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Vampire Bats by Sohotthateveryonedied
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DC vs Vampires (DC Comics), DCU (Comics)
06 Apr 2022
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Despite the many, many obstacles, having his kids turn into vampires isn’t as tragic as Bruce anticipated it would be. Whenever one of them is grounded, all Bruce has to do is hang a cross on their door and they’re sufficiently contained. And the energy boost has been incredibly helpful on patrols.
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As the door opened Tim quickly disabled another three separate electronic sensors in the doorjamb by swiping them with a device that looked a bit like a thumb drive. “Walk where I walk,” he said.
He took a big step over the doormat, eyed the floor carefully, then took a careful skipped sidestep to another mat against the right-hand wall, where he removed his shoes.
“What the hell?” whispered Jason, still standing in the open doorway.
Tim pointed up. There was a net rigged up on the ceiling. “Pressure pads under the carpet.”
“I repeat, what the hell?”
After Tim completely derails Jason’s beatdown attempt by asking him for a hug, Jason’s first priority is to get this touch-starved kid more cuddles. Tim’s first priority is to avoid Dick’s traps.
Jason learns a lot about his brothers and what happened while he was away, and something about himself too.
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There never was a Jason.
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Bruce Wayne is very popular at parties. Bruce Wayne always has an alibi. These two things are related, and only sometimes on purpose.
Series
- Part 16 of Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts
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startouched by DragonflyxParodies
Fandoms: DCU (Comics), DCU, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)
25 Sep 2023
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Earth is and always has been alive, and the creatures that call it home, call it mother, name it – Earth consumes their existence. This is not a thing beyond time; for the life clinging to its flesh, Earth is and always has been – all of time, all of existence, condensed into the eyes green as its heart of the boy it loved more than any other.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 805
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 43
- Kudos:
- 587
- Bookmarks:
- 156
- Hits:
- 3,092
Bookmarked by SEP_Fields
03 Dec 2023
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Detainment by DragonflyxParodies
Fandoms: The Batman (Movie 2022), Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020), Smallville
26 Aug 2022
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“Do you beat your children?” Bruce asks, voice flat and odd in a way unlike any Hal has ever heard before, and Hal’s blood runs cold, and –
Other Batman’s jaw clenches. He does not answer immediately.
The whole fucking League visibly draws back.In which Bat has instituted very strict measures for handling alternate versions of himself, and the Justice League finds out why.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,679
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 64
- Comments:
- 555
- Kudos:
- 15,589
- Bookmarks:
- 3,279
- Hits:
- 124,039
Bookmarked by SEP_Fields
03 Dec 2023
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Just Close Your Eyes by greeneyesandfingerstripes
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU
07 Mar 2022
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The thing about performers, he supposes, is that a good performer can always learn a new trick. He thinks it’s about time they retired this routine.
OR
Dick has grown tired of the game they continue to play with the Joker.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,885
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 41
- Kudos:
- 3,958
- Bookmarks:
- 573
- Hits:
- 23,591
Bookmarked by SEP_Fields
28 Oct 2023
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Paranoia by BoredomBeckons
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types
22 Oct 2023
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Batman trusts the newest Justice League recruit almost instantly.
This is so out of character, it makes the rest of the team suspicious.
Who is this Nightwing, and what is he up to?
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rinse and repeat by konan_konan for Pseudonymous_Elusa
Fandoms: DCU, Batman - All Media Types, The Flash - All Media Types
06 Jul 2024
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todd comma jason ☑ @jsntdd・4hr
this is the best day of my life. dick is way too much of a goody two shoes these days to even consider cheating on his boyfriend but holy shit did it make for interesting dinner conversation
138K Views | 529 Retweets | 72 Quote Tweets | 85K Likesollie queen love child @handlethis・3hr
↳ replying to @jsntdd
Since when do you go to family dinners?
77K Views | 122 Retweets | 13 Quote Tweets | 66K Likestodd comma jason ☑ @jsntdd・3hr
↳ replying to @handlethis
oh i make a point to show up whenever someone else is in trouble.
89.3K Views | 254 Retweets | 26 Quote Tweets | 71K Likesor: dick gets a kiss. twitter gets to do what it does best: make things worse.
Series
- Part 8 of batfam twitter shenanigans
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Wayne Enterprises ☑ @WayneEnterprises・4hr
No, we do not know the true identity of @batmanofficial. Please stop asking.
1.3M Views | 4,124 Retweets | 921 Quote Tweets | 702K Likesor: the aftermath of dick move.
Series
- Part 2 of batfam twitter shenanigans
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Dad...I’m Bilingual by Sohotthateveryonedied
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
20 Jun 2021
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Dick hums—a quiet, sleepy sound. He’s drifting, but only slightly. The painkillers are doing their job. “It’s dumb,” he says. “I can beat up bad guys an’ stop an apocalypse, but I can’t even tell my own dad I’m bilingual.”
Bruce just stares at him. Realization kicks in a moment later. “Do you mean bisexual?”
“Yeah, bionical.” He said that, didn’t he? Bruce must be getting slow in his old age.
Series
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When Dick and Jason get a rare peek into Tim's brain, Jason remembers why he stays out of other people's business. With his family, it inevitably ends in either life-threatening injury or Dick singing Disney songs. Sometimes both, if Dick doesn't dodge fast enough.
Meanwhile, Tim doesn't see what all the fuss is about. Which is basically the entire problem, as far as Jason's concerned.
Ugh. Jason is *concerned.*
Next time, he is so staying dead.
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You could’ve just called by Pauliestorylover
Fandoms: Danny Phantom, Justice League - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types
19 May 2023
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“You, Constantine.” Danny said, then paused. “You are John Constantine, right? Because if there’s another beat-up-looking British-adjacent guy with over a hundred claims on his soul working with the Justice League, I’m gonna be really concerned. You are? Okay, good. Then pray tell me, why in the name of all the Ancients did you think this is a good fucking idea?”
Danny gets summoned to deal with a ghost problem. He still thinks they could’ve just called him.
Series
- Part 7 of ecto (dannymay 2023)
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Everyone Do The STEM Kid Struggle! by emmacortana, tinkerslut for emmacortana, littered
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel, DCU, DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)
17 Mar 2022
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“I have a hypothesis,” Felicia says aloud, but Peter barely hears her.
“What’s that?” Steph asks, rolling her eyes at Tim.
Tim and Peter are sitting on the cafeteria table, staring at a notebook. On it are the notes of quantum entanglement, and they were trying to figure out the equations, and now they aren’t.
Felicia chuffs, clearly annoyed by them. “All men in STEM are weird,” she alleges. “Just really weird. Weird men in STEM. They have nothing behind their eyes and are ready to kill a bitch at any moment.”
A.K.A. Peter and friends are on their last fucking brain cells.
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A Series of Confusing Events by Backing_Into_Infinity
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, Superman (Comics), Batman (Comics)
18 Jun 2023
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Clark Kent has been having an unlucky few weeks. Nineteen food poisonings? Six Car accidents? You'd think he was a superhero or something, and not a mild-mannered journalist investigating lead pipes.
The CIA is also having an unlucky few weeks, because those weren't meant to be food poisonings. How do you miss point blank with a sedan?
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Even Batman has his Limits (or how the most well kept secret in the Justice League is revealed because of Lasagna) by Not_the_droid_youre_looking_for
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types
23 May 2020
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Bruce is tired. and done. and full of regrets. and missing Alfred. and tired. Why did he think adopting kids was a good idea?
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Fuck You, Let Me Go Home by KingJai
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Young Justice (Cartoon)
27 Apr 2023
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“Who are you?” Batman growls.
“You’re worst nightmare,” Steph growls back.
Dick nods, “Small children.”
“I’m taller than Bruce.”
“Are not.”
“Am too.”
“Baby.”
“I can bench press you Grayson.”
“Baby brother.”
Series
- Part 10 of Batman (Derogatory) and Robin (Affectionate)
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Tim has a concussion and Jason just wants things to stop going off-script.
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Royal Hot Potato by TorScrawls
Fandoms: Danny Phantom, Justice League - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types
30 Apr 2023
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The Justice League tries to summon the Ruler of the Infinite Realms to help them with a ghost problem. They expected Pariah Dark and were ready to do whatever they could to get him to agree to their terms. What they didn’t expect were two teenagers who juggled the title of Ruler of the Infinite Realms like a hot potato while snarking all the while.
Maybe Pariah dark would have been the better alternative.
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Dayshift Shadow Work by IzzyMRDB
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Batman and the Signal (Comics)
19 Oct 2022
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So, when he realised one day once he looked down that he was missing his shadow, the first thing he checked was to make sure he wasn’t also glowing. Can’t have a shadow if you’re the light source after all.
Nope, not glowing.
Weird.
AKA
Duke's shadow works like Peter Pan's and immediately chooses violenceSeries
- Part 34 of My slowly growing collection of One-shots