
- Bookmarks:
- 386
- Hits:
- 40,298
Bookmarked by Procrazedfan
09 Dec 2025