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A Treatise on Simulated Romantic Dynamics (or, How to Accidentally Fall in Love with Your Fake Boyfriend) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
29 Sep 2025
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Summary
“They already think we’re together,” Kaveh points out, as if this is something normal people say in daylight. “The rumors are unstoppable. Have you seen what they’re writing on the public notice boards? I’m practically a martyr. You're some kind of cold-blooded dom in everyone’s mind—”
Alhaitham blinks. “A what.”
Kaveh waves his hand. “Never mind, the point is: they think we’re dating. Or hate-dating. Or secretly engaged in some kind of enemies-to-lovers slow-burn death match.”
Alhaitham cannot believe this is a sentence that has occurred. In his kitchen.
“They think we’re in love,” Kaveh concludes, triumphant and slightly breathless. “And you know what that means?”
Alhaitham stares. “That Sumeru needs better education policy.”
“That means,” Kaveh says, undeterred, “we can get ahead of it. Control the narrative. Pretend to be a couple. Just for a little while. Just to throw them off.”
Or, Alhaitham and Kaveh decide to fake a relationship, and the feelings never stop being real.
Series
- Part 24 of Kavetham / Haikaveh Oneshots & Twoshots
- Part 19 of A Treatise on Intellectual Dumbasses and Their Incomprehensible Love
Bookmarked by fancyvans
30 Sep 2025
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Summary
"Well- I guess I'll just have to beat you next time!"
"I'd like to see you try. But don't come crying to mommy if you lose again tho."
"Come on, don't underestimate me like that. We'll have to see on the day we actually have the match, and I'm looking foward to it!"
Bookmarked by fancyvans
26 Apr 2025
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the gates of heaven (open up to you) by moraslayer
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
02 Jan 2023
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7 minutes.
He wouldn’t even waste a second.
Bookmarked by fancyvans
26 Apr 2025
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After nearly a decade of pining, Alhaitham finally decides that he’s had enough of waiting and decides to flirt with Kaveh.
And what better way to confess than using his knowledge.
After all, as a scholar—Alhaitham did not study 20 languages before graduating for nothing.
Or Five times Alhaitham flirts with Kaveh using endearments in languages he doesn’t know, and one time Kaveh has had enough of Alhaitham ‘insulting’ him and decides to investigate.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,227
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 71
- Kudos:
- 1,278
- Bookmarks:
- 187
- Hits:
- 10,419
Bookmarked by fancyvans
30 Mar 2025
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Delayed Assignment by kirishit for Starlight_delight
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
09 Sep 2024
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Summary
Alhaitham took a class within the architecture curriculum solely because of a certain professor. It’s worth mentioning that he always turns in his assignments late to spend more time alone with him.
Gift for Starlight_delight for the Haikaveh exchange!! ദ്(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 0
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 110
- Bookmarks:
- 4
- Hits:
- 988
Bookmarked by fancyvans
29 Mar 2025
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laundry and taxes by raibo888 (ftaephoria) for eraiklys
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
11 Sep 2024
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Summary
(In every lifetime, I want to do this with you.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1
- Kudos:
- 102
- Bookmarks:
- 7
- Hits:
- 883
Bookmarked by fancyvans
29 Mar 2025
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tangled in love by empyreankvhs for rinrin_the_blob
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
13 Sep 2024
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Summary
'"It's simple, isn't it?" Cyno leaned forward as he spoke, hands resting on the information desk. "Just take him on a date."
After staring blankly at Cyno for a few moments, Alhaitham sighed. “If there was an award for the most unhelpful friend, you’d win the vote by a landslide,” he hissed out as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “How am I meant to ask him?”
“Just say this: ‘Hey Kaveh, would you like to go on a date with me?’” Cyno replied, an amused smile tugging at his lips. “You said subtle hints weren’t working, right? So just be forward; ask him outright.”'
or;
After going to Cyno for advice, Alhaitham organises a date with Kaveh. Unfortunately, Kaveh has plans of his own and unintentionally sabotages Alhaitham's plans. Chaos ensues (but not really).- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,584
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 2
- Kudos:
- 331
- Bookmarks:
- 38
- Hits:
- 2,444
Bookmarked by fancyvans
29 Mar 2025
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my profs cant stand each other by ryuzakel for alcazary
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
17 Oct 2024
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Summary
Floating around the Reddit communities frequented by students of the Akademiya and Sumerians is an on-and-off topic: do Professor Alhaitham and Professor Kaveh hate each other? With multiple posts detailing their fights both on and off paper, many students have good reason to believe they're at least rivals.
A fun and short fic with shenanigans on various subreddits featuring Alhaitham and Kaveh reacting to some of it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,925
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 393
- Bookmarks:
- 69
- Hits:
- 2,330
Bookmarked by fancyvans
28 Mar 2025
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Summary
Kaveh was a very simple man. He worked as a barista on the side as he was getting his masters degree for architecture at one of the most prestigious universities in the nation.
Overall, despite countless all-nighters to meet deadlines and struggles to make ends meet, he was happy.
Enter Alhaitham.
Not only was he the most annoying person Kaveh has had the misfortune of running into, but he was consistent in his visits. Every other day, at 9:38 AM, he came into Kaveh’s coffee shop.
At least he was consistent in everything. His belligerent demeanor, his order, and his arrival time.
Bookmarked by fancyvans
26 Mar 2025
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Summary
Scaramouche is an absolute menace of a CEO. Lumine is his new and nearly perfect secretary. For some reason, he is deeply affected by everything she is, and decides he needs to beat her at being so perfect.
(in which Lumine accidentally tames the brat inside Scaramouche)
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,537
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 27
- Kudos:
- 404
- Bookmarks:
- 52
- Hits:
- 5,094
Bookmarked by fancyvans
25 Mar 2025
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Nahida peers at him from over the top of her notebook, clearly unimpressed. “Why did you bring me here in the first place?”
Which is a good question. If it were any other time, Scaramouche would’ve simply opted to look after her in Mrs. Rukkhadevata’s house. But he’s chosen to take them to Puspa Café today, because —
Well, it's definitely not because he heard Lumine would be picking up the afternoon shifts at the counter for the month. No, that’s ridiculous. An absolutely preposterous thought.
(Unfortunately for Scaramouche, Nahida sees everything.)
Bookmarked by fancyvans
24 Mar 2025
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One's Birthday Wish by galacticbaseballer (minthoneybasil)
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
04 Jan 2023
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Summary
Lumine shows up at Scaramouche's doorstep on his birthday with take-out and a cake.
Bookmarked by fancyvans
21 Mar 2025
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The Balladeer arrives at an important party with a young lady.
Nothing could've prepared the attendants for what was going to happen next.
[scrlmi week day 2 - mafia au]
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,172
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 6
- Kudos:
- 143
- Bookmarks:
- 13
- Hits:
- 1,916
Bookmarked by fancyvans
21 Mar 2025
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"If showing ones love means gifting them worn flowers or childish chocolate hearts once a year then it's even more pathetic than I initially thought." He drawled in return, eyes darkening. "This love will fade once the sun rises."
Lumine arched a brow at his claim, the blonde tilting her head aside as she looked at him.
"It's not like they only show their love on that day." She returned, eyes narrowed. "It's just that they put in even more effort than usual."
Scaramouche scoffed. "It's silly."
Lumine rolled her eyes."Of course it's silly to someone who expresses his affection through insults."
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In which he buys her flowers.Series
- Part 9 of Sarush's Twitter drabbles
Bookmarked by fancyvans
20 Mar 2025
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Summary
He slid to the ground, staring up at the cloudy sky with bleary eyes. Already, his body felt cold, and the potent taste of iron was all that he could swallow. Should he really be smirking in a condition like this? Or was it fundamentally funny, that he should be taken down so simply? Pawn to E-3, with no one else to take the blow.
He couldn’t tell if it was his body tingling from the lack of blood, the numbness setting it, or the rain that had started to fall. All he knew is that he felt cold. He knew damn well that no one would miss him. After all, who would miss a cruel superior? If anything, the Fatui would miss his strategic advances, but it was a 50/50 if they even remembered what he looked like. Scaramouche laughed, the sound unfamiliar to his ears.
Rain batted his face, and with a sigh of acceptance, he closed his eyes. The world went black, and as did his frame of consciousness. The pain overtook him, and he slipped into an endless slumber.
At least, that’s what he thought it would be, until he woke up on a plush, pink pillow.
Bookmarked by fancyvans
20 Mar 2025
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under my sleeve (as if you never left) by nekonomsicon
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
14 Mar 2025
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Summary
She's just a girl, he's just a boy—is anyone going to tell them how obvious it is? No?
(not you, Aether, sit down)
Well then—let Operation “Scam Scaramouche Into A Valentine’s Day Date” commence!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,150
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 15
- Kudos:
- 167
- Bookmarks:
- 17
- Hits:
- 2,294
Bookmarked by fancyvans
19 Mar 2025
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The President Is An Exception by astralshuttle
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
13 Mar 2025
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Summary
5 times perfect student council president Lumine scolds Wanderer for getting into trouble + 1 time Wanderer "scolds" Lumine for getting into trouble
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,281
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 104
- Bookmarks:
- 13
- Hits:
- 1,110
Bookmarked by fancyvans
14 Mar 2025
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Summary
"Do you think we're lovers in every universe?"
...
"Assuming that multiple universes even exist, it would be statistically impossible, or at the very least extremely improbable."
--
Kaveh asks the big, important questions.
And no, Alhaitham wouldn't love Kaveh if he was a worm.
Bookmarked by fancyvans
01 Mar 2025
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“Impressive, isn’t it?” Stu adjusts his suspenders. “Two hundred kids and not a single Nick or Nicky in the bunch. Like we were just waitin’ for you.”
or: nick meets the family
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,896
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 106
- Kudos:
- 10,765
- Bookmarks:
- 1,541
- Hits:
- 105,152
Bookmarked by fancyvans
18 Feb 2025
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It's A Good Day To Be A Cat by writingrosez for blackwaterrain
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
01 May 2024
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Summary
“Alhaitham…?” Kaveh’s voice began to waver as he asked, “Why is there a cat on my bed?”
“What are you talking about?” Alhaitham answered. “It’s just me. There is no cat.”
“Okay… I think I’ve lost it,” Kaveh mumbled to himself. “Alhaitham is gone, there’s a cat in my room and my head really hurts.”
After Alhaitham shares his first kiss with Kaveh, he transforms into a cat. Completely tossed into unknown waters, Alhaitham now has to figure out how to revert back into a human all while navigating the life of a cat.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,760
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 12
- Kudos:
- 526
- Bookmarks:
- 78
- Hits:
- 6,231
Bookmarked by fancyvans
17 Feb 2025