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Winter Melon by jeejaschocolate
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
06 Mar 2022
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Summary
Shen Qingqiu has lived his life a certain way. Intentionally. There’s a reason he’s never pursued anyone or formed any romantic entanglements. It’s all because of the way he was born. He doesn’t want that part of him to have any sway over his life.
But his beastly former disciple…
That kid can’t leave well enough alone.
____________Intersex!SJ is imprisoned by pussy-worshipping!LBH.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,459
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 270
- Kudos:
- 2,621
- Bookmarks:
- 612
- Hits:
- 44,633
Bookmarked by cessly
26 Jul 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
"Hmm, you see, baobei," the beast begins. "Your pussy is a little bit dry now because of the towel. We can't have that, can we? I wouldn't be fulfilling my role as your disciple if I left your pussy dry."
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Tags
Summary
Lestat considers condoms. Louis considers castration.
Bookmarked by cessly
21 Jul 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
“Baby, where have you run off to,” Lestat asks the phone as he pouts in the middle of their living room.
“Out,” Louis says.
“Are you seeing your other boyfriend?”
“Yes,” Louis says. “He got dreads and he don’t make me listen to the Beatles and he’s going to give me babies that are not biracial.”
“I’m going to kill myself,” Lestat says.
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sleigh bells/holiday hell by lowlightt
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
29 May 2024
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Summary
“What?” Shen Jiu snaps, terse. “Speak clearly.”
“I said,” Luo Binghe hisses back, as if it’s somehow Shen Jiu who’s got his back up against the wall. “I need you to pretend to be my husband this weekend.”
Shen Jiu has barely processed the words and their meaning before he’s laughing - a sharp, ugly bite of sound. “Absolutely not.”
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The holidays are tough on everyone. Luo Binghe is going home for Christmas, and he desperately needs a date. Somehow, this involves his hated ex-professor.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,070
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 187
- Kudos:
- 1,096
- Bookmarks:
- 220
- Hits:
- 13,706
Bookmarked by cessly
27 Jun 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
"I'm just saying, the amount of hot-for-teacher porn you
were watching-""I wasn't watching that!" Luo Binghe practically shouts, leaving Shen Jiu's ears ringing. "That was something else. It was just - just a stupid virus!"
Shen Jiu absolutely cannot entertain the implications of that. Nope. He's not going to think about it. Not even a little bit. He thinks his skull might split apart if he tried.
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Tags
Summary
When Bruce walks into his new elementary school classroom, the first thing he sees is green. Green hair, green eyes, green sweater with a clown on it, green pants that look way too big.
For years, he cannot look away. Until he does.
A decade later, he looks at the Joker, and all he sees is a person he once loved.
This time, looking away is beyond him.
Bookmarked by cessly
16 Jun 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
A rule of a child made for another child. The time passed, children grew up. The rules underwent changes accordingly, even if they never discussed it openly.
After what happened today, their separation would have to last forever. This and this alone was an acceptable price for the life lost, for the sanity impaired.
For the trust, respect, and love broken.
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Pound the Table by An_October_Daye
Fandoms: X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men (Comicverse), Marvel (Comics)
12 Jan 2025
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Summary
[A 90's Era X-Men Self-Insert]
"There is an old adage among lawyers that says: If you have the facts on your side, pound the facts. If you have the law on your side, pound the law. If you have neither the facts nor the law, pound the table." – Martin A. Davis, Jr.
Mutant law is an emergent field, more or less the wild west of the legal profession, and on a good day, you're lucky if the law and facts aren't all dead-set against you. And when your list of recurring clients includes the Wielder of Cerebro and the Master of Magnetism?
Well... suffice to say, there is plenty of pounding the table to be done.
Series
- Part 1 of Pound the Table
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 225,493
- Chapters:
- 36/?
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 1,002
- Kudos:
- 2,852
- Bookmarks:
- 1,422
- Hits:
- 110,325
Bookmarked by cessly
07 Jun 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
“Your Honor, due to the severity of the defendant’s crimes and the demonstrated danger he poses to the community, the People move to deny bail and request that he be remanded into custody immediately.” Hank tensed, the hair on the back of his neck rising, but Schaefer’s hand on his shoulder, light as her touch was, might as well have been an albatross around his neck.
“I see. Ms. Schaefer?”
“Your Honor, the defense moves that Dr. McCoy be released on his own recognizance and—”
Whatever else Schaefer was about to say, it was lost in the sudden uproar from the gallery. Shouts and jeers erupted, all of it blending into a cacophony of raw noise harsh enough that Hank couldn’t help but bring his hands up to cover his ears, if only to muffle at least a small part of it.
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Tags
Summary
Cedric Diggory doesn't know what to think of the Hufflepuff girl with terrible hair, but whatever it is, it's probably half-decent.
(semi/si written entirely from Cedric's POV)
Series
- Part 17 of lulu's self insert fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,270
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 21
- Comments:
- 175
- Kudos:
- 3,370
- Bookmarks:
- 1,231
- Hits:
- 34,531
Bookmarked by cessly
03 Jun 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
“The cucumbers here are sweeter and bigger than the ones in Japan,” she says. “I prefer the big cucumbers over the small ones.”
Cedric thinks he’s sweating. Thank Merlin the uniform cloaks are black. Why is he sweating? “So you like them… bigger?”
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the night the world burned down, we... by lulu_lisbon
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
28 Nov 2023
Tags
Summary
Well, fuck.
She’s been careful to avoid all this hero nonsense ever since she first opened her eyes in this world and saw that her guardians dressed her up in those stupid pro hero patterned diapers, but what else can she really do at this point?
Yeah, yeah, avoiding the plot was the plan, but a five year old Shimura Tenko wanders the streets, covered in blood, crying for help.
In which a reluctant semi-si/oc purposely avoids heroes, is content to have an average life, but somehow ends up adopting a few broken strays.
Series
- Part 6 of lulu's self insert fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,046
- Chapters:
- 7/?
- Collections:
- 35
- Comments:
- 994
- Kudos:
- 9,027
- Bookmarks:
- 3,124
- Hits:
- 108,622
Bookmarked by cessly
01 Jun 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
"This is my boyfriend," she says, not even bothering to smile.
Aizawa sighs.
"He's just so..." Azumi looks at him, eyes roaming up and down, examining the deep eyebags, ghostly pale skin, unkempt hair, and total lack of life behind those soulless eyes. "…handsome."
The funny thing is, Azumi knows that Aizawa and her exist on the same wavelength so he understands why she's saying this shit to her classmates. It makes his grunt of acknowledgement sound even more painful.
It's glorious.
There's a pregnant pause.
"I have to go now, Azumi-chan," he responds in complete deadpan.
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Tags
Summary
Wherein transmigration occurs, but not everybody gets to start out as a baby. ANBU Dog is also, by far, the worst captain ever, and Kagura very much does not recommend working with him because he’s a loony piece of shit.
A gripping tale of ANBU shenanigans, disturbing romances, and excessive gore. Highly self indulgent.
Series
- Part 13 of lulu's self insert fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,033
- Chapters:
- 13/?
- Collections:
- 40
- Comments:
- 2,202
- Kudos:
- 7,842
- Bookmarks:
- 3,132
- Hits:
- 142,030
Bookmarked by cessly
01 Jun 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
The Hokage is an old, strong man, of myth and legend. At least, that’s what Kagura is supposed to think about her national military ninja dictator, but all she’s picking up here is how old and frail he looks – like someone’s funky Yoda kind of grandpa instead of a world leader. Was there seriously nobody else younger that could’ve taken up the Yondaime’s mantle after the Kyuubi attack? There’s at least one Sannin left, right?
Geriatric support in this country is more sad than terrifying, honestly.
“A commendable agent you are, Swan,” The Hokage says, breaking the silence of the ANBU kneeling.
Oh my god, he even talks like Yoda, Kagura thinks.
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Bigger Fish to Fry by dwellingondreams
Fandoms: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
11 Dec 2025
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Summary
Jon Arryn, revered and respected Hand of the King, is dead. Though many assume his death to be of natural age, others have suspicions... including his widow, Lady Lysa, who is determined to make up for her strange grief-induced amnesia by being the best damn detective King's Landing has ever seen. With her flair for dramatics, regrettable habit of jumping to wild conclusions, and questionable disregard for law enforcement, what could go wrong? Anything and everything, as it turns out.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 123,232
- Chapters:
- 48/48
- Comments:
- 720
- Kudos:
- 1,330
- Bookmarks:
- 412
- Hits:
- 35,396
Bookmarked by cessly
30 May 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
"I was here, writing a letter," said Gilwood, waving the parchment in my face. "Sybelle can attest to that."
"I wasn't here!" she snapped at him, then reddened when she realized what she'd said in front of me.
If looks could kill, Gilwood's would have throttled her.
"Well, where were you, Lady Hunter?" I asked slowly.
"I was in the kitchens," she said, then looked down, uncomfortable. "I was hungry; I didn't eat much at dinner."
"Woman, you downed two bowls of stew!" Gilwood raged. She pulled off one of her rings and threw it at him; everyone ducked.
Jenny and I got out while the going was good.
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Tags
Summary
Where the grass is greener.
Series
- Part 16 of Smallville works
Bookmarked by cessly
22 May 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
"It'll launch tomorrow," Lex said. "Are you planning to stop me?"
"No," Clark said. "We need you right now, and I'm pretty sure no matter how good a job you do, you won't get re-elected after we get married."
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"You kissed me," Luthor said, blankly.
"Well," Clark said.
"Xenophilia, not homosexuality," Luthor added, to himself. "Right. Although arguably both, since Kryptonians also have sexual dimorphism."
"Maybe I should—" Clark said.
"Fine, yes, I'll go to the farm with you," Luthor said irritably. "Shut up and do it again."
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Tags
Summary
When Snape brushes off James Potter's attempt to make amends, James makes a game out of winning the Slytherin's forgiveness. Instead of giving him some peace of mind, however, the game causes his feelings toward his once rival to spiral out of control in a direction he never anticipated.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,561
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 978
- Kudos:
- 8,575
- Bookmarks:
- 1,783
- Hits:
- 145,974
Bookmarked by cessly
21 May 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
“Ridiculous,” James murmured. “How could anyone not love you when they know you like I do?”
“I can’t believe I put up with such romantic nonsense."
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Tags
Summary
“So we’ll look for you in the North," Robb Stark said, "coming to pay your debt."
Series
- Part 4 of Game of Thrones works
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,142
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 272
- Kudos:
- 6,251
- Bookmarks:
- 951
- Hits:
- 79,594
Bookmarked by cessly
19 May 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
And he suddenly found himself smiling at her helplessly, almost in wonder; how the fuck had Renly found her?
She blinked at him, and her face went a little puzzled, as if she didn’t understand his expression. “Let’s go kill a king, shall we?” he said to her. “There’s nothing to it, I promise.”
Her eyes widened, and she almost laughed, he saw it; her mouth wobbled involuntarily, even though she also gave him an exasperated look, as if she couldn’t believe he was joking now. As if there was ever going to be a better time.
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The Heart Is A Sword by Moonsheen
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
13 Sep 2023
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Summary
As long as A-Su can remember, he has lived in Huan Hua Palace.
(post-PIDW fix-it, written originally for Red String of Fate: Qijiu Fanzine)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,319
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 397
- Bookmarks:
- 83
- Hits:
- 1,759
Bookmarked by cessly
25 Apr 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
He knows this face. He knows it better than his own.
“Qi-ge,” whispers Shen Qingqiu.
It’s the sword’s howl that answers:
Xiao Jiu, I was made for you.
The blade comes down.
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what is woven into the lives of others by helloearthlings
Fandoms: If We Were Villains - M.L. Rio
23 Jul 2018
Tags
Summary
Alexander takes the letter from my hands, and I know he sees the name on the envelope because he sets it on the table without opening it, quickly, like the words would burn him if he read them.
“Oliver,” Alexander says carefully, his voice a mixture of fear, wonderment, and grief. “Are you sure you want me to –?”
“I need to know if you can see what I see,” I tell him. “You’re the only one who could be objective about it. Meredith’s too prejudiced against him. Pip would just pity me. I can’t talk to Wren. You’re the only one who can be objective. You’ll tell me if it’s nothing. You always have.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,365
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 345
- Kudos:
- 5,957
- Bookmarks:
- 1,137
- Hits:
- 60,755
Bookmarked by cessly
14 Apr 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
“I don’t live far from here,” James says, laugh breathless, leaning into me. “How – how long can you stay?”
“James,” I gaze at him, wondering how he can still ask the question after all this time. He should know by now. Maybe it’s my fault for not telling him. Maybe it’s his fault for letting guilt overtake any other emotion he’s capable of feeling. “Always. Forever.”
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Tags
Summary
Victor learns Japanese while in Hasetsu. He doesn't tell Yuuri, and things get dicey when he overhears Yuuri and Mari talking about him in Japanese. Repeatedly.
(The subtitle of this fic should be: Victor Nikiforov really needs a hug. Luckily, he gets one. Eventually.)
~~~
“No,” Victor says, skating up to Yuuri on the ice, “you have to push all the way from here, or you’ll never get the height you need for that axel.” He sets his hand on Yuuri’s ass, tracing the muscle group he’s referring to. “Not here.” He taps Yuuri’s thigh. He doesn’t know the words for the muscles in English, only knows how to show him.
Yes, technically he’s grabbing Yuuri’s ass, but how else is he to communicate?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,245
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 15
- Comments:
- 2,935
- Kudos:
- 17,163
- Bookmarks:
- 5,904
- Hits:
- 232,677
Bookmarked by cessly
13 Apr 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
His love is the ebb of his breath, the sweet inhalation of oxygen. It’s the satisfaction of a glistening pane of fresh ice, waiting to be carved into white tracks.
His love for Yuuri cannot be taken away. It is his, and even if Yuuri doesn’t want him, he will always have it. It doesn’t hurt to love like this. It’s effortless. He loves Yuuri, and maybe… maybe… Maybe he deserves to be loved, too.
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black cat in the white moonlight by Azzandra
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
12 Sep 2023
Tags
Summary
A few weeks after the qi deviation that results in Shen Qingqiu losing his memories, Yue Qingyuan finds a little kitten in the rain.
These facts are related.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,470
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 127
- Kudos:
- 1,613
- Bookmarks:
- 487
- Hits:
- 9,329
Bookmarked by cessly
11 Apr 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
"A-Jiu," Yue Qingyuan repeated as he took up combing his hair again.
"Mm."
"A-Jiu."
"Yes?"
"A-Jiu."
"Is your brain broken? Why do you keep calling me?"
Yue Qingyuan grinned, and A-Jiu huffed, haughtily exasperated with him. But this was the person Yue Qingyuan had missed most in life, and for so long that the lack of him had settled like a permanent lump in his chest. He was not exactly the same in all details, but it was all the parts of him that Yue Qingyuan mourned when Shen Qingqiu woke without his memories.
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...and that's why they stopped showing guests the sex trees by Azzandra for catinabigcoat
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
21 Sep 2023
Tags
Summary
Sometimes you and a bro get hit by an aphrodisiac and have to help each other out. Totally normal day at work.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,969
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 81
- Kudos:
- 1,069
- Bookmarks:
- 217
- Hits:
- 9,661
Bookmarked by cessly
11 Apr 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
"Begging Qingqiu-shidi's pardon, but this shixiong must impose on him," Yue Qingyuan said, and it struck Shen Qingqiu that that was a completely unhinged string of words to utter while also beginning to take his pants off. This xianxia world probably didn't have porn movies, but if it did, that line would have come straight from one.
"Ah, shixiong, no, it's not an imposition, you're just as inconvenienced as this shidi by the whole situation! Please don't apologi--"
Yue Qingyuan pushed down his pants over his sizeable bulge, and out sprang an organ of such length and girth that Shen Qingqiu's jaw snapped shut in shock. Zhangmen-shixiong, why are you carrying that thing around! Aren't you already the top figure of the cultivation world, do you need to beat men in every other category too?? Leave some face for other people!
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While the rest of us settle for skeletons by Azzandra
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
25 Aug 2023
Tags
Summary
Shen Jiu loses his memories while out on a mission, and gets himself adopted into a minor sect in some obscure countryside.
Five years pass before his fellow Peak Lords find him again.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 57,302
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 688
- Kudos:
- 4,948
- Bookmarks:
- 1,707
- Hits:
- 64,212
Bookmarked by cessly
11 Apr 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
'This is it,' thought Shen Qingqiu. 'He's stopped pretending.'
Yue Qingyuan took a single step forward and grabbed Shen Qingqiu's upper arm. It wasn't painful, but the grip felt unbreakable to Shen Qingqiu, who was frozen in shock at the reaction he'd managed to garner.
"Nothing," Yue Qingyuan said firmly, voice low and intense, expression unreadable. "I wouldn't ask for anything to turn them away, because the Qiu can't have you. I'd never let them have you, even if they were still alive, but they're not, Xiao Jiu, I saw it with my own eyes. They're dead and burned down, the whole rotten house. You're free, and nobody can say otherwise as long as I live."
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Tags
Summary
A collection of short stories depicting new versions of old myths.
OR:
What happens to Icarus after he falls, Hermes and Hestia meddle and save humanity, and Hades would just like a nap.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 87,386
- Chapters:
- 33/?
- Comments:
- 2,027
- Kudos:
- 6,996
- Bookmarks:
- 2,311
- Hits:
- 110,238
Bookmarked by cessly
07 Apr 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
“Goddess,” he murmurs, then pulls a single copper rose from thin air and offers it to her. “For you.”
She takes it, her fingers brushing his, and his hands are still warm like he’s just pulled them from the forge.
He came to the place where the worst thing that ever happened to him occurred. He’s given her a gift with no strings. He’s offering her only this – the skill of his hands and the bravery of his heart.
What she wants is someone who will take her as she is and grow with her, who will explain the world patiently and know her well enough to make her something beautiful.
She is the goddess of love and beauty. She cannot be bought with castles.
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Tags
Summary
Fifteen years have passed since the end of the Hundred Year War. Aang is trapped in Republic City with only one person he can confide in.
Aang Rarepair Week 2022 Day 4 Prompt: Last Time
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,723
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 41
- Kudos:
- 211
- Bookmarks:
- 50
- Hits:
- 3,839
Bookmarked by cessly
06 Apr 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
"Then maybe I should make you my wife. Remove a layer of the taboo. Maybe then our nights together won't make me feel so naked.
"I think you'd grow bored of me if I was your wife."
"You're many things, Azula. Boring isn't one of them."
"I love it when you compliment me."