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  1. *

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    Wilson frowns. “Who is Bob?”

    “Bob,” a chorus of voices echoes, as six hands gesture emphatically toward the reading chair.

    Wilson glances back and forth between Walker and Bob, his frown deepening. “You are saying these two are … engaged?” he asks, suspiciously.

    Yelena cannot blame him for having questions. Positioned on opposite sides of the room, not quite looking at each other, both very clearly unhappy with current developments, Walker and Bob certainly don’t look like a couple of newly engaged lovebirds. If anything, they look divorced.

    Language:
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    7,013
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    148
    Kudos:
    3,275
    Bookmarks:
    493
    Hits:
    20,754
  2. *

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    Contrary to popular belief, Darcy likes being an omega! She's just a cynic about the soulmate thing, but statistically speaking, she's never going to find hers, so who cares? As for Loki, the disturbing thought that he could be inadvertently bonded with a mortal from the very planet he wants to conquer never crossed his mind, but if asked, he would claim it was impossible.

    Unfortunately for both of them, they're completely wrong.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,258
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    110
    Kudos:
    3,733
    Bookmarks:
    668
    Hits:
    76,704
  3. *

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    "Captain! How does it feel to be voted New York's Most Eligible Bachelor?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,346
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    1,711
    Bookmarks:
    170
    Hits:
    11,234
  4. *

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    The first time it happened, Steve almost clocked Tony in the face.

    Language:
    English
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    4,747
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    77
    Kudos:
    1,520
    Bookmarks:
    216
    Hits:
    14,831
  5. *

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    Steve and Tony have both made certain assumptions about each other. You know what they say about assuming things.

    Language:
    English
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    6,170
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    233
    Kudos:
    1,529
    Bookmarks:
    231
    Hits:
    13,163
  6. *

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    Of all the people Steve could be stuck with while this agonizing drug surged through him, of course, it had to be Tony Stark.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,979
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    94
    Kudos:
    2,102
    Bookmarks:
    274
    Hits:
    27,904
  7. *

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    Peter finally has a day to himself, and he decides to relax, maybe take out a couple of toys. But then Deadpool comes by and finds this remote on the counter and oh God the vibrator's still inside of him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,100
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    15
    Comments:
    294
    Kudos:
    19,659
    Bookmarks:
    2,065
    Hits:
    233,259
  8. *

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    "Whoa, whoa, whoa," Shocker said, waving his arms around, "You telling me you got Spider-Man high?" He leaned back in his seat, nodding appreciatively, "Respect."

    Spider-Man finally looked up, gaze roaming over the mass of faces that all promised some sort of pain. He looked back up at Wade, then at them, then at Wade. "Whut?" he slurred.

    He squinted at them, lenses pinching tightly, and whispered loudly to Wade, enough for the crowd to hear, "I think I know these guys."

    It was silent for a beat.

    Then, "Holy shit, he really is high,"

    Language:
    English
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    4,313
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    110
    Kudos:
    2,478
    Bookmarks:
    391
    Hits:
    15,150
  9. *

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    When Peter loses his girlfriend Gwen Stacy horribly, dramatically, until the end of time— because she’s hooking up with his neighbor — Peter figures he’s probably just desperately terrible at the boyfriend thing. He needs an expert. Which, sadly, is the one guy in his life who really doesn’t need the ego boost of being told he’s an expert in love.

    Johnny is delighted to help his bud Spider-Man find love. Johnny has his eyes on someone, so he could do with the practice. It’s just a shame, because when Peter finds his healed heart turning in another direction, the last person he would expect to get in the way does.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    140
    Kudos:
    4,820
    Bookmarks:
    1,005
    Hits:
    44,015
  10. *

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    Peter and Wade get stuck in an unbelievably small closet. Then something else gets stuck elsewhere, also unbelievably.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,806
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    232
    Kudos:
    11,279
    Bookmarks:
    1,056
    Hits:
    185,264
  11. *

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    Darcy's trying to find the cafeteria; somehow, she finds her Soulmate instead. (She really should've known better than to ask Clint "The Ventilation System Is My Highway" Barton for directions.)


    Darcy had no sense of direction. This could be a problem when she was trying to find her way around SHIELD headquarters, especially since SHIELD agents were apparently horrible at giving step-by-step directions. Because, seriously? “Follow this hallway for five hundred feet, then turn North.” She wasn’t carrying a compass! And how was she supposed to know how far five hundred feet actually was?

     

    (Give it a shot, even if the pairing's not your thing. You won't regret it!)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,182
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    3,324
    Bookmarks:
    293
    Hits:
    42,268
  12. *

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    In which Thor lives a single day more times than he can count, and Loki doesn't know how to fix it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,420
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    751
    Kudos:
    13,099
    Bookmarks:
    1,907
    Hits:
    212,794
  13. *

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    Cut to two years later and his man is still ringless (well — they do have a very lovely cockring that they enthusiastically put to use the other day) and Wade is no closer to shopping for wedding dresses or asking Big Al to be his maid of honor.

    Or, five times Wade is interrupted while trying to propose plus one time he puts a ring on it*

    (*with apologies to Beyoncé.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,042
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    67
    Kudos:
    3,025
    Bookmarks:
    230
    Hits:
    21,679
  14. *

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    When the Avengers had briefed him on Deadpool, they played up the Kills People for Money and Has No Real Morals angle and left out the Is Pretty Damn Funny and Charming in a Weird, Terrifying Sort of Way part.

    Or, five times they meet on rooftops plus one time they take it to the streets*

    (*with apologies to The Doobie Brothers).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,648
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    188
    Kudos:
    12,965
    Bookmarks:
    1,815
    Hits:
    157,208
  15. *

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    It's no surprise to anyone that the Winter Soldier has some unusual ideas about wooing.

    Tony just didn't expect it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,407
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    240
    Kudos:
    5,744
    Bookmarks:
    563
    Hits:
    48,213
  16. *

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    Tony is well-versed in the multiple ways of annoying people, that Rogers happens to be constantly scandalized by his flirting with Bucky is really just a gift onto itself.

    In Tony's defence, Bucky started it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,625
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    16
    Comments:
    308
    Kudos:
    11,753
    Bookmarks:
    1,461
    Hits:
    104,339
  17. *

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    Wade's been with the Avengers for four months. The two of them have been together for five.

    Their relationship consists of taco-based dates, a ton of sex, and, well, Avenging.

    Both Peter and the team lost some street cred after Wade joined them, but whatever. Peter's more preoccupied with the fact that a) he told Wade his last name about a two months ago b) they spend a lot of time at Peter's place now, too c) he kind of wants to introduce him to Aunt May, and d) he's pretty damn sure he's in love.

    Or, five times they’re interrupted while attempting to bang plus one time Wade gives Peter the red light special*

    (*with apologies to TLC).

    Sequel to took no time with the fall

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,124
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    127
    Kudos:
    7,621
    Bookmarks:
    867
    Hits:
    85,068
  18. *

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    Thor often chose to visit him in the summer, for his golden skin was made for sunnier realms, not the cruel winters of Loki’s homeland. But when he came they would hunt together and feast together, tell stories and sing songs, spar and play and roam the land. Sometimes they bickered and came to blows, but no argument ever kept them from taking pleasure from each other’s bodies until their youthful lust was sated.
     
    A sequel to A Prelude.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,111
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    2,270
    Bookmarks:
    107
    Hits:
    36,348
  19. *

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    “I’m sorry you never had the chance to say a proper farewell to your friends,” Loki said.

    “Our friends, Loki,” Thor insisted after a pause, voice low.

    Loki hummed contemplatively.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,114
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    3,744
    Bookmarks:
    110
    Hits:
    26,421
  20. *

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    Thor made his way around the bed, only to trip over the edge and go sprawling onto the floor.

    “Stupid depth perception issues,” He cursed, rubbing at his nose.

    The new eyepatch rolled to a stop at Heimdall’s feet and he bent down to pick it up. The Gate Keeper tossed the golden eyepatch at Loki and jerked a finger at the figure still spread-eagled on the floor, “make sure he gets to the bridge in one piece, will you, Loki?”

    “Of course,” Smirking, Asgard’s second prince rounded the bed gracefully and crouched down next to his flailing brother, “don’t be such a baby. You’ll get used to it.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,263
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    124
    Kudos:
    6,568
    Bookmarks:
    380
    Hits:
    36,643

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