18 Works by goldengrub
Listing Works
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Old drafts I never finished and forgot about.
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The heat gets to everyone, now and then. It's a good thing Dennis is smart enough to pull out the hose before Charlie's hygine habits drive everyone insane.
If he gets a little show for it, well, that's just a bonus.
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you said I could only leave you once we were both dead by goldengrub
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
04 Apr 2025
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She thinks, I tried to kill you, once. I'll probably do it again, and again and again. God's first cruelest joke is that I'll never succeed.
His second is that I don't even want to.
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hitching, hooking, and hoping for better highs by goldengrub
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
21 Feb 2025
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Facing his fears the hard way probably isn't the best way to go about learning to be a decent human being, but Charlie's always been the kind of guy who has to have the sense beat into him before he can make any real growth. Why go to rehab when he can just quit cold turkey and save himself the money?
Well, rehab has better company, for starters.
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Mac has helped Charlie with everything over the years. His homework, cutting his hair, his pathetic attempts at flirting with that waitress chick.
So, Mac's perfectly fine, if not estatic, to help Charlie become a man.
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"I know you think you're dead, and this might not help at all, but do you want to have violent, desperate sex? Does death rid us of our ability to be intimate, or can I still visit your bones over and over again? Will it help to know that your skin feels warm against lips and even if your limbs won't work, you're still my best friend? I don't care if death is meant to do us part. Love is cold, cold like a corpse, and I want to hold yours. I want to make yours. I wish you'd hold mine. I wish we were capable of touching without the hardened steel and the scent of decay between us."
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the consequences of a breeding kink by goldengrub
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
28 Jan 2025
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Nothing good ever comes of falling victim to Dennis' sexual manipulations, but to be entirely frank, Charlie didn't really need to be manipulated; he was drunk, horny, and Dennis happened to be offering to fill him so full of cum he'd look six months pregnant.
They really should've known better than to tempt fate for the sake of a sloppy fuck.
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An Alternate Universe in which Dennis gets Charlie pregnant in the Boggs episode. Chaos ensues.
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Someday, they might be very different people.
They'll hold onto hope of that, however buried it might be.
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sigmund freud, the father of modern psychology by goldengrub
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
22 Jan 2025
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Things to do when you catch your father nailing your best friend into a nasty pull out mattress:
1. Kick their asses
2. Run away and vomit in the nearest trashcan
3. Commit SuicideThings not to do when you catch your father nailing your best friend into a nasty pull out mattress:
1. Jerk off while they familially and sexually cuck you
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you're my lover, i'm your brother by goldengrub
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
20 Jan 2025
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Shouldering his way between them, Mac snaps, "shut the hell up," and Dennis gives them one of those funny looks. The kind that implies he knows too much for a guy who only ever talks about himself.
"You guys are so white trash."
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so they'd feel just empty as him by goldengrub
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
24 Dec 2024
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He's not even sure why he does it. There are these rules he's set in place, to keep life moving smoothly, little lines in the sand he must never cross, no matter how badly they taunt him. It's not some big explosion that causes him to dance all over those lines, not a fight, nor insult, nor death. He simply wakes up one morning and wonders why the fuck he should care about keeping this pathetic bunch of addicts happy.
They should worship him. Regardless of what he might do to them, they should fucking worship him.
// Dennis bangs every member of the gang. It goes about as well as you might expect.
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your greedy eyes upon me (and then i come undone) by goldengrub
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
21 Nov 2024
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Then, he hears it. A shift in the night, leaves rustling, a branch breaking. All sounds that have become entirely familiar, ones that paint him a perfect picture in his head: Charlie, late on his schedule, attempting to scramble up the tree just outside of Dennis' window as quickly as possible.
Suppressing a smile, Dennis opens his curtains. Let the fun begin.
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An alternate universe, in which Charlie stalks Dennis rather than The Waitress.
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It ends how it started: Charlie and Mac against the world. From Philadelphia to Arizona, through thick and thin, with every change and distance that grew between them.
Even after all these years, Mac is the coolest person in Charlie's universe.
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Charlie and Dennis find God in ways Mac wouldn't approve.
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It's the kind of thing you'd pick up at a Blockbuster, for a lonely night in. Spooky festivities all around and yet he's here, watching some chick be stabbed between the tits by a guy in a plastic mask. It isn't all that bad, what with the popcorn and the shots made to look like bloody syringes.
But when Dennis grins and lowers his shitty, dollar-store Halloween mask, Charlie feels a whole lot like he's about to get a blade between the tits. And that excites him way more than it should.
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A collection of horror-related CharDen fics, to get into the Halloween spirit.
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first times are meant to be special, aren't they? by goldengrub
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
25 Oct 2024
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Of course, she's still Dirtgrub. Her hair is largely unbrushed, her clothes are worn and faded, the girlish dollar-store bodyspray does nothing to cover up the scent of grime, glue, and pot that sticks to her clothes. She'd be pretty hot if she put in the effort, but this isn't entirely about sexual attraction.
No, this is about Dennis being the hottest guy he knows, and Joyce being a girl in need of having the virginity fucked out of her.
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something my pill-head mother taught me by goldengrub
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
12 Oct 2024
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Dennis can remember it clearly: when Frank was being particularly fussy, staying out too late or letting his voice get too loud, Barbara would forfeit a few pills to his food. To keep him placated, to keep him home, to knock him the fuck out. His mother had always been a strong, powerful woman; she kept her family together, regardless of what she might have to resort to in order to do so.
Dennis is no different. He'll do the shitty thing, the thing everyone else is too cowardly to put effort into. He will bring the straggler home and it'll be a favor to everyone involved. They'll thank him, one day.
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Title card: Dennis Gets Charlie Addicted to Ketamine
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playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home by goldengrub
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
10 Oct 2024
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He could wash the sheets, cover familiarity with lavender detergent, could go to sleep clean and distinctly alone.
He won't. He'll avoid the kitchen, jack off instead of going to work, and he'll refuse to wash his sheets. His hair will get greasy and his mascara will smear and somehow, he'll find cat hair in his mouth. He'll miss a dog he kept tied up to a tree in the rain, and he'll sleep on filthy fucking sheets, and no one will stop him, because they're all doing the same.