1 - 20 of 22 Works by primaryinstinct
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baby, take me too by uglythings (primaryinstinct) for liveinsalt, incisorsis
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
25 Aug 2026
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Summary
Ilya has always liked it when he can reduce Shane into a whimpering, crying hypocrite. He can already hear in his head how smug Ilya would be later on; he said so himself, all that pestering Ilya about how dangerous his non-sensible sports car is, only to act like a cheap slut getting fondled in the passenger seat.
Series
- Part 14 of a collection of hollanovs
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work ghazal by uglythings (primaryinstinct) for liveinsalt, withmybodyback
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
22 Aug 2026
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Summary
Ilya’s phone password is 1221. No one but him would know that, but the phone’s password is 1221.
Series
- Part 13 of a collection of hollanovs
- Part 4 of p's hr ficlets
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you're gonna have to live it everyday by uglythings (primaryinstinct) for liveinsalt
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
20 Aug 2026
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Summary
The thing about making your bed is that eventually, you’d have to sleep in it. The thing about making wishes is that at some point, you’d have to live in it. And the thing about Ilya, well, the thing about him is that he’s always going to want an out, isn’t he?
Series
- Part 12 of a collection of hollanovs
- Part 3 of p's hr ficlets
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Summary
Shane spends all of Thursday in the state of a daydream, imagining what it would be like to finally have Ilya within the metaphorical arm's length, fully and without the restraint that he’d reserved for himself when they were much younger and he still wasn’t sure if Ilya even thought about him outside of their irregular hook-ups. Weekend dinners at his parents, date nights at his favorite restaurants in Ottawa, taking Ilya to skate at the Rideau skateway when it freezes over in the winter. Shane is so lost in his thoughts that when he sees his parents swaying in their kitchen late in the afternoon, all he could think about is him and Ilya in their image, sharing a life. And then he stubs his toe and gets an odd look from his mom for interrupting the moment.
He really has high hopes, is the thing. And Shane can always dream. He’s really good at doing that.
[Or, Shane and Ilya in brief moments between the cottage and moving to Ottawa]
Series
- Part 11 of a collection of hollanovs
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a mouse who lives in a nest by uglythings (primaryinstinct) for liveinsalt, incisorsis
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
13 Aug 2026
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Summary
In fifth grade science class Shane learned that a mouse would always return home no matter how terrifying home is, because it's home. He relays this fact to his mom the minute he steps out of school, their clasped hands swaying in between them. He remembers her laughing, and then he remembers her saying, "Of course they would, Shane. Where else could they possibly go?"
Series
- Part 10 of a collection of hollanovs
- Part 2 of p's hr ficlets
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Summary
“I do not ask for much,” Shane murmurs, standing in front of the altar, surrounded by lit candles and nothing else inside the enclosed stone. His voice is soft, but it echoes all the same. “I only want him returned, in any way you could return him to me. If he’s alive, let me hold and love him for the rest of our remaining days. If he’s at the brink of fading, let me take care of him and nurse him back to health. And if he is… if he is dead, if you have taken him, then, at least, give me a body to bury. Let all my waiting mean something, please. Please. Please—”
[Or, The Odyssey, from the one who has to wait.]
Series
- Part 9 of a collection of hollanovs
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the light of the sun is only a daydream by uglythings (primaryinstinct) for liveinsalt
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
29 Jun 2026
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Summary
Irina Rozanova’s face is hazy in his memory. At twelve, her features were a clear imprint in his mind; at twenty-nine, time has eroded most of everything.
Series
- Part 8 of a collection of hollanovs
- Part 1 of p's hr ficlets
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Summary
Briefly, he wonders what Moscow looks like now. A place that was once home but exists now only in his memories. Five years after his father’s death, Ilya is found like this: staring out into a cloudless blue sky, making things up in his head.
Series
- Part 7 of a collection of hollanovs
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Summary
[a voice message sent May 10th, 1991, received by a Panasonic answering machine]
David: Hey, Mom. The baby has been ejected.
Yuna: David, no, that’s—no. Give me that. Hey, Mrs. Holl—
David: She’s your mom too, you know—
Yuna: —just letting you know that we have a baby! Seven pounds and seven ounces, ten fingers and ten toes. His name is Shane, and he’s excited to meet you… at some point. When we get out of the hospital. We love you, we hope to see you soon, and—
David: —and bring peach cobbler when you visit!
Yuna: … and bring peach cobbler when you visit. Bye.
[Or, Shane is the best Mother's Day gift that Yuna could ever ask for. Literally. Told through a thirty-five-year-long series of letters, postcards, voice messages, and Yuna feeling so much love for her son(s) she could just burst.]
Series
- Part 6 of a collection of hollanovs
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Summary
He’s just about ready to doze off—his ritualistic pre-dinner, thirty-minute nap—when, suddenly, Ilya says, “Huh. Interesting.”
Shane cracks one eye open. “Hmm?”
“Oh, nothing, малыш,” he replies, though his brows are furrowed when he says it. Shane’s even more curious now.
“No, really, what is it?”
Ilya must lose some internal debate; a deep sigh leaves his body before, wordlessly, he turns his phone to Shane.
The bright light makes him squint, still not used to Ilya and his affinity for both using the light-mode feature and turning the brightness in his phone to a maximum. He forgoes scolding him when, after his eyes have adjusted, he reads: Metros acquires Fil-Canadian Rivera; second Asian player in franchise history after Hollander.
At first he thinks, oh, that’s my name. Shane hasn’t seen his name mentioned remotely near the words ‘Montreal Metros’ ever since he transferred to Ottawa three years ago. Then, and this is when it finally dawns on him, Shane thinks: second?
Series
- Part 5 of a collection of hollanovs
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full moon on your left temple by uglythings (primaryinstinct)
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
26 Apr 2026
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Summary
There are a great many things that Shane has no plans on telling his husband: that when he was twelve he broke a competitor’s hockey stick because he was mad his team didn’t win. That he sometimes thinks that his Mom would have liked to have another kid if Shane wasn’t much of a handful. That he had to pull over to cry in his car on the way back to his apartment that night in Montreal after seeing Ilya dance with another girl in the club.
And, that he can no longer sleep in their bed without Ilya.
Series
- Part 4 of a collection of hollanovs
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another flaw in our equation by liveinsalt, primaryinstinct
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
11 Mar 2026
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Summary
Shane had spent time—a lot of time, really—thinking about retirement. It came with the territory; on average, hockey players retired in their 30s, with a few outliers playing into their 40s. The really good ones got maybe three decades out of it all before putting the stick down and hanging the jersey up. In his mind, Shane liked to think he’d be one of them, playing till he hit forty-five, ending on some high note—the Centaurs winning their nth or so Cup, maybe—before fading, slowly, into the background.
It turned out it would all just end in a random game, with a random team, boom— all so definitively over that Shane was left falling, completely flailing, clueless about any next step.
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ilya, i wish you were born a girl by uglythings (primaryinstinct)
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
21 Feb 2026
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Summary
And then there is Ilya Rozanov after all of them, the cocky eighteen year old smoking in front of a no-smoking sign outside an arena in Saskatchewan. Ilya Rozanov, hockey player, born in Moscow, Russia to Irina Rozanova and Grigori Rozanov (though Shane wouldn’t really know this until much later). June 15, 1991. Shane was born before him so, technically, Rozanov has never known a life without Shane Hollander, which he will definitely lord over him whenever he’d get the chance to. His jersey number is 81. He’s a center like Shane. He’s the captain of the Boston Raiders. He’s a Gemini, though Shane has no idea how that affects him, if it has any bearing on his personality at all. Shane thinks there’s none because Rozanov is an asshole regardless, but all the tabloids insist that there is. He’s six foot three; only an inch taller than Shane. He’s a boy. There’s this thing that he does where he rubs his nose whenever he’s lying. It’s a pretty easy tell, and Rozanov is not a very good liar. He’s a boy, a boy, a boy.
Sometimes, he wishes Rozanov was a girl instead.
Series
- Part 3 of a collection of hollanovs
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The Jane Postscript of 2021 by uglythings (primaryinstinct)
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
14 Feb 2026
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Summary
St-Simon: roz was so close to killing himself or killing us everytime they’d break up
St-Simon: the last one was so bad
St-Simon: put us through so much SHIT
St-Simon: he probably ended up proposing when they got back together
Connors: The fact that Roz transferred before we even met Jane.
Connors: She’ll never be in the WAG GC.
Sebbin: its still reasonable to think we just made her up
Sebbin: maybe we all fucking died in 2016 and this is just a hallucination
St-Simon: man you really got hit hard in the head
[Or--after the wedding, after everything--how the Raiders, especially Cliff, eventually figured Montreal Jane out]
Series
- Part 2 of The Entire History of Montreal Jane
- Part 2 of a collection of hollanovs
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The Great Jane Debacle of 2016 by uglythings (primaryinstinct)
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
09 Feb 2026
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Summary
Pummel: Fuck Jane
St-Simon: nah…
St-Simon: i dont think shes done anything wrong…
Pummel: youre right
Pummel: Sorry Jane
Pummel: FUCK ROZANOV
Varkov: FUCK ROZANOV
Connors: Hey guys did you see this article about Rose Landry and Shane Hollander?
Carmichael: Bad timing, man.
Connors: Oh
Connors: Give me a second to read back.
Connors: Oh….
Connors: FUCK ROZANOV
[Or, how the Raiders---in particular the long suffering Cliff Marleau, dealt with the Great Jane Debacle of 2016, told in a series of texts, posts, and Cliff being the best Bostonian friend Ilya could ask for]
Series
- Part 1 of a collection of hollanovs
- Part 1 of The Entire History of Montreal Jane
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Summary
And maybe New York isn’t any better than Hawkins. Maybe he’ll always be sad, or whatever the fuck. Maybe dreams are just dreams and maybe he’ll never see Eddie again or talk about him, but also he could be doing something here. Something remarkable or unremarkable, but something all the same. Maybe he’ll call his mother and convince her to finally visit. Maybe he’ll start to go out more. Quit his job. Start all over again. A new life for real this time. The possibilities are endless. He has Robin by his side and about seven kids-who-aren't-kids-anymore waiting to argue with him tomorrow morning.
--Steve, Robin, Nancy, and Eddie take on life after Hawkins, drifting apart and coming together again at the end of it all.
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if the clouds are gathering, it's just to point the way by primaryinstinct
Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
01 Nov 2022
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Summary
When the first gunshot rings through, Steve almost thinks he’s actually died.
The bats start dropping like flies for every gunshot that he hears, up until there’s only a couple left hovering over him. He suddenly remembers the small knife he had stashed in one of his pockets, and now that he’s free Steve rifles through his pockets for it and immediately stabs upon the one that’s flying dangerously close to his face. The knife squelches as it sinks deep into the bat’s flesh, and it squeals as it stops flying and lands beside him in a dead heap.
Steve turns to his savior and smiles when he sees the familiar glare.
“I fucking told you to bring someone here with you,” Robin says as she walks forward.
--Months after Vecna's apparent win, Steve's part of the mission goes sideways. Robin comes to his aid. A walk in the woods.
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Summary
“You’re getting lost in your head again,” Robin whispers, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Tell me what you’re thinking about?”
Steve hums. “I was thinking... we could run away, you know? I think about it, sometimes.”
She just laughs, like he’s not suggesting something outrageous. She laughs, and he knows this laughter. This is the laugh that tells him she knows he’s being serious. This is the laughter that agrees. She’s hearing him out.
“And go where?” She asks, smiling softly at him. He lifts his hand, tracing a path from the freckles on her chin to the ones right behind her ear.
“California. Oregon. I don’t know. New York? Just... as far away as we could from this place. From this stupid town.”
“And what would we do?”
Steve leans his head on the back of the couch, hand still on Robin’s face. She mirrors him, and they keep staring at each other.
--Steve and Robin, thirty-one years apart. Life, the end of the world, weddings. A dream to complete.
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the end is here (and we do it a hundred times over) by primaryinstinct
Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
07 Oct 2022
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Summary
Steve jolts awake, staring up into the dull beige of the camper’s ceiling. There’s a distinct brown stain, likely from a leak. The cushion of the back seat is hard against his back, and if he strains he could hear yelling and laughing from the outside.
He wonders if he’s finally lost his fucking mind.
--or, Steve relives the day of the end over and over again.
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Summary
Steve is not thinking entirely when he tells them about it. Bag packed in the car and a tank full of gas and all.
In hindsight, he also hadn’t been thinking while he was shoving clothes in the said bag, forcing in everything he could fit until it was full and zipping it shut was more a chore than a simple action. In the space of time between his father’s phone call and the subsequent breakdown he had while driving to the gas station to pump his car, the only thing he had thought about in the entirety of it was that he needed Eddie and Robin with him.
--Steve, Robin, and Eddie on the road. A story of grief, mothers, and finding a family of your own.