20 Bookmarked Items in kekeke
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“HYUNG! LOOK!” Jungkook hits Seokjin’s shoulder like he’s not already looking at the television, “They’re opening auditions for that American couples show, The Honeymoon Phase! Oh my god they’re opening it up to all sexualities this season! My gay ass can go on the show! Show them how dating really works!”
Drunk confusion paints Seokjin’s face, “But you’re not dating anyone?”
Jungkook has the best idea he’s ever had in his entire life and it’s not the alcohol. Okay, well, maybe just a little bit. He turns to Seokjin with his best smile his drunk face can offer.
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Jungkook and Seokjin are two broke best friends who pretend that they are dating so they can get a paid trip to Hawaii and a chance at winning $25,000. Will they make it past the honeymoon phase?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,547
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 241
- Kudos:
- 1,300
- Bookmarks:
- 343
- Hits:
- 22,898
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jeongguk looks at seokjin dead in the eye, asking innocently, "did i tell you i'll suck your dick?"
"oh. i know you didn't mean it," seokjin chuckles. "you're still my favorite."
jeongguk deflates, devastatingly crestfallen. then he forces a smile that probably looks like a frightened grimace. "um. that's great...so great. yeah. thanks, hyung."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,617
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 350
- Kudos:
- 1,566
- Bookmarks:
- 393
- Hits:
- 35,516
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Corporate Relationship Disclosure Form -- Human Resource Coordinator: Jung Hoseok
Section to be completed by Employees Involved:
Names: Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin
Job Titles: Chief Accountant Supreme, Professional Wet Blanket
Nature of Relationship:Friends with BenefitsSex Enemies
Length of Relationship: 4 minutesPlease Describe Jin's Dick:Shut up Hoseok I see you nasty fucker, you just added this fucking question to the form you didn’t even make sure the font was the same as the original you better hold on to your goddamn cat because I’m coming for you as soon as I’m finished getting- oh fucking hell. -
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The rational part of Jimin's brain screams at him to remember what his mother said about strangers and vans. But the rational part of his brain is no match for really bad whiskey and Kim Taehyung.
((au where Jimin gets stuck on the interstate in the middle of a blizzard and Taehyung lives in a van))
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Hanamaki texts the wrong number when trying to extort tips out of Oikawa in order to defeat Iwaizumi in arm wrestling, and then continues to text the witty stranger who had answered.
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Volleyball is a terrifying game, especially when you share a court with such intimidating players. However, their grace and skill on court may not necessarily transfer into their day-to-day lives.
Yahaba notices that Kyoutani is one of those players, and boy, does that grouchy bastard have him whipped.
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Jungkook tries to be a superhero, a student, a photographer and madly in love with his neighbor Namjoon at the same time.
Series
- Part 1 of Into the Spiderverse
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greys_alien: you should change your username to “addicted2bugs”
greys_alien: yours is boring
greys_alien: i can’t be friends with someone boringHalf an hour later, he gets a message from addicted2bugs.
Or, Tooru needs a friend, Hajime just so happens to be on a chat site at the right time, and neither of them can predict what's to follow.
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"unfortunately, there aren't any human souls to feed on in this realm but if you're patient, we could send you right back to hell where you belong and where there are more than enough souls to feed on for eternity."
on jeongguk's left, seokjin tilts his head and stares at him, mouth parted, eyebrows bunched up. jeongguk explains:
"you have to remove yourself from the equation and make the customer feel like their problem is important enough for the whole store to take care of it."
seokjin blinks at him. "jeongguk, this is a demon."
or the one where jeongguk runs a ghost hunting business under the guise of a plumbing business but finds himself pretending to be a plumber just to be around his first love seokjin.
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Imagine you’re a Gold I player on the Korean League server, doing your best to help your team get a win, and Kim Seokjin is just being a fucking dick to you.
Yeah, same.
Or, Jungkook tries to unwind with video games and discovers that he might have a tiny thing for degradation. Ganked by sexual frustration - you hate to see it.
>>Now with a Jin side story: hyung, we live in a society (SEOKJIN.EXE)
In which Jungkook literally carries Jin around, sits on him, and then asks him to be mean to him. Also, Jin is bad at mobile games. NSFW: contains handholding and commitment. -
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Boyfriends Namjoon and Yoongi sometimes commit petty crimes to get by. When Yoongi hears about a rich CEO going out of town, he convinces his boyfriend that an attempted heist couldn't hurt. Little do they know that the CEO's son, Seokjin, was given housesitting duties, and brought his boyfriend along for company.
or, namgi are terrible burglars and 2seok are amused about it.
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why are penguins so popular on the internet? by ayorapline
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
26 May 2021
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unknown: have u thought abt ur crimes
yoongi: WHAT CRIMES???????????
unknown: punishment is coming for ppl like u
OR:
jeon jungkook logs back into his club penguin account after 15 years and remembers the asshole middle schooler named Min Yoongi who had stole a bunch of elementary schooler’s club penguin passwords with the promise of getting them rich and never went through with it
Jungkook gets his number from a mutual classmate and gives the man a piece of his mind- not knowing that Min Yoongi is now a famous rapper -
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"He doesn't seem okay," Jimin notes, several long gracefully curling strands falling forward as he cranes his head in front of Taehyung's face to get a better look.
"He's fine. He's just a little shaken by your dick," Jin tells him without an ounce of shame, and Taehyung has the presence of mind to cut his eyes sharply in his direction.
"Ahhhh," Jimin hums appreciatively, turning back to Taehyung and fluttering his long lashes. "Well that's okay, honey. Lots of people are shaken by my dick. Granted, it's usually inside of them at the time."
(AU where supposedlystraightboy!tae falls for a pretty drag queen named Minnie and has a pretty chill questioning of his sexuality)
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After spending hours painstakingly following a tutorial from his favorite beauty youtuber Jeongguk, Jimin just so happens to run into him at a club.
[or: hot twink does my makeup - not clickbait]
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“Seokjin and I have decided on a suitable punishment for you two,” Yoongi looks delighted telling them this. Hoseok side-eyes Namjoon, but it’s clear from his wide, shocked eyes he knows nothing. Their chairs shift a little closer together until their fingers are brushing.
“What the fuck,” says Hoseok into the gag. It sounds more like warthefufei so Yoongi pays it zero attention.
“Your punishment,” Seokjin says, “is to hold hands for an hour.”
(Or, the AU where Namjoon and Hoseok are co-workers at the immigrations department between Heaven and Hell despite being angel and demon -- and they absolutely hate each other. The I-Hope-You-Run-Your-Nipples-Through-A-Cheese-Grater type of hate each other. It's not cute.)
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Jimin poked Namjoon's chest through his The Future Is Female sweatshirt. “So, does this sweatshirt actually help you get laid, or do you wear it for the sense of superiority alone?”
OR: A self-indulgent modern-day Clueless AU in which Jimin is a spoiled LA teen, Namjoon is his aggressively woke "straight" ex-stepbrother, Tae is a menace on four wheels, and Hobi's been looking kind of spicy lately.
Series
- Part 1 of Clueless AU
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“Maybe you could go more than one night without getting laid and do me a favor. Think of it as a move-in gift,” Jimin says sarcastically. “Some people bring freshly baked cookies. Some people bring kimchi. You can bring goddamn silence and celibacy.”
OR
Park Jimin's new neighbor, Jeon Jeongguk, moves in at the beginning of December and has fling after fling right up against their shared bedroom walls. There's nothing merry and bright about the way Jimin knocks on Jeongguk's door to shut him up - only that he instantly regrets it and then sleeps with visions of Jeongguk dancing in his head.
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Park Jimin has one goal in life: to become a Paranormal Investigator and expose the supernatural underbelly of his idyllic college town. There's only one problem-- he's not entirely sure that paranormal creatures are real.
Enter Jeon Jeongguk, college quarterback, political science major, werewolf. He crashes into Jimin's life like a hurricane-- and from the moment Jimin meets him, his sights are set.
Jeon Jeongguk will be his first kill.
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there are a lot of things that jungkook really, really likes about seokjin.
his absolute preference for jungkook and deference to his wants, wishes and whims chief among them.
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"I guess," Jungkook pauses momentarily to inhale a deep, bracing breath, "I would just want you to come to my work events and laugh at my jokes and don't correct people if they imply that we're doing it."
"Having sex, you mean," Jin clarifies gently, and Jungkook chokes on air. If his face was any redder, Jin would insist on taking him to the hospital. Jungkook clears his throat, obviously trying to play off the strangled, choked sound as a casual cough.
"Yes. Doing... sex."
(Hedge Fund wunderkind and Certified Awkward Gay Jungkook needs a sugar baby to show off at work, and Professional Competitive Eater and Objectively Beautiful Human Jin just wants to stop working shitty side-jobs. Fake Sugar Daddy AU. A trope and a half.)