baulieew
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The thing is, Dean is an idiot. That’s not news and he’s made his peace with that, but sometimes things would just be easier if he wasn’t. This right here, for example, wouldn’t be happening. But if there’s one thing Dean just can’t do, it’s talking about his feelings. So, he’s being an idiot. Sue him. If anything, this is on Cas, because if he follows the thread of events that lead to this, Cas fucking started it.
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Or, the one where Dean rather locks himself in Baby’s trunk than confront his feelings. -
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Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).
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- English
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- 10,846
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Bookmarked by baulieew
08 Nov 2025
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Bookmarker's Notes
i still come back to this fic 'cause... nina simone
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Listen, I tell you a mystery by bathilda bagshot (wellthengameover)
Fandoms: Supernatural, The Winchesters (TV 2022), Supernatural (TV 2005)
30 Aug 2021
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What is he, without this pain?
Some of it he will learn with heartbreak. Most of it he will learn with age. If you live long enough, you see the same stories in different people.
- Language:
- English
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- 25,973
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by baulieew
14 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
so so so goodd. the similarities between dean and mary are highlighted so well and i might have shed a few tears reading about anna & mary
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It almost feels like, if Dean went to sleep right now, he could get it back. Like he would slip right back into the dream, and it would pick up where it left off. But Dean doesn’t even want to, now that he can see that world for what it is: a cheap hallucination, poking at all his weaknesses, going right for the soft underbelly Dean never shows.
All that work. All that work Dean had done over the past few weeks, trying to numb himself and act like he’d forgotten about it. And now it feels like the Empty took Cas all of five minutes ago, all over again.
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A post-15x19, forty one year-old Dean gets a taste of what twenty seven year-old Dean went through in 2x20, “What Is and What Should Never Be,” and sees how the shape of his own happiness has changed. Then life goes on, same as it ever was—except for the dreams he starts having at all hours of the day, and a familiar voice on the phone that's starting to sound a little too real.
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Sometimes, very late at night, lying only a wall away from one of his closest friends, he wonders what it would be like to tell someone. Maybe it’s finally time to let someone in on even the deepest parts of himself. He falls asleep to the idea, letting the concept play out in a way that isn’t as tragic as he expects it to be in reality. Disappointment engulfs him in the morning when he knows he won’t do it anyway.
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Dennis Whitaker was sent away to a wilderness therapy camp when he was sixteen. He's only coming to terms with it twelve years later.