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Externals: Starring Mr Bonzo by Karidoesnotapologise
Fandoms: The Magnus Protocol (Podcast), Art - Reza
10 Oct 2025
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Summary
The Externals is the latest show from acclaimed children's TV star Mr Bonzo, who brings his trademark cheeky humour to this ensemble comedy, boosted by a flawless cast, including Nigel Dickerson (Saturdays On Six), Ink5oul (The Great Tattoo Off), Needles, and even Lady Mowbray (Britain’s Deadliest Hunt), with many special guests along the way! Join Mr Bonzo and his eclectic bunch as they work together to do assignments for the Office of Incident Assessment and Response, a premise that seems dull until you realise what the OIAR actually does, while Nigel Dickerson simply tries to navigate life around Mr Bonzo's larger-than-life personality.
Featuring original music by Dredgerman!
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It's been pretty easy for Gwen to hide the tattoo she got from Ink5oul, until now. There's a heatwave with no AC, and Gwen is the only one in the office with long sleeves. To Gwens dismay, Alice notices and is concerned.
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Mr Bonzo gets his life together for abit then gets a divorce cuz he ate the goddam children then gets resurrected and goes to court and gets a new wife and kids then gets shot dead in the bronx by Pr1nc3ss_pr1nc3ss
Fandoms: The Magnus Protocol (Podcast)
05 May 2025
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Mr Bonzo gets a wife and kids
Then it goes horribly wrong -
[FABRIC RUSTLE] by orphan_account
Fandoms: The Magnus Protocol (Podcast), The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
04 Apr 2025
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basically just the oiar storyline splitting off from ep 36 and being told from alice and gwens pov of being in love lol
this will be very long if i have enough motivationupdates per weekly, should be every weekend or monday :]
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you treat your mouth as if it's heaven's gate by v10l3t_jpg
Fandoms: The Magnus Protocol (Podcast)
27 Feb 2025
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WARNING FOR EMETOPHOBIA AND FOR SPOILERS FOR TMAGP S1&2
“No, no, the-” police can't help, she almost says, but she can sense that Alice will take that to mean she needs convincing. She sucks in another shaky breath. “It isn't a police matter.”
“Riiight.” Alice nods, disbelieving, but doesn't push her luck. Gwen actually misses the comforting warmth of her palm when she pulls it away to watch as she sniffles and sobs and dabs at her sick-stained black blouse. Alice says nothing for a moment, then clicks her tongue. “Here, you're only making that worse.”
As Gwen looks up to snap something about not sitting in sick all night, she's met with the sight of Alice pulling her navy blue jumper off, discarding it in her lap while she pulls off the black spaghetti strap vest she has underneath, leaving a star patterned bra and Gwen speechless.
The aftermath of Bonzo if Alice had been there to comfort Gwen and not off in a soggy, manky hole in Manchester.
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Warmth by cold_and_broken_waluigi for lemonademoss01
Fandoms: The Magnus Protocol (Podcast)
13 Feb 2025
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Nigel and Bonzo's relationship isn't one that was built on softness and vulnerability. So when Nigel asks Bonzo to be his Valentine, will he say yes?
Or: Nigel and Bonzo go out for a romantic candlelit dinner, and fail to understand why everyone around them is completely terrified.
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Magnetism by cold_and_broken_waluigi for lemonademoss01
Fandoms: The Magnus Protocol (Podcast)
30 Sep 2024
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The night Saturdays On Six goes under, Nigel Dickerson reflects on his time working there.
Or, a timeline of Nigel and Bonzo's relationship (which is also a timeline of Bonzo's monstrosity).
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He's in my head by feeandthewild
Fandoms: The Magnus Protocol (Podcast), The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
18 Sep 2024
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What if Alice found Colin before anything happened?
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His Teeth Are Not Soft (But His Heart Might Be) by cold_and_broken_waluigi for lemonademoss01
Fandoms: The Magnus Protocol (Podcast)
16 Sep 2024
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After another difficult interview, Nigel Dickerson thinks about the past.
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Nigel Dickerson’s retirement is not going as planned, and his unwanted roommate is an undue source of stress. (Or: Mr. Bonzo moves in and torments a former tv host)
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Gwen isn't quite human anymore. Luckily, she knows someone in the exact same boat.
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Maybe One Day I Could Learn to Love You Too by violet_teeth
Fandoms: The Magnus Protocol (Podcast)
16 Jun 2024
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Summary
Boris gets canon typical nigel's SOS with mr bonzo treatment, Boris is head over heals with the star of the show, luckily (unluckily) Lady M is there.
Series
- Part 2 of Prime Mister (Mr Bonzo x Boris Johnson)
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Bonzo stumbles upon a mysterious yet handsome man who steals people's bones. In an attempt to impress the man, Bonzo starts stealing bones as well. Jared, however, isn't pleased to find out that someone is stealing his job.
_____________________________I am so sorry for this, big apologies to everyone at Rusty Quill.
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Nigel breathes a sigh of relief just a moment too soon.
ALICE
(firmer than Sam)
Gwen. There's nothing here. Let's just go-Heavy, dragging footsteps can be heard through the ceiling, coming closer to the stairwell.
NIGEL
(panicked)
Oh, Christ, you've done it now! You're going to get us all killed!GWEN
(backing away as the footsteps begin to lumber down the stairs, trying to sound unafraid and failing miserably)
Do you believe me now?An alternate ending to the Bonzo conversation in Protocol episode 18 through three and a half scenes, written script style.
Read tags and trigger warnings to avoid nasty surprises!!Formatting issue fixed 6/6/24
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Mr Bonzo Wants to Stay by kristsune for chickenshithypocrite
Fandoms: The Magnus Protocol (Podcast)
12 May 2024
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Mr Bonzo finds another way to show Nigel a Good Time. Nigel would beg to differ.
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I Could Never Choose to Love Another by violet_teeth
Fandoms: The Magnus Protocol (Podcast)
03 May 2024
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Boris Johnson (former prime minister of the uk) has been invited to appear on Nigel’s SOS. And he may develop a crush on the mascot…
Series
- Part 1 of Prime Mister (Mr Bonzo x Boris Johnson)
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On his way home after another job well done, Mr Bonzo runs into someone with a rather unique reaction to his presence. The man himself seems rather unusual as well, so it's no wonder Mr Bonzo finds himself intrigued.
Needles finds a new low for how badly his attempts at scaring people can go. However, he also finds someone who might just be able to take him at his worst, so really, the situation's not that tragic, he supposes.
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hyperactive stage combat party-pseudo 4/13 edition by the gatorrrrrrrrr (the_gator_in_question)
Fandoms: Homestuck, The Magnus Protocol (Podcast), French History RPF
14 Apr 2024
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woooohooo last minute 4/13 fic lets goo (posting this at 12am but really its still 4/13 because the day should start at 1am technically)
Basically theres a party, my history teacher tells whoevers in charge of his fanpage (hint: its not cathryn! there'd be a lot more homestuck references and bad graphicals if she wrote it!!) to go do their outlines and Dave had this idea to hire none other than a Mr. Bonzo cosplayer.
kinda based on the idea that tmagp is just post-scratch tma that i plan to experiment with a little more in a more serious, less rushed fic.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,008
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 28
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Summary
There are expectations for a Bouchard, even for the youngest daughter. Even more for the oldest son. This is because Bouchard's are better. They do important things that should not be questioned, especially not by the youngest daughter, not even by the oldest son.
Curiosity always kills the cat.
Series
- Part 1 of Office Shenanigans
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Nigel just wanted to have a nice wank in bed, instead he gets far more than he bargained for.