Chapter Text
The space pirate ship was quiet as it drifted among the stars in the empty void of space. No planets were in sight, and there was nothing on radar, so the Space Pirates had used the time to take a load off. Even the pilot wasn’t working, preferring to lead the ship navigation to the auto-pilot. During this rare moment of quiet for these vicious scavengers, a group was sharing tales of their atrocities in the mess hall.
“So what did you do with them?” One pirate asked another.
“It was hilarious, so I promised, if she paid me, I’d let her kids go,” The other pirate chuckled.
“Let me guess, when she did you threw them off a cliff?”
“You guessed it!” The storytelling pirate laughed. “I let her live just to see her suffer!”
“It’s something I would do.” The listening pirate scratched his chin. “In fact, it was something I did!”
The Pirates all laughed.
“That’s funny, man.” A drinking pirate raised his glass. “Say, I ever tell you guys the time I kicked a puppy to death? Its whimpers were hilarious!”
“No, tell u-”
The Pirates were cut off by the ship’s alarm blaring. All collectively groaning.
“Hey, don’t feel too down, boys!” One of the Pirates unholstered his gun with a sadistic smirk. “That alarm means a ship, which means people we can torture and kill!”
The pilot jumped to his feet when the alarm went off, turning off the auto-pilot and slowing the ship to halt before it could crash into the drifting ship in front of it.
Narrowing his eyes, he examined the small vessel. The ship was tiny, probably big enough to accommodate a group of three. It was grey, but it was covered under layers of neon spray paint and graffiti, smiles, explosions, eyes covered the ship.
“What an odd little thing,” the pilot noted, then shrugged. “Ah, it’ll probably have stuff on it regardless.” He turned on his radio. “Hello? Are you in need of any assistance?”
All he got was static.
“Uh…hello? Anyone there?”
“Hello? Of thank God!” A woman spoke up. “We’ve been drifting for days and we’re almost out of food!”
“Well, luckily you found us,” the pilot said as he smugly grinned. “We have a docking bay, we’ll gladly let you onboard and…take care of you.”
“Thank you soooooooo much!” The woman sighed in relief. “You’re a lifesaver!”
“Don’t mention it.” The pirate cut contact. “Just doing what comes naturally.” He then pressed a button on the control console, turning on the intercom. “Good news boys, we got a ship in need of some assistance. Now it’s small, probably doesn’t have much in the way of valuables, but it’s got a woman!”
The Pirates in the mess hall all shared lecherous grins.
“Sounds pretty valuable to me, right fellas?”
The Pirates watched eagerly as the ship landed in the docking bay. The idea of pretending to be friendly was out the window, and they had their weapons drawn and were ready to attack the second the ship’s door opened and opened it did…to a human and Xeno, both male.
The pirates lowered their weapons and looked at one another.
“Thanks for helping us out,” the human said. “We don’t need much, just some food and fuel some we can-”
He was cut off by the Pirates pointing their weapons at him and the Xeno.
“Okay, no subtlety.” The human raised his hands, then looked to the Xeno to see he wasn’t doing the same, slapping his arm with the back of his hand. “Malphite.”
“Huh? Oh!” Malphite raised his hands.
“Where’s the woman?” The leader of the Pirates closed in on the human male, getting in his face.
The human gestured to his ship.
“You guys wait here, I’ll get the woman,” the leader ordered.
“What about us?” One of the Pirates asked.
“You guys got the last one, this one's mine!”
The other Pirates grumbled to themselves as their leader made his way to their ship.
“Hello? Ma’am!” The leader called as he entered the ship. “Your two crewmates are outside and we were just wondering where you were.”
Nothing.
“Hmmm…” the leader narrowed his eyes and looked around the ship, walking through the hallways that lead to the bedrooms, which is when he noticed the light in one of the rooms was on and heard a strange noise. “Ma’am?” He pulled out his gun, feeling something was off, then slowly crept over to the room, opening the door to see a toy monkey clapping its cymbals together. “Oh…” the leader walked over to the toy monkey and picked it up, examining it and noticing it as something written on its butt.
Look Up!
The leader cocked an eyebrow and did so, looking to see just as hundreds of bombs hanging from the ceiling above started beeping.
The leader widened his eyes in horror. “Oh sh-”
Outside, everyone, including the human and Malphite, jumped.
“Did Jinx just blow up our ship?” The human sighed, sounding not-at-all surprised.
“Looks like it, Yasuo,” Malphite answered, casually.
“Captain?!” Some of the pirates ran to the burning wreckage.
The pirates heard whistling, and a young woman with orange hair tied into two long twin tails walked out of the smoke. She blew the tuft of hair out from in front of her face.
“Hi,” Jinx greeted.
“Shoot that-” the pirates was cut off by Malphite lifting him into the air and snapping his spin over his knee.
A full fight broke out, and a wicked grin grew on Jinx’s face. She pulled out two shark-shaped grenades, pulled the pins with her teeth, and tossed them at two pirates.
“They're stuck to me! They're stuck to me!” One of the pirates screamed before he and any of his crewmates beside him were blown to pieces.
Yasuo was a blur, running across the battlefield, leaving a trail of blood and bodies in his wake. He had a sword against guns, but that didn’t matter when none of the pirates could see him coming in time to shoot him.
Malphite was doing what he did best, being a brute. He’d pick up a pirate and tear him in half or crush him in his large hands. They unloaded all they had into him, but his species natural skin kept him safe from the gunfire.
In no time at all, the crew of bounty hunters was the ones left.
“Yeah! Go, team!” Jinx jumped. “Big Guy!”
Jinx and Malphite did their “BFF handshake”, where double high-five and then belly five, even if Malphite always knocks Jinx over because of his superior size and strength.
“Jinx…why did you blow up our ship?” Yasuo gripped the bridge of his nose.
“Because it sucked! Dur…” Jinx tapped her forehead like she just stated the obvious. “Plus we got this new, bigger more amazing ship!” She gestured to the pirate ship. “Welcome to the Morning Star 2.0!”
“I…guess this ship works, but won’t the police be taking this in?”
“You think I’m gonna let them take it?”
Yasuo was silent for a moment, then shrugged. “Point taken.”
“Great!” Jinx rubbed her hands together. “Now we just need to deal with one more thing and we can take care of this bounty!
“Guys?!” The pilot shouted into the intercom. “What’s going on in docking bay?! Guys?!”
A knock on the cockpit door caused him to turn around in confusion. He reluctantly walked over to the door and opened it, and was greeted by a gun pointed directly at his face.
“Sup?” Jinx greeted.
“What the…who are you?! What are you doing?!” The pilot backed up fright.
“Well…we’re the infamous bounty hunters, the Crew of the Morning Star!” Jinx grew a sadistic smirk as she cocked back her gun. “As for your second question…what comes naturally!”
The pilot had no time to respond before Jinx put a bullet between his eyes.