1 - 20 of 253 Bookmarks by firthjpeg
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It starts the day Patrick discovers that David doesn't always wear black underwear.
OR Patrick discovers something about David, then he learns something about himself.
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
04 Sep 2021
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As part of a birthday parcel from a friend, David receives a tiny burlap sac containing two sex dice - one that stipulates location, and the other spelling out position.
It's kinda like YAHTZEE. Or something.
Will be a chaptered work of unknown length, but let's face it, it's just smut, so each chapter kinda stands alone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,429
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 91
- Kudos:
- 278
- Bookmarks:
- 26
- Hits:
- 5,550
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
27 Aug 2021
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The continuing sexploits of Schitt's Creek.
You don't need to read the others in the series to follow this one.
Mostly canon compliant, Patrick's POV for the evening of S05E11 Meet the Parents(Title from Tina Turner's "Baby Get It On")
Series
- Part 12 of Schitt Sex
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
27 Jul 2021
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He was almost sure Patrick would try it if he asked him to. The trouble was, he didn’t want to ask.
Series
- Part 1 of Variables
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
11 Jun 2021
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Patrick hums thoughtfully.
“You’ve jerked off during a storm before, haven’t you.”
David waits too long to be able to respond with anything but the truth. Another flash of lightning accompanies his answer.
“The energy is just really good, Patrick.”
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
01 Jun 2021
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Patrick’s never met anyone who cares about food the way David cares about food.
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
09 May 2021
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David is just going to have to come up with something, because there is just no way that he can let Patrick Brewer catch him going to another of the town's many weddings on his own.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,402
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 105
- Kudos:
- 473
- Bookmarks:
- 66
- Hits:
- 5,944
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
02 May 2021
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"Y’know - I was thinking of something. Something we haven’t tried yet.”
David punctuates his words with a wicked spread of his fingers, sending a pulse of want through Patrick’s body. “Unh… uh-huh?” Patrick manages.
“I think it’d be really, really hot,” David murmurs conversationally, “if you rode my cock.”
Or: with a little guidance, Patrick tries something new.
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
26 Apr 2021
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David and Patrick are married for two hundred and eighty-one days the first time they share Jake’s dick between them.
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
11 Apr 2021
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David is the vainest creature who has ever walked this Earth, and so the fact that Patrick can’t control himself around David is the most intensely flattering thing that’s ever happened to him.
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
11 Apr 2021
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David sets the dry dish down on the counter. He decides in that moment that if Patrick needs a reason to say ‘fuck’ then he’s going to give him one.
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
08 Apr 2021
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It’s an attractive thought, that changing your life could be as easy as doing a hard thing.
Instead of moving to Schitt’s Creek, Patrick decides to hike fifteen hundred miles of the Pacific Crest Trail, through the wilderness, alone. He ends up meeting someone else with something to prove.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,758
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 708
- Kudos:
- 1,456
- Bookmarks:
- 575
- Hits:
- 17,154
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
04 Apr 2021
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I think we should focus on the business, Patrick said.
It hasn't been easy.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,657
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 112
- Kudos:
- 701
- Bookmarks:
- 120
- Hits:
- 6,485
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
01 Apr 2021
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Still, it's true that Patrick can have his shy side. He likes to be a gentleman – Mr. Order Whatever You Want I'm Paying and Mr. Here Let Me Fix That For You and Mr. No David Not In the Backseat I Want It to Be Special – so David can't entirely rely on Patrick's willingness to charge forward for the greater good.
Series
- Part 3 of Numerology
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
01 Apr 2021
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“I just don’t get why Ted asked you to feed the animals. I didn’t even know you two knew each other.”
“I run into him at the Cafe every morning. You know, before I open our store for its normal hours of operation.”
David narrows his eyes but steps closer. “I don’t appreciate that tone.”
Patrick’s breath hitches as he feels David’s hot on his cheek. “Give me ten minutes - ”
“You said five.”
“Let’s compromise with seven,” he nearly gasps.
Or, Patrick and David need privacy. They'll lower their standards to get it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 73
- Kudos:
- 438
- Bookmarks:
- 35
- Hits:
- 4,252
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
31 Mar 2021
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Patrick’s tongue darts out against his lower lip. Something sinks heavy from his chest to his stomach, pooling hot inside him.
“Fuck me,” he whispers. Soft, and experimental.
It has a… a feeling in his mouth. A shape and a taste, something sweet and sharp and new, but still familiar. It’s something he’s heard so many times, he has such an intimate history with it, but never like this. It sounds different in his voice. It feels different in his throat, on his tongue.Or, Patrick learns what he's allowed to have.
Series
- Part 2 of In Progress
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
27 Mar 2021
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Bookmarked by firthjpeg
24 Mar 2021
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The problem is how vehemently David hates pet names.
It would be one thing if he was just ambivalent, or if his ire was confined to one or two names—the most egregious, maybe, like baby or sweetheart, or the truly tacky like lover or cutie. But he’s never really done things by halves.
Or, David works through some big feelings.
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
18 Mar 2021
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Patrick orders a truly ridiculous amount of lube and just smirks when David’s mouth drops open at the sheer quantity that arrives on their doorstep. Patrick makes him close his eyes while he hides bottles in random locations all over the house. There are certainly far worse quarantine prospects than this.
Series
- Part 1 of Quarantine 2020
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
17 Mar 2021
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Patrick spends a week in January at his parents' fishing cabin, sorting through memories and trying to figure out if enough of his past remains to rebuild relationships with his family and Rachel, while not losing who he's become with David. David, of course, helps.
A story about making peace with all the versions of yourself, inspired by Bon Iver's album For Emma, Forever Ago.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,914
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 143
- Kudos:
- 429
- Bookmarks:
- 104
- Hits:
- 4,617
Bookmarked by firthjpeg
17 Mar 2021