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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Bertie goes to a rather rummy sort of club, the last place one would expect to find one's brilliant valet. What follows is more rummy stuff, lots of drinking, much too much smoking, and some other unmentionable things.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,277
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    131
    Kudos:
    1,652
    Bookmarks:
    411
    Hits:
    19,723

    01 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 89

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    Summary

    James Wilson, new student at the School for Good, is excited to live out his destiny and make his own fairy tale. He excels at everything: weaponry lessons, history tests, smiling class. He just doesn’t exactly feel true love for any of the girls. But that won’t be a problem. It’s easily faked. In fact, a surprisingly alluring Evil student is going to help him keep up his ruse. He’s totally covered.
    Gregory House, new student at the School for Evil, has finally gotten away from his father. He’s also found the first home he’s ever had... at a school built for training villains. He has books, magic, and teachers who don’t suck. After a chance encounter with a Good student, he might even have a friend. His life is finally making sense.
    So, there we have it. Their fates seem sealed. James will go on to star in a fairy tale and in young girls’ dreams. Gregory will cause some manageable mayhem, then take the under-the-radar magical academic track that produces some of the few Evil students who live to get gray hair. Nice endings tied with a bow, just like the elusive School Master likes.
    Except here you are, reading their Tale. Which begs the question: what went wrong?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    99,062
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    222
    Kudos:
    374
    Bookmarks:
    89
    Hits:
    6,524

    13 Jul 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    During the case of Ted, a young man that refuses to accept his identity, Thirteen makes an assumption about her boss and confronts Wilson about it.

    (title inspired by But I'm A Cheerleader)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,381
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    1,095
    Bookmarks:
    204
    Hits:
    14,290

    29 Jun 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Chase looked almost pale, glancing between his two colleagues as if hoping for an explanation.
    “Did we… turn House gay?”

     

    or, Greg House loses a bet and discovers the wonders of leather gear, traumatising his employees, his loved ones and Wilson in the process

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,797
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    775
    Bookmarks:
    146
    Hits:
    8,383

    12 Jun 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Wilson!” he calls, willing to concede if only to understand what the hell is going on. “You can stop now! You win!”

    “Hm?” Wilson reappears in the doorway, knotting some hideously patterned tie. “If this is about the poker game I know you cheated on—”

    “This prank,” House says, gesturing all around the apartment. “You got me, you don’t have to—”

    But in the action of waving his hand around, his gaze catches on a shiny glint on his finger. He blinks at it. Once, twice. It can’t be.

    He’s wearing a wedding ring.

    Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Wilson place his hands on his hips, roll his eyes. There’s a similar band on his left hand, fourth finger—the designated marriage finger. The sight is not unfamiliar to House, what with Wilson’s endless stream of wives, but House has never seen a matching ring on his own hand. Certainly not one that matches Wilson’s.

    ~

    Or, where House wakes up in an alternate universe where he and Wilson are married.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,183
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    613
    Kudos:
    2,270
    Bookmarks:
    390
    Hits:
    24,521

    24 May 2025

  6. Public Bookmark 15

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    Summary

    A soiree goes horribly awry at Brinkley Court. While Poirot is on the case, Bertie tries to play cupid and reattach severed threads of fate, even if it would cost him everything.
    Meanwhile, Hastings grapples with the past looming between himself and Jeeves.

    Extremely slowburn, lots and lots of pining and meaningful glances and some Wodehousian humor. There's a light whodunit there too.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,602
    Chapters:
    23/23
    Comments:
    247
    Kudos:
    141
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2,186

    04 Apr 2025

  7. Public Bookmark 24

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    Summary

    "Surprise!!!"

    Jon stumbled back slightly at the sudden light, and Oz cawed.

    "Jesus." He cursed, blinking slightly.

    "Happy birthday!" His harassers called. Jon squinted to look at them.

    They were huddled around a table, with a cake that said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONATHAN SIMS, WORLDS OKAYIST BOSS" in bright pink comic sans. A single tiny birthday candle reached out of the I in Sims and panic briefly struck Jon before he noticed they'd also completely cleared the metal table of paper.

    Their dæmons were in a pile before the table, Trix, Tim's dæmon and an Armenian Mouflon (therefore the biggest) the base as always, with Zorya sat just behind her head and Patroclus nestled in the dip of one of her curled horns. Oz flew over to them before Jon could stop him, settling on the root of Trix's other horn, right beside where keratin met fur and his wing almost brushed Zorya as he adjusted himself.

    Jon mentally rolled his eyes at the bird, he never had learnt what "professional distance" was.

    ---

    An exploration of how dæmons would interact with the fears and how affects the characters. From S1 to S5

    Or

    I cram more metaphors into this podcast of metaphors

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,607
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    87
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    1,070

    28 Dec 2024

  8. Public Bookmark 17

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    Summary

    Jon is not a fan of Christmas, unfortunately, his assistants very much are. So, when the four of them get snowed in on Christmas Eve and are forced to spend the holiday together, Jon gets dragged into all of their makeshift festivities, and worst of all, he's starting to like it.

    Title is from Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,004
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    110
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    648

    28 Dec 2024

  9. Public Bookmark 55

    Tags
    Summary

    All the way to Scotland, Jon’s daemon can’t stop shivering.

    Martin’s is still nowhere to be found.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,223
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    429
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    1,984

    28 Dec 2024

  10. Public Bookmark 29

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    Summary

    i have been reading many daemon aus recently and i just think what if tma but everyone had little animals to talk to...

    one shot that may become a one shot series

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,279
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    102
    Kudos:
    196
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    2,472

    28 Dec 2024

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "Surely, one would think nothing could be more relaxing for a young Wooster than a week spent by the seaside? - Golf and sand-castle building without an aunt in sight!

    One may think so, indeed, but the combination of several 'friends' with their own agendas, a theatrical production and the mysterious designs of my very own valet conspired to make that week spent in Spindleythorpe-on-sea one of the most memorable and life-changing of the lot..."

    There will be fortune tellers! And Gilbert and Sullivan! And (the chaps are rather glad to hear), plenty of romantic fluffy goodness!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,651
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    77
    Kudos:
    443
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    7,709

    27 Dec 2024

  12. Public Bookmark 5

    Tags
    Summary

    Bertie is a mystery author and Jeeves is his editor. They're in love, but neither has confessed, and it takes one of Bertie's fat-headed friends, Chuffy, to bring them together to realise it

    (the title is from a 1924 song that, amongst others, was performed by Frank Sinatra)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,473
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    617

    26 Dec 2024

  13. Public Bookmark 36

    Tags
    Summary

    Bertie gets all worked up about Getting Caught. Jeeves has a plan. The kitchen's role is one of numerous flat surfaces.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,233
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    366
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    2,688

    26 Dec 2024

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    There’s a heavy, dragging sort of shuffle in the hallway.

    “...memory features prominently throughout the piece, almost a character in its own right…”

    More shuffling. A bump. Oh, what fresh hell…?

    “...will you be exploring more of your own layer of the story in the sequel?”

    The door to the parlour opens, and Armand comes in, absolutely smeared with blood and dragging a dead body.

    “Uhhh… uh, um, there— there was a glitch, can you repeat that last bit?”

    Armand drags the body right to the centre of the room, then straightens up, shaking that ridiculously beautiful hair off his face. “Just for a moment,” he half-says, half-mouths behind Daniel’s laptop. “Don’t mind me.”

    “...if you’re going to more prominently feature the fourth layer of the story — that is, your own — in the sequel.”

    For a second, Daniel wonders what he’s done in his life to deserve this, but then his brain helpfully unfurls a laundry list at least six miles long.

     

    Or: doing interviews from home is difficult when one has an Armand.

    (Updates weekly)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,794
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    487
    Kudos:
    1,332
    Bookmarks:
    115
    Hits:
    17,080

    22 Dec 2024

  15. Public Bookmark 56

    Tags
    Summary

    Six years after publishing his first novel, Oscar takes a working holiday at the seaside in the middle of January, hoping that a change of scenery will finally break his writer’s block. He finds all the inspiration he needs at Coriander, a café run by a gruff, tattooed dwarf who makes a perfect cortado, bakes exquisite pastry, and has absolutely no time for Oscar whatsoever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    96,141
    Chapters:
    23/23
    Comments:
    642
    Kudos:
    357
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    7,238

    21 Oct 2024

  16. Public Bookmark 56

    Tags
    Summary

    Wilde goes to stay at a lighthouse temple of Poseidon to heal from his curse. He's not expecting to fall for the lighthouse's grief-stricken keeper.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,733
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    69
    Kudos:
    295
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    2,436

    20 Oct 2024

  17. Public Bookmark 23

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    Summary

    What if instead of working Z-shift, Lister and Rimmer worked at the coffee shop on Red Dwarf? So far, each chapter either covers a day in their life or it references particular days and what that might look like for them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,584
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    128
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    2,618

    01 Oct 2024

  18. Public Bookmark 19

    Tags
    Summary

    So, Daniel royally fucks up, but the plan to save his job is simple: He'll pull an all-nighter, get his report turned in tomorrow morning, and sleep through the weekend with Armand at his side. All he needs to do is work through the rest of the night without distractions. Easy, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,052
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    157
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2,398

    10 Sep 2024

  19. Public Bookmark 63

    Tags
    Summary

    But honestly Daniel, I’m not sure there's more to you than just a hole.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,317
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    330
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    3,329

    05 Sep 2024

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Mind your tongue, beloved,” Armand warns in his most sticky sweet, honeyed voice. “I used to take great care in putting insolent brats like you in their place.”

    “Yeah? Well…” Daniel leans back and spreads his legs further, an invitation, preening under Armand’s gaze as the vampire drinks him in. He looks up beneath dark eyelashes and flashes his most provocative smile, never breaking eye contact. “They weren't me, were they?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,194
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    1,045
    Bookmarks:
    216
    Hits:
    14,198

    02 Sep 2024

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