dorkpatroller
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Recent works
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Historically Speaking by dorkpatroller for Calolily
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
02 Sep 2025
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Summary
Those silvery starlight curls are waterlogged and stuck to one side of Astarion’s face, and he has a proud grin on his face while he swims closer. “Why are you spending your evening with me like this, Gale of Waterdeep? You just let a perfect stranger bully you right into jumping into the ocean.”
“You did say that misery loves company,” Gale answers.
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Getting ready for Pride, Gale contemplates what about himself he's grown to be proud of. Sometimes he lets himself forget, but in his moments of doubt his wonderful, opinionated, pushy partner always reminds him of what truly matters.
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In a momentary lapse in Cazador's compulsion over him, Astarion flees Baldur's Gate. The moment he does, Cazador's second line of defense takes over, and he transforms into a small bat with no real way to defend himself against the sunlight or the wildlife around him. Then he meets a wandering wizard in need of a traveling companion.
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Weird But Fuckin' Beautiful by dorkpatroller for SerenaOfFaerun
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
13 Apr 2025
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“And you?” Gale asks, “If you could be anywhere but here, where would it be?” He’s got a look in his eye that says he’s about to do some pompous wizard nonsense. It puts a flutter in Astarion’s chest, something like the phantom of a skipped heartbeat.
“Someplace warm, naturally. In a book I found the other day, they mentioned a beach made up of rainbows or something equally nonsensical.”
“Prisma Coast,” Gale says because, of course, he’s heard of it.
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Astarion really would like to tell Gale he loves him, at some point. He just keeps stumbling over his own words.
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NOW WITH GORGEOUS ART IN CHAPTER 2!
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This Valentine's Day Astarion has planned an only slightly-devious romantic evening for his husband. When they're banned from the resort later, he'll say it wasn't his fault.
Series
- Part 2 of Romance Scam AU
Recent series
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12 Days of Swiftmas by dorkpatroller, Dorkpatroller DND OCs (dorkpatroller), dorkpatroller_Retired (dorkpatroller)
Fandom: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
16 Dec 2021
- Words:
- 11,638
- Works:
- 3
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Freedom of the Waves by dorkpatroller, Dorkpatroller DND OCs (dorkpatroller)
Fandom: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
22 Aug 2023
Summary
A handful of Atlantis AU content for Hal and Red.
- Words:
- 62,235
- Works:
- 1
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Summary
Any fics that take place in universe for Back to December.
- Words:
- 48,799
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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The Power to Protect by dorkpatroller, dorkpatroller_Retired (dorkpatroller)
Fandom: Fire Emblem Engage
02 Sep 2023
- Words:
- 9,577
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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How To Serve (Laslow lets Xander bang him to unwind) by dorkpatroller, dorkpatroller_Retired (dorkpatroller)
Fandom: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
25 Jun 2017
- Words:
- 14,953
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 11
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Astarion stopped mid-step, his expression caught between amusement and incredulity. “Questions?”
“Questions,” Gale repeated firmly. “Twenty-one, to be exact. It’s a popular, albeit clichéd, way to get to know someone. The questions I chose are designed to spark conversation.”
Astarion snorted, jutting his hip out as he crossed his arms. “Fine,” he said with mock exasperation. “Let’s hear it, then. But if this turns into an interrogation, I reserve the right to leave.”-
astarion and gale getting to know each other through some sleepover games (:
written for the bloodweave brainrot 2024 secret santa!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,181
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 157
- Bookmarks:
- 21
- Hits:
- 1,291
Bookmarked by dorkpatroller
26 Jan 2025
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The decision to attend Waterdeep Comic Con during the Midwinter holiday had been intentional. Astarion had assumed that everyone – his overbearing (if well-meaning) friends, his manager, and his psychotic ex – would leave him alone so that he could work in peace. He’d been wrong. On the heels of one of the worst scandals of his acting career, Astarion Ancunin is saved by an unlikely hero: his driver.
⊹¤.•⨳•.*⊹¤.•⨳•.*⊹¤.•⨳•.*⊹¤.•⨳•.*⊹¤.•⨳•.*
The Driver hefted a set of black, leather gloves from atop his legs. His fingers were long and tanned. Astarion couldn’t help but watch as he donned them, giving the tight fabric a flex until the leather stretched over his knuckles. Then he tilted his head to the left, touching an ear to each of his shoulders, before pushing out his chest. His fitted suit strained against the motion, and Astarion heard a few joints pop.
“Do you happen to have your seatbelt on, sir?” the driver asked.
Astarion’s mouth, for some reason, watered.
Bookmarked by dorkpatroller
24 Dec 2024
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Summary
He hears someone calling and oh, it’s Gale, how strange—wasn’t he just thinking of him? Pretty wizard. He should show Gale the pretty blade he has found.
--OR--
Astarion finds a bespelled dagger, but Gale refuses to hurt him to stop the curse.
Bookmarked by dorkpatroller
15 Aug 2024
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- Words:
- 27,794
- Works:
- 10
- Bookmarks:
- 194
Bookmarked by dorkpatroller
21 Jun 2024
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Summary
“You,” he says, and gods help him but Astarion has missed that smug little note of ah-hah! in his voice, “came here to rescue me!”
“I,” Astarion sniffs, “came here to save the illustrious and noble city of Waterdeep. Anticipating a generous reward, naturally.”
“You're here for me,” Gale insists, still grinning. His eyes are shining.
He looks so fucking radiant, it makes Astarion want to stab something.
In which Astarion saves the day, and Waterdeep, and Gale. That last one is completely incidental, you understand. And no, he is not lying to himself, darling. That you would even suggest such a thing.
Bookmarked by dorkpatroller
16 Apr 2024