20 Bookmarks by corpseMonkey
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“Are you offended that people think we’re dating?”
“No,” Mike says immediately. “Of course not,” because, again, he should be so lucky.
Will’s baffled expression does not change. “Then why would I be?”
“So– okay, fine, whatever. Should we, like, tell them to get their heads out of their asses and that we’re not– um– dating, or–”
“I think,” Will cuts in, “well. You know what would be funny?”
Honestly, Mike doesn't know what he thought being Will Byers' fake-boyfriend would entail, but he definitely didn't think it would involve this many ugly Christmas sweaters.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,011
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 255
- Kudos:
- 9,517
- Bookmarks:
- 2,078
- Hits:
- 95,019
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
24 Dec 2025
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It’s winter in Hawkins, and Mike and Will aren’t speaking anymore. Living in Mike’s house, Will tries to be invisible, spending most of his time in the basement.
Then the power goes out — and if there’s one thing he dreads more than facing Mike, it’s the cold.
or
Seven nights in which Mike and Will have to sleep in the same bed, even though they’re barely friends anymore.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 52,632
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 14,217
- Kudos:
- 197,940
- Bookmarks:
- 30,387
- Hits:
- 2,680,714
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
12 Dec 2025
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Summary
Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.
Series
- Part 1 of Running on Air
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 74,880
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 18
- Comments:
- 5,752
- Kudos:
- 70,721
- Bookmarks:
- 23,103
- Hits:
- 1,759,718
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
27 Jan 2025
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Summary
Harry sits his kids down and tells them a story. A very long story.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 95,500
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 401
- Kudos:
- 4,933
- Bookmarks:
- 1,445
- Hits:
- 104,232
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
12 Jan 2025
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In the summer before his fifth year at Hogwarts, Harry is drawn to a room in Grimmauld Place. Like the Gryffindor he is, he enters the room without fear. The room is a library, and Harry is surprised to find that he’s eager to learn.
Then he gets the bad news: he’s been accidentally expelled from Hogwarts, and he needs to be sorted again. Everyone is confident that he’ll go straight back to Gryffindor, but with what he's been learning, Harry’s not so sure.
Series
- Part 1 of Mutatum
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 222,453
- Chapters:
- 29/29
- Collections:
- 213
- Comments:
- 9,004
- Kudos:
- 90,807
- Bookmarks:
- 24,137
- Hits:
- 3,113,052
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
02 Jan 2025
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Potter and Malfoy's Guide to the Internet by Bitui_n
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Nov 2025
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Summary
Harry and Draco are tasked with creating a YouTube channel for Muggle Studies; shennanagins ensue when the internet falls in love with their hilarious rivalry.
Draco: Potter, what is a 'Drarry'?
Harry: I have no idea, where did you hear that?
Draco: Our minions-
Harry: Followers
Draco: -keep commenting itIn a world where Voldemort was never resurrected, Harry Potter still goes through life facing trolls and horrible relatives because in no universe can the Boy-Who-Lived avoid trouble. Despite attempts at revenge by the leaderless Death Eaters, Harry is in his seventh and final year at Hogwarts with high hopes for a calm and relaxing send-off. Unfortunately for our beloved hero, however, fate just loves fucking with him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 154,182
- Chapters:
- 15/20
- Collections:
- 25
- Comments:
- 6,104
- Kudos:
- 17,688
- Bookmarks:
- 4,393
- Hits:
- 590,819
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
07 Dec 2024
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Falling for a Golden Boy by OTPshipper98 for milkandhoney
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hercules (1997)
28 Jul 2019
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Merlin. Why couldn’t Draco have moved to a forgotten village in the Alps? He could have turned into a shepherd, learned to make his own damn cheese and given up his damn magic. But no, he’d had to come back to his Eighth year, hadn’t he? And this was his life now. Draping himself over Potter to hear words from him that he knew Potter wouldn’t ever mean.
Great. The school year ahead of him looked simply great.
“All I know is—when I’m with you, I…” Potter, the heathen, grunted when he read the rest of his line. “Do I really need to say this?”
“What, scared of believing your own words, Scarhead?” Draco spat.
“Boys,” O’Neill warned them.
“All I—all I know is you’re the most amazing person with weak ankles that I've ever met, Meg.” Potter scowled. He was blushing again. “And when I’m with you, I feel less alone.”
Or where a drama play, a grumpy pompom and a bunch of well-intentioned friends help Draco and Harry find peace—and each other—after the war.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 44,655
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 494
- Kudos:
- 4,455
- Bookmarks:
- 1,236
- Hits:
- 68,091
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
30 Mar 2024
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Aren't you TIRED of longing? don't you just want to go APESHIT while dating your best bro? I mean, you've earned it, right?
(This is a collection of oneshot mini comics. marked as complete, updates whenever.)Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
08 Jan 2023
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Summary
A sitcom about completely normal and well-adjusted newlyweds Dirk and Caliborn attempting to make a good impression on their son, Dave, and his boyfriend, Karkat.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,570
- Chapters:
- 20/?
- Comments:
- 884
- Kudos:
- 4,223
- Bookmarks:
- 744
- Hits:
- 58,283
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
08 Jan 2023
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The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You've Known by HappiKatt
Fandoms: Homestuck
10 Apr 2018
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Summary
There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist.
Slow burn, shifting perspectives; romance really isn't the focus here but it'll still play a significant part; extra content warnings will be posted with each relevant chapter.
Series
- Part 1 of Crossfire
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 178,722
- Chapters:
- 39/39
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,427
- Kudos:
- 3,042
- Bookmarks:
- 584
- Hits:
- 59,366
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
05 Jan 2023
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Unfortunately, you don't fancy your brother's suggestion on how to break the news to John...
There's no other way out of it, you're going to have to just tell him.*Now with gorgeous art by the wonderful Polyglotplatypus!*
Series
- Part 1 of Choose your own Epilogue
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
01 Jan 2023
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Summary
Karkat Vantas was a mutant. Rejected by the universe for his cherry blood, he searched for a way, any way, to show everyone that he was worth noticing. He thought the invasion would be the perfect opportunity. He would kill some humans, get some glory, and prove himself to be more than a freak. What could go wrong?
Dave Strider was just a teenager. With an abusive brother and not much else, he kept himself moving, leaping from one distraction to the next. He just wanted something to change.
They would both get what they wanted, but in a way neither of them would have ever seen coming.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 103,301
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Comments:
- 270
- Kudos:
- 1,173
- Bookmarks:
- 200
- Hits:
- 22,672
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
05 Dec 2022
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Summary
Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is.
And it really doesn’t seem fair that Draco Malfoy is back in Harry’s life, all of a sudden, and even though he’s wandless, and living with Muggles, and making his mother cry with his lifestyle choices, he’s happy. So what's he doing right, that Harry isn’t?
Because things don’t really change, do they? And if Harry can’t be happy, he’ll settle for a good night’s sleep, some posh antiques, and the opportunity to find out what Malfoy has been up to for all these years.
And that’s what starts it all.
Series
- Part 1 of Modern Love
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 61,323
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 919
- Kudos:
- 5,091
- Bookmarks:
- 2,026
- Hits:
- 133,046
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
21 Apr 2022
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Summary
Theodore Nott planned to spend his eighth and final year at school studying for his N.E.W.T.s, avoiding his classmates, and dodging their theatrics long enough to graduate.
Instead, he found himself ensnared between the entirety of the eighth-year class (who'd convinced themselves that Draco and Potter were secretly shagging) and Draco and Potter themselves (who actually were, and were frankly awful at hiding it.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,492
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 150
- Kudos:
- 1,925
- Bookmarks:
- 504
- Hits:
- 33,018
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
18 Apr 2022
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Summary
Your name is Karkat Vantas.
You are the proud owner of a small but quaint local children’s bookstore called Bookbound, which you have run your entire life. But across and down the street, threatening to put you out of business for good, is the construction site for another installment in a chain of super bookstores owned by the enigmatic Strider brothers and co. You are adamantly convinced you hate the people behind the Strider’s Puppets and Pages bookstore, whoever these assholes are.
Your name is carcinoGeneticist, and you have a mysterious internet penpal, who you have spoken with everyday since you met him in a chatroom almost two weeks ago. He goes by turntechGodhead, and despite not knowing his name or face, you can’t help but eagerly look forward to talking to him. The two of you share rules: no personal information, no business talk, no names. But you think the anonymity adds a certain charm to it all. Sure, you don’t know who he is, but you know he’s funny and charming, and incredibly kind. You’re convinced you’re in love with him, whoever he is.
And then one day he suggests the two of you should finally meet.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,026
- Chapters:
- 5/12
- Comments:
- 288
- Kudos:
- 1,078
- Bookmarks:
- 212
- Hits:
- 38,932
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
18 Aug 2021
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Ever think about how Dirk Strider got full narrative awareness of the fanfics where he's the big scary hunk in charge and went "i can do that" when he wasn't, in fact, able to do that? i do. i think about that.
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
10 Aug 2021
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Doc Scratch's School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents by medical
Fandoms: Homestuck
03 Jul 2019
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Summary
One minute you get a mysterious message from a man who types all in white like a jackass, and the next thing you know you're being whisked away to a mystical school for kids with superpowers. If you weren't Dave fucking Strider, this sort of thing might bother you.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 231,085
- Chapters:
- 28/28
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 1,122
- Kudos:
- 4,022
- Bookmarks:
- 799
- Hits:
- 93,739
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
21 Jul 2021
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Summary
This time on "I'm really bad at summaries but I will do my best."
I present a story in which Karkat works at a restaurant where you're supposed to be rude to the customers. It's sort of the gimmick there. Normally he can handle what he's given at work and give it right back, but this just might be the straw that breaks the load. Little does our kitkat know that Dave can dish the shit better than anyone out there. Sarcastic adult boys will be sarcastic. I hope this will be as slow burning as I want it to be, but then again it probably won't.
Basically it's a rambling, never ending DaveKat roller coaster in which I pretend there's some real plot behind it all. It's a story where two boys fall in love and they just keep on living and loving together. That's it. That's the whole fic.Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 127,468
- Chapters:
- 27/28
- Comments:
- 166
- Kudos:
- 492
- Bookmarks:
- 61
- Hits:
- 14,107
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
17 Jul 2021
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Summary
Dave Strider is 23 and back at his old high school. Instead of pursuing his MFA, writing music, directing films, Dave has placed his future plans on hold in order to return home and take care of his younger siblings after the death of their parents.
And he's heard about Karkat Vantas from his enamored siblings.
They weren't wrong when they said he was cute.
Series
- Part 1 of TL Follies
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
15 Jul 2021
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Summary
Karkat has had a shitty life and has had to bust his ass for everything he has. He has no patience for spoiled, delusional, lazy people and this is exactly what he thinks Dave Strider is. They get paired up together for a project in their college English class and when Karkat accidently learns that Dave is fighting to keep custody of his younger brother Dirk, he learns that he may have been completely wrong about Dave and shouldn't have judged a book by it's cover. A story of two damaged boys coming to each others rescue and growing as people. <3
Series
- Part 1 of Covers
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 136,612
- Chapters:
- 28/28
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,027
- Kudos:
- 2,476
- Bookmarks:
- 446
- Hits:
- 48,680
Bookmarked by corpseMonkey
15 Jul 2021