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Ed's eyes cut to Stede, who’s suddenly gone pink and still.
“I’m not going to like, leap out the window or anything,” Lucius says, wary. “I just have to pee.”
“About that, Lucius,” Stede says, as casually as a dropped anvil. “I was wondering.”
Series
- Part 3 of per my last email
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isn't this exactly where you'd like me by ephemeralgrime
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
01 Mar 2024
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Izzy's spent years trying to inoculate himself against the kind of performative onstage groping that used to leave him aching for more. You swallow a little of Ed’s poison every show, and eventually, you're immune.
a legally-distinct-from-Warped-Tour early 2000s bandom AU ❤️
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Step 1: ANOINT BODY W/ HIGH SMOKE POINT OIL. PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO GENITALS.
Step 2: BECOME CONDUIT FOR SEX MAGIC.
Step 3: COPULATION.
Step 4: HEX RESOLUTION*
* IF UNSUCCESSFUL, SEE: BIOHAZARD CLEANUP PROCEDURE -
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“Okay, yeah, nope,” Lucius blurts out, pushing back against the trough with enough force to send water sloshing over the trough’s edge. It seeps cold and briny into Stede’s shoes. “Stede. You’re— sorry, this is so awkward, but you’re feeling me up.”
“What?” Stede says, palms flat against Lucius’ tail, mid-grope. He looks down at his hands, then back to Lucius, whose gills are billowing like laundry in the wind. “No, I’m not.”
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Lucius finds Oluwande exactly where he left him a half hour before: melting into the settee, waiting for the sea to drain and the earth to swallow him whole.
"You'll start growing into it if you sit any longer,” he tuts, fussing with the curtains.
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Carol is silent for a moment, looking down, letting the feeling build up inside her until it’s overwhelming.
The words spill from her: “Can I hurt you?”
Bookmarked by ephemeralgrime
30 Dec 2025
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Major Arcana by puddingontheritz
Fandoms: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF, Sayonara Wild Hearts (Video Game)
13 Aug 2020
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Jenna Stoeber doesn't much go in for the arcane. But when her vivid, disturbing dreams about her hot friend start bleeding over into real life at said hot friend's fun cabin weekend upstate, it's up to Jenna to dust off the ol' tarot deck and save her coworkers from whatever mischief is haunting the nearby woods.
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"I just think it should be a surprise. They get home and then there's another person in the bed. And if they ask you any questions about it, you just stone-face it. You pretend like you don't hear them. And then eventually you're in a poly relationship." - Ben Doyle
"You can gaslight them and make them think they agreed to it previously." - Sam Denby
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,699
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 41
- Bookmarks:
- 5
- Hits:
- 425
Bookmarked by ephemeralgrime
04 Oct 2025
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"Your outie hasn’t been attending to your physiological needs. It’s affecting your work performance.”
Mark gets an unconventional performance review.
Bookmarked by ephemeralgrime
23 Apr 2025
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Summary
It starts as a scratch on her wrist. A thin red welt.
Helena notices it in the shower, standing under the too-hot water, trying to make her skin raw enough to feel new.
Bookmarked by ephemeralgrime
23 Feb 2025

