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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Wiebe could tell he was wearing Ilya down, but he still looked nervous. "Ilya," Ilya stilled. To his team he was always Rozanov or Roz or Rozy, never Ilya. "You're our guy. There's nobody I'd rather be our captain, to lead this team to another Stanley Cup. It's clear you don't like the guy, but we both know how good this could be."

    Ilya jerked his head in a nod. "We will destroy everyone, this is true." Wiebe seemed satisfied. Ilya stood to leave and delivered one last look at Wiebe "But I do not have to be happy about it."

    ***
    Shane and Ilya are estranged for years after Tuna Meltdown. Then Shane confuses everyone by signing with the Raiders.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,783
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    1,634
    Kudos:
    20,408
    Bookmarks:
    5,648
    Hits:
    312,928

    05 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya pivots smoothly and turns towards Shane, raising one dark eyebrow.

    If you're horny, let's do it
    Ride it, my pony
    My saddle's waitin'
    Come and jump on it

    His jacket comes off next, and he drops it carelessly on the floor. The tank comes off, slow and sensual, as if his body is fighting him to keep it on. It doesn't drop to the floor. This time, Ilya hurls it across the bed.

    Shane laughs despite himself as he catches it, resists the hysterical urge to sniff it and quickly tosses it aside, “You asshole, what if that hit my glasses—”

    Ilya continues undeterred, hands trailing up his chest, and Shane's breath catches, his body heating as his nerves spark to life. Ilya’s hands make their way to his curls, where he squeezes them with both hands as he thrusts his crotch up in the air.

    Shane snickers, then he falls back against his pillows as a breathless sound erupts from him again.

    Inspired by yet another tweet from @paulasoldestson. OR, Shane's ever-growing list of songs he has banned because Ilya does not know how to behave himself.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,801
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    231
    Kudos:
    5,789
    Bookmarks:
    1,000
    Hits:
    72,119

    04 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Jackie and Hayden conspire to set Shane up with one of Jackie's friends by inviting him over for dinner without telling him that said friend will be present.

    Shane and Ilya decide it's time they come out to the Pikes as a couple, so Shane invites Ilya over to the Pikes' place for dinner without sending Hayden a forewarning.

    Cue: a jealous man, a confused house guest, and one very kid-friendly Russian.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,942
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    309
    Kudos:
    14,954
    Bookmarks:
    2,311
    Hits:
    86,801

    03 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Hollander narrowed his eyes. “Are you… jealous?” he asked suspiciously.

    Ilya scoffed. “You can fuck whoever you want, I don’t give a shit.”

    “...Right.” Hollander pulled on his boxers before he dropped the towel. “Because it’s not like you don’t fuck other people too, you know.”

    “I know.”

    “And it’s not that you- you aren’t enough, or whatever.” Hollander turned even more red, looking down. “But, like, we don’t get to see each other that often.”

    “I know.”

    “And, you know, it turns out you can have a lot of anonymous sex if you’re gay. People are surprisingly okay with it.” He said it earnestly, like he was the first person in the world to make this discovery.

    Ilya forced himself to swallow, keeping his face carefully blank. “Is that so?”

    ~~

    OR: Shane downloads Grindr. Ilya goes into a jealous spiral
    set pre-tuna melt, 2015ish

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,233
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    310
    Kudos:
    13,901
    Bookmarks:
    2,257
    Hits:
    111,453

    02 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    After 18-year-old Shane's older brother wins the Stanley Cup, he decides to come stay at the Hollander family home for a couple of weeks to relax. Annoyingly, he also decides to bring along his super cocky, super hot teammate, 26-year-old Ilya Rozanov.

    *

    " “What,” Shane breathed, eyes glued to the screen. Rozanov had taken off his helmet and was now smiling at the commissioner. His usual shit-eating commercial-friendly Colgate-smile had been replaced by a more genuine one. He looked almost reverent as he ducked his head a little and shook the commissioner's hand. Shane could swear he saw dampness rimming the Russian’s grey-blue eyes.

    Despite him being a good friend of Spencer’s, Shane had never particularly taken to Rozanov. Cocky assholes with god complexes and unapologetic ragebaiting-kinks weren’t exactly his cup of tea."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,971
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    177
    Kudos:
    1,695
    Bookmarks:
    440
    Hits:
    34,323

    01 Mar 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    “Shane?” Ilya asks again. “What happened?” His gloveless hand twitches and he lifts it a fraction of an inch towards Shane.

    Shane tosses his own gloves to the ice and reaches forward, lacing their fingers together. “You took a bad hit,” he says, gritting his teeth against the fear clawing at his guts. “Flipped headfirst into the ice. Are you okay?”

    Ilya groans in answer and squeezes his hand, though Shane can't tell if he meant to do that or not.

    Suddenly, there are people all around them. Shane shifts protectively close before he realizes it’s the medical team.

    “Hollander, get back to your bench,” someone says, but there’s no way Shane’s going. Even if he wanted to, Ilya’s gripping his hand like a lifeline, eyes finally locked on Shane’s face. Shane isn’t leaving him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,265
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    14
    Comments:
    1,215
    Kudos:
    27,838
    Bookmarks:
    4,959
    Hits:
    219,215

    28 Feb 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Hayden Pike has a babysitting emergency, and no one else to call.

    Shane Hollander would take the kids, if not for his mysterious houseguest.

    Boston Lily, apparently, would be more than happy to help Shane watch the kids.

    Too bad Hayden isn't going to leave his children in a house with someone he’s never met.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,097
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    358
    Kudos:
    13,599
    Bookmarks:
    2,014
    Hits:
    69,131

    27 Feb 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    zuko nation @yaoionice

    tell me why the rozanov leaks have me sobbing into my pillow … god i see what you have done for others

    oh captain my captain @jimothykirk

    Replying to @yaoionice

    RIGHT like i think love might be real

    dani @danisqueerbar

    Replying to @jimothykirk

    we found love in a hopeless place (rozanov’s dms)

     

    Or, the internet reacts to leaked messages between Ilya Rozanov and the mysterious Jane.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,526
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    744
    Kudos:
    28,537
    Bookmarks:
    4,923
    Hits:
    206,250

    23 Feb 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    “Papa?”

    “Yes, solnyshko?”

    “Can I tell you something and you promise not to tell Dad?”
    ---
    or, ilya reminds their son that genetics don't make a family, love does. and his dads love him very much.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,911
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    253
    Kudos:
    6,733
    Bookmarks:
    1,209
    Hits:
    55,293

    23 Feb 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Sarah
    Does anyone have the number for Shane's girl from Boston? I feel bad that they've been seeing each other for this long and we've never added her here.

    Jackie
    Oh good point! Let me ask Hayden.

    Jackie has added Lily to the conversation

    Lily
    what
    what is this

    Or: Ilya Rozanov is, apparently, one of the girls.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,407
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3,558
    Kudos:
    116,889
    Bookmarks:
    21,837
    Hits:
    1,020,873

    21 Feb 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Cliff had to approach this correctly, or Ilya was liable to sock him in the jaw and clam up entirely. Subtlety was his friend here.

    And all of that flew immediately out of his head the moment that Ilya opened his front door, looking sweaty and shirtless and mildly pissed off, which was pretty much his standard look.

    “Are you moving to Canada for some fuckboy?” was how the question came out of his mouth instead.

    AKA the time that Cliff Marleau figured almost all of it out

    Now available in Russian!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,631
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    550
    Kudos:
    22,947
    Bookmarks:
    2,470
    Hits:
    163,203

    21 Feb 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    [Tweet] @EvanDykstraOfficial: If hypothetically someone needed to get gum out of their toddler’s hair before their wife gets home, how would one do this? Asking for a friend

    [Tweet] @roz81: use olive oil. rub into gum. ta da gum gone

    [Tweet] @hazyhayes: Get a lot of gum stuck in your hairdo, Roz?

    [Tweet] @roz81: no but holmberg does not know how to spit gum out before napping on plane

    -----

    or, a childless Ilya Rozanov is somehow the go to guy for everyone's parenting advice needs

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,209
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    334
    Kudos:
    21,637
    Bookmarks:
    1,850
    Hits:
    139,213

    21 Feb 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    NHL Enthusiast @hockey4life
    This is officially the weirdest day in All Of Hockey

    Ily-a @ilyahoezenov
    So we’re agreed that they’re not actually getting married right. Like something else is going on
    Hayden Pike’s 5th Child @heydenpike
    Well obviously Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov aren’t actually getting married, they’ve obviously been fucking with us all day

    Or:
    What if Shane and Ilya decide to explode the internet by letting their friends post about their wedding, before anyone knows they're together. A chaotic way to come out if they could do it on their own terms.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,272
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    635
    Kudos:
    21,295
    Bookmarks:
    3,409
    Hits:
    141,307

    21 Feb 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    “Holy shit, dude,” Hayden whispers, too loudly, as he pulls Shane away. “No way you were just talking to Ilya Rozanov.”

    “Uh, yeah. We just met. Wait, did he lie to me?” Shane asks, looking back over his shoulder where Ilya is now standing next to a short but very muscular woman with long black hair. “What does he play?”

    Hayden stops, so Shane does too.

    “You don’t know who that was?” 

    Shane makes a face that says ‘no shit’, and waits for an answer. 

    “Dude. You are so innocent. Ilya Rozanov, ‘Russia’s Greatest Love Machine’?” Hayden says, like it’s obvious. 

    Shane looks at him blankly, and then Hayden laughs. Not like, a chuckle. He full on cackles, bending over like he can’t even contain it. “Man, he’s like prolific.”

    “At what?” Shane snaps, because he’s getting really sick of not being in on the joke. 

    “He’s a porn star, man.” 

    “A-” Shane says, swallowing thickly. “What?” 

    ---

    Ilya is a porn star, Shane is a hockey player, and their paths cross.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,214
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    1,164
    Kudos:
    39,260
    Bookmarks:
    8,828
    Hits:
    472,473

    20 Feb 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

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    “Are you Rozanov’s whore now? You will catch something, Hollander. He’s a walking STD. Pathetic.” Drapeau joined in, his tone mocking Shane as if he had any leg to stand on.

    “What did you just say?” Shane got into Drapeau’s face, his muscular frame swarming the goalie’s body. “Say that again, and I will smash your nose in, Drapeau. Try. Me.”

    He was snarling into his face, spit flying everywhere. Hayden and J.J came to try to separate them, but Shane didn’t let them. “I will end your fucking career if you ever speak about him.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,537
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    203
    Kudos:
    13,292
    Bookmarks:
    2,456
    Hits:
    158,108

    20 Feb 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,644
    Kudos:
    55,494
    Bookmarks:
    11,311
    Hits:
    384,007

    20 Feb 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    “We had a wedding this weekend, Miss Emma! With Uncle Shane,” Ruby Pike announces during Monday morning circle time. Miss Emma nods and tries to play it cool. It was exciting when the Pike twins mentioned Uncle Shane. Like he was just their dad’s totally normal BFF instead of the greatest hockey player Canada had seen in two decades. But she wasn’t going to fangirl in front of the kids.

    “Well, it was a pretend wedding—” Ruby starts to clarify, but then Jade Pike interrupts her.

    “Uncle Ilya said if you do the rings it’s a real wedding.”

    Miss Emma’s eyebrows shoot up into her hairline. Uncle…Ilya? As in…

    “Uncle Ilya said the rings and kiss made it real so we should tell Daddy to get him and Uncle Shane a very, VERY expensive gift,” Jade continues.

    There’s that name again. Uncle Ilya. In the same breath as Uncle Shane. With the word kiss. That couldn’t be right…

    Or: Five times someone unexpected keeps Shane and Ilya’s secret, and one time they don’t have to. Featuring the Pike twins, Zane Boodram’s pregnant wife, Ilya’s neighbors, and more.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,418
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    301
    Kudos:
    8,657
    Bookmarks:
    1,581
    Hits:
    55,361

    19 Feb 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

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    “Puppy!” Came Jade's happy cry as Chiron licked her face. Both of Hayden's twins lay giggling on the floor of the Ottawa locker room, a squirming puppy bouncing between them.
    “Can we get a puppy, Uncle Ilya?” Ruby's voice rose even louder as she spoke, eyes pleading towards Ilya.
    Shane heard the door slam open behind him. Hayden Pike, his best friend and beloved father, staggered to his side. Out of the corner of his eye, Shane could see him taking in the mess in front of them.
    “Well, shit.”
    Or
    What if Shane and Ilya's relationship was revealed to the Ottawa Centaurs before Hayden's video. It was still Hayden's fault though.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,725
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    12
    Comments:
    725
    Kudos:
    22,846
    Bookmarks:
    2,291
    Hits:
    156,727

    19 Feb 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Max stands, pacing again, and says, “I mean, what do I do? I can’t tell them I know now. It’s way too late for that.”

    “It’s really okay,” Troy says far too optimistically. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

    “Yeah, you can say that because you're not the one who heard Ilya tell Shane he misses his slutty little mouth."

    Or: The Centaurs' newest rookie speaks Russian. It's too bad that Shane and Ilya don't know that.

    Read in Russian here!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,506
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,073
    Kudos:
    39,477
    Bookmarks:
    6,994
    Hits:
    238,002

    18 Feb 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Kyle: Your sense of age is so weird. So Scott’s elderly and Luca’s a baby?
    Ilya: Yes
    Shane: Luca’s older than we were when we got together though
    Harris: He IS?
    Kyle: literally wtf is this timeline

    In which Harris adds Ilya and Shane to a gay WAGs group chat

    (Can be read as a standalone)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,609
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    764
    Kudos:
    27,171
    Bookmarks:
    2,237
    Hits:
    274,818

    17 Feb 2026

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