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  1. *

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    Summary

    Chris and Peter walk into a diner in the middle of an argument and, to both their surprise, the cute barista decides to just join their argument. Peter is happy to finally have someone eager to argue with him and Chris is happy someone else is arguing with his husband.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,903
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    149
    Kudos:
    2,365
    Bookmarks:
    359
    Hits:
    11,941
  2. *

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    “We pinky-swore that if he ever got magically roofied I have his power of attorney. I’m contractually obligated to get him laid.”

     

    Or

    Stiles is the smart one, and he’s not leaving anything up to chance. He’s quite happy with this plan actually.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,216
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    242
    Kudos:
    3,478
    Bookmarks:
    551
    Hits:
    23,978
  3. *

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    Honestly, Foggy’s just kind of grateful that the unconscious dude in the alley by his apartment isn’t beat up as bad as Matt was when he found him that first time.

    He also kind of thinks it says a lot about his life right now that those are his feelings on the subject, but it’s best not to analyze that.

    Where Foggy accidentally becomes bros with the Avengers, Foggy and Matt talk it out, and the Avengers and Matt don't seem to grasp the concept that the "s" in "friends" is there for a reason.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,358
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    270
    Kudos:
    11,452
    Bookmarks:
    1,544
    Hits:
    120,809
  4. *

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    Everything A Decent Death Eater Needs To Know About Britain's Most Belovedly Feared Dark-Lord-Who-Definitely-Isn't-Back
    as reported to you by Harry J. Potter, the Boy-Who-Knows

    Harry needs a hobby. Luna offers to show him the ropes in investigative journalism. — In other words: Luna Lovegood is Luna Lovegood, Harry is so done with the Wizarding World, Ron is along for the ride, and Hermione really doesn't have time to stop Harry from becoming a Dark Lord.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,807
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Collections:
    31
    Comments:
    876
    Kudos:
    6,359
    Bookmarks:
    2,486
    Hits:
    86,964
  5. *

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    Summary

    “James Fleamont Potter! You are supposed to be watching the baby!”
    “Relax Lils, Death has him.”
    “And how many living babies do you think the bloody shadowy projection of the physical embodiment of the concept of death has taken care of?”
    “… I’ll go supervise.”

     

    or, the one where Harry is an eldritch horror /pos
    [Harry, looking into the abyss: "here, kitty kitty"]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,815
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Collections:
    15
    Comments:
    763
    Kudos:
    5,197
    Bookmarks:
    1,714
    Hits:
    77,609
  6. *

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    Summary

    It’s the first day after Winter break with snow quietly falling outside the large, gothic windows, though you can hardly get anyone to go out into the cold, especially this early in the morning. For the past week, Harry had been trying to scrape together all his supposed bravery that let him get into Gryffindor, and the current peaceful atmosphere of the mid-breakfast Great Hall really isn’t helping his nerves right now.
    “Hey, Hermione?” he casually asks over the buttered toast on his plate he hadn’t touched since Ron put it there. His hands are cold and wet and shaking and he hates it. “Do you think I have any living relatives outside the Dursleys?”
    ***

    Or: what if the Golden Trio decided that fuck it, they are getting Harry out of the Dursleys? Which of course means that they need a way to do that, which results in an impromptu break-in into the Restricted Section, some questionable decisions, and… Accidental Parent Acquisition.
    Because I’m a sucker for Parent Tom Riddle, apparently.
    ***

    HP doesn’t belong to me and I don’t own any of the canon characters or accidental quotes from the book.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    314,647
    Chapters:
    45/45
    Comments:
    2,641
    Kudos:
    4,664
    Bookmarks:
    1,640
    Hits:
    246,585
  7. *

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    It wasn’t so much that Irmo asked Eru for the hobbits. He desired a race to call his own. One that he could care for and guide through the darkness he knew was coming. Really, the hobbits found him. For Irmo could bring any along the Path of Dreams who were true to the Valar. He found no truer beings than his hobbits.

    In their dreams, his hobbits could make the journey to his Garden where they helped him tend it while speaking to him of all that went on in the Shire and the surrounding lands. They did not travel to him every night. Some only came once or twice in their lifetime, but every hobbit always made the journey.

    Irmo loved them. He loved them so much that his gifts spilled over to them, manifesting in unique ways. Though he was always available to guide them and listen to their questions and concerns, not even Irmo was able to predict just how the hobbits would use their abilities.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,420
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    875
    Bookmarks:
    106
    Hits:
    4,564
  8. *

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    “What in the hell did you do, Stevie?” Bucky hisses when they’re out of earshot of the agent at the door.

    “I solved the problem, Buck!” Steve says, with a shit-eating grin that strikes fear into Bucky’s heart. “See, I was Googling, and —”

    “No,” Bucky whimpers, dread welling up in his chest. “Whatever it is, no.”

    They are in the small staff kitchen now, and Sam looks up inquiringly. “Don’t tell me he actually went for it,” he says, his voice gleeful.

    “Of course he went for it,” Steve says, trying to keep the snicker out of his voice. “They love him in that part of town,” he repeats in a crooning falsetto.

    Bucky feels like he’s about to burst a blood vessel. “What the fuck did you two do?!?”

    Steve bites his lip, looking a little repentant. He unlocks his phone and hands it to Bucky, open to Google Maps.

    “Four Seasons…Total Landscaping?!?” Bucky reads. “What the fu —” He hits street view, and his legs grow weak.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,790
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    271
    Kudos:
    1,299
    Bookmarks:
    211
    Hits:
    9,723
  9. *

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    Summary

    Stiles has learned two things in his short but decidedly adventurous life. One, being a teenager sucks ass if you can't even jerk off. Two, being Bruce Wayne is not nearly as cool as it sounds if your appointed Alfred refuses to do what you tell him to. Somehow, though, he still manages to get off in the end.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,189
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    996
    Bookmarks:
    229
    Hits:
    16,764
  10. *

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    Summary

    Stiles has been a teapot for 3,308 days. // Scott skids into the door breathlessly and shouts, “THERE’S A GIRL IN THE CASTLE,” and promptly brains himself on one of the casserole dishes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,764
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    331
    Kudos:
    9,122
    Bookmarks:
    2,544
    Hits:
    116,246
  11. *

    Words:
    39,357
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    797
    • 14 Jan 2024

      Rec

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      Finished 1, 2, and 5

      The boys are just so ridiculously gone on each other and their body mods lol

  12. 38

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    Summary

    Barry's not sure how he keeps ending up in the beds of villains, but he's not complaining.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,664
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    295
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    3,180
    • 05 Dec 2023

      Rec

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      “In my defense, you three are stupidly, insanely sexy,” Barry pointed out. “And I am a very weak man when it comes to dangerous, attractive people.”

  13. *

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    Summary

    Coulson, for his part, stares up at Bucky with such a betrayed look of frozen horror that Natasha actually goes the extra step and presses another button, capturing the moment and airdropping the photograph to her phone for posterity. When he speaks, his voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. “Why…?” He swallows and starts again, trying for some semblance of normality. “...Why would you tweet something like that?!”

    “If you must know, sir,” and somehow he manages to make ‘sir’ come out with the same inflection most people reserve for ‘motherfucking son of a bitch’, “it’s because I have a difficult time doing my job when my job involves monitoring the man with the best fucking ass in the United States of America.” He slowly lowers himself back into his seat until he’s at eye level, making extreme eye contact with Coulson until Coulson turns away to make mortified eye contact in Natasha’s general direction through the one-way glass. Natasha would take another picture, if she weren’t too busy catching Steve’s red-faced sputtering. “Sometimes, I vent to my Twitter followers. Sometimes, it’s about hot men with washboard abs. Can I go now, or do you need a graphic description of how I pleasure myself at night?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,127
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    597
    Kudos:
    13,228
    Bookmarks:
    2,819
    Hits:
    78,724
  14. *

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    Summary

    1. Mr. Stark was wrong, and Peter wasn’t just going to stand by while innocent people got hurt. So, yes, he fought with the man, and yes, he was "on the outs" with him and had been banned from every Stark Industries building.

    2. Every field trip the Acadec team has gone on has ended in disaster, injury and almost-death. They are not happy.

    Sadly, his teachers don't believe him or any other Academic Decathlon team member. It's up to them now to get themselves banned from field trips forever, and hopefully, in the process, say 'fuck you' on behalf of the normal, everyday people to the world's most famous superhero.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,571
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    306
    Kudos:
    3,552
    Bookmarks:
    611
    Hits:
    33,231
  15. *

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    Summary

    So maybe Peter hasn't told the Avengers that he's Spider-Man yet. And maybe he's also Tony's personal intern and gets introduced to them all.

    It shouldn't be too hard to keep his identity secret, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,005
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    311
    Kudos:
    5,238
    Bookmarks:
    761
    Hits:
    81,855
  16. *

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    Summary

    Until they can clear Bucky's name and make sure that he isn't whisked away by different Government agencies that want to get their hands on the Winter Soldier, Tony comes up with a plan to hide Bucky in plain sight. Just some Avengers fun.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,294
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    208
    Kudos:
    1,849
    Bookmarks:
    420
    Hits:
    21,112
  17. *

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    Summary

    Then Stiles hears the growl, familiar and furious.

    “Oh shiitake mushrooms,” Stiles groans, turning around. “Heeeeey Derek. Isn’t it a little past your bedtime?”

    Derek looks as pissed as Stiles has ever seen him and it kind of gives him a little bit of satisfaction, so he snuggles closer to Ricky. Derek bares his teeth at them, thankfully still human and his nostrils flare wildly.

    “You’re drunk,” Derek accuses him flatly.

    You’re drunk,” Stiles tells Derek nonsensically.

    “This is the ‘not boyfriend’ I’m guessing?” Ricky looks down at Stiles, eyebrow cocked.

    Derek full on snarls at that and for the first time in forever, Stiles starts to worry he might lose control of the shift.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,954
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    217
    Kudos:
    4,368
    Bookmarks:
    711
    Hits:
    51,018
  18. *

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    Summary

    Sure, Peter is technically the alpha of Stiles's new (and returning) friend group, but if they're going to spend all of their time at the Sheriff's house, Noah's going to do his best to keep them all out of trouble.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,630
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    453
    Bookmarks:
    111
    Hits:
    3,876
  19. *

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    Summary

    The guy just came in with a duffle bag full of knives and plopped them down on the counter, easy as you please. He’s standing there with a perfectly cheerful look on his face, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet.

    -

    In which Stiles Stilinski is probably a serial killer, but Derek falls in love anyway.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,644
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    6,949
    Bookmarks:
    930
    Hits:
    41,565
  20. *

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    Summary

    For a long time now, the Beacon County Sheriff’s Department has turned a blind eye toward many of the town’s supernatural issues and let the Hales deal with them. But in the last few months, the Hales have both added to their numbers and seemingly lost the ability to be discreet, and Sheriff Stilinski is tired of pretending that he and the deputies don’t know exactly what’s going on.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,680
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    109
    Kudos:
    1,658
    Bookmarks:
    576
    Hits:
    10,436

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