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the inherent romance of classical conditioning (or, the fine art of emotional recognition) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
26 Feb 2020
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Summary
It's stupid. Atsumu isn't a romantic, no matter how many times he's imagined laying Sakusa out and finally really touching him.
So there's no explanation for why Atsumu is constantly stuck thinking about brushing his fingertips against the meat of Sakusa's palms or the prominent tendons in his freaky wrists.
There's no explanation for why doing dishes sets off a warm burn in his ribcage, or why when he smells disinfectant he inhales like he's walking past a bakery.
Yer doin' this to me, he thinks furiously, as Sakusa derails his thoughts with kisses that come more and more frequently now. Yer conditionin' me, and I can't stop it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,730
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 107
- Kudos:
- 4,244
- Bookmarks:
- 833
- Hits:
- 57,202
Bookmarked by lurdle
13 Dec 2025
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Summary
“Can I?” he asked after a beat.
Kiyoomi glanced at the hovering arm, then gave a small nod.
Atsumu smiled, wrapping an arm around Kiyoomi’s shoulders and pulling him closer. “Ya don’t feel like throwin’ up or kickin’ me in the face, do ya?”
“I’ve never kicked anyone in the face.”
“Ya’ve thought about it.”
“I’m thinking about it right now.”
Atsumu chuckled, rubbing slow circles into Kiyoomi’s shoulder.
“You don’t make me anxeous…surprisingly,” Kiyoomi muttered after a pause.
Atsumu grinned. “That supposed to be a compliment?”
“Take it however you want.”
“Oh, I’m takin’ it as a huge one.”
or
Kiyoomi Sakusa is touch-starved and Atsumu helps him with it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,446
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 41
- Kudos:
- 852
- Bookmarks:
- 206
- Hits:
- 10,994
Bookmarked by lurdle
06 Nov 2025
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Summary
Kageyama walks in on Hinata and discovers a side to himself he never knew existed. Good thing Hinata's there to explore that side with him.
Cue the shameless smut
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,103
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 11
- Kudos:
- 94
- Bookmarks:
- 7
- Hits:
- 2,447
Bookmarked by lurdle
23 Sep 2025
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Summary
It was the boots that caught Shoyo's attention. They looked new and expensive sticking up from the tall grass, visible from the small trail he was walking on. He cautiously trudged closer, almost against his will.
What Shoyo didn't notice, however, was the creature watching him; blue eyes following the oblivious human.Series
- Part 1 of Vren
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 100,706
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 369
- Kudos:
- 1,819
- Bookmarks:
- 461
- Hits:
- 37,694
Bookmarked by lurdle
21 Aug 2025
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Summary
Shouyou never thought that he and Kageyama would be the type to plan out their sex in advance.
Tonight, though, is a little different.
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OR: kageyama tops and hinata bottoms - for the first time.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,248
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 300
- Bookmarks:
- 54
- Hits:
- 3,049
Bookmarked by lurdle
09 Jul 2025
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Summary
A personal predicament leads to Hinata desperately yet cluelessly analyzing a sex shop's products, trying to find the best fit. He needs help, but will he accept it? More importantly, can he handle it?
Series
Bookmarked by lurdle
08 Jul 2025
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Summary
"I have abstained from human blood for decades," the vampire continued. His breath was warm, but his presence was ice against Hinata’s skin. He could only tremble. "But you… you’re barely human, aren’t you? So I’ll make you the exception."
Hinata barely had time to process the words before sharp, searing pain pierced his neck.
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Hinata Shoyo made the mistake of harvesting vampire venom to cure an incurable disease. Now the vampire in question wants something in return. His blood- for the rest of his life.Prequel to 'Sink Your Teeth In'
Series
- Part 2 of To Your Heart’s Content
Bookmarked by lurdle
06 Jun 2025
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Summary
Living with Tobio was, unequivocally, the best. At least, Shouyou thought so.
It certainly wasn't all puppies and roses. They bickered like any couple living together for the first time, never being able to agree on how the laundry should be folded or how the living room should be decorated. But overall, it was nice to wake up and spend his day with his favorite person. They each spent half the year abroad, which was challenging in of itself, but that only made the time they did have together all the more precious.
And they certainly made the most of it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,630
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 25
- Kudos:
- 199
- Bookmarks:
- 43
- Hits:
- 2,301
Bookmarked by lurdle
20 May 2025
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Summary
Kageyama had never paid much attention to gender politics, as they never really affected him or how he played volleyball. But when a new law threatens the safety of Hinata, how far is Kageyama willing to go to protect his partner? When politics start infiltrating his insular world of sports, what can he do to keep everyone on the court?
What happens when the lies Kageyama is telling start to become his truth?
What happens when Hinata discovers what Kageyama has done?
Complete!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 47,890
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 281
- Kudos:
- 1,022
- Bookmarks:
- 211
- Hits:
- 22,424
Bookmarked by lurdle
25 Apr 2025
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Summary
Wrote this short story based on a Pinterest photo I'll add in the notes.
Suga tells Kageyama he needs to be nicer to Hinata but Kageyama struggles to understand what 'nice' means. Silliness ensues when Kageyama realizes he doesn't know shit about his alleged best friend. But does that really matter? Kageyama doesn't seem to think so.
Bookmarked by lurdle
10 Mar 2025
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Summary
He can’t help but grin, “Hey, Hinata.”
Hinata pauses his flustered rambling, and Kageyama smiles at him, and he knows that his smile scares children and animals, but Hinata’s breathing still stutters all the same, and Kageyama can feel something in his chest clench.
“I’m still just fucking with you.”
___
Or: Loosely based on the movie Dinner In America. Kageyama is a part time drug dealer trying to get his music career off the ground. Hinata has been writing letters to his favorite artist, King T. Music brings the two together, but the universe keeps them there <3Bookmarked by lurdle
15 Feb 2025
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Summary
At some point during their second year, Kageyama and Hinata fall in love, but neither of them can pinpoint exactly when this happened or how.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,948
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 36
- Kudos:
- 476
- Bookmarks:
- 92
- Hits:
- 4,967
Bookmarked by lurdle
15 Feb 2025
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Summary
20 minutes is all they have; Kageyama and Hinata spend it together
Bookmarked by lurdle
10 Feb 2025
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washing my hair, doing the laundry (late night tv, i want you only) by closer (dreamglows) for kitsunei
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
31 Jan 2025
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Summary
"Kageyama!" a shrill, childish voice screeches from outside his window, and for a second, all Kageyama can wonder is — why the hell is Hinata outside the house and not in bed with him?
And why does his voice sound like that?
It's only when he tumbles off the bed and onto the floor of his childhood bedroom that he realizes — ah.
If that weren't enough of a confirmation as to where he is, Hinata's panicked scream upon seeing him should be enough.
Or: Kageyama wakes up, twenty years into the past.
Series
Bookmarked by lurdle
07 Feb 2025
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Summary
[...]
As he cautiously approaches one of his larger traps, he begins to hear signs of struggle, and a few whimpers of pain – whimpers of pain that sound distinctly un-animallike. Concerned, slightly, but mainly perplexed, he makes his way out of the bush, and in peering out through the leaves he pushes out of his eyes, he is struck silent.
It’s not a deer, or a hog, bound tight by ropes, it’s a person – a boy, thinks Kageyama immediately, then, a man, he appends as he creeps closer, gaze incredulous and eyebrows knit.
A man. Strung up in the tree. And last, but certainly not least.
He was completely naked.
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In which Kageyama, a lone wolf style hunter and adventurer, stumbles upon a man caught in one of his traps, who upon being released, claims to be an immortal spirit who has lost his memory.
Whether or not Kageyama believes him is moot; it seems that, at least for the time being, they're stuck together.
Series
- Part 1 of the spirit au
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 87,493
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 61
- Kudos:
- 91
- Bookmarks:
- 29
- Hits:
- 2,350
Bookmarked by lurdle
01 Feb 2025
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Summary
"You were totally letting that guy flirt with you!"
Tobio stared at Hinata incredulously, "What— Yeah! That's the whole point, isn't it?!"
"Not in front of me, you jerk!" Hinata punched him in the arm. Tobio was officially lost. And pissed.
He threw his hands up in exasperation, "This was your idea! Why'd you even suggest this stupid competition if you were gonna get pissed the second I started competing?!"
"Because I was trying to make you jealous!"
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Hinata challenges Kageyama to collect more numbers than him at the bar, unprepared for just how oblivious his long-time crush really is.
Bookmarked by lurdle
09 Jan 2025
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Summary
Kenma glanced at him from the corner of his eye before returning to his game. "You’re jealous," he stated.
"I’m not!" Shoyo shot back instantly, sitting up straight as though he’d been accused of a heinous crime. But the pink flush spreading across his cheeks betrayed him.
Kenma’s gaze flicked up briefly, unimpressed. "Yes, you are," he said flatly. "You’re jealous because the whole world is thirsting over your boyfriend. Admit it, Shoyo."
Or, five times Shoyo was jealous over the attention his boyfriend was getting, and one time he wasn’t.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,290
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 17
- Kudos:
- 761
- Bookmarks:
- 137
- Hits:
- 4,962
Bookmarked by lurdle
04 Jan 2025
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Summary
"Oh, wait!”
Before Yachi could process what he was about to do, Hinata spun around and called out, loud and clear, “Yamayama! Give Yachi a ride home!”
Yachi froze, her face draining of color. Yamayama? He just called the CEO ‘Yamayama’?!
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Yachi is the newest employee at Karasuno Inc, one of the top organizations in the industry, and she's eager to learn the ropes. But nothing could prepare her for the strange dynamic between CEO Kageyama Tobio and his ever-energetic Executive Assistant, Hinata Shoyo.Series
- Part 1 of Business Affairs
Bookmarked by lurdle
02 Dec 2024
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Summary
Sometimes, after a long day, all you need is a place to come home to.
Bookmarked by lurdle
03 Oct 2024
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Summary
It takes a while before Kageyama can finally say what Hinata always says so easily.
Or – five times Kageyama didn’t say “I love you” back and one time he did.
Bookmarked by lurdle
23 Sep 2024