Rennfri
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“Yeah, this is not what Val is doing,” Vox says, gesturing to the foot of space between them. Alastor has to snicker to himself again. “…unless?”
Vox performs a miraculous recovery from emotional turmoil to open lasciviousness. Alastor doesn’t know why he’s at all surprised.
“I’m not going to fuck you,” Alastor says bluntly.
“Technically not what Angel Dust is doing.”
Alastor smiles sheer incredulity across the bedspread until Vox tries again.
“Fine, we don’t have to do that,” Vox says, still creeping forward. Alastor heaves an open sigh—frankly, he’s a bit theatrical about it. It does little to deter Vox from coming to straddle him again.
Nor to reach between his wrists, and—
Fuck. He’d almost forgotten about that. Vox’s claws pluck at their deal chain, suddenly heavy and tangible where it hangs like manacles from his wrists.
“But you did mention something about this, the other day,” Vox croons, in a tone that Alastor has heard him use with Valentino several times. “Want to play ‘contract?’”
(In which Vox and Alastor spend some quality time together, Angel Dust is circled by sharks, and Rosie haunts the narrative. Set in S2E6.)
Series
- Part 7 of They Could Have Been Worse
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“I know, it takes a second,” Vox is saying. “Val said it felt like kissing a mirror, the first time—and yeah, I did ask him if he kissed a lot of mirrors.”
He just keeps talking, as if Alastor hasn’t just gotten the shock of his afterlife. As if it weren’t out of absolutely nowhere.
“It’s some kind of good luck ritual with a lipstick mark he used to do before his shows,” Vox carries on, as if he hasn’t noticed or simply doesn’t care that Alastor is—that Alastor doesn’t know what he is, in fact. “Maybe it worked. Hell, look where he is now.”
Alastor grapples for a grip on anything. Anything at all. What his overtaxed mind gives him, as Vox reaches out to cup a hand around his face, is this:
Vox is nervous.
He’s rambling like Charlie losing her spot in a set of talking points and he’s gripping one of the armrests like an anchor. And he’s glowing; there’s a bit of cyan beneath his eyes.
Well, fuck. What the Hell is Alastor expected to do about that?
(In which Vox makes an attempt at romance, Alastor weathers a series of foul moods, and Charlie has a terrible day.)
Series
- Part 6 of They Could Have Been Worse
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I flip the television off / Turn the radio up loud by Rennfri
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
01 Jan 2026
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“You know,” Valentino says, eyeing Alastor with unveiled interest from the couch. Alastor feels deep nostalgia for the days when Valentino was prone to cringe away from him like a girl spotting a spider she was scared to kill. “It’s all hot-swappable.”
It’s almost guaranteed that Alastor doesn’t want to know what that means. But only almost, and curiosity nags.
“Pardon?”
“His dick,” Valentino says casually, and through great personal restraint Alastor does not press his hands into his temples. “He’d probably be into it if you wanted to keep it in your purse.”
--
(In which Alastor takes a suggestion from Valentino, to great effect. An optional, porny installment directly following the events of Here's the Reigns.)
Series
- Part 4 of They Could Have Been Worse
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“Vox,” Alastor says, with saintlike patience. He may as well practice, given how much he’s obviously going to need it imminently. “I really do think that you should, at a minimum, bring flowers.”
“She’s a high-powered businesswoman,” Vox dismisses. “I know you’re old-fashioned, Al, but Velvette’s right. Powerful women don’t actually like being treated like a hot date you can bribe with flowers and chocolates.”
God help them all. No, really. Is it too late to start praying?
“This is a terrible time for your feminist awakening,” Alastor snaps. “You said it yourself—Rosie is my dearest friend. And as bribes go, she likes roses.”
Vox narrows his eyes at Alastor with actual hurt in them. Oh, what now.
“I can’t believe you’re actually admitting it,” he says.
---
(In his grand campaign to win the favor of every major Overlord, Vox may have met his match with Rosie. Good thing he has his old pal Alastor to help!)
Series
- Part 5 of They Could Have Been Worse
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“Anyways, nothing about Alastor gives ‘maternal,’” Velvette says after a while. Alastor glances over his shoulder from the stove to find her in the barstool beside Valentino’s, now, with her feet propped in his lap. “You’re the mom. I’m obviously the cool aunt. And Vox is our deadbeat husband.”
Alastor snickers at the stove.
“So like, does that make the Radio Demon our kid?” Valentino asks, squinting as he strains the metaphor.
“I dunno—good thing there’s no CPS in Hell.”
Alastor openly snorts.
(The Vees have dinner together like a fucking family, Valentino takes Alastor on a field trip, and Alastor and Vox do some light and friendly bonding activities. Set in approximately S2E6.)
Series
- Part 3 of They Could Have Been Worse
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Overlord Vox, established member (read: leader) of the Vees, is kind of obsessed with this guy that's been catching a lot of media attention up top! What can he say? He really appreciates an artist! But when he finds out that his favorite true crime podcaster has been knocked off the mortal coil, the irony is just too much!
He knows what they say about meeting your heroes, but…simping for serial killers, it’s not like the guy ended up in heaven, so what’s truly stopping Vox from rolling out the red carpet and giving a warm welcome to the one newcomer to hell that really deserves it?
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Bookmarked by Rennfri
01 Jan 2026
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The closest Alastor's ever gotten to romance comes in the form of—in order of increasing hilariousness—a couple of botched youthful attempts at kissing, cheap mass-produced smut comics, and the wildly entertaining tales of other people's sordid affairs.
He's never wanted sex. He's never wanted love. He's never seen a problem with this.
It's taken about a century, but he's pleasantly surprised to discover that the rest of the world is finally starting to catch up with his perspective.
More than anything else, he’s pleased that these new modern attitudes have given him extra opportunities for bad puns.
- Language:
- English
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- 13,730
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- 1/1
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- 3,756
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Bookmarked by Rennfri
18 Nov 2025
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In the late fifties, Rosie finds an odd TV-headed fellow trying to take his own face apart on the outskirts of Cannibal Town. Introducing him to Alastor is her first mistake. Falling in love with them both is her second.
Series
- Part 1 of meteor shower
- Language:
- English
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- 15,297
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- 1/1
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- 158
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Bookmarked by Rennfri
01 Apr 2024
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It seems like while Alastor was off preying on the self-destructive addictions of desperate sinners, Vox was off getting himself beaten half to death, probably from spouting belligerent nonsense at someone with violent tendencies and a far lower threshold for disrespect than Alastor. Not everyone finds poor Vox’s chatter as charming as he does.
If Vox is unconscious, then Vox is not being entertaining, and Alastor came here to have fun, not play nursemaid.
Or: Drunk on power and itching to cause some mayhem, Alastor hunts down the only person in the city who's always up for anything. Unfortunately, he finds Vox... not exactly in tip-top shape. No matter; he can work with that too.
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- English
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- 6,063
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by Rennfri
01 Apr 2024
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VOX?! There's A Weird Fucking Cat Down Here! by soot_and_salt
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
06 Mar 2024
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Charlie insists on giving Alastor a key to the hotel.
It's not quite what Alastor expects.
And when it gets loose, it finds its way to V Tower...
(A fic about our new terrible overlord, Cursed Cat Alastor)
Bookmarked by Rennfri
29 Mar 2024