Chapter Text
“MacCready is stuck in hand to hand combat against the Super Mutant,” Anna said. “Since he's a sniper and not melee trained, you may roll to assist him, Danse.”
Piper and Cait's characters were stuck in the dungeon while Mac and Danse tried to rescue them, and it wasn't going so well since they'd already fucked up and lost their healer. Deacon kept rolling for his character to “bide his time,” much to the increasing ire of everyone except Anna, who allowed it as the Dungeon Master.
Danse picked up the twenty-sided die. “I roll to punch the Super Mutant.”
Deacon rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses at the originality, but they widened when the die fell on a one. MacCready let his head thunk down to the table, certain his character was going to die now.
“You miss the Super Mutant and punch Mac in the chest so hard that his heart stops,” Anna said.
Mac groaned while Danse turned red. Piper and Cait laughed, the latter of the two swiping the die for her turn.
Anna looked at her next. “Cait, you're still locked in the dungeon with Piper.”
“I roll to dig an escape tunnel by punching the wall!” Cait said with a grin and tossed the die, rolling an eleven.
“You crack the stone with your first punch,” Anna told her. “A few more should break through, but the noise might attract the attention of the guards. Piper, your turn.”
“I roll to distract the guards from the noise by telling them all the latest gossip,” Piper said.
Anna watched her roll. “Thirteen. You sufficiently distract the guards from Cait's noise by telling them Mayor McDonough has radroaches in his vagina.”
Deacon and Cait shared a loud laugh, and Piper grabbed a napkin to write that down. Never knew when she'd need to bust out a good smear campaign. Danse's blush grew, and Mac let out another whining groan.
“Is that safe?” Curie asked. “How did the radroaches get in there?”
“My turn,” Deacon cut in, quickly changing the subject away from that conversation for Anna's sake. “I roll to bide my time.”
He got an eight, and everyone turned to Anna to see what would happen.
“You successfully bide your time, but your teammates are growing very impatient,” she warned him.
Deacon gave her a cocky grin. “Got it, boss.”
“This is blatant favoritism,” Piper accused.
“Yeah, where the heck is his character anyway?” Mac asked.
Anna looked at Deacon. “Where is your character?”
Deacon grinned back at her, leaned back in his chair, and mimed shooting finger guns. Anna considered him for a moment before nodding.
“As his character is a level thirty-eight rogue, I'll accept that answer,” she said.
All of the companions scoffed and complained except Curie, who eagerly reached for the die.
“Is it my turn again? I roll to heal MacCready,” she said.
“Sorry Curie, but you're still dead,” Anna replied gently. Curie gave her sad eyes until the Sole gave in with a small concession. “But Danse can roll to resuscitate Mac if he wants to.”
Danse nodded. “Yes, I roll to do that.”
“Wait, can't I roll for something?” MacCready asked.
Anna shook her head. “Your heart is stopped. Since Danse is a soldier, I allow that he knows CPR, but that's your only hope.”
Danse rolled the die and they all watched as it landed on yet another one. Mac started chewing on his thumbnail in apprehension.
“You attempt mouth to mouth,” Anna began. “But instead you end up accidentally sucking his dick.”
Mac slumped so far down in his chair that only his eyes were visible over the table as Deacon laughed so hard his chair almost tipped over.
“Yeah!” Cait whooped. “Now that's what I like to see!”
“Oh my god,” Piper gasped through her laughter. “You can't 'no homo' your way outta this.”
Mac tipped his cap down to cover his eyes, and Danse stared straight ahead at the wall, his face bright red.
“I'm so sorry,” he said in a clipped tone.
“Cait, it's your turn,” Anna said.
Cait snagged the die again. “I roll to continue making an escape tunnel by punching the wall.”
The die landed on fourteen and Anna said, “Your punch breaks through the wall, revealing soft dirt behind it. Piper?”
“Same as last time,” she said, then rolled a sixteen.
Anna's composure broke into a small smirk. “The guards don't notice Cait punching through the wall as they all share a good laugh upon finding out Arthur Maxson farts when he comes.”
Piper lit up. “Oh, that's brilliant!”
“I roll to bide my time,” Deacon said.
The die landed on twelve, and he got to “bide his time” one more turn. Then it was back to Danse again, but Curie spoke up before he could roll.
“Anna, is there anything Danse can do for Robert?” she asked, eyes wide and pleading.
Mac immediately turned to give Anna puppy eyes too, and between the two of them, she sighed and relented.
“Danse, you may roll for divine intervention,” she said with another heavy sigh.
Danse closed his eyes and breathed in deep, then let the die roll. It bounced, spun, and then landed on twenty. The whole room was quiet as they all stared. Danse cracked open an eye to peek, then let out a surprisingly theatrical gasp when he saw.
“Anna?” he asked.
The Sole stared hard at the die for a moment before she answered. “You suck his dick so skillfully, the angels begin to sing and Mac nuts hard enough that his heart restarts. Congratulations.”
This time Deacon did fall out of his chair laughing.