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Ms. Rey Palpatine, poet and youngest-ever recipient of the T.S. Eliot Prize, leaves London for a holiday to finish writing her third book at her family's estate, which she has inherited upon the death of her grandfather, outside Marlborough. The caretaker of the estate, a man called only Ben, does not speak to her.
She embarks on a journey of discovering herself, her past, and the secrets the estate holds in its very stones and earth.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 46,387
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 579
- Kudos:
- 861
- Bookmarks:
- 254
- Hits:
- 14,568
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
11 Feb 2026
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Draining Malfoy’s Vault by AMPAudiobooks, SilverDragonGemini
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Feb 2025
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Draco had told Hermione to get herself something nice for Valentine’s Day but hadn’t set any sort of limitations on what that entailed. Perhaps if she managed to spend enough money, she could get a rise out of Draco and finally get him to care about dissolving their marriage. What harm was there in taking out two birds with one very expensive stone?
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OR: Hermione’s plan to piss off Draco backfires terribly when her Ministry-appointed husband has an insatiable desire to watch his beloved wife spend his money any way she sees fit.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 228
- Kudos:
- 4,516
- Bookmarks:
- 999
- Hits:
- 61,874
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
06 Jun 2025
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She’d been distracted reading through the latest draft of her policy reform while walking toward the end of the queue in the Ministry refectory when suddenly she was no longer going forward but sideways and down. She yelped, scrabbling to catch herself before realizing that a pair of strong hands had already arrested her motion and she was sitting.
“Mind where you’re going, Granger,” came a teasing drawl and she realized instantly that she’d found herself back on Draco’s lap.
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Or, the five times Hermione unintentionally sat on Draco's lap, and the one time she meant to.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,531
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 291
- Kudos:
- 4,054
- Bookmarks:
- 1,082
- Hits:
- 92,762
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
24 May 2025
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The war against the Dark Lord continues on, but Hermione is stuck at Grimmauld Place with the world's most annoying house guest.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,704
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 106
- Kudos:
- 4,226
- Bookmarks:
- 594
- Hits:
- 62,797
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
21 May 2025
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“Why,” Hermione groaned, feeling her face go white-hot. Of all days?
She trudged on, giving a tight smile and praying for the earth to open up and swallow her whole. Because this was just perfect, wasn’t it? They looked objectively cool, while she (a grown twenty-seven year old) was dressed like a princess in the middle of the fucking day. She supposed it could be worse –how? She didn’t know.
AKA: the one where Hermione Granger (whilst dressed as a princess) meets biker Draco Malfoy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,642
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 326
- Kudos:
- 4,323
- Bookmarks:
- 1,444
- Hits:
- 75,225
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
05 May 2025
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“I think I’ve found something.”
Hermione dabs a napkin against her lips to hide her uneasiness.
“But?” She asks, knowing there must be one somewhere.
“But—“ He begins, voice cool and sterilized. “I’ve found it under what some might say is unorthodox means, and the potion comes with…more personal side effects.”
“What affects?” She asks.
“It’s said to remove inhibitions, to reduce those participating to more primal urges.”
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With only two months left to conceive otherwise they'll be forced to deal with the Wizengamot, Hermione and Draco turn to a less than ideal fertility potion.
The only problem? Hermione is fairly certain it won't work at all, because Draco clearly has no sort of desire for her in the first place.
Right?
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
26 Apr 2025
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Hermione has a good head on her shoulders, found wild professional success, and generally considers herself a badass.
So why can't she get over her best friend and his boyfriend?
And why do they keep showing up at her work?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,608
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 14
- Comments:
- 729
- Kudos:
- 4,213
- Bookmarks:
- 1,152
- Hits:
- 101,065
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
26 Apr 2025
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“Jesus,” he blurted. “What—?”
“Sorry, sorry,” she interrupted, closing her eyes and pressing a hand to her forehead. “I just…sorry, give me a second to clear my head.”
She refused to explain why the first thing he’d seen when entering her mind was a rather vivid recollection of her last masturbation session. How embarrassing. She thought about walking in a forest – the least sexy thing she could think of – and then doubled down by picturing herself in the Quidditch stands at Hogwarts. In the rain. In January.
“Okay.” She exhaled and met his eyes again. “Okay, it’s safe now. Go ahead.”
He looked dubious but raised his wand and spoke the incantation again.
---
Or, Hermione can't remember an important piece of intel and so Draco is assigned to help find it.
Series
- Part 1 of Try Not To Come
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,420
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 299
- Kudos:
- 5,233
- Bookmarks:
- 1,112
- Hits:
- 87,131
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
21 Apr 2025
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Baby, Any Time You’re Ready, I’m Waiting by Zeebee3
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
25 Apr 2023
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Summary
“Alright,” said Pansy. “Then we’re still stuck. How do we divide three rooms between three girls and three boys?”
“You share with Ginny. Blaise shares with Ron. And then Draco and I can share,” said Hermione easily, scrolling through the phone at the rest of the property images.
Pansy’s attention snapped to Draco so fast, he almost jolted at the impact of it.
“Oh?” She said with pointed interest. Draco shook his head minutely at her and her brows shot up. She turned back to Hermione.
“Why you and Draco, Hermione?”
“Well it’s such a lovely house, it’d be a shame to pass it up just because of sleeping arrangements.” She glanced up, perhaps sensing the underlying emphasis in Pansy’s question, and met his eyes. “You don’t mind, do you Draco? Or I could share with Ron if you’d rather be with Blaise?”
“Don’t mind a bit.” He sipped his tea, the picture of nonchalance.
———
Or where Hermione thinks she and Draco are “just good friends” but he’s secretly in love.
Series
- Part 1 of Any Time You're Ready Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,055
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 558
- Kudos:
- 5,646
- Bookmarks:
- 1,713
- Hits:
- 177,711
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
21 Apr 2025
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Summary
Hermione had been raised with the belief that a woman should never rely on the help of a man, that her independence was the most important part of her.
But eventually, things changed.
Where once she was determined to do it all alone, now she wondered what it would be like not to have to worry about paying her bills on time. She imagined how it would feel to have someone shower her with not only love and affection but with trinkets and extravagance as well.
/OR/
The one where Hermione is drowning in insurmountable debt and decides to find a Sugar Daddy.
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
09 Apr 2025
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Summary
Hand drifting down to her abdomen, she knew. When she was younger, she’d known that there was something different about her. About her abilities. Her certainty had been palpable, and was only confirmed when Professor McGonagall had shown up on her doorstep with that fateful letter in hand. And now, just over ten years later, she felt that same sense of certainty again.
She was pregnant.And it all because she’d gone and had a one night stand with the worst person in the world… Draco Malfoy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 66,880
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 797
- Kudos:
- 12,413
- Bookmarks:
- 3,378
- Hits:
- 343,360
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
07 Apr 2025
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Summary
Hermione Granger does not make mistakes, at least not often. After making the biggest, dumbest, most horrible mistake of her life, Hermione must deal with the repercussions while keeping her relationship with her Auror partner, Draco Malfoy, strictly professional. He, of course, has other plans.
Amidst a resurgence in Death Eater activity, the likes of which Britain hasn’t seen since the First Wizarding War, Hermione will come to realize that the mistake she’s made with Draco might not be so bad at all. It just might be the best mistake.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 127,444
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Collections:
- 18
- Comments:
- 1,667
- Kudos:
- 11,792
- Bookmarks:
- 3,977
- Hits:
- 502,910
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
27 Mar 2025
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Hermione is familiar with fighting: for respect, for attention, for justice. She’s even made a career of it; working on behalf of creatures and beings. But her battle against the Ministry’s marriage law is one she loses. Badly. And now, she has to contend with not only public derision and patriarchal politics, but her growing feelings for her government-mandated spouse.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 67,209
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 2,805
- Kudos:
- 15,651
- Bookmarks:
- 5,161
- Hits:
- 557,306
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
24 Mar 2025
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A Complete Fool's Guide to Ending the Sacred 28 by Ceilidhchaos
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Feb 2022
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Summary
"Granger is going to a muggle sperm bank." Theo told Draco at lunch in the Ministry Cafe one fateful Thursday morning.
"And what is that exactly, Theodore?" Draco asked.
After that, everything is pretty much a crazy plan to have Hermione have Draco's babies. Theo is very pleased with how it's working out. His husband thinks Draco and Theo have lost their minds.
Series
- Part 1 of Ending the Sacred 28
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,453
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 143
- Kudos:
- 1,712
- Bookmarks:
- 405
- Hits:
- 43,207
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
05 Mar 2025
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Summary
After a messy divorce, Hermione moves to New York City, in hopes of starting over. Her new beginning doesn't turn out exactly how she had planned, though. Two years later, she finds herself traveling back to England for the first time so she can be Maid of Honor at Harry and Ginny's wedding. When she arrives, she's shocked to find that the Best Man is not her ex-husband. Even more shocking, she finds herself slowly warming up to her old bully.
*Contains sexually explicit scenes*
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 140,694
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Collections:
- 17
- Comments:
- 434
- Kudos:
- 4,046
- Bookmarks:
- 1,466
- Hits:
- 172,548
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
04 Mar 2025
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Hermione’s hand was poised above the door knob. She stood outside the small shop for several minutes before she even approached the wooden door. It was almost closing time. She watched him help a customer through the picture window for some time, hidden in the street’s dark shadows at the junction of Diagon and Knockturn Alleys. Her eyes took in the bold lettering of the store sign, The Poisoned Pen, Books and Potions, Est. 2008. She smiled at the name despite her nerves.
He’d remembered.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 79,626
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 20
- Comments:
- 657
- Kudos:
- 3,961
- Bookmarks:
- 1,843
- Hits:
- 160,403
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
27 Feb 2025
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Summary
“Keep trying, Malfoy. You’re good, but you’re not that good. ”
In fact, he was.
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When they fail to reach a consensus on the appropriate amount of holiday leave for their staff, Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy find themselves in a rather unexpected means of negotiation.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,925
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 55
- Kudos:
- 2,597
- Bookmarks:
- 428
- Hits:
- 35,754
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
23 Feb 2025
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- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,218
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 62
- Kudos:
- 1,272
- Bookmarks:
- 254
- Hits:
- 32,346
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
23 Feb 2025
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,370
- Kudos:
- 29,775
- Bookmarks:
- 11,817
- Hits:
- 1,772,528
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
02 Feb 2025
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Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Apr 2022
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Hermione straddles the Muggle and Magical worlds as a medical researcher and Healer about to make a big discovery. Draco is an Auror assigned to protect her from forces unknown – to both of their displeasure.
Features hyper-competent, fiery Hermione and lazy, yet dangerous, Draco. Slow burn.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 199,548
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Collections:
- 208
- Comments:
- 13,155
- Kudos:
- 96,407
- Bookmarks:
- 30,072
- Hits:
- 5,217,018
Bookmarked by TheAngryToster
27 Jan 2025