hemoanemic
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My New Roommate is An Insufferable Prick! by timeboundGentry (hemoanemic)
Fandoms: Homestuck
16 Jun 2026
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Summary
Your name is SOLLUXANDER CAPTOR, (although everyone just calls you SOLLUX) and your new roommate is AN INSUFFERABLE PRICK.
Look, moving to a new city is fine and all, alright? You could handle moving to a new city completely fine.
But more than six hours away from everything you've known your whole life, in a city practically thousands of times the size of your town? Well, maybe you need some time to adjust.
You're handling it, okay? You are. You really are. You'd probably be handling it better, though, if your roommate was actually a tolerable human being.
At least it's only a year. You can probably survive for one year.
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Your name is DAVID ELIZABETH STRIDER, and you are FLAT BROKE.
As if the prospect of college wasn't bad enough on its own, you've found yourself fresh out of cash at the start of the semester. Being the suave businessman you are, you obviously have a few tricks up your sleeve, but... well, some of them are things you'd rather not dip your toes back into. Too harsh for the kind of vibe you're trying to build, y'know?
'Sides, you're an adult now. A real independent adult. So... Yeah, you've got this handled.
Unfortunately for you, however, the guy you're stuck rooming with is a piece of shit. Well, you guess you'll just have to deal with it.
It beats the alternative.
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He doesn't know how Rose kept it together when her Mom (their mom? He never knew the woman. He mentally feels the coolness of his turntables under his fingertips and thinks that maybe he could've.) died. Dave's pretty sure watching his Bro bite the bullet before his eyes would've made him totally fucking snap.
Not that finding the body was any better. Dave's gotten used to finding bodies by now.
His Land is— was?— so hot that, for the longest while, they— his corpses, he means– well, the corpses in general— wouldn't go cold. It was weird, holding something soft and warm and so like him and so, so dead. Dave used to like dead things. Watching them decompose, seeing them break down into their barest components.
Because your aspect is Time, he thinks, and then immediately feels sickened by the thought.
Dave wants to fix things. There are things that eat at him, day in and day out, but he'll never act on it because he doesn't act on shit until someone else asks him to. Then someone does, and things go very, very wrong from there.
But Dave's got it all figured out, so there's no need to worry! He and his new pals will take care of it.
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Lucio finally looks back to Ren, though Ren only catches a hint of the colour of his eyes; his face is still fully turned away, like there’s something on it he doesn’t want Ren seeing. “What... does someone usually do with a textbook once they’re done with it?”
Ren’s lips almost part, but don’t. Instead, he speaks as though at the height of his composure. “It depends on the kind of person, as most things do.”
“I see.” Lucio’s eyes leave his face, but remain in view. His expression is the same. Maybe a little pained, if Ren had to hazard a guess. But he doesn’t, so he won’t. His expression is the same. “I don’t know much about books. If I’m wrong, you’ll have to correct me.”
Ren doesn't know much about Lucio, and Lucio doesn't know much about him. But it's not for lack of trying, and it's not for wholly altruistic reasons, anyway.
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He nods. It’s hard to breathe. But he’s trying. He’s doing a good job, right? Breathing. In and out. His leg burns like it’s been drenched in lava. He hasn’t seen so much of his own blood in his life. Usually when things hit you they kill you.
It’s almost like this thing enjoys the chase more than the catching.
Truth be told, Baron's never had to treat his own wounds before.
Series
Recent series
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Fuck! I’m Flat Broke in Houston & My New Roommate is An Insufferable Prick! feat. 222mg of Irony, QID by timeboundGentry (hemoanemic)
Fandom Homestuck
16 Jun 2026
- Words:
- 10,111
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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savinggrace/nineofsomething hype moments and aura by IX (hemoanemic)
Fandom Abandoned (Web Series)
19 Feb 2026
- Words:
- 7,718
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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thou shalt/thou shalt not by cruelprinceoftheunderworld (hemoanemic)
Fandom The Hundred Line -Last Defense Academy- (Video Game)
14 Jun 2025
Summary
paired eitaku ending 41 fics :)
- Words:
- 11,083
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 5
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- Words:
- 7,461
- Works:
- 3
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- Words:
- 2,286
- Works:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
In which Sollux Captor, troll of many curses including the most cursed love life, falls hard in pale pity for Dayvhe, apparently the planet's least romanceable troll. In which Dayvhe himself is basically more secret vault than troll at this point and generally wishes that everyone else would just chill the fuck out for once.
Contains slow burn 'will they/won't they' pale rom, frankly scandalising pale displays, a best friendship for the ages, highly illegal non-quadrant romance, polyamorous non-quadranted romance, inadvisable body mods, poor decisions and revolutionary content. Contains more plot than strictly needed comprising of shocking revelations, intergenerational hoofbeastshit, and outright rebellion. Unsuitable for trolls seven sweeps and under.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,113,741
- Chapters:
- 69/69
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 1,923
- Kudos:
- 2,167
- Bookmarks:
- 443
- Hits:
- 95,291
Bookmarked by timeboundGentry (hemoanemic)
03 Apr 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
I love davesol so muxh. Please god. I havent finished this fic but its so good. I talked about it on the fundraiser stream a little its like my Yaoi Bible
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Tags
Summary
Dirk summons a demon for the exclusive purpose of 'cathartic boning.' He gets what he wants.
NOTE: This fic is ergodic (think House of Leaves), which means it cannot be downloaded for offline perusal on your kindle/pdf reader. Also has CYOA elements, so clicking “Entire Work” will make the fic impossible to read.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 124,302
- Chapters:
- 82/82
- Comments:
- 855
- Kudos:
- 1,120
- Bookmarks:
- 320
- Hits:
- 34,641
Bookmarked by timeboundGentry (hemoanemic)
21 Mar 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
how do i even begin to phrase this recommendation. This is the holy bible of dirkjake. Ive read this fic so many times its seared into the backs of my eyelids. Its so good. Its just so fucking good. I never bookmark things but if i ever lose this fic ill scream and cry and slit my throat. Its genuinely just brilliant on all levels from characterisation to formatting to plot structure. If this was a book id read it in a heartbeat. I would give my life for this fic. Its so good.