1 - 20 of 44 Bookmarks by useless_assassin
Navigation
List of Bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
She’s been calling him Lestat now, instead of ‘papa’ or ‘pops’ or the more severe ‘father’ she used to break out when she was being dramatic. Like she can distance herself from him, like she didn’t use to follow Lestat around like a shadow, imitating his every move while Lestat pretended not to notice, making increasingly dramatic gestures until Claudia was spinning around, laughing so hard she was doubled over. That feels like forever ago now, an entire decade between that family and this one.
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
11 Sep 2026
-
Tags
Summary
But that's a story for another day because the story you are supposed be reading about now is how The Vampire Lestat, current touring rockstar, lost his virginity to Louis thirteen years ago.
(Louis, Lestat and short stories of their summer in Auvergne and perhaps some from their winter in New York.)
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
20 Aug 2026
-
The Vampire Detective Agency and the Case of the Missing Fledglings by Angstosaur
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022), Vampire Chronicles Series - Anne Rice
09 Aug 2026
Tags
Summary
NOW COMPLETE!!
It's 2018 and fledgling vampires are going missing - in the States and across Europe. Mysterious cases are being referred to The Vampire Detective Agency, ran by Lestat and Louis in New Orleans. They decide to investigate, heading to Europe and beyond in their pursuit of the truth. The deeper they delve into the mystery the greater the danger becomes. Luckily they have each other's backs ... and every other part of each other's anatomy whenever they have the chance!
Although part of a series, can be read without having read the first story.
Note: rated explicit for some sexually explicit scenes in some chapters. This is much more of a plotfest than a smutfest.
Series
- Part 2 of The Vampire Detective Agency
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
09 Aug 2026
-
Tags
Summary
"Well, Louis." Lestat drapes himself on the sofa. "Style me."
"From what I've seen, you appear to enjoy being half-naked at all times," Louis says.
"Why do you say that?"
"The numerous shirtless pictures I've seen of you," Louis says, and then immediately feels the heat rise to his face.
Lestat hums, pleased. "You look at shirtless pictures of me a lot, Louis?"
"I didn't mean—not in my free time, it's—I was studying your style. For work."
Fashion school dropout and designer-turned-stylist Louis du Lac takes a job with rising rock legend The Vampire Lestat. He immediately feels himself drawn to him—and ever more deeply into his world.
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
09 Aug 2026
-
I Hate You But I Love You More by WillOftheWolf
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022), Vampire Chronicles Series - Anne Rice
26 Mar 2024
Tags
Summary
Louis's life is going well. He's teaching HS English like he always wanted and in a serious relationship. His life has finally come together and he's satisfied.
Until his ex Lestat comes back into his life in an unexpected way. In hopes he can 'tame' the increasingly self-destructive Lestat, they spiral into the chaotic relationship they ended years ago, and wonder if they can do better the second time.
Meanwhile, with Armand obsessively watching over Lestat for over a decade, Daniel doesn't know if he can continue being in second place.Series
- Part 3 of IWTV fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 337,647
- Chapters:
- 94/94
- Comments:
- 1,692
- Kudos:
- 1,020
- Bookmarks:
- 280
- Hits:
- 64,413
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
09 Aug 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Draco Malfoy stared blankly at the folder Robards was holding out to him. His eyes caught on the words stamped across the top: Judicial Assigned — Hermione Granger.
Fuck.
Every bloody Auror in the DMLE knew that getting Granger assigned to their cases meant one thing—your life was about to get ten times harder. She was relentless. Nitpicking. Righteous. She wanted every last detail cross-examined from both sides. She was rigid, uptight, and exhausting to work with. But she also had a ninety-seven percent conviction rate, and this case was Draco’s biggest yet.
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
21 Jun 2026
-
How to Become a Sugar Daddy in 10 Days by magicalsydney (squidishere)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
05 Jan 2026
Tags
Summary
A charity Quidditch match leaves Hermione Granger in need of a sponsor. Draco Malfoy is ready and eager to take on the role after a bit of convincing from his best mate, Theo Nott.
Or
The One Where a mischievous Theo convinces Draco the roles of a Sugar Daddy and a sponsor are practically synonymous. To Hermione's (initial) horror, Draco Malfoy takes his role as her "sponsor" a little too seriously.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,882
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 554
- Kudos:
- 1,625
- Bookmarks:
- 483
- Hits:
- 53,290
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
21 Jun 2026
-
For the Books: An Unlikely Holiday Romance by joonswhistle
Fandoms: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
24 Jan 2021
Tags
Summary
Kim Namjoon begrudgingly agrees to be part of the local library's annual holiday date auction.
You are duped into buying a ticket to the library's annual holiday date auction by your best friend.
Both you and Namjoon are dreading the actual event.
Neither of you expects what happens next.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,925
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 307
- Kudos:
- 1,079
- Bookmarks:
- 214
- Hits:
- 21,233
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
06 Apr 2026
-
Tags
Summary
An aspiring art collector hires you to acquire pieces on his behalf. The catch is, he wants to remain anonymous. You’ve never taken on an anonymous client before, but he promises a higher commission than normal – and you can’t help but be extremely intrigued. Now to puzzle out who he is…
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 80,642
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 495
- Kudos:
- 1,437
- Bookmarks:
- 332
- Hits:
- 35,638
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
06 Apr 2026
-
say my name, say it again by ineedyoursway
Fandoms: House of the Dragon (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
10 Jun 2024
Tags
Summary
Rhaenyra dyes her hair. She changes her name. She speaks to no one of her past, of who she once was, of who she truly is. Because if there is one thing her mother taught her before she died, it’s that the most dangerous thing to be in this city is a Targaryen.
Modern AU.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 64,108
- Chapters:
- 9/10
- Comments:
- 557
- Kudos:
- 1,663
- Bookmarks:
- 479
- Hits:
- 50,450
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
09 Mar 2026
-
Tags
Summary
After a disastrous Fourth of July shift, Robby does not go on the sabbatical he never planned, but the roof of a building.
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
20 Feb 2026
-
And This Is Why I Should’ve Burned the Scripts by Silly Works (Diya_K___Legostar27)
Fandoms: The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller, The Iliad - Homer, Troy (2004), Hades (Supergiant Games Video Games), Paris - English & Mackay, Paris the Musical - Fandom, EPIC - Jorge Rivera-Herrans (Albums)
11 Jul 2026
Tags
Summary
Achilles and Patroclus wake up trapped in white void with one sofa, one TV, and one disembodied voice informing them that they're about to watch modern portrayals of themselves.
Achilles is outraged. Patroclus is trying to stay calm. All the tea was left in Elysium.
And we are on the ride to mayhem with them!
From Troy (2004) to The Song of Achilles to every fanfic that ever existed (plus a little revisit to the past), nothing is safe here.
Or Achilles and Patroclus reacting to themselves in media (poorly)
Or a very very very crack fic
Series
- Part 1 of Of Myth and Memes
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
23 Nov 2025
-
Tags
Summary
10 years after the War, and deep in the Department of Mysteries, something is stirring. The Wizengamot, predictably, decides to make it Everybody's Business.
----
A realistic take on marriage law featuring dramatic existentialism, judgmental jewelry and a society that just won't forget that one time where the upper class got a bit murder-y.
This started as a loose tribute to the film Moonstruck and got increasingly out of hand.
Dramione focus with ensemble cast. Multi-POV- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 136,550
- Chapters:
- 21/?
- Comments:
- 674
- Kudos:
- 724
- Bookmarks:
- 501
- Hits:
- 45,809
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
03 Nov 2025
-
Tags
Summary
To truly know someone is to differentiate between who they once were, who they are now, and who they're capable of being. Hermione realises the duality of one man as she rectifies what she knows of the past and begins to understand the pieces of who Draco Malfoy is now: a father, a son, and a man.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 588,656
- Chapters:
- 42/42
- Comments:
- 9,457
- Kudos:
- 40,459
- Bookmarks:
- 17,819
- Hits:
- 4,475,967
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
20 Oct 2025
-
Tags
Summary
Louis is happy with his life. Sure, there are a few kinks, but he's married to a man he cares about and has a career he loves.
Then Lestat comes back into his life and brings a whole lot with him. MODERN AU.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 56,262
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 790
- Kudos:
- 2,556
- Bookmarks:
- 662
- Hits:
- 67,405
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
06 Oct 2025
-
Tags
Summary
Louis de Pointe du Lac's hard-won independence is at risk. He's out of a job, out of money, and out of time. When he is offered a position in rockstar Lestat de Lioncourt's household as his daughter's live-in teacher and nanny, he's grateful. He can't know he is totally unprepared.
Series
- Part 1 of cord of communion
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 145,053
- Chapters:
- 50/50
- Comments:
- 3,249
- Kudos:
- 5,284
- Bookmarks:
- 1,453
- Hits:
- 173,126
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
06 Oct 2025
-
Tags
Summary
Whatever carefully blank expression Lestat is trying on disappears like a slap. “Armand made a fledgling. Why would he do that?” Lestat asks.
“Oh, you know,” Louis says, watching the three dots of a new text pop up. “He knew Daniel was… important to me.”
He means to say it with rueful annoyance, as if to say, “so he ruined him.” But as Daniel’s text comes in—the most important question I should have asked you in that fucking interview: where do you buy coke in Dubai?—Louis’s voice trails off, his words maybe lacking some of the bite.
or
Lestat misunderstands what Daniel is to Louis and tries to be a champ about it. Meanwhile Louis rediscovers his drug of choice—Lestat.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,759
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 626
- Kudos:
- 7,414
- Bookmarks:
- 1,743
- Hits:
- 97,183
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
06 Oct 2025
-
The Plans We Made by Showmeyourfangs (Wilsonsbabe)
Fandoms: Interview with the Vampire (TV 2022), Vampire Chronicles — All Media Types
27 Jun 2024
Tags
Summary
Louis and Lestat try to move forward after the Mardi Gras ball ends in disaster.
Or: What if Claudia's plan to kill Lestat had failed.
Series
- Part 1 of Plans
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 112,088
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Comments:
- 481
- Kudos:
- 1,588
- Bookmarks:
- 383
- Hits:
- 62,178
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
06 Oct 2025
-
Immaculate Misconception by malfoyesque for ThornedHuntress
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Apr 2026
Tags
Summary
Hermione’s husband wants an heir, but he can’t get her pregnant.
Draco Malfoy's blood curse has him desperate to get someone pregnant, but doesn’t want a legitimate heir.
It’s a match made in heaven, and nothing at all is going to go wrong.
Nothing.
At.
All.—————————————————————
Malfoy let his head fall back, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath from the ceiling.
“You are a woman of child-bearing age. You are looking to become pregnant. And you have told me that your husband has failed to make that happen. It is being triggered right now and it’s being triggered by you.”
His eyes flicked quickly over her body, before stopping himself.
“And from the moment you stepped foot in my house, I have been so fucking hard I can’t feel my toes.”Series
- Part 1 of Immaculate Misconception Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 149,415
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 6,249
- Kudos:
- 8,278
- Bookmarks:
- 3,525
- Hits:
- 388,096
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
25 Sep 2025
-
Tags
Summary
"On a scale of one to ten, how comfortable would you say you are with me physically?" she asked.
"Zero."
Hermione's lips pursed in annoyance because she really should have seen that coming. How charming that the extent of his arseholery could still surprise her.In which Hermione is determined to find a loophole to free her from a forced marriage with Draco Malfoy. But with only two weeks until they are legally required to consummate, it would be irresponsible not to prepare for every contingency.
Series
- Part 1 of Ten out of Ten and Counting
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 61,559
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 50
- Comments:
- 2,432
- Kudos:
- 25,379
- Bookmarks:
- 9,034
- Hits:
- 912,013
Bookmarked by useless_assassin
01 Sep 2025