11 Bookmarks by thecitrusvamp
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“He’s still not dressed," Nadja says, annoyed. "Says he cannot decide.”
“It’s between sand and dust,” Colin says, looking at Laszlo and gesturing to the sweaters. “Sand compliments my skin, but I think dust really makes my eyes pop.”
“They’re beige,” Nadja’s doll pipes up. “The decision is between bloody beige and beige.”
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The house gets ready for their portrait.Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
22 Sep 2025
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hockey au but they're still vampires
Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
20 Sep 2025
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" Guillermo met his eyes across the courtyard, and for a moment the human was grave and resolute as a warrior in battle, resigned to his fate yet defiant to its circumstances. For a moment Nandor imagined this meeting as the start of a war rather than a courtship, and for that moment he felt as if he'd found his footing again.
But then the human had done something outrageous.
Then the human had smiled. "
In the end, when all was said and done, the marriage of Nandor the Relentless and Guillermo de la Cruz would be remembered as a pivotal and defining moment in the history of human and vampiric society alike.
In the beginning, however, it was mostly just a mess.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 160,712
- Chapters:
- 81/?
- Comments:
- 3,496
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- 3,486
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Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
24 Aug 2025
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Laszlo: 🧙♂️
Laszlo: Look Nadja, they even have me in my favorite hat.
Nadja: 🙄
Nandor the Relentless: guillermo look
Guillermo: What am I looking at
Nandor the Relentless: jahan
Nandor the Relentless: 🐴
Guillermo: 🥹
Nandor the Relentless: me andd jahan
Nandor the Relentless: 🧛♂️🐴
Guillermo: 🥹🥹
Nadja: Get a ducking room.
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Nadja has recently acquired a smartphone, on which she has been communicating with Guillermo. Laszlo finds out, and he wants in. He unwittingly opens the door to an unhinged housemate group chat.
Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
13 Aug 2025
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trouble in the city by orphan_account for retributionsong
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
11 Jun 2022
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“Come on,” Nandor says, “Let’s go.”
Guillermo finally turns around to face him, sniveling. “What?”
Nandor bares his teeth, looking irritated. “I said, let’s go. Come on. I will fly you home after.”
Guillermo looks at him properly, then - tall, broad, pale skin catching the artificial light of the washroom. He’s cruel and unkind and emotionally illiterate, Guillermo knows. He has conquered kingdoms and ruled countries - yet here he stands, with a drunk human in a bar toilet, asking him to come along for the ride.
“Okay,” Guillermo whispers, voice cracking, because he’s never been good at self preservation.
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Eight months after he leaves, Guillermo finds Nandor in a bar. They don't talk, and then they do.
Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
14 Jul 2025
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no me queda más (there's nothing left for me) by andiforyou
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
29 Jul 2022
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Guillermo swallowed his words, and new ones that he did not know how to push down bubbled up: "What if I'm not sure if I can do this?" Nandor didn't understand the heaviness of his tone or the odd way he phrased it.
"You always do."
Guillermo's tongue slips at a very inappropriate time. Nandor definitely isn't avoiding the love of his life. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder.
Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
14 Jul 2025
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“It’s not even 11pm.” Guillermo crosses his arms. “I’m going to McDonald’s.”
Nandor raises an eyebrow. “To eat?”
“No, to do pilates,” Guillermo snarks. “Yes, to eat. You know, that silly thing humans have to do. Which I am, by the way. Still human! In case you had forgotten.”“Stop with this,” Nandor grumbles. And then, “Okay. I will come with you to the McDonald’s. I will get my going-out cloak.”
Guillermo stares at Nandor, who is already turning to walk away. He stammers, “But… why?”
Nandor whirls back around dramatically. “You are the one who wanted to ‘hang out’,” he snaps. “So stop with this questioning.” And then he’s off, stomping up the stairs in an unwarranted hurry.
Or: Guillermo and Nandor try to navigate their "friendship" now that Guillermo is a cool vampire murderer. It's super.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,343
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 108
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- 2,531
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- 510
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Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
12 Jul 2025
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Sometimes, Guillermo imagines what he would tell his nineteen year old self, the boy barely out of adolescence who harbored a love for vampires that bordered on reverence. On good days, he likes to think he’d give out decent advice. This is how you remove dried blood stains from clothing. This is where you’ll find the best coupons for tarp, duct tape, rope. This is the part of the backyard with the softest ground, the easiest place to bury bodies during the winter. This house, underneath its floorboards, is where you’ll bury your heart. This is how you’ll learn to live as a monster without fangs.
On bad days, he thinks he wouldn’t give his younger self any advice at all. He would have met his own starry-eyed gaze with a sad, knowing smile and given him a stake.
A character study in three parts: entrances, exits, and heartbeats.
Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
30 May 2025
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i've been here so long (i think that it's time to move) by UnfortunatelyObsessed for nerdykai128
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
08 Jun 2022
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Nandor is leaning against the curtained doorway, bumping his head back against the jamb over and over again as he listens to Guillermo just bitch.
“Memo, why have you not gotten a wife yet?” Guillermo imitates. “Memo, you should try the same diet Alexia is on. Memo, I saw Jeremiah in the supermercado yesterday, you two used to be such good friends—”
“Yeesh, alright, I get it,” Nandor finally snaps out, holding his hands over his ears. “You can stop with the voices now. It sounds insufferable.”
“It is insufferable!” Guillermo shoves another sweater into his overnight bag. “But Victor had to go and get engaged and plan the wedding for the same fucking weekend so here I am! Guilt-tripped into helping for a cousin I don’t even really know!”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,124
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 237
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- 1,169
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- 350
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- 11,363
Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
29 May 2025
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Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow Too by cookinguptales
Fandom: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
03 Feb 2023
- Words:
- 55,336
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 34
Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
29 May 2025
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“Do you know some people say you are as John the Baptist to him? Make straight the way of the Lord.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,769
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
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- 221
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- 2,461
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- 468
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- 18,399
Bookmarked by thecitrusvamp
24 May 2025