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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya makes comments about Shane talking too much.

    Shane takes him seriously and attempts to stop talking.

    It doesn’t go well.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,966
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    534
    Kudos:
    10,720
    Bookmarks:
    2,103
    Hits:
    82,837

    02 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “You can go, y’know, if you want-“

    “Ah, no. I do not want to,” Ilya interrupts. “Stay at home with my very sexy husband who is wearing his glasses, or go out to a club filled with people who are not you? The answer is very simple, Shane.”

    Shane rolls his eyes again, but he’s smiling as he saunters towards Ilya.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,254
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    342
    Kudos:
    3,458
    Bookmarks:
    465
    Hits:
    18,326

    02 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Two years into their marriage, Shane discovers that Ilya has never been on a real first date. There is only one way to remedy the situation: Shane asks his husband out on a date where they pretend that they have just met.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,999
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    95
    Kudos:
    1,096
    Bookmarks:
    170
    Hits:
    11,217

    02 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane tries to stop Ilya’s ridiculous habit of climbing into his hoodies—only to realize he’d rather lose every hoodie he owns than make Ilya unhappy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,693
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    1,489
    Bookmarks:
    192
    Hits:
    10,717

    02 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    (9:31pm) Ilya: I’m sorry I’ve been such a burden

    (9:33pm) Ilya: I know I’ve taken away your chance to explore yourself and find someone who’s good enough for you. I think you should take that chance now. If you find a nice boy in Montreal who you like, I promise I won’t stand in the way.

    (9:34pm) Ilya: If you still want me at the end of this, I’ll be waiting

    (9:34pm) Ilya: I’m sorry

    OR - Shane's friends keep telling him he can do better than Ilya. Ilya starts to believe them

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,683
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    363
    Kudos:
    3,125
    Bookmarks:
    1,095
    Hits:
    49,808

    30 Jun 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya shook his head, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye when he finally stopped laughing. “I am not going to hurt you, Hayden. I am very tempted to use this situation against you because it is funny, yes, but Shane would kill me.”

    Hayden swore that he had somehow heard it wrong.

    Shane would kill Ilya? In what universe would Shane Hollander—the same Shane Hollander who nagged at Hayden to stop killing the bugs he found in his house and set them free instead—do any damage to a literal mafia boss? To Ilya Rozanov?

    or: 2 times people were surprised to see shane walking the mafia boss ilya rozanov like a dog, and the 1 time someone knew all along.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,333
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    214
    Kudos:
    4,802
    Bookmarks:
    711
    Hits:
    67,284

    30 Jun 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Cliff watches him squeeze the phone between his cheek and shoulder, lifting the jersey over his head as he continues to talk, a bit distracted now by the multitasking.

    “And was good practice, you know, for when I am your husband."

    Immediately, the locker room goes dead silent. And so does Rozanov, in fact.

    In which Ilya accidentally calls himself Shane's future husband in the middle of the Bears locker room. Worse still, they're not even dating yet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,942
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    268
    Kudos:
    4,770
    Bookmarks:
    986
    Hits:
    29,874

    29 Jun 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov, captain of the Boston Raiders, has a boyfriend. A definitely real, suspiciously (and boringly) handsome, conveniently offline, consistently unable to meet up in real life boyfriend.

    Who lives in Canada.

    Unfortunately for him, absolutely no one believes him.

    The more serious Ilya gets about his Totally Real Canadian Boyfriend™️, the more concerned his teammates become that someone either needs to call MTV and get him on the next episode of Catfish or that he's slowly losing his mind.

    Shane Hollander is, fortunately, very real, very sarcastic, and increasingly delighted that an entire NHL locker room seems to think that he's a government psyop to distract Ilya from his game.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,633
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    742
    Kudos:
    11,374
    Bookmarks:
    1,846
    Hits:
    68,999

    25 Jun 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya goes on a roadie while Shane is still on LTIR.

    LISA: Whatever rocks your socks

    NICOLE: Whatever tickles your fancy

    CASSIE: Whatever flips your pancake

    SELENA: Whatever turns your crank

    CAITLIN: Whatever fondles your goose

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,112
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    291
    Kudos:
    10,544
    Bookmarks:
    693
    Hits:
    57,923

    22 Jun 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Most of the time, Ilya doesn’t pick on him about it. Partly because Ilya knows when to pick and choose his battles, and any battle relating to a Shane routine is lost before it starts – but mainly because the little sleepy snuffling sounds that he insists he doesn’t make because he’s not sleeping, he’s meditating, so shut the fuck up, are really fucking cute.

    But sometimes, Ilya wants – needs – his husband’s undivided attention in their last few moments of peace before another loud, hectic, and exhausting day full of other people stealing it.

    Or maybe annoying Shane just enough to get him to slam the door a little bit too hard on his way out of the car, to give Ilya one quick dose of his adorable angry kitten face, is Ilya’s own form of morning meditation.

    “Shane.”

    Shane starts a bit, but otherwise doesn’t move or open his eyes. “Hmm?”

    “What sport would you play if you were more athletic?

    -----
    or, five times ilya makes shane feel less like a passenger princess and more like a passenger prisoner
    + one time ilya lets shane take the driver’s seat

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,621
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    156
    Kudos:
    2,874
    Bookmarks:
    701
    Hits:
    40,910

    20 Jun 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “-moya rybka, I am sorry, sweet girl-” Ilya is saying, on his knees in the middle of their living room and patting the rug near him with what looks like devastation on his face as Anya continues to ignore him, curled up on Shane’s lap instead. Fresh off of several stacked events to fit them into a weekend–because Shane’s mom is nothing if not efficient when it comes to the deals she makes–Ilya got home only a few minutes ago, still in the outfit he’d left his Buzzfeed puppy interview in, which Anya had clearly not appreciated, sniffing him suspiciously after her initial excited greeting and then retreating to Shane immediately when he patted his thigh in welcome.

    Shane is trying not to be obviously enjoying Ilya’s turmoil as much as he is, shifting Anya to lay on her back like a baby in one arm and cooing at her.

    “I know, huh? Papa left and played with who knows how many other dogs, and the whole time you were here missing him. I bet he wasn’t even thinking about you, huh?”

    “Hollander!” Ilya says, sounding scandalized. “Do not tell her that! Is not true!”

    (collection of standalone fics/ficlets prompted by my own tumblr posts) (will update as inspiration strikes)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,718
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    1,072
    Kudos:
    7,048
    Bookmarks:
    1,549
    Hits:
    119,127

    17 Jun 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    There's a cockroach in the cottage, and Ilya is not about to be the one who handles it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,877
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    141
    Kudos:
    3,148
    Bookmarks:
    514
    Hits:
    18,323

    16 Jun 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In which Shane Hollander strains a tendon, cracks a tooth, breaks a rib, and tries not to put a dent in his marriage.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,451
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    3,142
    Bookmarks:
    633
    Hits:
    29,870

    15 Jun 2026

  14. Public Bookmark 28

    Tags
    Summary

    He shifts onto his side, facing the nightstand. "Wow. You really do not love me."

    "Ilya."

    Shane's very mature husband blows a raspberry at him. He chuckles.

    "You're a child."

    A lazy morning in the Hollander-Rozanov household.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,091
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    232
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    1,921

    12 Jun 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Ilya, this is an ad for fitness equipment.”

    “No, this is ad for Shane Hollander. There just happens to be a treadmill in background.”

    “Ilya…”

    What? It is true. I think maybe even treadmill is taking up too much space in video.”

     


    OR: Ilya watches his husband in a Peloton ad. It goes as unhinged as expected.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,838
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    156
    Kudos:
    4,937
    Bookmarks:
    813
    Hits:
    56,849

    12 Jun 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander Rozanov is many things: a devoted father, a loving husband, and currently, a pregnant omega stranded in a restaurant with his three-year-old daughter because nobody believes he's married to the owner.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,803
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    287
    Kudos:
    8,080
    Bookmarks:
    1,334
    Hits:
    86,829

    11 Jun 2026

  17. Public Bookmark 39

    Tags
    Summary

    Ugh, God he’s so cute. He doesn’t even know it and even worse, he’s not even trying to be. He’s not even doing anything, but Ilya just wants to pounce on him. He just wants to sit on his lap, kiss his face and bite him. Not enough to hurt him but he’s just so fucking cute, it’s almost overwhelming for him to think about. Everything he does is just so fucking cute.

     

    Short fluff piece where Ilya struggles with his cuteness aggression toward Shane

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,538
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    375
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    3,547

    08 Jun 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “If I gave Jackie a day of getting to have sex with me whenever she wants as a thank you for tidying the living room, I think she’d divorce me,” Hayden says.

    “Nah, man, she’d kill you,” J. J. says, which is probably true.

    Shane shrugs. “That sounds like a straight people problem.”

    Hayden is truly glad that the times of Shane torturing himself by being in the closet are over. But. Well. This conversation is kind of making him miss those days.

    ---

    Finally, after everything, Shane is a happily married man. Incredibly happily married. It only becomes a problem once he thinks it qualifies him to dispense relationship advice.

    Or, five times Shane gives relationship advice his friends disagree with, and one time he doesn’t.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,060
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    524
    Kudos:
    14,077
    Bookmarks:
    2,156
    Hits:
    84,691

    08 Jun 2026

  19. Public Bookmark 87

    Tags
    Summary

    Their four-year-old diagnoses Ilya with something that only Band-Aids and plastic stethoscopes can treat. Shane helps.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,725
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    573
    Bookmarks:
    87
    Hits:
    5,279

    07 Jun 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “You’re beautiful,” Ilya whispers into the sunlit room, trying to preserve the moment just a little longer.

    The corners of Shane’s mouth quirk up, failing to hide his pleased smile, maybe he’s not even trying. Ilya lets his straining arm drop down, reaching for Shane’s face. He has to tilt his head awkwardly to avoid the sun from blinding him again.

    He ghosts his fingertips across the freckles under Shane’s eye, back and forth, before slowly making his way onto the bridge of his nose. He slides his pointer finger down the slope and taps lightly against his nose, watching the way it scrunches up, freckles trying to go into hiding.

    Everything about him is so beautiful it has something aching in Ilya’s chest.

    He drops his finger further down into the dip of his cupid’s bow, gently pressing the pad into his lip. He traces the shape, top and bottom, and then dances his fingers along the seam. Shane’s lips part slightly around a soft exhale.

    Or: 5 times Ilya gets to worship Shane’s freckles and one time he has to reassure him

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,294
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    646
    Bookmarks:
    158
    Hits:
    7,002

    06 Jun 2026

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