thecitrusvamp
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For some mysterious, magical reason, Guillermo has been turned into a spider. The members of the Staten Island household deal with it the way they deal with most things.
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What We Do In The Shadows Season 7 by thecitrusvamp
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
10 Aug 2025
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Do you miss WWDITS? So do I! Could you believe it was over? Neither could I! So here we are - welcome to season 7, where we follow our beloved vampires one last time through their silly, ridiculous lives while their beloved human buddy endures an (major? minor?) existential crisis. Episodes "air" every other Thursday at 9 PM EST (and if there's ever "production issues", I'll announce delays on twitter!)
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“He’s still not dressed," Nadja says, annoyed. "Says he cannot decide.”
“It’s between sand and dust,” Colin says, looking at Laszlo and gesturing to the sweaters. “Sand compliments my skin, but I think dust really makes my eyes pop.”
“They’re beige,” Nadja’s doll pipes up. “The decision is between bloody beige and beige.”
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The house gets ready for their portrait.Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
22 Sep 2025
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hockey au but they're still vampires
Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
20 Sep 2025
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" Guillermo met his eyes across the courtyard, and for a moment the human was grave and resolute as a warrior in battle, resigned to his fate yet defiant to its circumstances. For a moment Nandor imagined this meeting as the start of a war rather than a courtship, and for that moment he felt as if he'd found his footing again.
But then the human had done something outrageous.
Then the human had smiled. "
In the end, when all was said and done, the marriage of Nandor the Relentless and Guillermo de la Cruz would be remembered as a pivotal and defining moment in the history of human and vampiric society alike.
In the beginning, however, it was mostly just a mess.
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Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
24 Aug 2025
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Laszlo: 🧙♂️
Laszlo: Look Nadja, they even have me in my favorite hat.
Nadja: 🙄
Nandor the Relentless: guillermo look
Guillermo: What am I looking at
Nandor the Relentless: jahan
Nandor the Relentless: 🐴
Guillermo: 🥹
Nandor the Relentless: me andd jahan
Nandor the Relentless: 🧛♂️🐴
Guillermo: 🥹🥹
Nadja: Get a ducking room.
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Nadja has recently acquired a smartphone, on which she has been communicating with Guillermo. Laszlo finds out, and he wants in. He unwittingly opens the door to an unhinged housemate group chat.
Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
13 Aug 2025
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trouble in the city by orphan_account for retributionsong
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
11 Jun 2022
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“Come on,” Nandor says, “Let’s go.”
Guillermo finally turns around to face him, sniveling. “What?”
Nandor bares his teeth, looking irritated. “I said, let’s go. Come on. I will fly you home after.”
Guillermo looks at him properly, then - tall, broad, pale skin catching the artificial light of the washroom. He’s cruel and unkind and emotionally illiterate, Guillermo knows. He has conquered kingdoms and ruled countries - yet here he stands, with a drunk human in a bar toilet, asking him to come along for the ride.
“Okay,” Guillermo whispers, voice cracking, because he’s never been good at self preservation.
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Eight months after he leaves, Guillermo finds Nandor in a bar. They don't talk, and then they do.
Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
14 Jul 2025