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  1. Rec *

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    Summary

    Alastor did not sign up for romance. Unfortunately, the universe disagrees.

    When the world around him begins to behave like a poorly scripted program —complete with glowing hearts, intrusive system messages, and mandatory “bonding events”—Alastor quickly realizes something is very wrong. Silenced, constrained, and pressured into connections he does not intend to make nor deepen, he finds himself trapped in a system where neutrality is mistaken for interest and refusal is not an option.

    The more he resists, the more it forces his hand.

    A darkly comedic descent into forced intimacy, mistaken intent, and the cost of 'falling in love'.

    Every choice affects a heart—whether he wants it to or not.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    135,088
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    568
    Kudos:
    765
    Bookmarks:
    216
    Hits:
    25,514

    19 Jun 2026

  2. Rec *

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    Summary

    Eleven years old, in a shack on a rock in the sea, Harry Potter learns there’s an entire secret world of people just like him. People with magic. People who are strange. Perhaps even people who are trouble.

    Except, even here, no one is strange like him.

    (At least, not yet.)

    AKA: Three meetings between Lord Voldemort and the Boy-Who-Lived.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,290
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    1,240
    Bookmarks:
    249
    Hits:
    5,186

    09 Jun 2026

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    THIS WAS GREAT!

  3. Rec *

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    Summary

    It begins with Vernon Dursley's body, dead across the table.

     
    In which Voldemort is dosed with amortentia, and nothing is better for it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,901
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    616
    Kudos:
    8,895
    Bookmarks:
    2,045
    Hits:
    111,645

    22 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
    Bookmarker's Notes

    BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN!

    Voldemort's approach to 'love' was interesting and Harry's reaction to each tragedy was depicted wonderfully.

    It was sad at times (A LOT of the times).

  4. Rec *

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    Summary

    Voldemort, unexpectedly short on money and growing tired of both Wormtail's existence and Nagini's incessant pleas to eat the wizard, has a most brilliant idea: crowdfunding, and the first reward tier is a livestreamed broadcast of Nagini getting her wish. It is a massive success - and the people demand more.

    Said 'people' just so happens to include one Boy-Who-Lived.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    99,222
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Collections:
    59
    Comments:
    2,809
    Kudos:
    9,134
    Bookmarks:
    2,609
    Hits:
    283,952

    22 May 2026

  5. Rec *

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    Summary

    Harry had two main regrets in his life:

    1. Asking the question “What if I set up a mock awards show to get cult leaders to show up for my thesis study?”

    and

    2. Responding with “That is hilarious” when Ron had suggested they call the awards show 'The Cultys'.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,795
    Chapters:
    40/?
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    2,030
    Kudos:
    3,468
    Bookmarks:
    706
    Hits:
    54,578

    06 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Two words:

    Diabolical and hilarious

  6. Rec *

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    Summary

    It had been three weeks since Harry had mistakenly landed in the 1970s, given his name to Dumbledore as Harry James, and been re-Sorted as a Slytherin.

    It had been two weeks since, in an effort to avoid his mother and the Marauders, Harry had started hanging out with Snape.

    It had been one week since, to his absolute, gut-wrenching horror, he had been asked out by Lily Evans to Hogsmeade.

    Harry had never imagined there could be anything worse than facing down Lord Voldemort in a creepy graveyard. He had been wrong.


    Meet Harry Potter. He's broken the timeline, busted his parents' first date, and potentially botched his chances of ever being born.

    And, just maybe, he's also caught the attention of a certain rising Dark Lord.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,816
    Chapters:
    85/?
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    2,406
    Kudos:
    6,456
    Bookmarks:
    1,622
    Hits:
    124,672

    06 May 2026

  7. Rec *

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    Summary

    New Orleans, 1933.
    Vincent Whittman’s assignment (punishment) seems simple enough: recruit Mr. Alastor Hartfelt, the city’s famed radio star.
    But his trip derails the moment he meets the man dressed in a smile too sharp, with secrets too deep, and a presence that hums with something far beyond him.
    One broken ritual binds them for decades, pulling them back to each other again and again, to the one soul neither can quite break away from.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    220,446
    Chapters:
    10/18
    Comments:
    1,289
    Kudos:
    4,783
    Bookmarks:
    1,176
    Hits:
    161,664

    03 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    AMAZING!

  8. Rec 48

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    Summary

    Vincent makes an unusual deal with an unusual demon.

    “When people make deals with demons,” the radio said, still softly crackling like an old fire, the speakers still glowing a bioluminescent shade of green. “They generally want one of four things. Humans sell their souls for money, power, fame, or to win the affection of someone they think they love. Which do you want?”

    Vincent couldn’t help the champagne-bubble giggles that erupted from his throat. 

    “I want it all,” he said.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,019
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    393
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    1,860

    20 Apr 2026

  9. Rec 67

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    Summary

    "How long have we known each other?"

    It took Lucifer a moment to parse the relevance of that question, blinking slowly with the palm of Alastor's hand against his mouth, warm and dry. He bit it gently and Alastor gave his cheeks a final squeeze before withdrawing his touch to allow him to answer.

    "I—" No matter how often it happened, he always felt faintly blindsided when forced to confront the vagaries of his memory. Would Alastor be offended that he didn't actually remember? Had it been just one year? Except, no, because there had been far too many guests at the hotel for that now. Three years, or maybe five? He swallowed and gave a weak laugh. "Does it matter?"

    Except that was probably a worse answer, and from the narrowing of Alastor's eyes and the discordant, crackling sound of a buzzer that signaled wrong, wrong, wrong, he knew he'd misstepped somehow.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,326
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    353
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    1,858

    17 Apr 2026

  10. Rec 17

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    Summary

    In a universe where Vox and Alastor are 20% healthier than canon, they are partners and both attend therapy.

    Though, Vox took a short stint away from his annoying therapy sessions during Alastor's disappearance.
    Seven years and several unavoidable mental breakdowns later, Vox is ready (or, forced) to regularly attend therapy again!
    God help his new therapist.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,329
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    112
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    670

    10 Apr 2026

  11. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    During a training lesson gone wrong, Alastor finds himself in a Pentagram City he doesn't recognize.

    The more he uncovers about this strange new city, the more he finds himself in a hell worse than actual Hell. He scrambles for a way to get back home, but his resources are limited and time is running out as the reining Overlord of the pentagram senses his presence and begins a relentless pursuit to find him.

    And Alastor's not sure how long he can keep up this game of cat and mouse.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,928
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    370
    Kudos:
    1,362
    Bookmarks:
    397
    Hits:
    27,204

    07 Apr 2026

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  12. Rec *

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    Summary

    In one glorious half-hour, Alastor has broken or completed three contracts, freed himself from two separate forms of bondage, and enjoyed a rousing jaunt through nearly half the Pentagram. Incidentally, he may also have shattered Vox’s psyche and his heart. But you know what they say about making omelettes; that was a price he was prepared to pay.

    He is less prepared to be personally tasked with unscrambling the eggs.

    (A post-canon fix-it following the S2 finale and the events of They Could Have Been Worse.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    171,596
    Chapters:
    25/?
    Comments:
    1,587
    Kudos:
    2,063
    Bookmarks:
    191
    Hits:
    41,986

    05 Apr 2026

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  13. Rec 24

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    Summary

    “Who the Hell does he think he is?” Vox says, and it’s so utterly ridiculous that Alastor has to laugh.

    At least when he antagonizes Lucifer, he understands who it is that he’s antagonizing. And he used to do it under the wholly-justified assumption that he might be smited for his trouble, at that.

    “The King of Hell, perhaps?” Alastor says. “First Light of all Creation? The Origin of Sin?”

    “What the fuck!” Vox exclaims. “That’s not even—he just got there first, that isn’t impressive.”

    Alastor squints sidelong across the pillows. It has nothing to do with his nearsightedness.

    “What in the world are you talking about?”

    “I totally could have invented sin, Alastor,” Vox says, without a hint of irony.

    (In which Alastor tolerates the days before Vox's attempted coup of Heaven very well. Set in S2E7.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,147
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    413
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    3,332

    05 Apr 2026

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  14. Rec 45

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    Summary

    “Yeah, this is not what Val is doing,” Vox says, gesturing to the foot of space between them. Alastor has to snicker to himself again. “…unless?”

    Vox performs a miraculous recovery from emotional turmoil to open lasciviousness. Alastor doesn’t know why he’s at all surprised.

    “I’m not going to fuck you,” Alastor says bluntly.

    Technically not what Angel Dust is doing.”

    Alastor smiles sheer incredulity across the bedspread until Vox tries again.

    “Fine, we don’t have to do that,” Vox says, still creeping forward. Alastor heaves an open sigh—frankly, he’s a bit theatrical about it. It does little to deter Vox from coming to straddle him again.

    Nor to reach between his wrists, and—

    Fuck. He’d almost forgotten about that. Vox’s claws pluck at their deal chain, suddenly heavy and tangible where it hangs like manacles from his wrists.

    “But you did mention something about this, the other day,” Vox croons, in a tone that Alastor has heard him use with Valentino several times. “Want to play ‘contract?’”

    (In which Vox and Alastor spend some quality time together, Angel Dust is circled by sharks, and Rosie haunts the narrative. Set in S2E6.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,272
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    418
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    4,763

    05 Apr 2026

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  15. Rec 36

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    Summary

    “I know, it takes a second,” Vox is saying. “Val said it felt like kissing a mirror, the first time—and yeah, I did ask him if he kissed a lot of mirrors.”

    He just keeps talking, as if Alastor hasn’t just gotten the shock of his afterlife. As if it weren’t out of absolutely nowhere.

    “It’s some kind of good luck ritual with a lipstick mark he used to do before his shows,” Vox carries on, as if he hasn’t noticed or simply doesn’t care that Alastor is—that Alastor doesn’t know what he is, in fact. “Maybe it worked. Hell, look where he is now.”

    Alastor grapples for a grip on anything. Anything at all. What his overtaxed mind gives him, as Vox reaches out to cup a hand around his face, is this:

    Vox is nervous.

    He’s rambling like Charlie losing her spot in a set of talking points and he’s gripping one of the armrests like an anchor. And he’s glowing; there’s a bit of cyan beneath his eyes.

    Well, fuck. What the Hell is Alastor expected to do about that?

    (In which Vox makes an attempt at romance, Alastor weathers a series of foul moods, and Charlie has a terrible day.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,779
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    456
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    4,007

    05 Apr 2026

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  16. Rec 61

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    Summary

    “Vox,” Alastor says, with saintlike patience. He may as well practice, given how much he’s obviously going to need it imminently. “I really do think that you should, at a minimum, bring flowers.”

    “She’s a high-powered businesswoman,” Vox dismisses. “I know you’re old-fashioned, Al, but Velvette’s right. Powerful women don’t actually like being treated like a hot date you can bribe with flowers and chocolates.”

    God help them all. No, really. Is it too late to start praying?

    “This is a terrible time for your feminist awakening,” Alastor snaps. “You said it yourself—Rosie is my dearest friend. And as bribes go, she likes roses.”

    Vox narrows his eyes at Alastor with actual hurt in them. Oh, what now.

    “I can’t believe you’re actually admitting it,” he says.

    ---

    (In his grand campaign to win the favor of every major Overlord, Vox may have met his match with Rosie. Good thing he has his old pal Alastor to help!)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,978
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    572
    Bookmarks:
    61
    Hits:
    4,660

    05 Apr 2026

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  17. Rec 47

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    Summary

    “You know,” Valentino says, eyeing Alastor with unveiled interest from the couch. Alastor feels deep nostalgia for the days when Valentino was prone to cringe away from him like a girl spotting a spider she was scared to kill. “It’s all hot-swappable.”

    It’s almost guaranteed that Alastor doesn’t want to know what that means. But only almost, and curiosity nags.

    “Pardon?”

    “His dick,” Valentino says casually, and through great personal restraint Alastor does not press his hands into his temples. “He’d probably be into it if you wanted to keep it in your purse.”

    --

    (In which Alastor takes a suggestion from Valentino, to great effect. An optional, porny installment directly following the events of Here's the Reigns.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,528
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    468
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    5,431

    05 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
  18. Rec 65

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    Summary

    “Anyways, nothing about Alastor gives ‘maternal,’” Velvette says after a while. Alastor glances over his shoulder from the stove to find her in the barstool beside Valentino’s, now, with her feet propped in his lap. “You’re the mom. I’m obviously the cool aunt. And Vox is our deadbeat husband.”

    Alastor snickers at the stove.

    “So like, does that make the Radio Demon our kid?” Valentino asks, squinting as he strains the metaphor.

    “I dunno—good thing there’s no CPS in Hell.”

    Alastor openly snorts.

    (The Vees have dinner together like a fucking family, Valentino takes Alastor on a field trip, and Alastor and Vox do some light and friendly bonding activities. Set in approximately S2E6.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,228
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    695
    Bookmarks:
    65
    Hits:
    6,403

    05 Apr 2026

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  19. Rec 68

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    Summary

    “Your mistake, Velvette, is assuming that they tolerated me,” Alastor quips—and freezes only for a moment when Velvette gives up the goat and just starts wholesale magicking new clothes onto his body in rapid succession. Nevertheless, he carries on. “You can’t be popular with other Overlords and disrespect them. You’ll have to choose.”

    “Oh yeah?” Velvette scoffs. “How does that explain Vox then?”

    Alastor smiles unkindly.

    “You and I aren’t Vox.”

    (In which Velvette and Alastor become unlikely friends, Vox does his best impression of a bird flying straight towards a glass door, and Alastor gaslights too close to the sun. Set during the time that Vox filmed his joint venture commercial at Carmine Industries, and a short time thereafter.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,551
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    629
    Bookmarks:
    68
    Hits:
    5,435

    05 Apr 2026

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  20. Rec 89

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    In the second week of Alastor’s imprisonment—or, what is more truthfully turning out to be ‘Alastor’s series of dubiously consensual playdates with the Vees,’ for all that Vox doesn’t seem to understand the first thing about having a captive—Vox agrees to shove his little teammates out of the spotlight, parades himself out on stage with the benefit of their costume design and back-up dancers, and proceeds to singlehandedly win the most hilarious game of chicken that Alastor has ever seen.

    Positive reinforcement may be warranted. But Alastor has never excelled at delivering that consistently.

    (In which Alastor gives Vox a little treat for publicly humiliating Lucifer, followed by several tricks for leaving him alone at home with Valentino. Set between the last few minutes of season 2 episode 5 and first few minutes of season 2 episode 6.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,718
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    645
    Bookmarks:
    89
    Hits:
    5,624

    05 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:

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