lilhumanoid
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Recent works
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I Don't Want Anything to Do With Magic by lilhumanoid
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
05 Oct 2025
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Summary
I don't want anything to do with magic ever again. I swear to every god who has ever ignored me, magic can rot. Magic can choke. Gale can take all the magic in the world right back to Waterdeep and stuff it somewhere indelicate, because an enchanted door has just demanded I show it a memory of my “first love,” and I am seriously considering letting the cultists have me instead.
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Jamie, Astarion, Minthara, and Shadowheart are running from Absolutists in an underground tunnel system when a mysterious enchanted door appears (very conveniently) and demands a small price for safe passage: a chance to view one memory from each of them of their first loves. Jamie's ready to get it over with. Minthara is offended. Shadowheart is intrigued—memory is involved, after all. Astarion is... well. Less than pleased, to say the least.
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[Title from 'All of This Will End' by Indigo De Souza]
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The party’s lost in the snow because of course they are. And vampires, even very beautiful ones, cannot generate body heat. In fact, they are cold to the touch, so vampires who happen to be in love with mortals should abstain from cuddling their living loves while it’s freezing, or they’ll *both* be as cold as death. But what if the vampire turns into a bat, and a very small one at that?
tl;dr Astarion gets cold and turns into a tiny vampire bat because he doesn't know how to ask his beloved to cuddle him, and he feels warmer + safer than ever.
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The first time blood smelled appealing, like food, it was his own.
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A short exploration of vampiric hunger starting the night Astarion is turned, followed by the night he wakes up in a coffin underground. The tags sound rough, but it's not graphic, just grim.
[Title from 'HATE PARTY' by bodyimage and DeathbyRomy]
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Astarion and Jamie are unexpectedly babysitting Gale's neurodivergent daughter, Ella. It's Friday, which means they're meant to go to the farmer's market and the blood co-op. Star decides to skip the blood co-op—it is not a place for mortal children, darling—but Ella has other ideas.
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The first of a series of nonconsecutive one-shots in the modern era ✨with flavor✨. Events occur post-Netherbrain, post-Cazador, post-everything, with all my headcanons (see notes for the lore).
Series
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I'll Keep You Safe, You Keep Me Strong by lilhumanoid
Fandoms: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime 1997-2023)
27 Oct 2024
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Summary
It's been a tough week. That's always the case for Jessie, James, and Meowth when a month winds down and the rent deadline approaches. Just a day after Jessie and James have a stress-induced fight in their cramped apartment, James receives a cruel letter from his estranged parents. How did they find him here, in what was supposed to be a safe place? It's too much all at once, and James has a full-blown panic attack—his first in years. Luckily, Jessie's there to help.
[AU where the trio have left Team Rocket and are working civilian jobs in the city. Jess + Jim are queerplatonic partners.]
[Title from 'Bros' by Wolf Alice]
Recent series
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Baldur's Gay + Queer Co-Parenting Collective by lilhumanoid
Fandom: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
23 Jun 2025
- Words:
- 7,666
- Works:
- 1
Recent bookmarks
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A Vampire Comes to Dunwall by Zireza
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games), Dishonored (Video Games)
08 Oct 2025
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Summary
Kill the Royal Protector and Seduce the Empress. Easy, right? Astarion can do it. True, Cazador has never sent him after such dangerous targets before, but this is his chance. Maybe, if he succeeds, Cazador will allow him some measure of… what? Freedom? Dare he dream? In the end, Astarion must do as he is told. He is a vampire spawn, enslaved to his master. There is no escape.
Bookmarked by lilhumanoid
04 Aug 2025
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Such Great Heights by orphan_account
Fandoms: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
05 Jan 2018
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Summary
Jessie and James are on the no-fly list now.
Bookmarked by lilhumanoid
09 Nov 2024
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Summary
All it does is sleep during the daytime. At night, it patrols its territory with its eyes aglow.
(He might sound and act like a human but he’s a pokemon through and through. He looks like a pokemon, he knows an attack or two, he’s… okay well that’s about the gist of it.)
Bookmarked by lilhumanoid
13 Oct 2024
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Summary
Sometimes, being Team Rocket comes second to being a lonely twerp's support system.
(Set some time during Journeys, on a trip to Alola.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,199
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 15
- Kudos:
- 402
- Bookmarks:
- 69
- Hits:
- 2,750
Bookmarked by lilhumanoid
13 Oct 2024
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Intercepting Rockets by Superfloxes
Fandoms: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
13 Mar 2025
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Summary
Jessie, a beautiful but quick-tempered thief who lives by the scraps she can find. James, a pampered boy who yearns for freedom from his family and fiancé. One day, their paths cross when Jessie attempts to rob James’s estate and ends up staying the night instead. What was supposed to be a one night deal quickly becomes something greater.
OR, an AU where Team Rocket as an organisation does not exist, and our couple only meets in adulthood. OR OR, I tried to make an interesting AU for a story and accidentally recreated ‘Lady and the Tramp’.
Bookmarked by lilhumanoid
13 Oct 2024