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Summary
The problem with Auror training isn’t having to work with Potter. The real problem is the mandatory nightmare simulations.
“Don’t let them get into your head,” Potter says, voice easy. He grins at Draco because they’re friends now. It’s horrible because it’s the realest thing Draco has had.
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“How have you been sleeping?” Harry asks. “Sorry, you know I have to ask.”
“I had a dream about you,” you want to say.
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Harry adopts eighteen kittens and punches a photographer. Draco paints his fingernails bright blue.
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It’s 2005, and Draco Malfoy says, “Fuck the Ministry,” Harry works as a handyman in muggle London, and Draco should really stop pissing off the Squib gangs.
Or: Harry beats up a pimp and isn’t sorry about it, Draco deals black market potions, and they’re shagging. Again.
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Harry is a hitman who can’t die. Draco tried to kill himself last year. Harry returns from a mission, Draco wears bright pink boxer briefs, and Harry calls Death a cunt because he can.
Or: we’re taking a deep dive into Harry’s head.
Malfoy asks if I died this time. It’s a joke because I can’t die. Turns out when you cheat Death too many times, the cunt doesn’t want you back. What does that mean for me, that not even Death wants me anymore. Yeah I call Death a cunt. Malfoy wants Death and Death doesn’t want me and we’re in a fucking love triangle like in the movies.
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Shane Hollander's week, starting the day one of his rookies abruptly comes out of the closet in a post game press conference. For a game that they lost.
Series
- Part 3 of Heated Rivalry Fics
Bookmarked by floydig
15 Mar 2026
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Summary
Hockey's Prince Charming is kind of an asshole and Jake Merrell is trying not to let it get to him. He can't pretend Shane Hollander is the worst captain in the league, and he's looking forward to seeing the Bears (his former team). Even if it is for a match against them.
Series
- Part 2 of Heated Rivalry Fics
Bookmarked by floydig
13 Mar 2026
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Summary
Shane's new rookie is great at hockey, hair care, and making Shane think about things that don't matter and distract him from the things that give his life meaning: Ilya Rozanov and hockey.
Series
- Part 1 of Heated Rivalry Fics
Bookmarked by floydig
23 Feb 2026
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Summary
Never mind the next two weeks, the next eight hours stretched endlessly in front of him. He had no idea how to occupy his time. His house was basically empty, which sounded sad but was really a good thing, evidence he’d built himself the life he wanted – where he always had something to do, outside and with other people. Ilya had been restless for as long as he could remember, had never been able to sit still. He’d gotten in trouble for it as a kid at the dinner table and he got in trouble for it as a full grown man on the team bus. He’d gotten in trouble for it when the doctors had been trying to take the x-ray, his leg jumping without his permission.
Ilya gets injured, stops leaving the house, loses his mind, learns to read tarot, and sends Shane Hollander a lot of photos.
Series
- Part 4 of perfect from now on
- Language:
- English
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- 19,009
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Bookmarked by floydig
16 Feb 2026
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Summary
“I made a mess,” Shane says, barely above a whisper, the words sticking around the lump in his throat. “It’s fucking. Gross, Rozanov, it’s so disgusting.”
“Hm,” Ilya says, considering, looking down at Shane’s dick where it’s lying hard and flushed and untouched across his stomach. “Not gross enough to go soft?”
Bookmarked by floydig
16 Feb 2026

