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an academic’s guide to self-obliteration by Anonymous
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
05 Apr 2025
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Summary
Sirius is all fire, and Regulus is all ice. Where one burns too hot, the other cools; where one freezes, the other thaws.
Remus yearns to be the earth beneath them both.OR: Remus becomes the victim of his own decisions.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,173
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 29
- Kudos:
- 64
- Bookmarks:
- 11
- Hits:
- 4,022
Bookmarked by lemndrps
10 Feb 2026
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Summary
Under a much different circumstance, Eddie would have loved to have Steve’s eyes looking over him like that, would love to have that determination focused on him, but Eddie is very much dying, he knows it, so he smiles at Steve’s misplaced confidence instead, “High expectations, Stevie. Where’d you learn to swing like that anyway?”
“I’ll tell you,” Steve’s voice is a bit shaky, his tone wavering, even as he puts on a brave face, “but you have to stay alive, Munson.”
If he had more strength, he’d consider testing his luck one last time, tease Steve by asking if he swings for Eddie’s team, but- he’s tired.
Dying young. What a fucking nightmare.
Or, what if the Party defeats Vecna in time, and Eddie lives?
Series
- Part 1 of slowly learning that life is okay
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,491
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 23
- Comments:
- 242
- Kudos:
- 10,415
- Bookmarks:
- 2,365
- Hits:
- 119,739
Bookmarked by lemndrps
26 Jan 2026
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Before and After by underwisteria
Fandoms: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes - Suzanne Collins, Sunrise On The Reaping - Suzanne Collins
31 Jan 2026
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Summary
It had been almost a decade since they lost Lucy Gray and Billy Taupe. Because that was how the Covey defined time now. Before and After. The hurt had dulled in nine years, but every once in a while it resurfaced. In the accordion tucked beneath a rack of old costumes, nestled between the fabric. In the guitar propped up against the wall, out of tune and collecting dust because none of them had the heart to touch it. They were doing alright for themselves. Though the house had gotten awful drafty since two of their windows had broken some weeks ago.
----
65 years is a long time, and we'll never know exactly what happened. In the meantime, here's an educated guess.
Bookmarked by lemndrps
08 Oct 2025
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Summary
Sirius rides a flying motorbike, and snogs strangers in pubs, and strikes moody poses Remus finds irritatingly attractive. But for Remus, who drinks milky tea and wears flannel pyjamas, there's a chasm cracked right down the fault line between wanting and doing.
How he wants, though. How he wants.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,240
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 445
- Kudos:
- 4,912
- Bookmarks:
- 1,539
- Hits:
- 103,589
Bookmarked by lemndrps
21 May 2025
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Summary
Harry needs someone to take control.
Or maybe he just needs Sirius.
Bookmarked by lemndrps
18 Apr 2025
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Summary
“You want me to come with you on the holiday that you specifically booked for you and your girlfriend?”
“Ex-girlfriend,” Sirius corrects.
Remus looks at Sirius searchingly, and once again, several emotions flicker across his face; only this time, his expression lands on something like hope.
“Yeah. Okay.”
or,
Sirius is dumped by his girlfriend and drags his best friend on a holiday across Europe. And somewhere between Berlin clubs, Parisian boulevards, and Transylvanian villages, they fall into each other.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 133,493
- Chapters:
- 15/20
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 1,675
- Kudos:
- 4,344
- Bookmarks:
- 1,893
- Hits:
- 228,839
Bookmarked by lemndrps
24 Dec 2024
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Summary
“It’s just, well… Remus, does he have friends in the class at least? I worry that he’s lonely,” Sirius says. “If it can’t be me… I mean, does he have anyone?”
“Well no,” Remus starts but is abruptly cut off.
“Not at all! It’s so strange, no one will even go near him- ow” Remus pinches Peter hard.
“Shut it, Wormtail,” Remus bites at him then tries again, “Not in calc, no. But I’ve seen him ‘round with that scary bloke. Not sure his name… tall, dark hair, piercings?”
“Barty,” Sirius rolls his eyes.
“Sure. What’s his deal?” Remus asks, not really curious, but allowing Sirius to vent anyway.
“He’s a cunt, that’s his deal.”
“Right,” Remus says.
“Moony, maybe next time you see him would you try to- I mean could you just ask how he’s doing?” Sirius asks. “I’m worried.”
Bookmarked by lemndrps
10 Nov 2024
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Summary
The few descriptions of the only person not identified, seen at the hotel in Monaco where the victim was found, are incredibly vague. Average height, neither slim nor big. That’s about all it amounts to.
Fabian points out the difference in hair colours, eye colours, and the lack of any sort of style in the perpetrators of the killings on Evan’s wall.
That’s where they disagree. There might be no set style. But style - flair - is something that is carried throughout. He can’t imagine the man to be as unremarkable as the police report suggests.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,002
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 23
- Kudos:
- 56
- Bookmarks:
- 19
- Hits:
- 1,033
Bookmarked by lemndrps
23 Oct 2024
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The Homecoming of Sirius Black by lunarlivs, MissAmericanBi
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
10 Jan 2024
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Summary
Sirius Black is burned the fuck out. From his high-pressure job, his unfulfilling love life, the concept of existence in general... you get the idea.
With what used to be his life now just a smoldering pile of vaguely millennial-shaped wreckage drifting somewhere over the Manhattan skyline, Sirius leaves New York and moves home to Slytherin, Georgia—a wealthy suburb outside Atlanta—in an attempt to figure out what he is really doing in this prison of a meatsuit people call a body.
Enter: a smoking hot bartender with big hands, amber eyes, and a stubbornly hardened exterior Sirius is determined to crack.*
But with the passing of each month, Sirius starts to see that leaving a place doesn't mean forgetting the loss, returning to family doesn't mean coming home, and while love isn't found at the bottom of a pint glass—he may be the one pouring it.
*Author's note: the bartender actually looks like a stretched-out vanilla tootsie roll; Sirius is just a simp.
Series
- Part 1 of Homecoming Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 44,003
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 217
- Kudos:
- 546
- Bookmarks:
- 196
- Hits:
- 14,235
Bookmarked by lemndrps
17 Jul 2024
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Summary
You’ve learned to ignore the stench of perpetual horniness that Harry—twenty years old and finally free—exudes. That is, until you walk into the kitchen of Grimmauld Place and find him naked, spread over the table, with Draco Malfoy pounding into him from behind.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,497
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 137
- Kudos:
- 1,305
- Bookmarks:
- 244
- Hits:
- 18,531
Bookmarked by lemndrps
01 Apr 2024
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Summary
Remus Lupin has a congenital heart defect, and is awaiting an available heart for transplant. Sirius Black is an immature twenty-something, living with a couple other immature twenty-somethings. Both are obsessed with the same obscure book, which becomes their coping mechanism for navigating their instant and torrid love affair. Life, they discover, is precarious at best, but from each other, they learn how to make it something that's worth living.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 87,051
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 1,527
- Kudos:
- 6,200
- Bookmarks:
- 2,131
- Hits:
- 193,464
Bookmarked by lemndrps
08 Mar 2024
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Spoopy Fic: Remus Lupin, Supernatural Catnip by spookymoonie
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
10 Aug 2025
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Summary
Remus Lupin is your average, every day, boring, plain Jane bookworm.
Nothing interesting ever happens, and he’s gotten used to being bored working graveyards in the sex shop.
Nothing interesting.
Except the one time that faerie in his village’s forest offered him the opportunity to become a concubine. Or that time he lost his virginity to a banshee at summer camp. Or his only real friend aside from Lily, Byxbee the Ghost of Amortentia Adult Toys.
Yeah, nothing interesting ever happens to him, and he’s resigned to his lot in life.
Well… He did actually just meet someone who may be a vampire.
But what are the chances that Sirius Black II (who looks uncannily like his grandfather or great-grandfather, one of them, he can’t remember) is a vampire?Pre faerie human-pet offer, 0%. Post banshee sex and coincidences with the ‘ghost’ of his shop, maybe a 50-50.
Who knows? Vampire or not, Remus is determined to not let Sirius find out where he works or how kinky he really is until they at least have a first date blowie or two.
(SPOOPY MONTH BABESSSSS)
(Heed the tags.)Bookmarked by lemndrps
05 Mar 2024
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Summary
Remus cuts his soul open for monsters.
Bookmarked by lemndrps
20 Feb 2024
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The Great Gay Pornstar Twitter Feud of 2020 by Vixeree
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
28 Feb 2020
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Summary
“So what I’m hearing is that you’ve got a date with your hot, clever, fellow porn-star twitter nemesis, of whom you once said ‘I’d rather die than let that pretentious knobcloud touch my dick’... is that about right?”
“... Yes.”
Or; Remus Lupin forgets to turn the fucking camera on.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 76
- Kudos:
- 3,917
- Bookmarks:
- 641
- Hits:
- 48,914
Bookmarked by lemndrps
22 Jan 2024
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Summary
James and Regulus are getting married. Sirius and Remus haven't seen each other in six years.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 61,889
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 345
- Kudos:
- 4,022
- Bookmarks:
- 1,421
- Hits:
- 114,929
Bookmarked by lemndrps
17 Nov 2023
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Bookmarked by lemndrps
08 Nov 2023
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Summary
Berlin is absolutely miserable in February. Or it’s just Sirius.
Alternatively: A story of how Remus Lupin stepped into Sirius’ life, flashed his trademark grin, and reminded him that life is a beautiful thing meant to be enjoyed. No risk, no fun!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 89,679
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 16
- Comments:
- 1,475
- Kudos:
- 8,180
- Bookmarks:
- 3,238
- Hits:
- 299,117
Bookmarked by lemndrps
05 Nov 2023
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Summary
This is the story of how Sirius Black finds a dog.
Except, it's not really that.
This is the story of how Sirius Black finds a dog and meets a skilled veterinary surgeon with crinkly eyes and dimples in his cheeks.
Except, that's not really it either.
This is the story of how Sirius black finds a dog, meets a skilled veterinary surgeon with crinkly eyes and dimples in his cheeks, and grows the fuck up (at least a little bit).
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 96,883
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 1,046
- Kudos:
- 8,125
- Bookmarks:
- 2,923
- Hits:
- 227,858
Bookmarked by lemndrps
05 Nov 2023
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Summary
The four-by-four heaves its way down long, twisting lanes, little more than dirt tracks scuffed into the surrounding fields and hemmed in by serpentine walls of flat, grey stone. They truly are in the middle of nowhere: the countryside rushes past, all rolling green hills and vast, endless skies, and it's odious. Sirius wants to murder James with his bare hands.
Sirius and James accidentally find themselves on a Yorkshire farm during lambing season. The farmer’s son thinks that’s a bit annoying, actually.
Series
- Part 1 of Beneath a Big Blue Sky
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 68,298
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 15
- Comments:
- 1,262
- Kudos:
- 10,624
- Bookmarks:
- 4,217
- Hits:
- 268,472
Bookmarked by lemndrps
25 Oct 2023
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Summary
Maybe finding what's true isn't the hard part, maybe it's keeping your finger on it's pulse while you move - Jessica Dore
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 86,108
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 236
- Kudos:
- 487
- Bookmarks:
- 177
- Hits:
- 15,460
Bookmarked by lemndrps
02 Oct 2023