21 - 40 of 48 Works by ether3um
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(or maybe I just need to wake up) Title from Runaway by Phoneboy
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There was no reason Techno should be anywhere but the nest right now. He should be finishing his book over a nice cup of blood. But nooo~. Tommy insisted on going trick-or-treating and Phil would run a stake through the entire coven’s hearts and then his own before letting his fledgling out alone.
“Remind me why you’re going trick-or-treating again, hm, Theseus?” Techno asked as Tommy stepped up to the first door. “You can’t enjoy the candy anyway.” Vampires were able to eat food other than blood, but everything seemed sour after death and held a certain taste of rot.
“It’s not about the candy, Blade.” Techno raised a single, pristine eyebrow. “Okay, it is a little about the candy. There’s no way I’m ever giving up candy. But it’s mostly about the experience. We’re going to hit all of the houses in this neighborhood, and we’re going to do it before midnight!”
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OR; Techno and Tommy go trick or treating. The neighbors are... a little bit strange to say the least.
OR OR; Vampire BedrockBros trick or treating AU with plenty of cameos!
Series
- Part 13 of I’m Not Throwing Away My [one] Shot
- Part 8 of Beloveds
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(from the pain I harbor) Title from Over & Over by: Rio Romeo
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She turned her head when he entered.
“Hello,” Phil said gently. She remained still, observing. “I’m Phil. Do you remember your name?”
She watched him with placid eyes for long enough that he thought she wouldn’t answer until she signed, “Yes.”
The corner of Phil’s mouth quirked up in amusement.
“Could you tell me?” Her lips twitched as though she considered smiling.
“Kristin,” she finger-spelled.
“It fits you,” he replied politely, stepping closer. “Is this your house?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve been here a while.” It was a statement, but also a question. Ghosts became less transparent the further they got from death; Kristin was nearly opaque.
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OR; Phil is a medium. His newest job is to convince a homeowner's ghost to leave.
OR OR; Parentduo Ghost Fic
Series
- Part 4 of Warmups
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Summary
Title from Non-Stop
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“Who was it?” She asked again.
Burr sighed, smiling fondly. Even when she was half-asleep he couldn’t outwit her.
“It was Alexander.” She hummed.
“Lovely wife. I’ll need to go visit Eliza again soon. What did he want so late?”
Burr looked at his wife, really looked, and found himself falling all over again. There was something so alluring about her intellect, about her brazen corrections. She didn’t fear knowledge, she yearned for it. It was quite honestly a breath of fresh air.
But how long did he have left? The thought reared its ugly head and he couldn’t help but humor it. Everyone who had ever loved Burr had died.
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OR; What happens after Alex asks Burr to help him write the Federalist Papers.
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Welcome to the graveyard where my fics go to live out their final breaths! You’ll find all sorts of stuff in here, from short drafts to idea lists to full planned out chapters.
If anything inspires you, feel free to use it! Please credit me, mostly so I can see where my ideas end up :]
Go on, rats. /lhj
Feast.
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Titles from Babooshka by: Kate Bush
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Tommy’s head tilted slightly to the right, presumably where Kristin was sitting. “Techno Blade,” he repeated. His voice was curt but confused, like he was simply copying her tone.
There was a beat of silence.
“...Kristin,” Techno replied, humoring them at least for the moment, “And it’s one word, Tommy.”
“That’s a cool name,” The toddler mumbled to himself. “A-and who are you?” He raised a hand.
Techno sighed.
“I’m Te–”
“No,” Phil cut his friend off. “He’s talking to… someone else.” The boy’s finger was pointed slightly to Techno’s right.
Tommy’s face twisted into a bemused frown.
“Ghost…bur?”
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OR; 4-year old Tommy knows things he shouldn't. He claims his mother told him.
But... his mother is dead.
OR OR; 4/4 SBI Ghost AU
Series
- Part 7 of Beloveds
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Title from This is What Heartbreak Feels Like by JVKE
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“Philza Craft, but Phil will suffice,” he said as Arthie filled his cup. The warm, familiar scent of loose-leaf Ceylani tea drifted up to her, easing her nerves. If nothing else, he had good taste.
“Well, sir,” she said, blatantly ignoring his introduction. “If you had come just a few minutes later, perhaps we could’ve served something a little more to your liking.” Philza laughed quietly but genuinely.
“Oh, I’m not a vampire, mate.” Arthie twisted her lips coyly.
“You can’t keep secrets from the secret keeper.” She offered him a scornful grin, sliding in across from him. Arthie watched carefully as he brought the teacup to his mouth. He drank it black. She found a begrudging sense of respect rising in her chest and she squashed it down.
Phil was a common enough name, but the ‘za’ was throwing her off. It was as foreign as the tea in his cup.
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OR; Not many people can make Spindrift patrons weary. Philza Craft is one of them. He's blatantly rich and eccentric, plus clearly well-known and feared.
So why hasn't Arthie heard of him?
OR OR; Blood and Tea/ParentDuo Crossover AU (3M SummerFest Fic #2)
Series
- Part 6 of Beloveds
- Part 12 of I’m Not Throwing Away My [one] Shot
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(I just knew too much) Title from Crazy by Gnarls Barkley
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The excitement twisted into horror as Phil felt his foot twist in its sandal, the shoe getting lodged in the sand. His momentum carried him forward and his legs were thrown from under him.
The basket slipped from his grip, hurtling through the air…
…and landed in Kristin’s lap. Phil’s alightment was far less dignified; he fell face first onto the embroidered diamonds of Kristin’s towel, sending sand flying.
The moment of silence was shattered by Kristin’s resounding guffaw.
“Are you okay?” She squeezed out between laughs. Luckily, nothing had been injured but his pride and he sat up, face flushed.
“At least the food is okay. I hope we packed something you like.” The laughter faded into giggles as Kristin started emptying the basket, kicking out her legs. A wooden surfboard sat to her side.
The noirette hummed approvingly at the thick slices of watermelon, and Phil smiled to himself.
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OR; Phil meets a girl at the beach. He likes her. She likes him.
The only problem is he's only staying for a week.
OR OR; 3M SummerFest Fic #1 (Child ParentDuo Beach AU)
Series
- Part 5 of Beloveds
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Summary
His eyes widened as he skimmed it briefly before opening his mouth to read aloud.
“‘It has come to our attention that an accident pertaining to one of the Emperor’s attendees occurred last night. King Karl, representative of Kinoko Kingdom, has regretfully passed away. Due to the nature of the death, the castle has been put under Lockdown for the best of all of the royals within.'”
Techno muttered. “Phil will want to say something, right? At least to us?”
“‘The Emperor is currently going through an intense amount of grief, as you can imagine. Kinoko Kingdom was one of the Empire’s greatest alliances. As such, he will not be seeing anyone until the customary mourning process has come to a close. There will be no exceptions and any attempt to communicate with his Majesty will be dealt with decisively. Best Regards, Sam Asimdue, Councillor.”
“So to unpack all of that,” Techno said, “Karl was murdered in his sleep.”
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OR; Emperor Philza is holding an international conference, and everyone’s invited.
What could go wrong?
OR OR; I wrote another royal au except its much darker and I went kind of crazy with the worldbuilding and politics.
Series
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I'd Rather Take My Whiskey Neat by Arsenic (ether3um)
Fandoms: Deadpool (Comics), Spider-Man/Deadpool - Joe Kelly (Comics)
28 Jun 2024
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Titles from Too Sweet by: Hozier
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“You see, this is what I want to talk to you about. We never have time to address it properly and… well, Wade, I think you’re crazy.” Deadpool raised a single, fine eyebrow.
“Yes, Webs. This has been established and reiterated time and time again. It’s what makes me so damn friendly and affable. Along with my killer-- hah! --personality and looks.”
“Sure, but out of all of the things that contribute to your less than stable mental state, this has been your longest schtick, and the only one you let disrupt fights and stuff. It’s not okay, Wade. There are no “readers”. This is real life.” Deadpool raised a palm to cover his already masked mouth, clutching his pearls.
“They’re right there, Webs! Apologize.” He gestured to a far, empty wall and Spiderman shook his head gently. Pityingly.
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OR; Peter needs to have a little talk with Wade. This "reader" bit has gone too far.
Because they're not real. Obviously.
...right?
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Title from This is What Space Feels Like by JVKE
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The tips of Kristin’s fingers scratched gentle ministrations into Techno’s scalp and he relaxed.
“Are you worried we’ll love you less?” Kristin asked, pulling a hand through Techno’s curls.
“No…” Wilbur turned to face the door. “But you’ll have to feed him. And Dad says there’s barely enough food for us.” Kristin’s hands slowed and she sighed.
“Exactly what conversations have you been having with your father?”
“I heard you two talking in your room through the wall. I’ve been trying to eat less to save some for the baby, but I don’t think it’s working.” Kristin sighed again.
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OR; Techno needs to wash his hair. Painful memories resurface.
OR OR; I was feeling squishy in a weird way and wrote something sad. (Kristin, Techno and Wilbur Haircare AU)
Series
- Part 11 of I’m Not Throwing Away My [one] Shot
- Part 4 of Beloveds
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Summary
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Wilbur stole a glance down at his watch. They were running late. He gripped the catwalk railing as the song floated up to him.
From his angle he could see the illuminated faces of dancers, but none of them were familiar in the slightest.
His eyes raked the crowd until they landed on a less than organized movement. A darkly clothed figure was weaving through the swarm like a salmon swimming upstream.
Wilbur rushed as quickly as he could across the catwalk to the northwest spotlight.
He flicked it on and swung it to face the stage. The singer squinted into the sudden light, beads of sweat popping up on her forehead and Wilbur dashed to turn off another.
If anything went wrong in the ballroom, they were done for.
When he looked back at the crowd, the figure had disappeared.
Wilbur cursed.
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OR; This was a big night for famed singer Niki Nihachu. It was a big night for scrappy streetboy Fundy.
It was an especially big night for a couple of thieves.
OR OR; SBI + Kristin Ballroom Heist AU
Series
- Part 9 of I’m Not Throwing Away My [one] Shot
- Part 1 of Beloveds
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Summary
(And water’d heaven with their tears) Title from The Tyger: by William Blake
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“I like you, Red. I think you’re charming. Cute. Funny, even.” There was something Tommy couldn’t quite place settled just under the surface of the Angel’s words. They were still kind, but a cold, polished edge had been added.
It was almost… sinister.
“And because I like you, let me offer you some free advice.” Before Tommy knew what was happening, the tip of the blade was pointed at his chest. He backed up, nearly tripping over his feet and the Angel followed easily.
The elder’s mouth was resting in a gentle smile, but his eyes were unremorseful, gleaming with barely subdued amusement.
Tommy should’ve known better than to let his guard down.
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OR; Tommy is up late on a rooftop thinking. The Angel of Death decides to join him.
He has some things to say.
OR OR; AngelDuo Super AU
Series
- Part 10 of I’m Not Throwing Away My [one] Shot
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The blonde twitched inadvertently and his stomach seized in pain. A cloudy fog was starting to settle over his mind and he wanted to give in so badly. Even a way out without honor was a way out.
In the Pit it was kill or be killed. There was nothing else he could do. Mercy was a fool’s game.
Everything he’d ever done was to protect himself.
He was innocent.
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OR; Crimebois prison AU
Series
- Part 3 of Warmups
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“Did you know…” Techno watched as his blue pupils flicked back and forth, Tommy racking his brain. “Did you know the moon is a government scheme? I saw it! It’s made of cardboard and a piece of tape is holding it up!”
Techno opened his mouth to reply, but Tommy barreled on, his little wings beating frantically. “Speaking of which, what if we’re all in a giant bottle and the sun is actually the opening. Like, have you ever looked at it? It’s all round ‘n shit.
“And I need to make a tik tok. I’ll start. Vibe? And now you say Aesthetic, and I’ll say feel and then you say good. Okay, okay. Vibe?”
Techno gave up on talking and simply walked over to Tommy, lifting the boy and tucking him under his arm like a sack of potatoes.
Series
- Part 2 of Warmups
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Summary
(has things to hide) Title from a poem my friend wrote!
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The whole place stank of death. Sticky blood clung to her shoes like a drowning man and she kicked them off; she couldn’t afford to be slowed.
He was dressed in the dark blue of a soldier, golden medals and adornments decorated his coat. His hair, his beautiful, blond hair was brown with dirt and blood.
Kristin fell to her knees.
Tommy tumbled from her arms as she let go of him to clutch Phil’s clothes. “Papa?” The boy whispered, confused.
He was sitting in a pool of his own blood. An arrow protruded from his shoulder and a slash across his chest had his innards flowing out grotesquely.
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OR; Philza and Kristin command the Antarctic Empire's army and are currently at war. They've fought countless times at each others' sides but now Kristin has other matters to attend to.
She isn't there when his body hits the ground.
OR OR; ParentDuo War Fic
Series
- Part 5 of I’m Not Throwing Away My [one] Shot
- Part 1 of Warmups
- Part 2 of Beloveds
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Hodge-Podge (Glue My Pieces Together Until They Stick) by ether3um
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Original Work
01 Apr 2024
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Summary
“It just looks sad,” Techno said before he could stop himself. Puffy hummed, moving forward to unlock the cage.
“Humans are pack animals. It’s why we try to move them through the system as quickly as possible. He’ll be much happier when he imprints, don’t worry.”
The human didn’t even react when Puffy walked in, reaching a hand out; he just placed his paw in her grip and followed passively.
(April Fools Fic + Link at the end!)
Series
- Part 8 of I’m Not Throwing Away My [one] Shot
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Title from the Hoosiers
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Philza W. Craft went by many names: The Angel of Death, The Crowfather, The Eye That Never Rests. It was said that he ruled the prison with an iron fist, personally seeing to the executions of anyone who stepped out of line.
If you wanted to survive, you kept your head down and stayed out of his way.
“Welcome to Pandora’s Box. We run cold here.”
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OR; O!Neo Trio Prison AU
OR OR; 3M GodFight fic III
Series
- Part 3 of 3M God Fight 2024!!
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Summary
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Searing hot tears seemed to appear out of nowhere as Phil screamed incomprehensibly, tugging against the chains. His mind was clouding with cries of Flock-Flock-Help-Flock as he threw himself towards the body.
Insanity was meant to be doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, but Phil didn’t care whether he was crazy or not. He knew from years of experience that the binds wouldn’t break but he was desperate for the first time in what felt like an eternity.
“What did you do to her?” He roared, teeth snapping on air. “What the fuck did you do to her? I hate you, you goddamn bastard!”
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OR; Phil was a supervillain until he was captured and detained by the League. Technoblade oversees his rehabilitation and has a little surprise for him.
OR OR; 3M GodFight Fic IV
Series
- Part 4 of 3M God Fight 2024!!
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Summary
Title from Cops and Robbers by the Hoosiers
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“It looks feral.” The stranger deadpanned and Phil bared his teeth silently. Excuse him if fashion hadn’t been his top-priority while caged. He’d barely been permitted baths and preening was virtually impossible with his hands tied.
“I can assure you that we keep our merchandise in prime condition,” the shopkeeper said, unlocking the cage door. The pinkette hummed. He shrugged the cape off, revealing a black poet’s shirt, ruffles adorning the sleeves.
Rich bastard, Phil thought.
Phil hissed, shuffling as far back as he could from the door. He could feel Wilbur pressed against his stomach doing the same. The shopkeeper frowned but the stranger stepped closer.
“Its name?”“We prefer to let the customers choose,” the shopkeeper replied smoothly. “Helps build a bond.”
The pinkette crouched, grabbing Phil’s chin and angling it so their eyes met.
“Your name?” he said, voice softer than before. Phil was quiet for a moment, considering.
He snapped at the man, lunging forward.
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OR; Dehumanization, Hybrids as Pets AU
OR OR; 3M GodFight fic I
Series
- Part 1 of 3M God Fight 2024!!
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Summary
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“Do you remember?” Wilbur asked, trying to keep his voice soothing. “Do you remember how he died? You were fighting the heroes and Dream was on the rooftop.” His tone was sweet and smooth, cloying like honey.
“Tommy’s dead, Phil. Do you think his life was worth hundreds of others?
All of the fight seemed to leave Phil’s body at once and he curled in on himself, silent. “Do you remember, Phil?”
“I think,” he said slowly, “that I’d like to go back now.” Wilbur hummed, helping the elytrian to his feet.
The League wanted progress and they’d made some.
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OR; O!Neo Trio Rehabilitation AU
OR OR; 3M GodFight fic II
Series
- Part 2 of 3M God Fight 2024!!