olly_octopus
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Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em by olly_octopus
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
18 Nov 2024
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Summary
"Are they still out there trying to catch us in the act?"
"Regrettably, yes."Crowley sighs and rolls the dice.
"How much did they have on it again? Fifty quid that we're having it off? Waste of a good fifty pounds. Ooh, the nanny and the gardener, how scandalous. Can you imagine?"
"Hahahaha, gracious. Um, huh, imagine," agrees Aziraphale, hoping Crowley doesn't pick up on his voice raising about four octaves. "I mean, don't they realise there are children around?"
"One child, poor sod." Crowley glances back out of the window, then back to Aziraphale, then he grins. "Hey. What do you say we have a bit of fun with this?"
"...Fun?"***
Or, a maid and a manservant place their bets and Crowley and Aziraphale aren't idiots. Kind of.
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Fraternising by olly_octopus
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV), What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
20 Oct 2024
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Bayezid the Thunderbolt, ex-Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, vampiric royalty in his own right and personal friend of Nandor’s, is getting taken to court by his ex-girlfriend for misleading her about what life as a vampire actually entails and for turning her at a point where her brain is still five years away from fully developing. It’s not great. He goes to Laszlo for legal representation, mostly out of a lack of other options.
Amidst the obvious ethical problems, Nandor struggles with the idea of turning as an act of love as well as the issue of how power should be negotiated in cases of vampire and human relationships — hitting a little too close to home for his comfort in unexpected places.
What with vampire society in shambles due to the possible legal implications of Bayezid’s ex winning the case and Guillermo’s distracting eyes, his week could be going better.
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“So I guess,” he says finally after a period of silence, “I guess what I’m asking is whether you could do something - anything - to make me… to help…” He trails off, hoping the djinn will get the jist and he won’t have to say it out loud.
“Hm. That is a conundrum.” The djinn sighs and adjusts his glasses. “And you know that I can’t change feelings, Nandor, you know I can’t just make you more attracted to her?”
“I know, I know. I just hoped maybe there’d be, I don’t know, a way around it? Get creative?”***
In which Nandor tries to find a way to increase his libido around Marwa, resulting in a less than ideal predicament involving a magically induced painful hard-on that just won't go down and no Marwa around to speak of.
Thank god Guillermo's the helpful sort.
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“It’s… sorry, what is it?”
Stede darts his tongue out to wet his lips. He looks very furtive. “A… massager.”
“Fuck off, what the hell is it supposed to massage?” Ed picks the glass ornament looking thing out of its box and turns out over in his hand. Stede breathes a nervous laugh.
“It’s a prostate massager, Ed.” He gives him a slight grin. “It goes inside you.”***
Alternatively, Ed tries to go about daily ship life as usual aboard the Revenge while having a glass prostate massager inside him. It goes as well as expected.
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Breakfast at Spanish Jackie’s Top Surgery by olly_octopus
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
25 Apr 2022
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Summary
Jim’s eyes shine. “So. Why are you here?”
Olu’s gaze burns a hole into his skull. Izzy coughs nervously. “I was… thinking about what you said. It was a lot.”
“Which bit? The bit with the golden calf? Or the Stede stuff? Or the whole wanting to fuck Blackbeard bit?”
“Lord give me strength,” mutters Olu under his breath.***
Blackbeard’s first mate and the partner of the man who he left for dead on an island weeks ago walk into a bar.
Things get complicated and entertaining very quickly.
Recent bookmarks
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Leonard can’t stop thinking about Sheldon training Penny with chocolate. There is no harm in trying it himself, right? Not like it will backfire badly or anything.
(Set right after S03E03: The Gothowitz Deviation)Bookmarked by olly_octopus
17 Dec 2025
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Cas is hit with what Dean calls a “fuck-or-die” spell. The Winchesters drive him back to the bunker at full speed, but he’s not going to make it – he needs help NOW. Dean passes the wheel to Sam, and hops into the Impala’s back seat. But there’s only so much pretending he and Castiel can do. If they’re going to fix this problem, they need to stop acting like they don’t want each other, and describe their desires. But quietly. Because poor Sam can only turn the radio up so loud.
- Language:
- English
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- 7,076
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Bookmarked by olly_octopus
23 Dec 2020
Bookmarker's Notes
best of a really good bunch for “fuck or die”! big huge fan of the absolute unbridled desperation going on, plus the voyerism undertones :)
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Alma Bonnet lives in a world in which women aren't their own. To escape her fate, she decides to run away and become a pirate - just like dear old dad.
- Language:
- English
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- 25,304
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- 18/?
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- 2
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- 90
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Bookmarked by olly_octopus
10 Jun 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
found this from a tumblr post, looks pretty awesome & im excited to read it :)
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Summary
It figured that the moment Stede's libido decided to rear its head, he’d be sharing a room.
When Stede finds himself fantasizing about Ed and desperate for relief, he's pleased to discover that Ed is fast asleep, which means Stede can basically go to town as long as he keeps himself reasonably quiet.
Ed is not fast asleep. Ed is not even a little bit asleep at all. Ed is listening to Stede pant and whisper his name, and he's losing his entire fucking mind about it.
Bookmarked by olly_octopus
03 Jun 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
larks ahoy, love Ed thinking he’s going to try subtlety on the transparently autistic man and equally love Stede’s delusional optimism about the schematics of jacking off in the same room as the guy you are imagining being inside. Brilliant, funny fic. And hot. Hot too.
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- Words:
- 36,825
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- 80
Bookmarked by olly_octopus
03 Jun 2022