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Summary
The exact midpoint between Hate Sex and Buddy Fucking, baby!
- Words:
- 20,262
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 7
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
17 Dec 2025
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Carter’s not sure exactly when he first learned about the patented Peter Benton Dating Algorithm, but it must have been early on, because he internalised it like it was any other scrap of information he’d gleaned and hoarded like a crazy person, like his GPA (3.8), his birthday (September 9th) or his blood type (B positive).
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
13 Oct 2025
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“Okay, so…” Langdon stalls for half a moment, before barrelling ahead. “If you and Abby wanted to…take your relationship to that. Uh, next level. You know? That would be okay with me. I mean, I’d be… You’d have my, well not my permission, cause that sounds weird, but. My blessing, I guess? If —”
“Langdon, are you saying you want me to…to fuck your wife?” Trinity interrupts loudly, unable to wait for him to get to the end of his ramble, and Langdon blows a long breath out of his nose.
“I wish you wouldn’t phrase it like that,” Langdon says, wincing and rubbing his temple with one knuckle. “But, yes. Basically.”
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
18 Sep 2025
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A pity the tales of the old Greeks do not prove true, Danton thinks. A boy spies on a goddess as she bathes, and as punishment for his transgression is turned into a girl. It seems a very likely thing to happen to Camille.
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
12 Oct 2024
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necro elysium (yuck!!) by flemeth
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir, Disco Elysium (Video Game)
27 Feb 2024
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"ALARM [Challenging: Success] — Something is wrong. Missing.
YOU — Your body vies for your attention in sudden, competing aches. And! Everything!! Hurts!!!
INDIGNATION — Ugh! What idiot invented the shoulder! What mega-idiot invented shoulder pain!!"
Or: Mercymorn and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. A Disco Elysium AU.
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
26 Mar 2024
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Roman Roy starts a production company. They make some movies. Those movies are reviewed on Letterboxd.
(No pairings tagged, but a wide variety of Succession ships are evoked.)
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
28 Jan 2024
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The death of the Roys, from 2021 to 2062, until there is no one standing.
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
10 Jan 2024
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roundelay water. by PineAndPetrichor
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
28 Sep 2024
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Ianthe says, “Yeah. I even run a meme account about you. On Twitter. Look up John’s underscore bussy.” She doesn't bat an eye.John does. Wow—“220k followers?”
“Yeah, I’m big time,” she says, disinterested. “It’s a side thing now. My main focus is streaming.”
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John’s the #1 streamer in North America. His fans comment DADDY!!! on all his posts. He’s kinky, celibate, and not ready for vicious small-time streamer Ianthe to slide into his life.Bookmarked by arbitrarily
28 Oct 2023
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Roman was the body. He’d always been a just body, a meat shield from Dad’s anger, entertainment for his friends, a toy in Kendall’s hands.
Kendall and Shiv want to have sex without ruining their relationship. They ask Roman to be between them as they do it. It doesn’t go well.
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
21 Jun 2023
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the soul that seeketh him by bittybelle
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
22 Feb 2023
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People, it turns out, are horny for depression. Or maybe it’s that people are horny for depressed gods. Or maybe enduring betrayal on a literally cosmic scale makes people hotter. Or maybe the death drive is real, and the many-tongued abyss’s breath is still thick in your hair, and it makes everyone want to move closer and take a big, deep whiff. Or maybe you’re God, and they’re scared.
Or: John Gaius meets his daughter, remembers the women he left behind, and deals poorly with being the male god of a universe in which the divine is essentially feminine.
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
23 Feb 2023
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THE CORRUPTION OF SILAS OCTAKISERON by Cypseloides for dancemusicsexromance
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
02 Jan 2023
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What if Silas had survived and become a lyctor, do you think after enough time he would loosen up and become a freak (orgies w/Jod and the old fucks) or stay a puritan for life? Probably puritan huh 😔 unless...?
unless....
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,724
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 17
- Kudos:
- 122
- Bookmarks:
- 19
- Hits:
- 879
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
17 Jan 2023
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“Your sister—she’s kind of a bitch, right?”
“What? Oh, yeah, sure.” Roman takes a beat, thinks it through, “You can remove the ‘kind of’ if you were trying to be polite. Don’t sugar coat the truth.”
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
27 Dec 2021
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whatever souls are made of, yours and mine are the same (insult) by flemeth
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
03 Jul 2021
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“The woman is in a peony-coloured slip. She is taking the pins out of her hair. She is JOY, an acidic thing, citric and citrine. Sour frowns, tangerine pulp hair, liable to irritate in excessive quantities.”
In advance of Dios Apate Major, the Saint of Patience scripts a seduction.
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
04 Jul 2021
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After botching both her career in politics and her chance at running the company, Shiv is directionless and depressed. Merry fucking Christmas.
Series
- Part 1 of Crack-Up
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
30 Dec 2020
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Amazing! This Secret Meeting Between President Nixon and the Apollo 11 Astronauts Was Almost Lost to History by Eccentric_Hat for dogfang
Fandoms: This Speech Was Written For President Nixon To Deliver If The Astronauts...(Clickhole)
26 Nov 2020
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The astronauts have braved the spooky dangers of space, jumped around on the moon, seen zero monsters, and returned to satisfy Richard Nixon's great and terrible desire for moon rocks.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,151
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 99
- Kudos:
- 186
- Bookmarks:
- 37
- Hits:
- 1,303
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
29 Dec 2020
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Never Be Drowned by athousandwinds for trillingstar
Fandoms: And Then There Were None (TV 2015)
18 Dec 2020
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"You know what they say, he’d joked, if you’re born to be hanged you’ll never be drowned."
Vera Claythorne is trapped in a time loop.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,472
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 32
- Kudos:
- 263
- Bookmarks:
- 55
- Hits:
- 1,962
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
28 Dec 2020
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“You know when I knew it was real?” asks Sarah.
“When?”
“When I woke up in the middle of the night and had to take a shit.” Sarah’s eyes swim with emotion. “Honest to God, I’d forgotten what that felt like.”
Sarah Wilder, aging.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,303
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 62
- Kudos:
- 547
- Bookmarks:
- 124
- Hits:
- 3,953
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
27 Dec 2020
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Caroline was never any good with her children.
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
11 Nov 2020
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and treat this night like it’ll happen again by postcardmystery
Fandoms: Succession (TV 2018)
18 Aug 2020
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“You’re the worst fucking person I know,” says Stewy, a hundred times over, in boardrooms and bedrooms and now, finally, in a speeding car on the interstate, and it’s not true, it’s never going to be true, not with Logan’s presence heavy in every room Ken has ever walked into in his entire fucking miserable stupid overshadowed life, but the declaration there is something else— a devotion, a wish.
“Fuck, I know, I know,” says Ken, the guilt threaded through his voice, and that isn’t it, that isn’t it at all.
Kendall and Stewy go on the road trip from (to) hell, hide out and freak out and stop avoiding the hard questions, and come to terms with what it means to pass the point of no return.
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
18 Aug 2020
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Ray is slightly psychic. It's not super fun.
Bookmarked by arbitrarily
27 Jul 2020