1 - 20 of 3,239 Bookmarked Items in What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
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Slayer Guillermo de la Cruz takes a job to kill a coven of vampires, but when it all goes bad, he finds himself caught up in Nandor, Nadja and Laszlo's hastily hatched plan to take advantage of their prisoner. What they have in store for him may be a fate worse than death.
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- English
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- 6/6
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The man strode forward with a purpose, his cloak sweeping behind him. Wait, his cloak? Guillermo blinked, giving him a quick once over. Long dark hair (pulled back into some kind of partial top knot), beard, aforementioned cloak, and a complimentary outfit that made him look as if he’d stepped out of a 17th century painting.
Guillermo knew exactly what this man was.
“Out LARPing?” he asked in his best customer service voice.
AKA
How Guillermo and Nandor first met.
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there is a shortage in the blood supply (but there is no shortage of blood) by zarya
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
16 Sep 2021
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Something has to go pretty wrong in your life, Guillermo supposes, for you to reach a point where you’re doing heavy mental calculus to determine whether there's romantic subtext behind your boss’s offer to help you dispose of a corpse.
- Language:
- English
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- 11,199
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- 1/1
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- 220
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- 6,842
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Nandor unwittingly stumbles across Guillermo during an intimate moment.
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MFL D
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The Guide sighs and holds up an old leather tome. “Just as I suspected. I know what curse they hit you with.” She walks over to them and opens the book to a page Guillermo can’t read at all. “Freedom,” she says very solemnly, like she just told him they’ll have to sacrifice him to a pack of hungry wolves.
“Fr— huh?” Guillermo says, genuinely shocked. “I’m… already… free?”
Nadja cackles. “Sure, the familiar is free. Funny.”
“Okay look, I am your servant, not your slave, there is a difference—“
“Yeah yeah sure, familiar rights and all that,” the Guide says dismissively. “They didn’t give your Dobby a shoe here—“
“Sock.”
“—They freed you from societal conventions.”
Guillermo heaves out a deep sigh. “Yeah, I don’t know what that means.”
“Basically, until we lift the curse, if you want to do something, you’re just going to do it. Doesn’t matter what it is.”
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The man is still speaking, Guillermo thinks he catches something like sweet release from life, and that's...bad. Guillermo doesn't want that. But he's still not fighting, not doing anything to try and shake the iron grip on his upper arms. To be wanted, desired... to feel a real vampire's fangs pierce his skin and know at last how it really feels. That, he does want.
But it doesn't matter. Nandor gets there first.
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Guillermo's master establishes his authority
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Guillermo notices an abrupt change in Nandor's personality after the events of the theatre and it all comes into startling clarity for him one night as he sits in his room reading, unaware of the tendrils of mist that creep underneath his door.
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In the aftermath of his unturning, Guillermo returns home to the one who, astonishingly, turns out to know him better than he knows himself.
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[Podfic] my materials in pyre (it's the purest lick of fire) by peasina
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
18 Oct 2025
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Nandor is proud of his self-control, but Guillermo tests it nightly with his knack for hitting all of Nandor's most sensitive spots as he undresses him.
One of these days, he's going to snap, and it's anyone's guess what that will mean for Guillermo.
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Lies of Degree by WretchedArtifact for irregular
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
07 Aug 2023
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Guillermo can't tell Nandor the truth of what he's being doing with Laszlo, but he's never been good at lying, either.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,304
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 1
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- 11
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- 310
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- 32
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- 1,989
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gaslight gatekeep girlboss by thepolysyndetonaddictsupportgroup
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV), The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
05 Dec 2021
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“Look, believe it or not, I had no intention of killing the Vampiric Council when I came here,” declares Nadja, sitting alone on the couch. “But Guillermo and I arrived at the first council meeting and did the whole, you know, the whole thing, the first day thing. Introductions and all that, yes hello wonderful to meet you, yes this is my bodyguard, yes he has slaughtered a tremendous number of our kind”--she flaps her hand absently--“normal first day things, you know? It was fine.” She pauses. “It got really fucking weird on the second day.”
Or:
Nadja and Guillermo seize control of vampiric politics, puppeteer world powers, and have the hottest of hot girl summers.
Unfortunately, they also really miss the stupid assholes they're in love with. With no way left to find them, they have no choice but to consult an Archivist.
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- Part 1 of it's not a whore HOUSE it's a whore HOME
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,349
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- 2/2
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- 1
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- 145
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- 1,168
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- 293
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Nandor the Relentless has been suppressing his feelings for his familiar for so long that he has almost forgotten they are there. Nandor's ghost, on the other hand, has no such problem...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,435
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 37
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- 1,454
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- 146
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- 10,901
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After the massacre at the theater, it isn't safe to go back to the house. Nandor and Guillermo get a room.
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After Nandor catches a vampire feeling up his familiar, he decides to show Guillermo what he really means by the term “master”.
(CWs: read the tags first)
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Guillermo narrows his eyes. "Do you think I'm above giving a handjob to get what I want?" Setting down the jar, he pulls one leather glove off, wiggling his fingers.
Nandor regards him suspiciously. "Yes."
"Well I'm not."
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SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 FINALE 'NOUVEAU THÉÂTRE DES VAMPIRES’
“Don’t care what the fuck your name is. We had to pick up our own laundry!”
The words tumble out of Nandor’s mouth before he can stop them, and he immediately realises two things.
First, he definitely should not have said that. There were a myriad of phrases he could’ve and should’ve used, including - especially - ‘thank you’, but gratitude hasn’t been his overwhelming response to anything in almost 800 years of existence, so it wasn’t exactly easy to utilise now.
(Also, Nandor reasons that he should be cut some slack given that he just witnessed his familiar - his soft-spoken, submissive, puny human familiar - slaughter an entire theatre of vampires like it was nothing. Excuse him if his brain was having trouble.)
The second thing was that he was harder than he had ever been in his life, living or undead.
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set immediately after the season 2 finale. i wrote this in a frenzy over two days on my phone...and it's the first fic i've written in over 12 years...and the first Naughty thing i've ever written....i just love this dumb show so much lmao anyway enjoy!!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,440
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 68
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- 2,624
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- 325
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- 20,530
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"As much as Nandor wants to indulge, he cannot abide such belligerent behaviour; time to teach Guillermo a lesson in how he should behave when his Master says no. And what he gets for not being a good boy."
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- Part 3 of Eternity
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Guillermo is exhausted, and confused, and why, exactly is Nandor trying to take him to bed all the sudden?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,551
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
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- 63
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- 1,740
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- 141
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- 8,171
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theme from up
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Five times Guillermo is injured in front of Nandor.
Or, five times that Nandor is reminded of the fragility of humans.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,260
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 254
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- 3,185
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- 618
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- 43,125
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Nandor’s not great at talking about his feelings. Luckily, every time he screws up a confession, he just makes Guillermo forget it. He’ll get it right eventually.
There’s just one minor problem with this plan: Guillermo, unbeknownst to him, has developed an immunity to mind wiping.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,237
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 115
- Kudos:
- 4,660
- Bookmarks:
- 547
- Hits:
- 31,218