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A Great Deal of Polishing and Care by small_small_slime
Fandom: Date Everything! (Sassy Chap Games Video Game)
05 Nov 2025
Summary
Scandalabra wants you to kiss him with tongue and you're fully committed to doing just that, but not without cleaning him first. Two fics depicting the same events from different perspectives.
- Words:
- 8,304
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 3
Bookmarked by splendens
11 Jan 2026
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"I Just wanted to be special, y'know?" by bootshivers
Fandoms: Date Everything! (Sassy Chap Games Video Game)
04 Oct 2025
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Summary
Jonathan Wick, at one point in his life, didn't pay much mind for people's dirty little secrets.
He'd always liked listening to people, and learning about them, a bit too shy to talk to them himself. A gap tooth and a beauty mark made him a little self-conscious, as if he could hear a phantom lisp in his every word. But he'd never been ravenous for gossip or scandals, particularly, until it became a matter of necessity.
It started the day that Cera fell.
Bookmarked by splendens
20 Dec 2025
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haunting out by the reeds by Raayide for stolenglow
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
12 Nov 2025
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Summary
Undead cannot become mindflayers. A living mind is required to be a host, and vampire spawns don't have one.
There's something growing inside Astarion's skull.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,242
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 42
- Bookmarks:
- 10
- Hits:
- 386
Bookmarked by splendens
14 Nov 2025
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Summary
There was a dead man on the midden heap; if not dead yet, soon.
It wasn’t hard to guess how he’d ended up there - the man looked the part of a devil. Such was the fate of monsters in the hands of civilization.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,798
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 36
- Kudos:
- 151
- Bookmarks:
- 25
- Hits:
- 603
Bookmarked by splendens
10 Nov 2025
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Summary
Three commands has Astarion broken, and now the fourth with a rapier through his gut and crossbow to his skull. Centuries he's wanted to be free—well, here it is. Dirt under his nails and blood behind his fangs. He's free. Isn't he fucking satisfied?
Astarion has not been a person in two hundred years. His journey to become one does not start off well.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 193,004
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 580
- Kudos:
- 617
- Bookmarks:
- 170
- Hits:
- 15,040
Bookmarked by splendens
24 Oct 2025
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Summary
Faded memories, foggy faces, blank mirrors, and pick pocketing a strange mushroom that merchant said could cure anything.
“Karlach, what’s going on here?”
“He’s tripping balls, mate.”
Astarion consumes a Noblestalk.
Bookmarked by splendens
09 Oct 2025
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Lips to Metal! by small_small_slime
Fandoms: Date Everything! (Sassy Chap Games Video Game)
23 Sep 2025
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Summary
A candelabra, in the modern age, is a decorative object. Often not even one that stands out very much, but rather one which helps set a scene and is otherwise forgotten. After it's been there long enough, you don't even really see it anymore. If it's lucky, maybe it will get the dust brushed off of it once in a while, or at least when company is expected.
Scandalabra asks you for a kiss. Again. This time, you intend to leave no room for him to feel unloved.
Series
- Part 1 of A Great Deal of Polishing and Care
Bookmarked by splendens
05 Oct 2025
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Tags
Summary
(Please mind the tags)
It's been almost a year since you got rid of the dateviators and released your furniture into the real world. You started a new life in the city with new friends and a fun coworker who invites you to go clubbing one night, but you come across some old faces in the new bar. There's Dorian, the ever dramatic Scandalabra, and your favorite breaker box duo, Eddie and Volt. Good thing they were there too, since not all faces in the club are friendly with good intentions...
(basically just wanted to write something where the realized scandalabra has both his versions in the real world bahaha)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,879
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 15
- Kudos:
- 283
- Bookmarks:
- 32
- Hits:
- 2,377
Bookmarked by splendens
18 Sep 2025
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- Words:
- 24,555
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 8
Bookmarked by splendens
15 Sep 2025
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Summary
Astarion knows what he is: a used-up, dried-out, bitter-tongued spawn with hair like starlight, so beautiful that somehow men manage to overlook the rest of his flaws to their deaths. He knows that Wyll says he loves him. He knows that Wyll loves his hair.
And he knows that if he cuts it off, the truth will come out.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,987
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 48
- Kudos:
- 242
- Bookmarks:
- 41
- Hits:
- 1,202
Bookmarked by splendens
14 Sep 2025
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Best methods to decorating your candelabra by Acidwashed_Telephone
Fandom: Date Everything! (Sassy Chap Games Video Game)
11 Aug 2025
- Words:
- 15,571
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 13
Bookmarked by splendens
11 Aug 2025
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To tie a bow by Acidwashed_Telephone
Fandoms: Date Everything! (Sassy Chap Games Video Game)
04 Aug 2025
Tags
Summary
As a gift, you tie a bow around your favourite candelabra and bring it up into your bedroom. As it turns out, that gave him a new outfit! And he, being a gentleman, wants to repay the favour with a little bit more than a few kisses.
Series
Bookmarked by splendens
05 Aug 2025
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- Words:
- 27,936
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 42
Bookmarked by splendens
14 Jul 2025
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from the heat and the hurt by iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
14 Feb 2025
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Summary
Two nights after the Netherbrain collapses into the ocean, Astarion stands over a precipice. The bottom is quite far, too far to even see it through the damp mist, but he can just barely make out a faint bluish purple glow down there, bioluminescence reflecting off the cave walls. There are handholds in the cliff face, roots he can scale down. It won’t be a terribly difficult journey, really.
Hells, he’s done it before.
He stands there, looking down at that precipice, for nearly an hour before he turns on his heel and leaves.
(Or: Astarion, before saving the world, and after.)
Bookmarked by splendens
30 Jun 2025
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Summary
In which Astarion conceals a number of serious injuries until well into the Shadowcursed lands, at which point he chooses to make all of them Wyll's problem.
Or: Astarion is shroomed thrice (but the third time is a lie.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,460
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 82
- Kudos:
- 471
- Bookmarks:
- 149
- Hits:
- 3,148
Bookmarked by splendens
23 May 2025
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Summary
“Deep down, you like being leashed, don’t you?” The hag’s voice was almost in his ear. Astarion whirled around. An Auntie Ethel – the real one? – stood on the ledge just behind him, yellow fangs bared in a vicious grin. “Listen to your betters, boy!”
And just like that, Astarion's newfound freedom disappeared.
Bookmarked by splendens
10 May 2025
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Summary
Wyll’s leaned up against the farm fence in the distance, watching Astarion flutter and flirt. His mouth is a thin line.
“We’ll give lust a try,” Dorothea says blandly. “Let’s see what you do with it.”
(Or: Astarion seduces the Dark Urge. Wyll watches with increasing concern.)
Bookmarked by splendens
06 May 2025
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Summary
Astarion is an abomination, a living construct brought into undeath, designed specifically by Cazador for the glorious purpose of being basically a sentient sexbot. In two hundred years, he has not once met another living construct before.
But you meet all sorts of interesting people when infected with mindflayer parasites.
Bookmarked by splendens
01 May 2025
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the virtues of complaining by ushauz for jellyfishline
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
29 Apr 2025
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Summary
Complaint was good. Complaint was healthy. Complaint was what kept one clinging to their self by their fingernails, or else you’d end up like Aurelia, just this silent passive servile shadow to Cazador at all times.
In which Astarion becomes convinced that Wyll needs Astarion to teach him how to complain, and he might not entirely be wrong about that.
Bookmarked by splendens
01 May 2025
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you miss 100% of the hot statues you don't kiss by not_whelmed_yet for Winifred0817
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
04 Apr 2025
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Summary
In the early hours of the morning, with the greys of night swelling into blues and pink and golden dawn, a vampire climbed through one of the broken windows to hide at Wyll’s feet.
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Wyll is a statue. Astarion is a vampire seeking a place to hide from the sun...and maybe something more.
Bookmarked by splendens
26 Apr 2025