1 - 20 of 38 Bookmarks by neilistic
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Abraxas Malfoy must get married, and sire an heir. He is also in love with Tom Riddle, who does not like sharing.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,516
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 44
- Kudos:
- 65
- Bookmarks:
- 18
- Hits:
- 1,058
Bookmarked by neilistic
22 Nov 2025
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Threatened with the loss of her trust fund allowance, wild child Pansy Parkinson takes her mother up on an offer she can't refuse: a job at the Ministry of Magic as personal secretary to tightly wound bureaucrat Percy Weasley.
The job is demanding, and so is her boss, in ways that Pansy never could have imagined.
When their mutual desires begin to spin out of control, how will Pansy convince her boss that sometimes, the only rules you need to follow are your own?
A loving tribute to the pure and criminally underappreciated magic that is the ParkWeasel ship, and the 2002 film Secretary.
Series
- Part 2 of Workplace Shenanigans
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,964
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 13
- Comments:
- 628
- Kudos:
- 4,671
- Bookmarks:
- 1,844
- Hits:
- 130,700
Bookmarked by neilistic
25 Oct 2025
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Summary
The true Time-Turner was slammed savagely into Hermione's throat. It shattered against her neck, bits of glass and gold piercing into her skin. The last thing she saw before blackness consumed her was a plume of metallic dust and vitreous fragments, tiny prisms dancing behind her eyelids.
(In which Hermione accidentally ends up in 1950, pitted against an ascending Dark Lord in his prime, caught in the entanglement of pureblood politics, dark magic, and Tom Riddle's interest)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 516,319
- Chapters:
- 80/80
- Collections:
- 89
- Comments:
- 13,270
- Kudos:
- 30,703
- Bookmarks:
- 7,012
- Hits:
- 1,372,035
Bookmarked by neilistic
17 Sep 2025
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The Malfoy family is not pleased with the announcement of a Marriage Law, but they are determined to get the best out of it, of course. And the best is clearly Hermione Granger. Hermione, however, would rather die.
Overall Winner of the 'Something Worth Fighting For' competition hosted by Quills & Parchment, along with winner of Best Angst, Best Dark, Judges’ Favorite, and Fan Favorite. Also, Runner-Up in the Pass the Tissues (Best Hurt/Comfort) category of the Spring 2017 Dramione Fanfiction Forum Awards.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,646
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 544
- Kudos:
- 3,314
- Bookmarks:
- 1,102
- Hits:
- 92,704
Bookmarked by neilistic
10 Sep 2025
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Summary
Hermione Granger is not in love with her husbands.
She marries them anyway—by law, by magic, by political compromise—then moves into the guest cottage they build her on the Dorset coast. It has built-in bookshelves, custom tile work, and a faint smell of sea salt and lavender. She works late, eats dinner with them sometimes, and goes to bed alone.
They are not in love. But they are trying.
Point is, they’re all still figuring it out.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,443
- Chapters:
- 5/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 44
- Kudos:
- 180
- Bookmarks:
- 85
- Hits:
- 3,455
Bookmarked by neilistic
02 Sep 2025
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Nothing Left to Burn but the Map by sportfucker (SportFucker)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
18 Jun 2025
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Summary
A post-war story about two men who ran out of road and chose the sea instead.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,047
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 25
- Bookmarks:
- 8
- Hits:
- 577
Bookmarked by neilistic
24 Aug 2025
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Summary
Quietened in the stillness of an ongoing war, Lily Evans encounters a sickness blown in by the wind.
Or
Lucius Malfoy defects and Lily Evans is defective.
Bookmarked by neilistic
24 Aug 2025
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Bookmarked by neilistic
24 Aug 2025
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Summary
Nine months after *Sting Like a Dee*, Draco is still living above the gym in Thornton Heath, still broke, still in possession of one fork, and still very much in love with Dudley Dursley—who wears grey joggers like a threat and lime green Crocs like a dare.
Things are simple. Or at least, simple-adjacent.
Enter Hermione Granger: single, stressed, and on the verge of a full-blown sexual crisis. A chance encounter at the Croydon community pool turns into a drink, a kiss, and a half-joking, half-hopeful suggestion that maybe they should all sleep together.
Draco says he’s gay. Hermione says she was only being polite. Dee says nothing at all.
And yet.
Featuring:
• Unsolicited dick pics
• Croydon’s most hostile cat (still)
• Draco’s slow-burning bi panic
• Hermione in her “just get laid” era
• Rom-coms as a coping mechanismBookmarked by neilistic
23 Aug 2025
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Summary
Draco Malfoy turns thirty, loses the last of his money, and inherits a suspiciously timed flat in Thornton Heath from a disowned Hufflepuff aunt he’s never met. The flat is terrible. The boiler wheezes. The only utensil is one fork. But downstairs is Dee—ripped, kind, in grey sweatpants—who offers Draco leftover curry and upends his entire emotional equilibrium.
Dee runs the gym below. Dee fixes the fuse box. Dee wears lime green Crocs and calls him “mate.” Dee, as it turns out, is Dudley Dursley.
It should be a disaster. Instead, it’s the best part of Draco’s birthday.
Featuring:
• bureaucratic inheritance magic
• a surprisingly hot Dudley Dursley
• Croydon’s most hostile cat
• Draco in emotional freefall
• cursed teacups and cupboard lemons
• joggers as a threat and a promise
• one fork
• unsolicited curry as courtshipBookmarked by neilistic
22 Aug 2025
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Liable to Be Recalled at Any Time by sportfucker (SportFucker)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Aug 2025
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Summary
After the war, Draco Malfoy files a relocation form, registers his Paris address with the Ministry, and waits to be summoned for trial. Any day now, he thinks.
Nine years later, he’s still waiting.
He restores frescoes. He rarely uses magic. He’s not hiding, exactly, but no one’s come looking. Then, on a Thursday in September, a metro door opens, and Hermione Granger steps out.
Bookmarked by neilistic
19 Aug 2025
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Summary
In the middle of a war, Hermione is stuck in the middle of nowhere.
With Draco Malfoy.
Without her friends, her magic, or her books, she has only her wits to rely on to survive her plight- to say nothing of her company. They've declared a truce, but somehow Draco keeps slipping past all her defences.Stranded together in the wilderness, Hermione and Draco are in for cold nights, endless snark, bad wine, and some interesting scars.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,811
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 37
- Comments:
- 1,432
- Kudos:
- 15,146
- Bookmarks:
- 4,635
- Hits:
- 318,012
Bookmarked by neilistic
06 Aug 2025
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Summary
Gregory Goyle knew that he’d never been the smartest bloke, but he supposed it didn’t really matter. His bride-to-be was more than smart enough for the both of them. She looked awfully pretty on their wedding day, all dressed in white, even though she didn’t smile, and her eyes were sort of red, almost like she’d been crying.
She glanced back towards the door where the two Aurors who had brought her were stationed with their wands out. Greg remembered hearing that Padma Patil had made a run for it and got tossed in Azkaban for a while. He couldn’t blame her—she was supposed to marry Marcus Flint, who was an absolute twat. She’d had to marry him anyway in the end, so the whole thing ended up being just a waste of time.
Hermione kept her gaze trained on the door for a long moment before turning back to him, still unsmiling. “Let’s just get this over with.”
Bookmarked by neilistic
27 Jul 2025
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Summary
On the 31st of October, an eleven-year-old girl will bring about the end of the world. According to prophecy, anyway, and everyone knows those are infallible.
Fortunately, the world has unlikely heroes in the form of Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy, who've selflessly agreed to put aside their mutual hatred and long-standing prank war in order to find the girl and stop the apocalypse. If only they could be certain they have the right child…
For fans of Terry Pratchett and dramatic irony, a comedy of errors about two people so stubbornly in denial, Fate itself decides to step in.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 116,391
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 1,719
- Kudos:
- 3,433
- Bookmarks:
- 2,302
- Hits:
- 191,045
Bookmarked by neilistic
11 Jul 2025
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Summary
Narcissa Black learned how to glide from her mother. Her sister Andromeda taught her how to feel, and Bella taught her how to lie. She learned strategy from her father. And from her husband… Well. She was still trying to discern what lesson Lucius Malfoy was teaching her. || LUCISSA set in The Right Thing to Do universe.
Series
- Part 3 of Rights and Wrongs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,514
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 643
- Kudos:
- 5,467
- Bookmarks:
- 1,002
- Hits:
- 256,245
Bookmarked by neilistic
12 Jun 2025
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Summary
Hermione has never mastered Occlumency, so she blocks her mind with violent thoughts whenever she and Tom Riddle cross paths. One day in History of Magic, she accidentally thinks of his penis while she tries to come up with new torture methods.
'Trust Riddle,' Hermione thinks, 'to not bat an eye at maiming and murdering, but the thought of someone touching his prick makes him freak out.'
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,340
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 197
- Kudos:
- 4,896
- Bookmarks:
- 1,331
- Hits:
- 95,366
Bookmarked by neilistic
16 Jan 2025
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Summary
Now, twenty years old and done with boys and looking forward very much to putting her hand down some lucky girl’s shirt later this evening, Ginny looks at Dean Thomas’s gold-painted fingernails and feels heat pool between her legs.
Fuck, she thinks, and flushes, annoyed, ashamed, and then Seamus Finnegan comes up behind Dean and kisses him deep on the mouth, and Ginny’s heart starts to pound.
Bookmarked by neilistic
06 Jan 2025
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Summary
All the screens flashed black and white simultaneously, scoreboards blinking excitedly, the same glorious name at the top of each list.
LordVoldemort.
(90s Gamer AU)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 114,875
- Chapters:
- 31/36
- Comments:
- 1,182
- Kudos:
- 1,153
- Bookmarks:
- 320
- Hits:
- 44,696
Bookmarked by neilistic
31 Dec 2024
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Summary
He steps straight out of the shadows one late autumn evening, but she is not afraid.
At least not at first.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 93,261
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 883
- Kudos:
- 1,726
- Bookmarks:
- 591
- Hits:
- 76,995
Bookmarked by neilistic
13 Dec 2024
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Summary
The latest in magical advancements is an enchantment that reveals the bearer’s romantic compatibility with another person. Effectively eliminating uncertainty from dating, the charm can tell you whether or not you’ve found The One with a precise, Hermione Granger-approved calculation of traits and preferences. It’s a foolproof method of predicting relationship happiness. It’s also, for Hermione, positively dreadful news. Dramione, post-war, soulmate AU. COMPLETE.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 98,052
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 25
- Comments:
- 1,482
- Kudos:
- 9,019
- Bookmarks:
- 4,267
- Hits:
- 429,669
Bookmarked by neilistic
11 Dec 2024