jeminisms
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The Wooing of Israel Hands by fantasticallyobscure, jeminisms
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
31 Jul 2024
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"Fine, maybe after their first few meetings Stede might have described Izzy Hands as full of nothing but piss and vinegar, but he had come to realise more and more that he had been wrong. The man was infuriating, true. Angry, disillusioned. Practical to a fault. But also more loyal than any knight from a story book. Observant, dedicated, with a kindness that asked none in return. Oddly (irritatingly) funny, and breathtaking with a sword. Even down a leg, the man had managed to awe Stede with his skill and flair. It seemed to Stede an utter injustice in the world that such a man should sit resigned to not being worth the effort of romancing."
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In the aftermath of Calypso's celebration, things still aren't quite right aboard The Revenge, and Stede is determined to fix it, with his new First Mate at his side. However, when he overhears Izzy talking about his experience (or lack thereof) of romance, Stede finds himself determined not only to make things better for the crew but to show Izzy how much he is appreciated. He sets off on a mission to woo Israel Hands and finds himself feeling things he hadn't anticipated.
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Stede Bonnet is ready for his new life. He's got a brand-new degree in education, an ex-wife and a new job just far enough away to feel like a fresh start, but close enough to see his kids on the weekends. As Revenge Elementary's new Kindergarten teacher, he's excited to mold minds, but terrified, too. His new coworkers prove to be an eccentric bunch, but none are more interesting than his fellow Kindergarten teacher, Ed. When fate brings them together on his very first day, Stede has no way of knowing that his life is about to change trajectory, or what a rollercoaster of new experiences his first year teaching is going to be.
Rated M eventually for strictly-outside-of-school encounters. 😇 Partly inspired by the TV series Abbott Elementary.
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It's been a couple of weeks since they marooned Stede's crew and Ed is deep in his kraken-era rage. Izzy is miserable, but might the aftermath of a bad storm lead to some catharsis from unexpected sources?
This is for the 2023 OFMD Reverse Big Bang. Art is by the amazing Jem, story written by yours truly. Check out his twitter, they're so talented.
It was a joy to work with you, Jem!
Thank you to Remy, Rebecca, Jacky, Vex, Jillian and Jem for betaing!
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when izzy gets high strung, ed has to bring him down a notch. only, now there's the presence of stede bonnet to contend with.
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kiss me real hard, make me want it by jeminisms for midnight_laundry
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
22 May 2023
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Izzy has a rare night at port alone with Ed. Ed seems like she's on a mission, and it doesn't take long for Izzy to find out why.
Recent bookmarks
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When David finally opens his front door, Patrick Brewer is leaning against the entryway wall, arms crossed and foot tapping against the floor, clad in a pair of very tight Levi's and the ugliest puffer jacket that David has ever seen. The fashion disaster, however, can't hide how attractive Patrick is—broad shoulders, thick thighs, and a couple of stray curls peaking out of the toque crammed on his head all take David by surprise. Even the whiskey-brown eyes are gorgeous, despite the way they're narrowed in David's direction.
David is a celebrity stylist, tasked with styling up and coming indie musician Patrick Brewer, but a freak snowstorm traps them together.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,334
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 27
- Kudos:
- 90
- Bookmarks:
- 11
- Hits:
- 696
Bookmarked by jeminisms
22 Feb 2026
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The Mighty Nein are brought before Trent Ikithon, who devises a punishment specifically for Caleb and Jester…
Bookmarked by jeminisms
06 Jan 2026
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I hear the music and it takes me by surprise by icenineporcupine
Fandoms: Critical Role (Web Series)
20 Sep 2025
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“Jester’s here. The wedding is off. I had a dress and this huge prank planned for Fjord, and now nobody will see either one!”
The Sending blasts through the ordered calm of Caleb’s thoughts. Veth. Her shrill delivery is flippant. The message itself is a fluffernutter: an unmitigated bombshell.
Bookmarked by jeminisms
23 Nov 2025
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Adopting a secret cat in a no-pets-allowed apartment building is one thing. Kissing the new property manager after he discovers your secret cat is another.
Learning the property manager thought he was straight until you kissed him and accidentally sent him into a tailspin—well, it's a weird twenty-four hours for Ed Teach.
So: friends. Friends, he can do. Friends, that's easy. Except there are mochas, and there are movies, and there's this whole queer discovery he's helping Stede navigate, and there are a hell of a lot of chocolate muffins.
Sometimes the journey is the most important part.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 272,637
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Comments:
- 2,066
- Kudos:
- 1,097
- Bookmarks:
- 174
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- 56,814
Bookmarked by jeminisms
04 May 2025
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Ed finds Stede's journal, describing all the things he wants to learn about sex between men but doesn't dare ask about. Ed, of course, feels he's the exact right person to offer practical demonstrations on the subject.
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A season 1 canon-divergence AU set after The Art of Fuckery
Bookmarked by jeminisms
05 Dec 2024