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He threads his way toward the refreshment table, thinking the punch actually does look rather good. There’s someone in front of it, their back turned on the party – someone with familiar gold curls. Edward clears his throat and the man spins round, his cheeks flushing as though he’s been caught doing something untoward.
“Well – hello!” he says a little breathlessly and Ed is grateful for his knee brace, because he thinks he may have buckled otherwise. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Stede Bonnet, otherwise known as the groom. How d’you do?”
“I’m Edward – Edward Teach,” he replies, shaking Stede’s outstretched hand. His skin is soft and Ed feels a little self-conscious about his own callused and rough palms, but the greeting is over before he knows it, and he searches for the next thing to say. “Otherwise known as the florist.”
*****
A modern AU based on Imagine Me & You, in which Edward is a florist who does the flowers for Stede's wedding.
Bookmarked by every_atom
11 Jan 2026
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this one will bring you love by This_Will_Be_Our_Year
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
11 Jan 2026
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A year after his wife's death, Stede Bonnet is still struggling to get through each day as a single parent.
On paper, Ed Teach appears to be doing great, but after a string of bad breakups he decides to get some help with changing old habits.
When a scheduling mixup brings the two together, both of their lives are changed in ways that neither would have expected.
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31 Dec 2025
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Stede’s first kiss was perfect.
It sucks. It has fucked him over. Set the bar too high. No other kisses have measured up since that first one.
Well, except later kisses with that same person.
***
Stede is lucky enough that his super cool best friend, Ed, is willing to teach him how to kiss. It's going to take years for him to realize why exactly it never feels just as good with anyone else.Bookmarked by every_atom
25 Dec 2025
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The day they get married, the things he knows about Stede could fit on a post-it note.
First: he’s fucking rich.
Second: he needs a husband to stay that way.
Third: he is built like a brick shithouse. Pretty eyes, nice hair. Penchant for weird socks.
(Or: 5 times Ed doesn't tell his husband he loves him, and 1 time he does.)
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20 Dec 2025
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Our saltwater solution reduces gravity’s pull by over 80%, ensuring you'll effortlessly stay afloat! We keep the water at a steady 36 degrees—matching your skin’s temperature. This blend of weightlessness and warmth blurs the lines between your body and the water, as your nerves can’t tell where you end and the surrounding environment begins.
Weightlessness. Yeah. If anything’s gonna be Ed’s cure-all, it’s gotta be weightlessness, right?
Ed’s carried around weight for most of his life. He’s tired. His muscles ache. His joints are all ground down to dust.
Also - the word solution is right there. Which proves it.
This is it. This is Ed’s solution.
(Or: Ed's on a wellness journey for his fuckass brain. It's not going great. The guy at the float tank place is being way too nice about it. Please mind the tags!)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 154,036
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 1,165
- Kudos:
- 423
- Bookmarks:
- 110
- Hits:
- 12,256
Bookmarked by every_atom
25 Nov 2025
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No Shenaniganry Allowed Aboard Jeff's Inn on the Sea by Juniper (GelatinousStand), pogo
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Nov 2025
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Ed and Stede have been best friends for years, and now own and run a cruise ship together, Jeff's Inn on the Sea. Everything's great! Except Ed has been pining for his best friend for years, and is sick to death of getting hit on by passengers. After a particularly trying day, he brings it up to Stede, and they hatch a brilliant (incredibly stupid) plot: they'll pretend they're dating, so everyone will think they're off limits. It'll be great!
Things do not go as planned.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,825
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 309
- Kudos:
- 128
- Bookmarks:
- 22
- Hits:
- 1,826
Bookmarked by every_atom
22 Nov 2025
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Stede and Ed are not having sex.
To the uninformed, the things they do together may strongly resemble sex, but Stede knows better.
This is just mutual stress relief between two professional, platonic, regular, normal co-captains.
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17 Nov 2025
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I Want to Know What Love Is by BookknobsandBroomsticks
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
02 Nov 2025
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Stede’s been bringing his queer book club to Ed’s bar for a couple of months now, and Ed’s been nursing a bit of a crush (okay a lot of a crush) basically since the moment he walked in. He doesn’t intend to act on it, doesn’t really think Stede would be interested in him anyway, but then he overhears them talking about their most recent book - a smutty romance that Lucius picked. Stede didn’t enjoy it, doesn’t think relationships like that exist in the real world. That all-consuming, ‘can’t keep your hands off each other’, desperate wanting. And, well, he can’t have that. Stede might just be the guy of his dreams, so if nothing else Ed knows he can show Stede what it feels like to be wanted.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,627
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 148
- Kudos:
- 174
- Bookmarks:
- 38
- Hits:
- 1,761
Bookmarked by every_atom
08 Nov 2025
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By the time they made it out of the crush of traffic fleeing the airport, there was exactly one hotel room left in the entire city—and they took it, because what other choice did they have?
Ed’s secret crush on his best friend Stede is put to the test when they’re stranded in a hotel room together, with a weird bathroom and only one bed.
Bookmarked by every_atom
04 Nov 2025
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In Every Generation by dimsimkitty, Writer_Hardly_Know_Her
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
26 Sep 2025
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Supposedly, in every generation there is a chosen one. One girl who alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness.
But sometimes… things don’t go as planned.
A OFMD/Buffy The Vampire Slayer AU Featuring:
- Rogue Demon Hunter/Trying his best to be an adequate parent Stede Bonnet
- Slayer/Definitely just a normal girl (seriously, don’t tell her dad about the slayer thing, she’s going through enough as it is) Alma Bonnet
- Watcher/Regular ol’ tweed-wearing guidance counselor Ed Teach
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,431
- Chapters:
- 3/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 76
- Kudos:
- 37
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 341
Bookmarked by every_atom
13 Oct 2025
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Only once they were out of sight of the café did the man stop and take his arm away, giving Stede a sheepish little grin. “Looked like you needed rescuing back there,” he said, and then held out his free hand. “I’m Ed.”
Stede, still a little dumbfounded, grasped Ed’s hand in a weak shake. “Stede. Stede Bonnet. I’ll pay you back for the tea, I promise. I get paid next week.”
------
A modern AU where Ed saves Stede from embarrassment in a café, and then suddenly accidental sugar daddy happens. This is a prompt fill from the OFMD kink meme, the fic is all complete and a new chapter will be posted weekly.
ETA: A podfic version of this fic, read by the incomparable SD_Ryan, is available here!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 57,695
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 1,416
- Kudos:
- 1,777
- Bookmarks:
- 521
- Hits:
- 33,886
Bookmarked by every_atom
04 Oct 2025
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Edward Teach has made a massive mistake-- what's a few more?
A Gentlebeard lovers to exes to lovers fic set in the modern era.
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Finally, at 42, pop star Edward Teach is about to get his fairytale ending. He’s got the perfect guy—handsome, kind, patient, and most importantly: crazy about Ed. When his boyfriend proposes, it should be an easy yes, yes, a million times yes! There’s just one problem. Ed’s kinda sorta already married, and he hasn’t spoken to the guy in seventeen years.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 152,552
- Chapters:
- 30/38
- Comments:
- 1,274
- Kudos:
- 280
- Bookmarks:
- 72
- Hits:
- 10,600
Bookmarked by every_atom
03 Sep 2025
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Of Leap Years and Lighthouses by Temporal_discounting
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
23 Aug 2025
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Summary
In Ed's experience, there's nothing quite so effective at snuffing out a crush than the disappointment of a mediocre roll in the hay.
So, Ed has a plan: One quick fuck to get this crush on Stede out of his system.
It's a good plan. Solid, simple, and definitely, one hundred per cent foolproof.
Right?
Bookmarked by every_atom
24 Aug 2025
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Unsubscribe Unsuccessful, or: You've Got Male by nomadsland
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
25 Jul 2025
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Ed Teach starts getting emails. They keep coming. They are not for him, but it turns out, sort of, that they are?
Bookmarked by every_atom
29 Jul 2025
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The new year at Queen Anne's SEND Secondary School comes with a promotion. Stede is the new Head of English and endeavours to provide all the help he can to his students, leading him right to a certain new art teacher…
This is a story about touch and about two people learning and growing together — discovering the ways they can and deserve to pursue love and affection.
If Stede ever did find someone to match his weirdness, someone who understood his idiosyncrasies, then great, but he wasn't holding his breath. He knew he was difficult to live with — his parents and his ex-wife had all certainly drilled that into him — but he had set himself up nicely living alone and didn't need to rely on some other person to have a fulfilling life. What were the odds of that happening, anyway?
With Art! For the OFMD Reverse Bang 2025
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,904
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 294
- Kudos:
- 101
- Bookmarks:
- 18
- Hits:
- 2,203
Bookmarked by every_atom
28 Jul 2025
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Edward Teach is a florist, who does a lot of weddings, but never his own.
Stede Bonnet inherited his father's mansion, and what else would he do with it than transform it into a wedding venue?- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,140
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 367
- Kudos:
- 225
- Bookmarks:
- 37
- Hits:
- 2,639
Bookmarked by every_atom
12 Jul 2025
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Ask anyone: Edward Teach is the greatest pro surfer in the world. Or, he was. Now he’s retired, and burnt out, and okay maybe possibly dealing with a bit of untreated clinical depression. He hasn’t stepped foot in the water in almost two years—can’t even bring himself to go for a dip in the private pool at his fancy apartment complex, although not for lack of trying. Enter: Stede Bonnet. Also known as Pool DILF. Also also known as the love of Ed’s life. And love makes us do crazy things. Like maybe pretending you don’t know how to swim so your crush will offer to teach you.
What could go wrong?
A Reverse Big Bang collab with Sailor's Ruin!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 46,748
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 875
- Kudos:
- 470
- Bookmarks:
- 94
- Hits:
- 7,965
Bookmarked by every_atom
07 Jul 2025
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Ed moved to this small, nowhere bit of beach town to get away from his life and get back in touch with himself— whoever the fuck that is, anyways— so the absolute very last thing he ever expects to see in his local-turned-personal-favorite hole in the wall pub is his ex husband.
Or for said ex husband to come up to him to say hi, talk, and catch up.
Fuck.
Bookmarked by every_atom
06 Jul 2025
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Stede Bonnet left the life he had known for the life of his dreams. A few years in, however, he finds everything lacking in luster, even in glittering Los Angeles. Until the day a stranger arrives on his doorstep, covered in tattoos and in need of Stede's specialty.
Bookmarked by every_atom
24 Jun 2025