lookingforatardis
Fandoms
- Teen Wolf (TV) (13)
- Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman (13)
- Call Me By Your Name (2017) (13)
- Actor RPF (4)
- 9-1-1 (TV) (3)
Recent works
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Don't let it fool you, Wings wouldn't help you by lookingforatardis
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV) RPF
14 Jan 2026
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Summary
"I think there is something very interesting about exploring sensuality and erotica just with your voice. It's like you're private, you're alone there with a mic and an audio engineer and you just get to kind of be in your own world and figure out what that means to you and you don't have your body to express yourself." - Hudson Williams
-His eyes fluttered as Connor’s hand lifted to his face, echoing the words as he breathed, “You’ve been staring at me all day…breathing through your mouth. It’s embarrassing.”
-If you thought they could do this and I wouldn't write them rehearsing it, you were dead wrong.
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Summary
Hudson rubbed at his chest absentmindedly. "So uh," he started, eyes trailing over Connor as he took the final drag of his cigarette and put it out on the concrete. "In the least judgmental way possible, is this a thing for you?"
Connor looked over at him and squinted. "In the least judgmental way possible?" he laughed. "What are you talking about?"
Hudson raised his brows and shifted towards him, reaching over to press his palms over Connor's chest. "This."
"Ah." Connor sighed and lifted one of his hands to circle one of Hudson's wrists. "Why?"
"Dude, you grab my tits like every chance you get," Hudson laughed softly and dropped his hands to Connor's thighs. He massaged the muscles, knowing Connor did a leg heavy workout after they finished filming despite the fact that they were doing hockey scenes the next day. A satisfied groan slid past his lips as he trailed his hands over Hudson's arms, resting a palm over one of his forearms.
"I mean, it's a good chest," he shrugged.
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What the fuck do you actually want from me? by lookingforatardis
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
04 Dec 2025
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Summary
"What? What the fuck do you want, Rozanov? You haven't answered a text from me in like six months! You won't even acknowledge I exist unless there's a fucking camera pointed at us and then it's for some fucking clown show. So yeah, what the fuck do you actually want from me?"
Shane waited a long time to let Ilya fuck him, unsure if it was really something he could let himself have. But even in all his calculations, he couldn't have prepared for Ilya going radio silent for months after, leaving him yearning for something he wasn't even sure was allowed, until it all comes to a head in Vegas.
Or: the yearning fic through episode 2
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my nervous energy will stay, i hope you realize one day - by lookingforatardis
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
27 Nov 2025
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Summary
He turned back to the view, wishing desperately something was different. That he was different. That he didn't fucking care about Hollander or this fucking award, or the NHL or his father forgetting details every day, or his mother dying before he made it, or his brother ruining his own life. Wished he didn't care about what car he drove or the watch on his wrist or the number in his bank account. It didn't matter. None of it fucking mattered.
It wasn't even about any of that. It wasn't about anything. Ilya just...
Ilya just. Wished he didn't have to go home.
He hadn't even realized he'd said anything when Hollander leaned closer, pressing into his space. "What was that?" he asked, his cologne filling Ilya's senses.
Fuck. Ilya wished he was stronger.Or, the Ch8 (2011 Vegas Rookie of the Year) rewrite from Ilya's POV that has haunted me in my latest reread. Will correspond with ep1 of the show but was written before it aired!
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I need you so much closer by lookingforatardis
Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)
25 Aug 2024
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Summary
Henry carefully lines a shot up and shakes his head, hating that he’s come to this. He takes the picture of the gardens and sends it to Alex with a clenched jaw. I’ve been freed for the afternoon, he types. It makes it seem as though he’s having a much better time than he is, but well — Alex doesn’t need to know his entire day hinges on whether Alex is awake right now or not.
The reply comes instantly.ACD: you forgot to turn the camera around sweetheart
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Henry escapes to the gardens while missing his dad, but quickly realizes he's not the only person he misses, and reaches out for comfort he's not sure how to ask for. On the other side of the world, Alex is realizing with a quiet desperation that maybe Henry means more to him than he knows how to express. Set a bit before they go to Austin, somewhat canon compliant in book verse
Recent series
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- Words:
- 43,983
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 340
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find your way back by lookingforatardis
Fandom Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
17 Feb 2022
Summary
"This ruined puzzle is beige / With the pieces all face down /So the placing goes slowly / The picture's of anything other than it's meant to be
But the hours, they creep / Patterns repeat / Don't be concerned / You know I'll be fine on my own / I never said, "Don't go."
I've written a note / It's pressed between pages / That you've marked to find your way back / It says, "Does he ever get the girl?"
But what if the pages stay pressed / The chapters unfinished / The story too dull to unfold? / Does he ever get the girl?
This basement's a coffin / I'm buried alive / I'll die in here just to be safe / I'll die in here just to be safe
'Cause you're gone / I get nothing / And you're off with / Barely a sigh / I never said, "Goodbye."
So I've written a note / It's pressed between pages / That you've marked to find your way back / It says, "Does he ever get the girl?"
But the hours, they creep / Patterns repeat / Don't be concerned / You know I'll be fine on my own / I never said, "Don't go."
Don't go"
- Words:
- 43,082
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 23
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The Blank Years by lookingforatardis
Fandom Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
25 Apr 2018
Summary
"Then came the blank years." One paragraph, we get one single paragraph in the book about the nine years Oliver and Elio didn't speak. Two years of scattered letters/calls and then nine years until Oliver visits B. and Elio's parents call him in America to tell him. I'm filling those nine years with ficlets to get over the fact that so much time passes, that so many things must happen that we just don't know.
- Words:
- 10,976
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 39
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
“Game is over,” he says. “You won. I lost. I was annoying. Normal.”
“That’s not—” Shane starts, then stops, because he actually doesn't know how to finish that thought without sounding like an idiot. His jaw works, teeth grinding together.
That's not what I meant. That's not the point. You said I was boring and you were right and I need you to say it again so I know where I stand, so I know what you think of me, so I can stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.
He settles for: “You were kind of an asshole.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,476
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- 1/1
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- 209
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- 4,432
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Bookmarked by lookingforatardis
26 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
AHHHHHHHHHH I PRACTICALLY HIGHLIGHTED EVERY LINE I NEED 100k !!
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Summary
“So,” Ilya says, dragging the word out. He’s swiping at non-existent crumbs on the counter, avoiding his eyes. “You have dinner at parents on Christmas, yes?”
“Yeah.”
Ilya nods. “I can house-sit while you are away. Make place pretty, if you have decorations. Make it less boring.”
Shane’s eyebrows fly up. “What? You don’t want to come with?”
Finally, Ilya looks up at him. Hesitantly, he asks, “You want me to come with?”
Frowning, Shane says, “I– yeah. Yeah, of course. You think I invited you here just so you could spend Christmas alone?”
Looking away, Ilya shrugs. “I am intruder here, Hollander. You have family. I do not. Makes situation… difficult, maybe. You forget the world thinks we are rivals.”
“Not difficult,” Shane says immediately. “You want to come, you’re coming.”
Or: Ilya's in Montreal alone during the week leading up to the Winter Classic. Shane doesn't let him spend Christmas alone.
Series
- Part 4 of cjo + hr
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the cadence of a secret by marigoldens
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
17 Jan 2026
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Summary
Did you figure anything out? Shane writes, and flips the page around for Ilya to read it.
Wont like the answer, Ilya’s written, in his quick hand.
So he doesn’t have to take the pen back, Shane just shrugs. What?
Ilya sits down at the desk for a steady surface to explain.
3 things
1 its curse. if true we can break it
2 its spell. if true we can break it
3 we are soulmates. if true we are fucked“No,” Shane mutters, before he can stop himself. Immediately, he slams a hand over his mouth.
or: Ilya and Shane are soulmates, and their bond prevents them from both talking and being apart. Unfortunately, the only thing that’ll make the pain stop is confessing the one thing they can say: that they’re in love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,980
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 169
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- 1,209
- Bookmarks:
- 321
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- 20,952
Bookmarked by lookingforatardis
24 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
sobbed through several chapters. Incredible angst, really solid hurt comfort, and VERY cool and unique soulmate bond. It’s almost like Hanahaki and a soulmate au in one - fucking obsessed
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a case of you by ausgezeichnet
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
13 Jan 2026
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Summary
Ilya and Shane soulbond with a handshake in a freezing parking lot in Saskatchewan. It actually doesn’t change very much, until Shane’s concussion drives everything haywire, forcing them into close proximity and an earlier confrontation with all the feelings they’ve been trying to ignore.
Or: as it turns out, it’s easier than you’d think to be in someone’s head and still not know how they feel.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,842
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 509
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- 3,929
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- 1,150
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- 66,971
Bookmarked by lookingforatardis
22 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
REALLLLY good interesting soul bond fic 🥺🥺
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Summary
Shane doesn't fall apart loudly. He spirals, shuts down, missteps. Ilya pays attention. He stays. He helps Shane learn what it feels like to be noticed without being corrected.
or, 5 times Shane needs help regulating his autism, and Ilya is there for him + 1 time Shane is there for Ilya.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,155
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 151
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- 6,615
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- 1,305
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Bookmarked by lookingforatardis
21 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
When it’s too much, when the noise stacks too high, when the day stretches past his ability to hold it together, he doesn’t break outward.
He collapses inward.
//
Goddddddd this person is in my brain