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The hunger is constant: the unspeakable, dark craving for the flickering flame of life inside another person, the urge to take and take until the eyes glaze over and there’s nothing left to burn. Ted’s got a few decades’ worth of practice at keeping a tight lid on it by now. Still, some days are harder than others.
But annoying people into being the best versions of themselves they can be—well, that’s doing them a favor in the long run, ain’t it?
[A What We Do in the Shadows AU. Ted Lasso is the nicest energy vampire you’re ever likely to meet. Promise.]
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“Might’ve been more fun to hate you from the opposite end of a pitch than the other side of an article, Crimm.”
Trent gets laid, falls in love, and remembers that football is meant to be fun. Just not quite in that order.
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Trent realises that Ted’s relying on him to make this happen—to be the one who can ask the questions, light the path that might lead them to some answers. So he summons his courage, and twenty-five years of professional experience in getting right to the point.
A coda to "a kind of dwell and welcome," about what happens the night of Richmond’s victory and the morning after.
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This just in, his mind whispered, tone both exacerbated and snide. Local ex-journalist enamored with middle-aged man writing in a journal. Can his life get any more pathetic? Tune in at 11:00 to find out!
Fuck, but he shouldn’t have drank last night. Coming out to Colin had been bad enough. Pairing that with alcohol, mere hours before he’d spend the day in an enclosed space with Ted Lasso, was stupidity, plain and simple.
Still, nothing to do but shoulder ahead. So Trent cleared his throat, wincing at how rough his voice was.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
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“I knew,” Trent began cautiously, “that after the… incident, the one I stitched together on that godforsaken flash drive, that the sign had to have been carefully repaired and hung back up very deliberately to keep anyone from finding out what had happened. I knew that it worked for months, which probably required someone keeping an eye on it to make sure one half wasn’t slipping. I knew that someone had to have already known the sign was torn in order to put it back up, and I knew that you didn’t react with as much shock or hurt as I’d expected when we showed you the tapes.”
Ted’s eyes refused to meet his. They were focused on a spot of sauce on the floor, which he was scraping at with the toe of his sneaker as if that could fix the blemish. It was nothing short of painful to watch Ted fold into himself like this. But Trent had committed almost all the way to this confrontation; at this point, he had no choice but to drop the other shoe and get it over with.
“And I, um. I saw the security footage of you spending hours to make sure it seemed perfect,” he finished with a shuddered exhale. “Would you like to comment?”
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It’s 1959, and Hob Gadling is working at a London auction house, amazing his colleagues with his uncanny knowledge of art and artifacts from the 14th century on. When he gets the assignment to catalogue a family library at a place called Fawney Rig, he looks forward to a working vacation in the country. What he finds is a house with a preternatural chill where odd disturbances happen daily, an ornate carved door with a secret clearly hidden behind it, and visions of his mysterious stranger every time he turns around.
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the lunatic, the lover, and the poet are of imagination all compact by reginahalliwell
Fandoms: Ted Lasso (TV)
17 Oct 2021
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Trent and Ted finally get on the same page.
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“I’m sorry, you’re what?” Rebecca’s staring at him as though he’s announced his plans of robbing a bank. “You’re going out to dinner with Trent Crimm? Trent Crimm, formerly of The Independent? That Trent Crimm?”
In retrospect, sharing his dinner plans when Rebecca asked what he was doing tonight might have been a slight mistake on Ted's part.
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Despite frequent accusations hurled at him by drunk fans and pissed off players to the contrary, Trent actually loves football.
It's just that he's always been shit at it.
Series
- Part 1 of Love-Forty Down
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Curse of the Green Hag by Moorishflower
Fandoms: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
27 Apr 2023
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“For the crime of attempting to parlay, the hag has cursed me to fall prey to my most bestial urges. Either to secret myself to the woods and there lose my mind, or else to succumb to overwhelming desire for the first creature to touch me. It is why…” Here, a spark of Xenk’s old self-righteousness flares in his eyes. “...I begged you not to touch me. And now here we are.”
“In my defense, you weren’t really coherent,” Ed says weakly.
Three months after the defeat of Sofina, Xenk shows up on Ed's new doorstep needing help with a very specific curse.
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Trent didn’t even pause to say good morning, which has become an indelible part of their morning routine (if you ask Ted) since he joined Richmond under the guise of writing a tell-all book.
Clearly, something is very wrong.
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To tell the truth, Trent hasn’t thought that much yet about how this is emotionally affecting him. Perhaps later, after all of this blows over, there will be a grieving process for what he’s given up. Certainly there will be worries—what the most viable path to pursue next will be, how to minimize the disruption to Eliza’s life. It’s possible that the freedom of being untethered to a publication will become distressing, once the magnitude of it has set in.
But right now, the possibility of something new is all he can comprehend. Reporting on Richmond had begun to feel like a box someone was cramming him into—years of articles on the same mediocre matches, average season after average season. Then Ted had come along and thrown everything into chaos. And now, years into the boring middle of an otherwise respectable career, Trent has finally realized: there are other stories out there. Maybe even stories he could stand to be a part of.
Post-season 2 finale, Trent and Ted have a conversation, a revelation, and a move toward something more.
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When he gets home, he calls his father and listens to him ramble about this and that for a full five minutes before blurting, “I’ve just thrown my career away.”
There’s a pause, and then his dad ventures, “Surely that’s an exaggeration?”
“I’m afraid not. I quit – or technically I was fired, but I sort of forced Greg’s hand.”
“Dare I ask why?”
Trent sighs heavily and leans back in his chair. “I’m afraid I may have done it for a man.”Trent Crimm, in the aftermath of his article.
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"But, hey, if you wouldn't have left Chelsea when you did, we probably never would have met."
Ted makes this absurd face at Roy, resting his chin on his hands and batting his eyelashes at the other man as if he's some damsel in distress in need of saving. Complete with an eyebrow waggle. It's ridiculous and endearing all at the same time. Trent can't help but smile at the gesture, though his gaze soon centres on Roy, expecting to earn a growl. Or a cutting remark. Or a cutting remark delivered with a growl.
There was something to the discussion of Roy's experiences being back at Chelsea. He could see Roy's initial hesitance to speak in front of him, even though Trent wouldn't be running off to write yet another think piece on the Great Roy Kent. They may have reached a tentative truce, but it didn't mean that old habits broke easily.
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nothing around but the sound of my heart and your sighs by sandpiperair
Fandoms: Ted Lasso (TV)
29 Apr 2023
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Ted Lasso hadn’t known the specific brand of H-E-double hockey sticks that was crushing on a straight boy since he was in high school.
A classic tale of boy meets boy where then the boys then get stuck overnight in a football clubhouse.
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After he bonds with Colin in Amsterdam, Trent runs into the bane of his gay existence: Ted Lasso.
Series
- Part 1 of Trent Crimm Knows What He Wants
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i've got a feeling (everybody had a good year) by heartofwinterfell for NeelyO
Fandoms: Ted Lasso (TV)
25 Dec 2021
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His daughter’s new primary school teacher is an American. And that’s only the start of Trent Crimm’s problems.
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Did Trent mean to go home with Ted the night before?
Nope.
Is he going to do it again?
Probably.
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"Tomorrow," Trent says, "have dinner with me."It's impulsive, like going home with Ted the night before. The impulse makes his stomach twist, anticipation and anxiety warring until Ted grins.
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The night before the morning after.
Or: the prequel (of sorts) to I Know I'll Reach The Sun
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Trent thinks about disentangling himself and heading home to have a wank by himself.
Trent thinks about it for as long as it takes Ted to curve his hand over the side of Trent's face. The grip is firm and familiar and a shiver rolls over Trent's skin.
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Ted notices Trent Crimm's hair and it's all downhill from there. An exploration of their relationship as it moves from casual to not. Romance and pining and fluff and soft smut for these sweet boys.