Work Text:
(Y/N) sighed reflectively as you pottered around your shared flat with Bucky, trying to keep yourself busy so you wouldn't mope around and become distracted again. Keeping yourself entertained, books, Netflix, occasionally seeing your friends, social media and sometimes just getting wine drunk and having karaoke in your flat alone. The days seemed to blend together, the weeks passing by in a blaze and you seemed to lose track of time, as if reality itself was falling apart. But god damn it, it was getting harder. Without him, it was like you were dream walking, like a piece of you was missing, waiting to be returned so everything felt right again. You wanted him back, you needed him back, you craved him. The sheets smelled like him, his stuff was still everywhere, you were occasionally using his body wash for the sake of comfort. Passing down the hours until he came home, when you were able to be together again.
After reclaiming his identity and moving on from Hydra, he still kept the winter soldier emblem, Natasha managing to convince him after removing the red from her ledger and becoming a better person. Taking something that was once used for malevolent reasons and turning it into something better. Not only was he working for SHIELD under Sergeant James Barnes, but he worked as a Mercenary on the side as the winter soldier. A few times he had worked with Wade Wilson, though he wasn't always happy at being involved given Wades methods. You knew he had struggled since losing Steve, then Natasha, his family being ripped apart from him and re-adapting to a world that had changed around him without him being aware of it. Reminding himself he wasn't a killer while being a supersoldier, putting his skills to use. But it made him money, putting his skills to use and there were always villains to kill, someone needed to do the dirty work. (Y/N) always reminded him he wasn't a bad person, he wasn't a monster and all of his crimes were by Hydra. He had always been a victim and a tool of Hydra, used as a puppet for their means against his will. During his missions (Y/N) would always stay home, looking after your little love nest and being his safe place to return to, knowing you were his home, you were his comfort, your arms were where he felt safest. Sometimes he would snuggle up to you and entangle himself in you, so you couldn't escape. Complaining in protest when you tried to escape him or when someone interrupted when he wanted you all to himself.
(Y/N) had a job working at a book swap coffee shop, it was a cute little independent chain with a vintage style to it, while keeping up with modern themes, blending the old and new together. You enjoyed the music and your coworkers were nice, you had regular customers and it had personality. Being able to work shifts kept you busy and distracted, but coming home to an empty flat was never easy, the loneliness of not having someone to cuddle. The memory of him was everywhere and it was driving you insane, the bed was bigger without him, the scent on his sheets had begun to fade. It felt strange, like you didn't belong, every fibre of your being calling out to him, looking for him. Suddenly, there was a loud meow breaking your train of thought, dragging you from your daydreams and taking you back to the flat.
You felt a warm fuzziness brush against your legs affectionately, (Y/N) smiled to himself fondly, you gazed downwards to see Alpine gazing up at you with her big blue eyes. Sending a mental note to whatever guardian spirit was looking out for you right now. That's right, your furry little companion, Alpine was a cat Bucky had rescued, abandoned by their owners when they moved out leaving her on the street. It was as if fate had brought them together, he took one look at her and fell in love, she happily climbed into his arms and felt safe. After cleaning her up, having her tested and cared for, he adopted her and the two became inseparable, Alpine imprinting on him. It took some time for her to accept you, given how close she was to Bucky, but she soon learned you were safe. She came to love you as much as James as her co-father. You knelt to pet her head affectionately, hoping to soothe her affections, sensing she would be anxious without him "You miss him too huh?".
(Y/N) rummaged through the bedroom, hoping to make it tidier than the chaos it was previously in, though Bucky was a tidy person things just happened to get chaotic while he was gone. Sometimes you just became to distracted or busy to notice the mess. Making piles of clothes to put away, changing the sheets and clearing away messes. You found a pile of Bucky's belongings left astray before he left, sometimes you would sit up together nostalgically and look through some of the restored belongings Steve had returned to him from his past. One of his familiar shirts, he had his favourites though he tended to deny that, everyone did. You rubbed the material against your fingers affectionately, a fond smile forming on your lips.
Holding it to your nose affectionately, breathing in his scent, it was like you were transported to where he was instantly, as if you were living it. The scent of his cologne, deodorant and familiar body wash filling your senses, his signature scent, the one that you loved so much. Making you wish he was here all the more, that you didn't have to use your imagination, tears pricked your eyes, it was as if he was here with you. It only made you miss him even more, wishing the mission would be over soon just so you could see him again. You loved the surprise of waking up to him or coming home to find him waiting, being scooped up in a hug like in a fairy-tale.
(Y/N) sighed heavily, you couldn't keep daydreaming, you had work to do, but this would make things easier. It would improve your mood and make you happier, slowly removing your shirt to replace it with his. It felt as though you were in his arms, enveloped in a warm comforting hug, as if he never left. It was a little bigger on you than Bucky, but that made you smile, it was better that way, like he was a giant. You felt as though this was your shield protecting you from the sadness you felt, making the pain easier. Alpine meowed beside you, picking up the scent of her master "It's ok, he'll come home soon" you smiled. Your stomach gurgled in response, you needed to eat something, you both did, maybe that would help you feel better.
(Y/N) sat on the couch comfortably still adorning Bucky's shirt, you refused to take it off, it was just part of you now. You knew you were going to wear it to bed too, until you inevitably had to wash it. Alpine rested on your lap as you enjoyed your (favourite takeout) and a glass of (red/white) wine, just another lonely night without Bucky but you made the best of it. Netflix helped. Suddenly, the silence was filled with the loud ringing of your phone, causing you to jump in surprise and Alpine to become startled, her head raising to follow the sound of the noise. You hadn't expected a phone call from anyone and you weren't due a shift today. You nearly spilled your food over you causing you to curse silently under your breath, relocating your dinner to grab your phone to see who was calling, eager to give them a piece of your mind.
Your heart fluttered and a dorky smile formed on your lips to see it was Bucky, wondering if he was missing you as much you missed him, stupid question. (Y/N) ushered Alpine onto your lap to which she happily agreed, rubbing against you affectionately. You answered the phone to which Alpine stared at the screen curiously "Hey babe" you responded with a sweet smile.
Bucky smiled at you through the screen, god he missed you so much, just the sound of your voice made him feel warm and fuzzy. Sam had been teasing him non stop about spacing out and occasionally looking at photos of you when he was alone. The time away was getting to him and he wanted to see you. He saw Alpine cuddled up to you which warmed your heart, knowing you were taking care of each other "hey sweetheart, how are you both doing?" he questioned. He missed his best guy, the doe eyed barista who knocked him off his feet and made him melt like warm butter. He had Bucky wrapped around his finger and nobody ever let him forget that.
You chuckled, that smile was like gazing at a star, bright and beautiful "Alpine is looking after me, aside from work she keeps things interesting" you joked. You had ways to pass the time and she was always getting into mischief. You didn't want him to worry about you, not if it distracted him on a mission and put him at risk. You wanted him home safe and you were willing to wait as long as it took for him to come home. You planned to tease him about it later, reminding him of how much you missed him, spending as much time together as possible, so many plans to make.
Bucky softened, he knew how hard it was for you to be apart from him, you were braver than you let on and he appreciated your patience. How difficult it was not to worry and feel lonely when he was on missions, never knowing how smoothly the mission would go, separation sucked big time. It was starting to get to him too, having such an important man in his life that made him feel so whole, he missed you like crazy. He missed curling up to your body, burying his nose in your shoulder, breathing in your scent and the warmth of your body against his own. The way you would kiss him goodbye, good morning or just because you wanted to, the taste of your lips against his own.
He missed it all, imprinting this conversation into his mind for when he next saw you, when he was finally able to touch you. His eyes roamed you subtly, before his eyes caught something, noticing your clothes, smirking in amusement. "Is that my shirt?" he chuckled in amusement, though he had never minded if you wanted to, you'd always been to shy to borrow his clothes in the past. The size difference between you was obvious, his blue eyes lighting up with mischief, it looked painfully cute on you.
You felt your cheeks heat with embarrassment, you had forgotten about that, you'd never expected him to call and you were just so happy to see him you spaced out. He noticed, of course he did, oh god what were you going to say? washing day, ran out of clothes? I mistook it for mine? Nope, you couldn't deny it. "I... Um....fuck off I miss you" you huffed shyly, it smelled like him, it made things easier, until you got the real thing. You could see the shit eating grin on his face, he was loving seeing you squirm, such a fucking tease. Some things never seemed to change.
Bucky tilted his head admiring you, a trait he regained from his days in the 40's as a sergeant, the inner playboy tease of the 40's. It made you weak in the knees, this charming Brooklyn boy with eyes as blue as the sky. The mischievous glint in his eyes making your stomach tingle with butterflies, god he was so fucking hot. (Y/N) had to be the luckiest guy in Brooklyn, hell the world "Suits you babe" he smiled. Your blush darkened, cupping your mouth and stumbling over words, was it hot in here? You knew that look anywhere, that mischievous glint in his eyes, that silent look of hunger when he wanted you. It couldn't be, was he? Was James Buchanan Barnes turned on by you wearing his clothes? No, you had to be imagining it.
Bucky smiled, watching you get all flustered, he swore you got ten times more handsome when you were embarrassed, your charm just increased. This would be on his mind for days, weeks, this would get him through this mission. The small simple things that he adored so much that warmed his heart, he had always been a romantic at heart. The memory of you wearing his shirt, this wasn't just sexy, it was fucking adorable. Compared to his body type, it was bulkier on you, bigger, but seeing you in his over-sized shirt was just too cute for him to handle. Like he had marked you as his own, telling everyone that you were his guy, that this soft doe eyed waiter was his boyfriend. His scent lingering on your skin, like animals would, something primal and predatory "It's fucking adorable" he hummed. Hell, he wanted you to wear more of his stuff, just to say it was his shirt, so he could brag about how cute you looked in his clothes.
You smiled bashfully, hearing these sweet words, seeing him looking at you like you were the moon, how special it made you feel. It reminded you of how loved you were, how lucky you were and just how much you wanted him home. "Hurry home so I can have the real thing" you huffed. You wanted to feel his body against your own, his fingers tracing your skin, the way he would run his fingers through your hair, how you would silently watch each other and know you were loved. His love language, intimacy, how sometimes you would rest against his chest as he read to you. You wanted cuddles damn it, you needed loving.
Bucky chuckled, biting his lip as he smiled at you "Yes sir" he teased, knowing how much you liked it when he said that. He loved to tease you, just to see how much you loved it. To know he adored you, that you would always be important. He couldn't wait to see you, to have you back in his arms, imprinting you into his body again.