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  1. 8

    The End of a Legitimate Businessman by

    Fandoms: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic), MS Paint Adventures  

    07 Apr 2020

    Tags
    Summary

    A LEGITIMATE BUSINESSMAN -- ACT III
    -
    So far, we've followed intrepid problem sleuth Patrick Sloan as he attempts to hire The Midnight Crew to take down The Felt and a certain unknown mobster kingpin named The DMK. We've learned about his Troubles, met his Associates, learned some Secrets, reviewed the Investigation, and examined everyone's Lifestyle. Then we watched as everyone involved set out their Best Laid Plans. So now we'll finally see how all of this Ends. The series concludes with the chapters herein. You didn't think I'd leave you guys hanging, did you?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,972
    Chapters:
    68/68
    Comments:
    230
    Kudos:
    77
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1,311

  2. 25

    A Legitimate Businessman by

    Fandom: Homestuck, Midnight Crew - Fandom, MS Paint Adventures, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic), Problem Sleuth - Fandom

    18 Apr 2025

    Summary

    In a world slightly different from our own, an intrepid problem sleuth named Patrick Sloan attempts to hire a shadowy mobster known as Jack Vantas in the hopes that their respective teams of detectives and gangsters can take down two kingpins of organized crime: Lawrie English and a newcomer known only as DMK.

    Words:
    82,233
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    25

  3. 9

    The Opening Act of a Legitimate Businessman - Remastered by

    Fandoms: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic), MS Paint Adventures  

    30 Aug 2015

    Tags
    Summary

    A LEGITIMATE BUSINESSMAN -- ACT I
    -
    Patrick Sloan, a problem sleuth of the "highest" caliber, and his associates "Ace" Dick Dunn and Peter Inesco attempt to hire the infamous gang of ne'er-do-wells known as The Midnight Crew to help them crack a case that has had him puzzled for some time now.
    -
    This limited edition of the ongoing story's first act collects and refurbishes the previously separate Troubles of a Legitimate Businessman, Associates of a Legitimate Businessman, Secrets of a Legitimate Businessman, Investigation of a Legitimate Businessman, and Lifestyle of a Legitimate Businessman in one multichaptered work for ease of access and new insights. Come read this newer, more definitive edition of the fic that people are calling "hardboiled" and "sparsely updated"!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,059
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1,199

  4. 36

    Shadow of a Doubt by

    Fandoms: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)  

    09 Mar 2013

    Tags
    Summary

    There's an office in midtown with "PS, AD, & PI, Private Detectives" frosted on the glass. The three rivals turned partners were just trying to scratch out a living when they fell right in the middle of something big, something dangerous, something kept in a file marked 'MK'.

    Paul Shepard is a man possessed, hunting the man who hunts him and his team. Somewhere between the drug trafficking and extortion rackets, between the gambling rings and back alley brothels, Shepard finds help in the most unexpected of places.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,047
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    83
    Kudos:
    220
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    8,632

  5. 20

    First Dates by

    Fandoms: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)  

    15 Feb 2012

    Tags
    Summary

    In the long-awaited sequel to THE TALK, we follow the stabchildren as they embark shakily on the world of romantic entanglements. And their parents, as they deal with it in variously horrible ways.

    Valentine's Day stabdads fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,295
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    160
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    3,866

  6. *

    Stabdads by

    Fandom: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)

    27 Feb 2012

    Words:
    109,309
    Works:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    107

  7. 34

    Pesterquest Rewritten by ,

    Fandoms: Homestuck, Hiveswap, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)  

    03 Jan 2025

    Tags
    Summary

    Transcripts of the fangame Pesterquest Rewritten.

    What if MSPAR remembered themself at the beginning of Pesterquest's prologue? If they didn't immediately leave Doc Scratch's mansion, but instead kept their character arc from Friendsim, and used their new knowledge of Homestuck to try and save someone?

    Contains full spoilers for the fangame Pesterquest Rewritten, and is best enjoyed with at least some knowledge of Friendsim and Pesterquest.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    103,487
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    119
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    5,492

  8. 25

    Partners by

    Fandoms: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)  

    13 Jun 2011

    Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Diamonds Droog, and you did not expect to lose the rest of your team to the Felt. And you really did not expect the world's worst detective to be the one to help you get them back.

    Your name is Problem Sleuth, and you really wish your team would come through for you just this once. But instead, you're stuck with this gangster. This tall, handsome, badass, and really hardboiled gangster...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,367
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    195
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    3,009

  9. 19

    The Old Ball and Chain by

    Fandoms: Problem Sleuth - Fandom, Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures  

    30 Nov 2011

    Tags
    Summary

    Handcuffs (n) (slang, 1920s) - Engagement rings; Wedding rings.

    Problem Sleuth and Spades Slick learn the hard way to look out for glitched items.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,426
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1,606

  10. 15

    Hello, My Lovely by

    Fandoms: Problem Sleuth (Webcomic), The Intermission, Stab Dads - Fandom, Homestuck  

    20 Feb 2022

    Tags
    Summary

    Spades Slick has disappeared! Can Hearts Boxcars and Pickle Inspector find him before time runs out? Can they come together to save Slick and the lives of Team Sleuth? Can something more grow between them, or must they set aside love to go on with life in Midnight City?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    91,582
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2,120

  11. 5

    Grey Skin by

    Fandoms: Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)  

    08 Jun 2018

    Tags
    Summary

    When he was in the desert, Peccant Scofflaw committed his one and only act of kindness.

    (Written as backstory for an old RP blog I don't run anymore.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    990
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    196

  12. 8

    Hypnotize by

    Fandoms: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)  

    22 Jan 2012

    Tags
    Summary

    Pickle Inspector attempts to help Problem Sleuth relax with a little knowledge he's picked up from one of his cases. But this is Midnight City and nothing ever goes the way it should.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,255
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    2,890

  13. 2

    Klondike by

    Fandoms: Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)  

    20 Sep 2015

    Tags
    Summary

    Pickle Inspector doesn't like Klondike, but he plays anyway.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    350
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    204

  14. 5

    Trespassing by

    Fandoms: Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)  

    21 Mar 2014

    Tags
    Summary

    Slick thought it would be hilarious. Sexy, even. He led you into Droog’s room, snickering all the while, and you froze as you stood just past the threshold. This room was pristine. It was the cleanest, neatest room in the Crew’s hideout. There was no way he wouldn’t know you’d been in there. He’s too meticulous, he’ll figure it out.

    He’ll know that you, Problem Sleuth, were in his room, and he will kill you.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    778
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    87
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    962

  15. 16

    Take You Home by

    Fandoms: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)  

    02 Jul 2011

    Tags
    Summary

    You were too late to stop the Felt from wrecking Spades Slick. But you're not too late to pick him back up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,995
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    177
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    3,910

  16. 35

    Dibs by

    Fandoms: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)  

    24 Jul 2011

    Tags
    Summary

    Spades Slick woos you with pain, and he doesn't skimp on it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,690
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    348
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    5,377

  17. 7

    Daily Drabble by

    Fandoms: Supernatural, Homestuck, Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Sherlock (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Doctor Who, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The LEGO Movie (2014), Welcome to Night Vale, Ender's Game - All Media Types, Death Note, Haven - Fandom, Despicable Me (Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom, The Property of Hate, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon), Gravity Falls, Danny Phantom, Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett  

    10 Jan 2015

    Tags
    Summary

    A collection of short stories from various fandoms and other ideas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,663
    Chapters:
    56/?
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    77
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    2,464

  18. 12

    I Was Made To Believe There's Something Wrong With Me by for blacktail

    Fandoms: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)  

    25 Dec 2011

    Tags
    Summary

    When Pickle Inspector wakes up in the morning, the world surprises him every time. It’s not a good thing. He supposes it isn’t a bad thing, either. But it’s definitely never good. The world is too grey to be good.

    Merry Christmas to blacktail! For the Intermission Secret Santa.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,826
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    2,896

  19. 2

    The Cats Know Better by

    Fandoms: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)  

    09 Feb 2021

    Tags
    Summary

    Pickle is out on a cold night when an unexpected call has him staying with his crush for the night, how is he going to handle this?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,412
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    241

  20. 5

    Play for Me by

    Fandoms: Problem Sleuth (Webcomic), MS Paint Adventures  

    07 Dec 2011

    Tags
    Summary

    He’s played for you a few times since then, late at night when you couldn’t sleep and you begged him to play you a lullaby to drone out all the noise in your head, but that first song stuck with you. It was special.

    He’s playing that song now.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,614
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1,043

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