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Don't Fuck With Florists (They'll Fuck You Up) by MayMarlow
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
14 Aug 2016
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Summary
Unsatisfied with his post-war life, Harry decides to get to the root of all of his problems when that root was still working at Borgin and Burkes shop in the late 40s. He’s the Master of Death, damn it, he can do what he wants for once in his life.
Tom Riddle isn’t particularly happy about working at a small, dingy shop for magical artifacts, no matter how interesting those artifacts are. He’s even less happy when an insufferable stranger sets up the most obnoxious flower shop right across the street.
What follows would be a romantic comedy, if it weren’t for politics.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,944
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 120
- Comments:
- 982
- Kudos:
- 42,376
- Bookmarks:
- 8,668
- Hits:
- 364,943
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Those Made of Lightning and Blood by A_Single_Cactus
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
26 May 2025
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Summary
A world of magic is explained to Harry. A world where he can cast fireballs and levitate objects. A world where he isn’t alone, where he can find others like him.
All magical folk have a soulmate, even Harry has one. His words are written on his right arm. He just wished the words weren't complete rubbish.
Avada Kedavra.
What could that even mean?
***
A story in which Harry believes his soulmate bond is unreciprocated. Voldemort is his soulmate, but he's not Voldemort's. What he doesn't realize is that he's meant to speak his first words to Voldemort in a different time, not in front of the Mirror of Erised.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 53,440
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 291
- Kudos:
- 4,379
- Bookmarks:
- 1,145
- Hits:
- 90,446
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Summary
As Harry and Hermione race through the Forest of Dean, a snatcher fires a memory charm at Harry. The charm does not hit him, yet the snatcher believes that it did.
Upon Harry's capture, the snatcher proudly informs Voldemort that he has erased the boy's memories. Harry decides to play along, pretending he knows nothing of the war and magic. He'll bide his time until he can escape. Voldemort has always underestimated him.
Voldemort then does something completely unexpected. He informs Harry that he is his fiancé.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 56,033
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 522
- Kudos:
- 5,164
- Bookmarks:
- 1,288
- Hits:
- 108,757
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Summary
When Petunia first abandons Harry to the cupboard under the stairs, a paroxysmal reaction of magic sends the infant back through time to the relative safety of 1963. Recovered from the site of a magical hailstorm in Surrey, he is adopted into the Potter family.
Or—
Harry Potter is entering his sixth year at Hogwarts. With less than satisfactory OWL results and a war brewing just outside the school walls, he has plenty to contend with . . . the last thing Harry needs is to catch the attention of the rising Dark Lord.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 98,540
- Chapters:
- 40/40
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 1,117
- Kudos:
- 4,157
- Bookmarks:
- 1,265
- Hits:
- 134,064
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Summary
Every night, Harry has the same kind of dream. Most would call them soulmate dreams, Harry calls them nightmares. There’s only one positive aspect to them: he doesn’t remember them when he wakes up, allowing him to live his life oblivious to the fact that Lord Voldemort is his soulmate.
Series
- Part 2 of I Can't Carry This
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,332
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 307
- Kudos:
- 2,103
- Bookmarks:
- 259
- Hits:
- 37,872
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Summary
After being badgered by his friends, Harry volunteers for the spring fair kissing booth.
Tom isn't one to let a golden opportunity like this pass by without taking advantage of it.
Series
- Part 18 of duplicity's One-Shots
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,355
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 101
- Kudos:
- 2,439
- Bookmarks:
- 313
- Hits:
- 16,899
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Summary
In which Tom Riddle finds himself afflicted by a most inconvenient obsession: Harry Evans.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 88,876
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 666
- Kudos:
- 4,998
- Bookmarks:
- 1,450
- Hits:
- 125,567
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Summary
A coffee shop AU but the coffee is snakes.
Or: In which Harry lives in the snake-infested equivalent of a TARDIS and pseudo-adopts an incredibly confused but still relentlessly ambitious Tom Riddle.
Tom thought he was hallucinating, to begin with. Suddenly, between the dilapidated Potions store and the magical equipment repair store, there was a dizzyingly green overgrowth of plants and vines and venomous flowers that only parted to show a door when one stood directly opposite it. The greenery practically burst out of the walls and even between the cobbles of the cobblestone path outside, as though it was carnivorous, insatiable, uncontainable.
He initially presumed that it might be some kind of exotic plant shop, but then he heard the whispers from within, and noticed that, if he squinted, the twisting, writhing vines above the door seemed to spell out a single word: Serpensortia.
Tom was inside the door before he knew it.
Series
- Part 2 of Tomarrymort Stories
- Part 3 of Sugar Daddy Stories
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The Ferret Files by Whispic
Fandom 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)
11 Jan 2026
Summary
RIGHT OKAY IVE GOT IT SORTED OUT NOW
The Ferret Files:
Complete – Book 1 – U.A.: Under Adult Supervision (Mostly) (prequel to Midoriya Izuku: Ferret level threat)
Complete - Book 2 – Midoriya Izuku: Ferret level threat – Main Story
Complete - Book 3 – “If I Touch Him, I’ll Break Something. If I Don’t, I’ll Break Anyway."
Complete - Book 4 – You Can’t Just Erase Social Interaction
Complete - Book 5 – “Mineta Minoru – A Comprehensive Report on Why We’re So Done With This Dude”
Complete - Book 6 – “He Called Me What??"
Complete - Book 7 – “Someone Needs to Put That Ferret in a Cage”
Complete - Book 8 – “What Happens When You Give the Ferret a PowerPoint”
Complete – Book 9 – Movie Night (aka Emotional Damage in Dolby Surround)
Incomplete – Book 10 – “Legally a Terror, Emotionally Four Years Old”
Incomplete – Book 11 – One (Un)Holy Sunday
Incomplete – Book 12 – Some Things Don’t Revert- Words:
- 101,946
- Works:
- 9
- Bookmarks:
- 288
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Summary
Harry Potter did something stupid... again.
Through a series of intentional accidents, Harry ended up in the past, with powers he doesn't understand and only one companion he can talk to about everything. And it is not Ron or Hermione. Every day is a trial (honestly, he would rather take on the dragon again) in Slytherin. Yes, because of course, he had to be sorted with the snakes and have Tom Riddle for a roommate.
The odds of Harry going mad? High.
The odds of Harry getting locked in Azkaban? High.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 132,331
- Chapters:
- 21/?
- Comments:
- 420
- Kudos:
- 2,510
- Bookmarks:
- 744
- Hits:
- 78,923
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Bookmark Notes:
left off chapter 21
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We're All Mad Here by i_crave_sleep_yet_i_spit_in_its_face
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Minecraft (Video Game)
20 Nov 2025
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Summary
A random guy gets plopped into the body of one Harry Potter. The only problem?
He thinks he's in a video game (and his magic only helps his delusions.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,633
- Chapters:
- 6/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 98
- Kudos:
- 979
- Bookmarks:
- 293
- Hits:
- 13,365
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Bookmark Notes:
left off chapgefr 6
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No Time For Caution by NICEISME
Fandoms: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
11 Feb 2017
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Summary
Fill this prompt...
"So everyone at MACUSA has a healthy respect/fear of Graves. He's powerful, he was tortured and shrugged it off, he's just all around a intimidating guy without trying.Enter Newt, a bright sunshine with shy smiles and just overall adorable.
Everyone is left stunned when Newt treats Graves overly affectionate, touching him, fixing his suit, stealing a bite of his food. Etc.
I just wants the Aurors bracing for sweet Newt to get yelled at and it never happens. Graves lets him off every time and eventually everyone realizes their dating."
5+1 times with unhealthy amounts of crack and swearing.
*Now Completed!*
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Summary
Tired of the constant mocking of his brother's coworkers about how he'd never get a date, Newt does the first things that comes to his mind he kisses a complete stranger that turns out to be Tina's ill-tempered boss, Percival Graves.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,074
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 30
- Kudos:
- 3,350
- Bookmarks:
- 442
- Hits:
- 23,351
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Summary
Percival is affected by a very odd potion that seems to increase your worst defects.
But Director Graves, defects? Of course he doesn't have any. He's the Director of Magical Security for Lewis' sake...
But then he sees Newt being hugged by the Goldsteins and something changes in him.
He might be a bit possessive.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,124
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 40
- Kudos:
- 3,124
- Bookmarks:
- 446
- Hits:
- 34,895
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He’s What? by Inkblooded_Witch
Fandoms: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
18 Mar 2022
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Summary
Percival Graves is feared and revered in equal measure. An Auror who was the best in his field until he was promoted to Head of Magical Security for MACUSA. There’s rumors floating around he’s mated, but no one knows for sure. He doesn’t discuss his private life, at all. With anyone. It takes a minor catastrophe in MACUSA’s lobby for there to be any proof he even has one.
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The clingy one by silverynight
Fandoms: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
11 Apr 2018
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Summary
The aurors of MACUSA don’t believe Queenie Goldstein when she tells them their boss is a clingy man. They’re aware she’s a legilimens, but it’s hard for them to picture the Director of Magical Security, smiling happily while being wrapped around someone.
Because it’s not possible for the wizard that growls instead of talk, that’s constantly with a frown on his face and is in a permanent bad mood to be needy. Percival Graves seems like a man who doesn’t need or want company of any kind.
***
But when Newt Scamander returns to New York they find out how wrong they are.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 915
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 19
- Kudos:
- 2,947
- Bookmarks:
- 357
- Hits:
- 25,823
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How to get along with your boss (and accidentally seduce him in the process) by silverynight
Fandoms: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
10 Jul 2018
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Summary
After everything the aurors of MACUSA told him about the Director of Magical Security, his new grumpy, ill-tempered boss, Newt decides to do his best to get along with him.
But he doesn't know how to do that, so he starts to put into practice his family's advices.
The problem is that he doesn't realize he's accidentally flirting with Percival Graves and that said wizard is flirting right back.
***
Updated: Now with epilogue!- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,849
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 280
- Kudos:
- 10,177
- Bookmarks:
- 1,945
- Hits:
- 116,415
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Five times Newt gets exactly what he wants and one time he has to give something in return by silverynight
Fandoms: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
30 Apr 2017
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Summary
Newt Scamander has Percival Graves, Director of Magical Security and one of the most powerful aurors alive, completely wrapped around his little finger.
But that's not a surprise, everyone knows it, Graves is not very subtle after all.
No, the interesting thing is that Newt knows it too.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,799
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 92
- Kudos:
- 4,656
- Bookmarks:
- 867
- Hits:
- 52,148
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A false impression by silverynight
Fandoms: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
01 Apr 2017
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Summary
A misunderstanding leads Percival Graves to believe Newt Scamander is not Theseus' brother but his husband.
The problem? He falls in love with Newt.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,927
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 40
- Kudos:
- 4,936
- Bookmarks:
- 676
- Hits:
- 40,527
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Bookmark Collections:
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I'll Write You An IOU by TheSilverQueen for elletromil
Fandoms: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
18 Feb 2017
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Summary
When Percival wakes up and sees a different ceiling than the dark, blood splattered one of his prison for the first time in three months, his first thought is, I’m going to owe Newt the biggest IOU ever.
Or: Percival Graves and Newt Scamander have been saving each other in turns for years. So, really, Newt revealing Grindelwald is just another Wednesday in his book.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,963
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 178
- Kudos:
- 14,119
- Bookmarks:
- 3,281
- Hits:
- 117,462
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