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  1. *

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    Everyone at McGill knows three things: their hockey team is the best in the country, the Rozanov family could buy half of Montreal, and Shane Hollander is completely off limits.

    So when new students start asking Shane out after winter break, Ilya Rozanov decides he needs to put a stop to it.

    Or: the horrifying realization that Ilya Rozanov might be in love with his best friend.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,880
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    524
    Kudos:
    17,025
    Bookmarks:
    3,074
    Hits:
    154,818
  2. *

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    "What is your problem?" Shane demanded, his voice sounding thinner than he liked, laced with the exhaustion of the night. "I gave up our bedroom and the guest room and now you're here".

    He heard the rustle of fabric as Ilya settled onto the far end of the couch, claiming his territory with his infuriating, unspoken intensity.

    "We sleep in same place no matter what," Ilya murmured, the low, steady vibration of his voice hitting Shane somewhere deep. "So stay put or I follow you around home".

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,871
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    2,350
    Bookmarks:
    343
    Hits:
    19,608
  3. *

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    Emily @emilystwitterstuff21

    Shane Hollander being a physically and emotionally abusive boyfriend was not on my bingo card this year. What the fuck is going on??

    Clara @hockeyfan101

    Of all hockey players it's SHANE HOLLANDER??? The golden boy of the NHL that does no wrong?? Omg. Istg men are trash.

    Or: everyone thinks Shane abuses his girlfriend Lily, and Yuna Hollander is not at all amused about, while Shane is just upset that his parents have such an issue with him being gay.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,092
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    304
    Kudos:
    11,280
    Bookmarks:
    1,476
    Hits:
    72,481
  4. *

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    The evidence is mounting. It’s getting very difficult to ignore: first that sweatshirt, then the definitely-not-a-dick-pic in the locker room, and now the phone call. It’s a shame really; Lily’s such a sweet girl. She makes Shane so happy.

    And Shane? Hayden’s almost positive Shane is cheating on Boston Lily with Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,239
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    591
    Kudos:
    18,850
    Bookmarks:
    3,129
    Hits:
    159,012
  5. *

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    Ilya gets his bell rung while playing for Ottawa against Montreal

    He forgets how to speak English and can only speak Russian

    Luckily, Shane Hollander, the light of his life, has learned Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,767
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    128
    Kudos:
    11,125
    Bookmarks:
    1,850
    Hits:
    77,969
  6. *

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    Shane could deny it – he could try to pretend the man in the audio whimpering for more isn’t him, that it’s a scam, that it was fake or edited. He could get lawyers involved, or take it to the press before anything leaks and control the narrative himself. But he doesn’t know how much more the blackmailer has, and he can’t risk Ilya getting outed or deported or – well, he can’t risk Ilya.
    *Shane and Ilya don't get caught at the cottage. But they still get caught.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,747
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    598
    Kudos:
    8,385
    Bookmarks:
    1,789
    Hits:
    78,727
  7. *

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    Continuation of 'I Exist To Love You'

    Shane ends up sending the "we didn't even kiss" text, this is the morning after. They finally talk.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,984
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    2,208
    Bookmarks:
    244
    Hits:
    15,934
  8. *

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    Shane ends up sending the "we didn't even kiss" text, and Ilya Rozanov (rightfully) freaks the fuck out.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,381
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    112
    Kudos:
    4,355
    Bookmarks:
    730
    Hits:
    45,306
  9. *

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    Svetlana: It’s really everywhere
    Hayden: Literally how much lube does one couple need
    Rose: Where have you guys found it?
    Cassie: Bathrooms, kitchen, living room, garage
    Rose: Oh the garage ones!!!
    Svetlana: Which ones did you find? The one on the opener or the ones in the toolbox? Or the one on the shelf?
    Troy: Garage ones, plural?

    ***

    Or, the friends of Hollanov make a game out of their lube hiding places, and everything spirals from there

    Or or, the lube fic

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,462
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    400
    Kudos:
    6,242
    Bookmarks:
    976
    Hits:
    34,192
  10. *

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    “Uh,” he says, looking up from his screen and feeling his ears go hot, realizing for the first time that this habit of his hasn’t actually come up before until this exact moment.

    “What?” Rozanov asks, sounding more amused than anything else. “You are one of the people who does Instagram for food now?”

    “No,” Shane says, stalling between answering and finishing his Snap so he can send it to Melissa, “one sec.” He finishes typing out 'Tuna melt. Chips. Pickles. It smells really good. Swiss cheese, I think.' before he looks back to Rozanov, putting his phone facedown on the coffee table. “Just sending it to someone on the staff. She likes knowing what I’m eating.”

    He doesn’t know if Melissa likes knowing what he’s eating, per se, but she also seems pleased when he talks about enjoying food for things beyond how many grams of protein it has in it.

    “Ah,” Rozanov says, in a tone Shane can’t quite read. “You always send her your food then, this girl?”

    (shane has a habit of sending his team's dietician his meals for approval) (the problem with this habit? he forgets to tell ilya exactly what it is that melissa does) (how the tuna meltdown is AVERTED through the power of miscommunication)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,481
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    415
    Kudos:
    4,613
    Bookmarks:
    932
    Hits:
    19,641
  11. *

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    Shane and Ilya broke up. It was the adult, mature decision they made together and moved on from. Except Shane is still Ilya's emergency contact and Ilya's coach just called.

    Ilya had a seizure. Well, seizures. Multiple. He is in the hospital, in the operation block and suddenly Shane is met with the possibility that last words Ilya Rozanov ever heard from him were "Maybe love isn't enough."

    And then complications occur. And Ilya is not waking up.

    ***

    They’d sat on a perfectly ordinary Wednesday afternoon in their perfectly ordinary kitchen, with coffee that had gone cold on the table between them, and calmly dismantled the life they’d built together. One sentence at a time.

    “Maybe we need space.” “Maybe we’re just hurting each other.” “Maybe love isn’t enough.”

    He wants to go back and shove that version of himself against the wall. Shake him until his teeth rattle.

    Love is the only thing that matters when someone is under general anaesthesia and a stranger is touching their brain, Shane thinks wildly. Love is literally the only currency worth anything in a room like this.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,239
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    526
    Kudos:
    12,279
    Bookmarks:
    3,126
    Hits:
    184,317
  12. *

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    It happens against Montreal, because of course it does.

    Shane Hollander has accumulated hundreds of penalty minutes across his career, same as every other hockey player, but none have ever been from fighting.

    That is until a bad hit by his former teammates leaves his husband laid out on the ice and a comment that crosses the line has Shane dropping his gloves for the first (and hopefully last) time.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,943
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    15
    Comments:
    855
    Kudos:
    20,970
    Bookmarks:
    3,632
    Hits:
    231,441
  13. *

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    Here are some facts:

    Six months ago, Ilya and Shane sat on Ilyas’ couch, in Boston, and said, we want to be more, even if it has to be in secret.

    Four months ago, Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander bought new houses. If asked, they would both say it was a complete coincidence. They were not asked, because most people do not browse Zillow for fun in their free time (Shane-) and the real estate of hockey players was of very limited interest to even the most hardcore fan.

    Two hours ago, Shane Hollander was bleeding out on the ice.

    Yuna and David Hollander were at least three hours away, at the exact moment their son hit the ice. Yuna Hollander is a perceptive woman. If she enters the house, she will know her son does not live alone.

    Here is the most important fact Ilya knows right now: Shane would not want to come out to his parents like this.

    Ilya has one hour to wipe his existence from his boyfriends’ house.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,885
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    291
    Kudos:
    2,298
    Bookmarks:
    493
    Hits:
    16,375
  14. *

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    “Ilya,” Shane gasped out, like it hurt to form the word. With it came a small smattering of blood on his lip. A few extra hands were working alongside Ilya and Pike, but Ilya would not move. He had to stay, and listen, and be with Shane.

     

    “Yes. Shaneya, I am here. What do you need to tell me?” More and more blood burbled up past Shane’s lips, which couldn’t be a good sign. How could more blood be trying to escape him? There were already two exit points, wasn’t that enough? Now he had to drown in it?

     

    “Tell Ilya I’m sorry… I- I love him… So much. I’m sorry I left. Please. Please, I can’t die without him knowing…” Ilya couldn’t breathe behind the sob that tore out of him. He collapsed inward with the force of it. Shane was below him, begging to live so that he could tell Ilya he loved him. If anyone reacted to the two boys, Ilya didn’t notice. This whole thing could still be being live-streamed to ESPN, and Ilya wouldn’t care.

    Or, Shane gets shot on the ice right after the Tuna Melt Gate. Ilya is there to save him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,056
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    1,929
    Bookmarks:
    418
    Hits:
    18,604
  15. *

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    “Maybe—maybe Lily is sleeping,” she says. Bargaining, she realizes numbly. She’s bargaining for more time. And for whatever is unfolding here to stop unfolding and in fact fold itself back up. Her thumb shifts away from the call button. “And you should be sleeping too, mister.”

    “He’s not sleeping.” Shane flares his nostrils—another gesture Yuna hasn’t seen in so many years. “He’s waiting for me to call a third time. Mom. Please. He’s—he’ll be so worried.”

    Yuna shifts her thumb and lets it drop. Is Yuna a bad mother if she hopes "Lily" doesn’t pick up?

    -x-

    or: Shane needs to call someone the night he's laid out by Marlow, and Yuna reflects on her quietly, obsessively devoted son.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,864
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    678
    Kudos:
    25,688
    Bookmarks:
    3,589
    Hits:
    182,571
  16. *

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    When Roz starts speaking, frantically letting out Russian words from his hospital bed, Troy jumps in fear. “Ty emu uzhe pozvonila? Gde mama?

    While Troy might not know Russian, or any other Slavic language that might have offered him some sort of context, he understands the word for mother. His heart clenches in his chest. Calling for your mom, especially when you’re hurt and confused feels instinctive. Troy is pretty sure he’d do the same thing. But the thought of coming out of your dazed state while desperately wanting your mom, and the loss of your mom coming crashing down on you must be a different type of agony.

    Roz starts speaking again, Russian coming to him easier than English must. “Mama? Gde moya mama?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,574
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    153
    Kudos:
    10,422
    Bookmarks:
    1,273
    Hits:
    77,490
  17. *

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    “Wait, Mr. Raiders fan,” Rozanov calls.

    Constable Sullivan pauses.

    “I get a phone call, yes?”

    “Sure.” He pulls out his own phone. “Do you know the number?”

    Rozanov nods. The numbers all come out in a rush, as though he’s memorized it in one long string and can’t think of any of them separately.

    It’s a Montreal area code, the constable notes, as he types it in. As the phone rings, he puts it on speaker and asks Rozanov: “Who is it?”

    “Shane Hollander.”

    “Fuck off. Who is it really?”

    Or: in the midst of the Rose breakup, the Raiders win a game in Montreal. Unable to do what he normally does after Montreal games, Ilya goes out to a club, gets super drunk, and ends up getting picked up by Montreal police for public intoxication. Sitting in a holding cell, the only number he can remember is Shane's.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,980
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    256
    Kudos:
    12,480
    Bookmarks:
    1,630
    Hits:
    54,789
  18. *

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    "Did you see what happened to Rozanov after the game?"

    Shane's head snapped up and he lost his rhythm on the rowing machine. He slowed to a stop so he wouldn't hit himself in the face. One of the weight benches exploding wouldn't be enough to pull his attention away from his teammates' conversation.

    "No, what happened?"

    "Dude got fucking arrested."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,426
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    204
    Kudos:
    12,527
    Bookmarks:
    1,835
    Hits:
    77,313
  19. *

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    Set in the universe of there is no heart for me like yours, Shane and Ilya go in search of a dog and find a bit more than they bargained for.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,868
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    143
    Kudos:
    3,520
    Bookmarks:
    214
    Hits:
    23,853
  20. *

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    When Yuna accidentally interrupts Shane and Ilya sharing an intimate moment, Ilya is completely willing to play the bad guy to control the situation. Even though he wants for the approval of Shane's parents, he will sacrifice it to establish clearly-needed boundaries. As if Shane would let him take this on alone.

    Meanwhile, Yuna does not entirely realize what she had stepped into, and she is left upset and defensive. David is horrified that his wife has apparently not been heeding his many (many) warnings to text ahead of time.

    One day Ilya may be the favorite son, and Shane can watch fondly as he solves puzzles and eats ice cream at his parents' house. It just takes some time and work and adjustment to get there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,637
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    255
    Kudos:
    2,894
    Bookmarks:
    630
    Hits:
    29,243

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