12 Works by xiaq
Listing Works
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It takes a minute for Scott to compute ‘Kash Patel is here’ considering he’s already shotgunned two beers, is fucking exhausted, and as loath as he is to admit it, Rozanov is right: he’s getting old. “You mean the Director of the FBI? That Kash Patel?”
“Yes. Do you want to invite him in?”
He shares a glance with Vaughny—making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while still dancing along to the music—and Sully, who’s wearing not only a pair of goggles on his eyes but someone else’s on his head. Also, inexplicably, a feather boa.
“No?” Scott says.
“He said President Trump wants to call,” walkie-talkie guy insists, like this might be a compelling addition.
Vaughny licks the knife and puts it back in the open peanut butter jar. “Definitely no then.”
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No Dawn, No Day by xiaq
Fandoms: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek
25 Jun 2025
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“I will not apologize for speaking the truth,” the child says. “However, I regret if that truth has offended you.”
“Jesus Christ, kid,” Jim mutters.
“I am not offended,” Spock responds, as blandly as he is able. “I was remiss in casting such hasty judgment upon your guardian.”
”Father,” she corrects.
”Your father,” he agrees.
*****
An academy AU + Tarsus aftermath fic in which James T. Kirk ends up accidentally parentally bonded to an orphaned Vulcan child. When the father/daughter duo enroll in Star Fleet, hijinks ensue (mostly at the expense of Spock’s previously immaculate but quickly deteriorating self-control).
Winner of the 2025 Philon Award for a novel-length fic (!!!)
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“Sorry,” Steve says. “I’m sorry, I know this doesn’t make any sense to you, but can I just–”
Eddie lets him approach, this time. Lets him reach out to touch, to curl his fingers in the hem of Eddie’s shirt.
“Sorry, I know I probably sound crazy, I just––” he pulls it up, stares at Eddie’s side, and then lets out a hysterical little noise that sounds like a cross between a laugh and a sob.
“You’re ok,” Steve says.
His fingers are hot on Eddie’s skin, pressed light and shockingly reverent to the space between his hip and rib cage.
“You’re ok,” he repeats. It sounds like he’s trying to convince himself.
“Hey,” Eddie says. It comes out more breathless than he’d prefer but Steve fucking Harrington has him backed against a wall in a bathroom with his hands up Eddie’s shirt so he thinks a little lack of air is warranted. “Are you ok?”
The fingers on his abdomen flex. "No,” Steve says. His eyes are wide and fathomless and the look on his face is terrible. “No, I’m not even remotely ok.”
Series
- Part 1 of Steddie fics
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"I knew I liked girls," Robin says, "because I wanted to kiss girls.”
“Yeah. But how did you know it was more than the normal amount?”
“…the normal amount,” she repeats.
“Well, sure.” Steve scrubs a hand through his hair. “Everyone wants to kiss everyone a little bit, right? Like. How did you know it was more than the normal heterosexual amount?”
Robin cannot believe she’s going to have to say this out loud. She glances around the empty store just to make sure no one has somehow teleported in during the last two minutes.
“Steve. Steven. There is no normal heterosexual amount of wanting to kiss people of the same gender.”
He crosses his arms. “Well, that can’t be right.”
Series
- Part 2 of Steddie fics
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Where There's a Will There's a Way by xiaq
Fandoms: The Mandalorian (TV), Star Wars - All Media Types
01 Nov 2022
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Luke walks straight to Din and Din suddenly feels like he should be doing something with his hands.
“Hi,” he says.
“Hi,” Luke agrees, grinning. “So. I didn’t get your name, before. Grogu just calls you ‘Daddy’ in his head but I’m assuming I should call you something else.”
Din chokes a little.
*****
This is basically an Accidental Warlord Din Djarin fic in which Din plays the role of reluctant DILF leader with a heart of gold and Luke plays the role of initially distrusted twink who quickly becomes beloved by all (especially said warlord). The Mandalorians are like, "we've only had Luke Skywalker for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself."
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Be Gay, Do Crimes, Turn in Your Homework by xiaq
Fandoms: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
08 Jan 2022
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Post-Merrick, The Old Guard goes to college, is domestic, deals with some loose ends, and everyone gets a happy ending.
“I know you’re all as old as dirt, but I’m only 25,” Nile says. “I want to go out.”
“Pardon,” Joe says. “Andy is the only one who is as old as dirt.”
“Thank you, Joe,” Andy says.
“I, on the other hand,” Joe continues, “am as old as… a Bristlecone Pine. Or perhaps a well-preserved and striking Obelisk from the Axum empire, stolen by Mussolini's fascist soldiers in the 1930s, and finally repatriated to Ethiopia in 2002.”
“That’s weirdly specific,” Nile says.
“You should major in archeology this time, my love,” Nicky says.
“Mm.” Joe presses an absent kiss to Nicky’s temple. “There’s a thought. And I’m sure you aren’t suggesting it just because you want me to dress like that Indiana Jones.”
“Of course not. Though I would not object,” Nicky says serenely.
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The war was over.
Or at least that’s what the papers said.
They’d been saying it, for months, as if people needed reminding.
Maybe they did.
***
In which Harry and Draco both run away from their pasts and conveniently choose to hide in the same tiny American town.
It's super.
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Series
- Part 1 of Breakaway
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“Well,” Stiles says, “that continues to be offensive. I mean. I understood it was a little weird to be married when I was a teenager but I’m twenty now. A full-fledged adult. Like. Mature, and shit.”
Derek laughs.
“I’m serious! We have a mortgage. We do our taxes.”
“I do our taxes,” Derek says.
“We do couples yoga and monitor our fiber intake.”
“I don’t monitor my fiber intake.”
“That’s because you’re a werewolf and your colon can just regrow itself or whatever when you treat it badly. I have a human colon, Derek. It has human colon needs.”
“Please stop talking about your colon.”
Series
- Part 2 of The Adventures of Mage Kid and Wolf Nerd
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Phaedrus by xiaq
Fandoms: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom, James Bond (Craig Movies), Sherlock (TV)
05 Aug 2016
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The kid stilled, his eyes going sharp in a way that made James want to reach for his weapon. He remembered he didn’t have one, then remembered he was talking to a 13 year old the size of a cocker spaniel and he didn’t need a weapon anyway.
“Give me access to MI6’s computers and I could take over the world,” the boy said softly.
“Not exactly what we’re trying to accomplish, but an interesting option all the same,” James said, pursing his lips. “What’s your name?”
“Why?”
“Because, if I’m going to recruit you that’s something I’ll need to know.”
***This is the origin story of Q/James Bond's relationship had they met quite a bit sooner in their MI6 careers. It is also a continuation/expansion of Jealous Gods, but it should make sense as a stand-alone piece. It will be formatted like Jealous Gods, going back and forth between present and past. Apologies in advance for any mistakes!
Series
- Part 2 of Jealous Gods
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“Carry me,” Stiles says.
“No.”
“But I’m injured.”
“You have a rash,” Derek says. “On your arm. Your feet work just fine.”
“Please?”
“No. You weigh almost as much as I do. And you ate a pound of chicken at lunch.”
"Well, yeah, but I pooped like an hour ago, so.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“Don’t play, you love me.”
I do, Derek thinks, relatively horrified. I really do.
Series
- Part 1 of The Adventures of Mage Kid and Wolf Nerd
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Jealous Gods by xiaq
Fandoms: Sherlock (TV), James Bond (Craig Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
02 Oct 2014
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He wants to say:
If Pablo Naruda had seen your eyes he would have written twenty poems of love and one song of despair about them.
But people aren’t supposed to say things like that. So he doesn’t.
***
Au-John is invalided home much sooner in his military career, and is working at the hospital when Sherlock is brought into the ER.Series
- Part 1 of Jealous Gods